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Thursday, August 12, 2010

My Love Life

Hello, lovelies! Today was a good day. I did something SHOCKING! and decided to dye my hair back to its natural color, I got to hear a demo of a new Mike Lombardo song (so good), and I decided to alienate all my straight male readers by writing an entire paragraph about my boyfriend and my hair. I also posted a fiveawesomegirls video with terrible lighting, in which I make an inappropriate innuendo directed towards my engaged, female friend, and continue talking about my hair. And I took a shower. Really, I can see why you guys are so invested in my life; this crap's enthralling.

Anyway, I think it's about time to discuss a topic I've been asked about a lot lately, just to get it all out in the open and shoot down any possible rumors. I've been receiving quite a large number of questions concerning my love life. I'm going to officially address them now, once and for all, with the utmost maturity. Via a Myspace questionnaire from "pimpsurveys.com," entitled "Questions About You And Your Lover."

1. When did you guys start dating?
We met during my sophomore year of high school. I was sixteen. He was thirteen, but he'd just moved into my town.
2. How long have you been dating for?
You... really can't do that math? Four years.
3. How did you meet?
I'd heard a lot about him-- he was gaining popularity among the older kids at school-- but we first came into contact with each other during rehearsals for a musical I was in. Someone brought him over to me because I was stressed. He made me feel better.
4. Do you love him/her?
More than anything.
5. Do you want to spend the rest of your life with them?
I mean... I'd like to occasionally have a little something on the side, but I'd always choose him first.
6. Does he make you laugh and happy?
He makes me very happy. He doesn't exactly make me laugh, though.
7. Have you kissed?
The majority of the time that we're together, my lips are on him.
8. Do you like him for looks or personality?
Oh, both. He's gorgeous, but it's what's inside that counts.
9. Would he/she die for you?
He dies for me about once a week.
10. Would you die for him/her?
If our love continues at its current rate, he will probably be my cause of death. Yes.

So there you have it: my relationship with Chipotle, summed up into ten beautiful, grammatically-sound questions. I hope you're satisfied-- I just allowed you into a very personal part of my life. Me and Chipotle are special. We are intrepid. We carry on.

...I'm sorry for that. On to the sensing.

Today, I saw: myself in the mirror and gasped a little bit. It's going to take some time to get used to.
Today, I heard: aaaall about some lady's adventures in potty training her two-year-old. Hair salon conversations are extremely boring. It's like you're sitting in on a meeting for a club you don't belong to and have no desire to join.
Today, I smelled: fancy hair products I would never buy.
Today, I touched: two of my awesome friends from high school, Alyssa and Emiko. I went for a walk with my mom and brother at the park where my old cross-country team trains, and they ran over to me, covered in sweat. It was adorable.
Today, I tasted: arugula salad with roasted pine nuts.

Chipotle burritos this year: 23
Subscribers: 32,694
Nail color: "Through the Grapevine," Wet 'n' Wild

39 comments:

Morgan said...

A girl and her faux mexican food is a special bond. So special :D

to_thine_own_self said...

Hahaha! I was SO confused while reading your answers to the survey and then I read the next paragraph and laughed so hard. Out loud, even.
That was funny, Hayley. XD
Anyway, I really like your hair color now. Super cute.

=]

Today, I saw: horse poop in my backyard. I live in a town with no horses nearby. I have no idea how it got there.
Today, I heard: Glitter in the Air by Pink for the thousandth or so time. Love that song.
Today, I smelled: the freshly fallen rain.
Today, I touched: tomatoes, as I was putting them on my taco.
Today, I tasted: a lovely and delicious taco, like I mentioned before.

Scott said...

You just simultaneously alienated me, then reeled me right back in with an eloquent conversation about mexican food. YES.

Casey Rose said...

Thank you for opening up to us, Hayley. I feel so much closer to you now. I totes meant for that to sound as creepy as it did. *even creepier wink*

Also, I think I should be allotted bonus points for catching the Elizabethtown quote/reference. I even read it in Kirsten Dunst's voice in my head.

(Voices in my head, creepy winking... if only I could top it off by staring into your bedroom window.)

(Uh, sorry for that.)

fannylemon said...

Today, I saw: That my room looks like a tornado just came through.
Today, I heard: "You can paint that house a rainbow of colors, rip out the floorboards, replace the shutters, but that's my plastic in the dirt."
Today, I smelled: A warm maple sugar candle burning on the hall table. My mom just bought like five of them because they were on sale, so that's what I'll be smelling for quite some time.
Today, I touched: shirt after shirt after shirt as I folded my life away this afternoon at work.
Today, I tasted: raisin bran. which I ate for dinner. out of a coffee mug. just because it's better that way.

Michael said...

I lol'd. I'm Definitely getting Chipotle tomorrow now.

Paloma said...

Oh Hayley. xD

Today I saw: my dad getting irritated by a really bad printer

Today I heard: myself gasping when I was told I would not need notebooks this schoolyear. It felt like Umbridge saying: "close your books and take out your wands, please" :D

Today I smelled: home-made Mac <3

Today I touched: my new school books. Especially the literature one

Today I tasted: Vanilla Capuccino. Burnt my tongue pretty badly.

Melody said...

Saw: a Toy Story backpack that I wanted more than any self-respecting 17-year-old should.
Heard: Japanese pop music.
Touched: the fur of a necktie-wearing chihuahua
Smelled: my friend's feet
Tasted: Sourdough toast. Mm :)

Jess said...

The fact that I immediately knew you were talking about Chipotle after the first question concerns me. Haha, Hayley, you're awesome :)

Oh, and your hair looks really nice!

Miranda said...

yeah, see the whole I was sixteen and he was thirteen was rather confusing to me, until the end. VERY FUNNY HALEY.
anyways

today I saw the rugged coast off an island. It looks like the edge of the world.

today I heard twenty austrian tourists try to order ice cream in their broken english. some were confusing, others were just plain adorable.

today I smelled authentic beef tacos. That shit's like food porn.

today I touched my sticky hands as I left the recycling depot

today I tasted "molten" chocolate. more food porn :P

Alice said...

Your hair is beautiful!
Saw: Read/devoured The Girl Who Played With Fire, SO GOOD
Heard: a mother and her three little girls in the dressing room next to mine, "I wish I could touch the ceiling."
Touched: back to school supplies. oyvey.
Smelled: grilled cheese and fresh baked cookies
Tasted: Grilled cheese and freshly baked cookies

Sarah said...

Love the hair! It always takes getting used too! My friends say that about me too, since my hair is an ever changing rainbow from blonde to black which changes every time I decide my roots are getting to heinous :-p

Today, I saw: The glittering swirl of a mini USB lava lamp given to me as an office present from a college who leave today :(
Today, I heard: The screech of a fire alarm. Gave me a hell of a fright!
Today, I smelled: Someone cooking toasted cheese sandwich in the kitchen at work. Made me very hungry!
Today, I touched: some sheep plasma that I split on myself during an experiment. It was slimy!
Today, I tasted: A chicken and avocado sandwich with a good dollop of mayo. It was delicious!

Lizzy said...

WOW THAT CHIPOTLE THING LEFT ME LAUGHING A LOT.

PS I like your hair.

Uhm...yeah so that's all I have to say. That sounded stupid. Bye.

Lizzy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dana said...

Ooooh, you make me laugh. :D

Today, I saw: the absolute insanity that is Bestey Johnson.
Today, I heard: the opener to our marching band show. So jazzy, so awesome.
Today, I smelled: sunscreen. Lots and lots of sunscreen.
Today, I tasted: fried eggs and toast. Omnomnomnom!
Today, I touched: my puppy's head fluff.

Joseph Birdsong said...

*takes notes on nail polish and love life.*

Ben said...

I honestly did not see that coming. Going back and reading "him" as "Chipotle" makes it alot funnier. Thanks for making me laugh.

Anonymous said...

hahaha clever hailey :] but for realizees... i wanna know how you and mike met haha

Today, I saw: me and a friend look ridiculous with mass amounts of weird makeup on
Today, I heard: Aarons Party by the one and only Aaron Carter
Today, I smelled: weird coffee scented lip gloss that probably hasnt been used in years...
Today, I touched: my camera, as my friend and I documented that on August 12, 2010, we could recite all of the lyrics to Aarons Party. we're aware that we're freaks hahaha
Today, I tasted: delishhh toasted cookies

Elorfin said...

I really did laugh out loud at the end of your little questionnaire there.

I'm not fond of barber shop conversations myself. They typically have to do with sports or something equally uninteresting to me. If they ever start talking constitutional law or video games, I'll be interested, but I'm not going to hold my breath.

I suppose I should share that I've never had the opportunity to eat at Chipotle. There's one in our town and I've even been there once before, but I've never actually eaten anything there. I've never been a big fan of spicy foods. Being something of a super taster, I'm really sensitive to stuff like that. *shrugs* Maybe one day I'll try it out.

Further, I like how the spellchecker wants to turn Chipotle into "Chippendale" (among other options). I find that very humorous.

Stefan said...

You ever been to Qudoba? It's similar. But any way I have never been to either place. But then I move to boston and moved in with ym girlfriend. And just down there block there was this mexican grill... Scared of the city I knew almost no one in I'm happy to say Qudoba quick became a very good friend of mine. Luckily when I move back to NJ I found another one.

I have a members and ever 11th meal is free and I can't tell you how much money that has saved me. I put your burrito count to shame.

cheers!

Katie said...

Ahhhh lolololol you are too friggen' hilarious! I can't even leave a sensing comment because I too busy re-reading and cracking up at your lover story.

Okay, don't flatter yourself too much though because you may or may not actually be that funny. It is very possible that I'm deliriously tired after waking up at 2am eastern time to catch a flight to Colorado for family stuff concerning my Grandma's death last month...and it is now almost 11pm mountain time...so yeah. Math is lame but I've been awake for too many hours. Thanks for the laugh anyways though. Much needed, especially today. :)

Okay again, judging by everyone elses' comments, you really are that funny. Keep on keepin' on. What does that mean? Um interpret as you wish. I need sleep. Good night!

thatothergrace said...

Haha that was hillariousm I've only had chipolte one, because there isn't on near me, but I choose it because you talk so much about it. :)

Today I saw- all four seasons of dvd box set of Doctor Who. I wanted to buy them so bad.
Today I heard- my sister singing along to my uke playing.
Today I touched - the dvd box set of doctor who. I had to at least hold it.
Today I tasted- samples from costco. Lots of samples. :)
Today I smelled- ummm, the samples from costco?

Anonymous said...

Blahhhh Hayley noooo I have to admit that made me a bit sad.

I don't get what it is about you 5AG barely ever saying anything about your boyfriends. It doesn't have to be an annoyingly swooning level just...something.

Oh well...I guess I will never get my wish of being a little bit closer to girls I wish I could be friends with, of girls who have impossibly amazing lives thanks to an internet website, and girls that I am so jealous of it makes me kind of hate my life sometimes.

alimarie_11 said...

Today, I saw: Quite a few shootings stars on the roof of my van, with my boyfriend

Today, I heard: chirping bugs, and the hum of speeding cars

Today, I smelled: The gross air outside my house

Today, I touched: the soft earth as I cartwheeled across my back yard

Today, I tasted: Broccoli and Cheese with almondmilk!
yum-o

Anonymous said...

HAYLEY, I THOUGHT YOU HAD BEEN LYING FOR FOUR YEARS.

AND THEN AND THEN I THOUGHT THAT MIKE HAD BEEN THAT MEAN GUY WHO WAS A LONG DISTANCE DOUCHE WHEN YOU WERE IN HIGH SCHOOL ALL ALONG AND UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH,

DON'T DO THAT.
NOW I'M HUNGRY.

Anna M. said...

So I read this 3 times.
The first time thinking it was about Mike of course.
The second time knowing it was Chipotle.
The third time just because it was so damn funny.
XD thank you for that

BenCracknell said...

Hayley, you little trickster, you. I didn't think it sounded right when you said he was thirteen. But you had me going, nonetheless.

Have a great day!
Ben
<3

Madeleine said...

Good lord, I'm crying from laughing! Once I realized what you were talking about I had to go back and read the survey again. It just made it all the funnier =]

Pevensie said...

Yay for Elizabethown quotage.
And your hair salon description for 'today, I heard' actually made me say 'Yes! Oh mylanta, that is spot on!' out loud.

I avoid hairdressers and having scissors working mysteriously behind my head but i recently got my locks lopped and THAT WAS EXACTLY WHAT IT WAS LIKE!

Yeah, cool.

Jenni said...

Today, I saw: a large amount of fireworks at a local firework competition
Today, I heard: said fireworks. I love that you really notice the difference between the speed of light and speed of sound during firework displays *is a nerd*
Today, I smelled: my friend :L He gave me a hug and I happened to notice he smelt very nice, haha.
Today, I touched: my other friend as we huddled together in the cold (who said it was August? Damn English weather) and he was clever enough to bring a blanket that he let me share with him :)
Today, I tasted: chips from the fast food vans you get at carnivals and stuff... you know, the ridiculously salty ones :L

Victoria said...

Today, I saw: how lovely it looks outside! Seriously, it's so nice.
Today, I heard: my puppies playing with each other. They sounded like little piglets, it was adorable.
Today, I smelled: a cup of tea brewing.
Today, I touched: my highschool gym shorts. Yeah.
Today, I tasted: a very yummy fruit medley with strawberries, cantaloupe, watermelon, grapes and blueberries. Mmm!

Niki said...

Today, I saw: The episode of Boy Meets World where Cory is afraid to kiss Topanga at the party. Ahh, memories.
Today, I heard: My dad go through all the ringtones multiple times on his new cell phone.
Today, I smelled: Summer Berry Vanilla or whatever it's called by Bath and Body Works. HEAVEN.
Today, I touched: my soft newly shaven legs.
Today, I tasted: Summer Berry Vanilla body wash. It doesn't taste good.

Wiiliam said...

Today, I saw a collection of mementos collected and given to me displayed on a wall, similar to that of charlieissocoollike, and thought to myself, "I need to hang out with more guys..."

Today, I heard this absolutely beautiful and enchanting song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OfhhWA9GF0M and realized how blessed the world is to have had this child in it.

Today, I smelled an equally tantalizing and revolting hybrid of scents in between Abercrombie and Fitch and Chiptole downtown.

Today, I touched brand new 300 thread count cotton atop my mattress.

Today, I tasted pure defeat as I repeatedly attempted to mount a sculpture of a Humpback Whale at the park and eventually toppled over.

JulGra said...

Today, I saw: And adorable little girl walk around the museum all day in an alligator costume, complete with tail and all.
Today, I heard: A seven year old explain to me that since I was a grown-up (I'm 15) that I knew everything.
Today, I smelled: Paint. Lots of it.
Today, I ACCIDENTALLY touched: Silly bands covered in a mysterious liquid, which I later determined was spit, courtesy of a bored six year old.
Today, I tasted: Coconut. This, too, was an accident, as I was eating crumb donuts and was not aware that they had coconut on them. I don't like coconut.

If you can't tell, I volunteered at museum summer camps this week and spent all day with 6-7 year olds.

Arletta said...

My home town if getting its first Chipotle. Ironically enough, I'm moving to another city that already has one and is where I first tried it.

RAYCHALL. said...

Probably a tribute to how little sleep I've had recently that it took me FOREVER to get the joke. Oh Hayley you witty bean you.


Today, I saw: Sonic Boom Six (my favourite band) plating a venue in my crappy small town that they are way too big a band for. Amazing <3
Today, I heard: the lead singer of the band singing several lines directly to me and myself booming out across the amps as they gave me the mic briefly.
Today, I smelled: the horrible dead smell of a bunch of teenagers who have been camping in a field full of cow poo.
Today, I touched: too much of aforementioned cow poo :/
Today, I tasted: spaghetti on toast. Ultimate night before cure :)

jenibo said...

Hayley!
I went back a year in your blog to get blogging ideas for my own (I have a month-long case of writer's block... bad time for BEDA!), and I read that you dyed your hair then, too! So, is it like an August 12th tradition, or something? :}

Samantha Nyx said...

I'll admit it: I was thoroughly confused, and I rofl'd when I read the next paragraph. :)

kira902k said...

I need to see more pictures/videos of your hair, in good lighting before I can really judge it, but it looks nice from what I've seen. :)

and this blog made me laugh a lot. You're hilarious. And I dont even know what Chipotle tastes like, but I crave it.