Sunday, August 8, 2010

Hate vs. Negative Feedback

The only downside to having a whole cast of extremely smart and interesting friends-- most of whom post their intellectual musings on the internet for a living-- is that sometimes it's like, why bother? I'm currently talking to John Green on Skype about the future (and present) of the book business, and about his future, and about mine. And not that you need more convincing, but good God. That man is so fascinating and thoughtful and cool that I feel a little silly even trying. I understand that he's a good thirteen years older than I am, and that his writing and speaking abilities have grown significantly since he was my age, but still. Do you think I'll ever be on his level? Don't answer that. If you say yes, I'll think you're lying, and if you say no, it'll hurt my feelings.

Oh! Speaking of hurt feelings, I wanted to touch on something different. My dear friend and bitter enemy*, Kristina, blogged today about the act of receiving negative feedback. She talks about the difference between Hate and Negative Comments. Hate is "u r fag"; Negative Comments are "You know, I usually respect you a lot, but I think this is terrible." Kristina mentions that Hate used to bother her in the early days of youtube, because it naturally sucks to hear that your eyebrows are hideous or that you've gained weight, but that mean comments from people who are actually invested in who you are and what you have to say are the ones that are really, really hurtful.

Somehow, I've been blessed with some of the world's sweetest and most understanding readers and viewers-- it's a very rare occasion that I'll go online and have my feelings hurt. I mean, I still receive comments and messages that are painful to read from time to time, but it's not nearly as often as some people have to endure.

One thing that puts me at a particular risk, however, is the fact that me and Kristina aren't peddling characters. Sure, we act a certain way on camera, and sometimes we present more polished, more silly, or more politically correct versions of ourselves. But more or less, what you see from us is a representation of who we really are. And, I'm not going to speak for my friend, but as far as my blog is concerned, this is pure, unadulterated me. There's not a whole lot that I censor from you guys. Therefore, on the super-mega-ultra-rare occasions that a blog comment is less than supportive-- or even just expressing some disapproval at something I've said or done-- it burns a hell of a lot more than "u r a fag."

I'm not writing this tonight for any particular reason-- I can count on one hand the blog comments I've acquired in over a year that have stung enough to be remembered, and none of them have happened recently-- but I thought Kristina's blog post was interesting, and I felt compelled to... do a less-satisfying job of raising all the same points on a narrow topic... to a mostly identical audience. I don't know.

Anyway, what about you guys? Do you encounter issues like this in your internet endeavors? Or what about in real life? Ever get a bad grade on a paper in your best subject, and feel totally defeated, whereas a similar grade on something else wouldn't have mattered? I'm looking forward to reading your responses. (Except for the fact that, like my first paragraph about John Green, you often put me to shame by being more eloquent, funny, and creative in your comments than I am in my actual blog. Bitches.) On that note, on to the sensing!

Today, I saw: this bag. I got it for school. It's even cuter in person!
Today, I heard: this song, on repeat, as part of my [no longer] secret iTunes playlist entitled "Slutty Music," which I listen to from time to time in order to live vicariously through fictional characters, since my life is much purer and much more boring.
Today, I touched: the somewhat feministic history book I mentioned in yesterday's post, which is actually really enjoyable so far. Because of this, I spent a chunk of my afternoon researching Penelope, the wife of Odysseus, and falling desperately in love with her.
Today, I smelled: cheesecake, made by my friend Lor. It was beautiful, but I'd just eaten Chipotle, and therefore REFUSED a piece. Did you hear that? I refused CHEESECAKE. Who am I!?
Today, I tasted: spicy vegetarian sushi from Whole Foods. Mmmm.

I apologize, once again, for the lack of paragraph-to-paragraph continuity in this post. You're serious troopers for sticking with me sometimes, guys. Feel free to comment with your Daily Senses, or with input on the Hate vs. Negativity discussion, or neither or both. I'm looking forward to hearing what some of you have to say, and I hope you all have a lovely Monday. See you tomorrow night!

Chipotle burritos this year: 23
Subscribers: 32,478
Nail color: "Rogue Vogue," Maybelline (discontinued)

*No, not really.


Katie said...

I think what hurts me more than negative feedback is no feedback at all. I can't really say that in reference to YouTube videos because I don't really make any...but IRL I'd rather hear someone say something to me that may sting a little, as opposed to me never knowing and thinking everything was just dandy. I hope that makes sense. I guess I say this because lately I've felt like my friends and I are all growing up and apart, and I hear less and less from the majority of them. I commented on one of your blogs last week about a mini high school reunion trip to the zoo, and I invited 30+ people to join and didn't even hear back from about 20 of them. That stung a bit.

Today, I saw an empty bird's nest in my mailbox after checking on some baby birdies that had been hatched and growing there. I hope they learned how to fly and leave the nest, and a cat didn't finally find their cleverly hidden home!
Today, I heard a ton of stupidly funny quotes while seeing the movie The Other Guys.
Today, I touched my computer keyboard for the first time in a few days.
Today, I smelled chlorine while skimming the pool and adding the chlorine to the water.
Today, I tasted a KFC famous bowl as my first attempt at semi-solid food after having my wisdom teeth extracted on Friday. My cheeks are still chipmunk-y swollen and poofy. At least it's amusing!

Jess said...

Well, I have a heck of a story for the whole "bad grade on assignment and feel totally defeated" story. Sort of different than what you were asking, but this was the first thing that came to my mind.

Third grade. I'm still going to my private Catholic elementary school. I get sick, but not dying sick, but still too sick to go to school for a week. But my mom has to go to Tokyo for that same week, and I have to stay with my dad, at his house, a half an hour away from where I normally live.

Meanwhile, my dad's dog, Diva, who I've loved since we got her when I was five, is deathly ill. We have to put her down, and it's my first time dealing with death. Not only that, but I have to deal with watching our puppy, Rocco, wander around the house aimlessly, looking for his best friend/older sister. I recover from my illness, but can't face going back to school.

My mom returns to America; I head back to school. I've missed a lot, apparently. My teacher has no sympathy for me when I return, and tells me to get over it and that she won't deal with any outbursts of crying. She forces me to take a test along with everyone else, even though I've completely missed all of the lessons. I obviously fail miserably. I was notoriously the head of the class, and my teacher was shocked at my grade. So shocked that she thought it would be fine to announce it to the entire class.

And that's my story. It sounds ridiculous and made up, I know. But it honestly still makes me cry when I think about how I was treated at that school. And I was one of the "gems." No wonder my parents started thinking about public school after that.

That was depressing. Sorry. As far as the hater comments go, I wrote a blog post about it today, which is much more upbeat :)

Jenny said...

Today I saw: my dad carry a red squirell in a havahart trap.
Today I heard: a lot of meekakitty videos.
Today I touched: a baby spider I found in my room.
Today I smelled: burning mozzarella stick crumbs.
Today I tasted: said mozzarella sticks.

I don't really have an opinion on hateful or negative comments, because I haven't ever gotten a comment. But, I can imagine they get annoying.

Catherine said...

I can totally get behind the Hate vs. Negative feedback. Even though I don't experience it on the internet, it's definitely something I can relate to IRL. "dyke" has gotten thrown my way a time or two, but it hurts the most when people who I had considered my friends are saying it.

(Even though you asked us not to answer, I think you'd be just as kick-ass as John Green.)

Whimsy said...

Today, I saw: My 69 year old grandma wave a sparkler around.

Today, I heard: My sister singing along to my guitar playing.

Today, I touched: Soft grass between my toes.

Today, I smelled: Corn steaming on the stove...corn burning on the stove.

Today, I tasted: Broccoli Cheddar quiche. So. Good.


The Vagabond said...

I kind of posted this same thing on Kristina's post but you probably didn't read that so whatevah. I don't vlog so I don't have to deal personally with the haters and negative comments but I do tend to get rather fired up if a negative and just plain stupid comment is left on a video that I liked or a video of a person who i respect. That being said the only "negative" feedback I receive is no feedback at all. Maybe I'm putting too much stock into what the internet thinks of me (probably a bad idea) but when you put something out there that you've worked hard on, like a video that you've spent hours editing, or a blog post that you've taken the time to type out and no one comments or cares, that's when it sucks. I guess it basically means no one really gives a shit. And I like people to give a shit, ya know? Once in a while at least.

Stefan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Stefan said...

I often find the thing with the most talented people is that they discover a piece of truth that no one else has discovered. So you get two talented people in the same room who are both super stars and you realize neither is on a higher level. They are both are on their own level.

I think we all just hope you find your own level where you can own a bit of your own truth. Cause truth is where the best fiction comes from.

my ability to form sentences is almost debilitation.

Tessa said...

Do the excessively-complimentary ones ever feel weird, or are they just nice to hear? Sometimes I think it would be easier to get a bad one and be like, "they're stupid, I'm awesome," than to get a super good one and feel like you always have to live up to being the "coolest most wonderful human being alive ever," or whatever.

Regarding your level versus Juan Verde's, I'm not really sure it's about levels. You know how Jaclyn Moriarty's* books sound nothing at all like John Green's? But how you would be very sad if you didn't know about either of them? JG has a very specific way of talking about things, and although your way is different, I think both ways are equally important. It is probably hard not to worry about this, but do not. Your way means something.

*(Also, I just read and loved Secret Assignments, so thanks for that.)

kyle said...

I think the more creatively-inclined your internet presence is, the more likely it is you'll receive negative feedback. Which can also be construed as pithy constructive criticism if you're enough of an optimist. That said, I tend not to do much that's really creative, and so I don't get a lot of negative feedback.

-Saw: a cockroach in my apartment. I tried to duct tape him in a box but killed him in the process :(
-Touched: aforementioned cockroach as I had to peel him off the box because my roommate told me to get rid of him.
-Heard: "Amazing Horse" - the extended version. Hell yeah.
-Tasted: Peanut butter + cinnamon toast.
-Smelled: Toast toasting in a toaster oven.

pickles4muggles said...

Ugh negative feedback. It does suck every time, ESPECIALLY when you worked really hard on something. Sometimes I'll defend myself against whatever the person said, and then it ends up backfiring.

I love reading your senses! that bag is ADORBS

moremorgan said...

To me a hateful comment is like a feather in the wind, it may brush up against you, but it really doesn't sting. A negative comment, however, is always aimed to hurt, belittle, and stick. Give me hate over negative any day.

Today I saw my sister carry a tarantula in her Wellington boot.

Today I heard a cheesy declaration of love in the movie Wild Child. [I watched it back to back on ABC Family(: becuase I'm cool like that]

Today I touched the luke warm water as I laid down during a shower. [Again because I'm cool/lazy like that]

Today I smelled the laundry as it came out of the dryer.

Today I tasted the loveliness that is a red chile enchilada.

justjustine said...

I don't really have any helpful input on hate comments, as I've never really posted anything that's got enough attention that it's been hated on, but I actually really like when people stand up for themselves against the haters - the haters usually get schooled. (You probably know that) Lauren does this a lot, and I'm just like, "You go, girl!"

Today, I saw really pretty cloud formations, with legit silver linings where the sun was peaking out. (Sorry if you don't like the word 'legit' - I do!)
Today, I heard my brother and his best friend talk loudly and excitedly about things ranging from Yugioh to Tiger Woods to strange Japanese YouTube videos.
Today, I touched a roll of film while I wrestled with my dad's 35 mm camera, trying to figure out how to load it.
Today, I smelled outdoorsy-ness.
Today, I tasted a salad made primarily out of refried beans, rice, cheese, and shredded lettuce, courtesy of Taco Bell. And since I was enjoying Mexican fast food, I felt that much closer to Hayleyghoover. XD

Anonymous said...

Today I saw: The Book of Eli which I adored.
Today I heard: My mother's voice of concern. It's so strange how she can read me so well. She might be one of the only people who can read my emotions.
Today I touched: School supplies. Yuck. Just looking at the bright and shiny section of back to school stuff at Target made me want to hide in my room with my laptop and headphones.
Today I smelled: The extreme mintyness of my shampoo. That also got in my eye, which is never a good thing.
Today I tasted: Chunky Monkey ice cream from Ben&Jerrys. Yum yum yummy.

Marshmallow Dreamer said...

Today I SAW: The most beautiful cerese pink and bright orange sunrise I've seen in a long time
Today I HEARD: The screams of 20 teenagers on a fairground ride as they were hurtled in every direction at the speed of sound*
Today I TOUCHED: A piece of rubbish which someone had thrown at me for no reason in the cinema
Today I SMELLED: The fresh sea air as I sat and watched fireworks light up the night sky
Today I TASTED: The wonderful, salty, buttery, utterly mouthwateringly delicious taste of cinema popcorn. Oh my god, yes.

Snottlebie said...

I'd say getting no comments at all or no feedback, is pretty hurtful. Like a prior commentor said, we want people to care about something we've put a lot of effort into. Plus, my mind tends to think if there's no comments at all, whatever I was working on sucked.

Also, negative comments always hurt a lot more than hateful comments. It's comparable to how much more it hurts when your best friend hurls you an insult than a random stranger.

But rock.

tranquilily said...

Today I saw: a tree that looked like the whomping willow
heard: pop music on my drive back to school
smelled: fresh summer air
tasted: wayyyy too much food at my family reunion
touched: Scrabble letters

kira902k said...

As you said, you're basically talking to the same audience as Kristina about the hate/negative comments. And I'm not in the mood to retype what I said there. :P
But yeah, I've only ever received hater comments, no negative comments yet. And I just laugh them off and move on. I feel like a truly negative comment would hurt a lot though. :(

Today, I saw (and rode)the scariest looking roller coaster I've ever seen: it went over water, almost dropping you into it at one point.
Today, I heard an excessive amount of profanity. People at amusement parks are /really/ trashy.
Today I touched a delicious pizza, that i'd been craving for a very long time.
Today I tasted a delicious salad my dad had made, with eggs and chicken, and vinaigrette with garlic and and and *drools*

anna said...

You'll probably think I'm lying but on many occasions I read your blog and think "Hayley is like a younger female John Green". For realsies.

As for bad grade defeated-ness: I will always remember senior year in AP Lit when I read every single freakin' novel/short story while literally one other person in the class did. And then I got Cs on multiple essays while I watched my friends/classmates receive A after A after A, having read nothing & continually asking me to explain the plot/characters for class discussion. The worst part was I enjoyed reading the books and still got the shaft.

Sarawkweird said...

I know exactly, exactly, exactly what you mean when you said "why bother?" Exactly. Being a part of the HP fandom makes it feel like EVERY DAMN PERSON AROUND YOU wants to be a writer. And then being enrolled in a creative writing major just makes it all the worse, because literally every person around you wants to be a writer too. So why bother? Who am I to a assume that I am good enough to compete with all these people? :(

Corinne said...

You know I pretty much always agree with the things you write in your blog except for one massive exception. Every time you degrade yourself or apologize for something you write I sigh and roll my eyes. It's really the only content you've ever written that I don't enjoy reading. Everything you write is awesome and it's laughable how untrue you are every time you say something along the lines of "sorry this post sucked". You really have nothing to apologize for. I hope this isn't to harsh, and keeping yourself honest is totally acceptable, I just think you should cut down on the self-deprecating comments.

Melody said...

I can't imagine that getting "u r a fag" on a video would hurt me very much, but I have had a few comments on my videos along the lines of "u r a fat ugly bitch and nobody cares about u." I'm ashamed to admit it, but a few months ago, I had one such commenter visit three of my videos, and I kind of... cried for an hour.

It wasn't the commenter that mattered to me--It was the fact that other people, maybe lots of other people, might share that opinion. People don't call me fat or ugly in real life, but the fact that people have on the Internet means that some people think it.

Mehh, I forget where I was going with this. Happy thoughts! Today was a good day. :)

Tara said...

Today, I saw: My Big Fat Greek Wedding- who can't love that movie?
Today, I heard: a kesha song and turned the radio off.
Today, I touched:My best friend who gives the best hugs at the most welcome time.
Today, I smelled: The dog we dog sat for, for the very last time :(
Today, I tasted: chocolate :)

Amy said...

My whole life drama and creative writing have been my thing. I won competitions when I was in primary school, performed carols and self-written skits for my family at christmas and was basically the most precociously obnoxious kid you could ever hope to smile blankly and nod at.
But something changed in high-school. I had never learnt how to try so when other, possibly less natural, writers and performers began to catch up to me I couldn't stop them from leaving me behind as I hung back.
Four times in the past couple of months my mother or a friend has sent me a link to a short-story or poetry competition and I haven't entered it.
Twice I have been sent or shown an advertisement for auditions for an amateur theatre company and I haven't signed up.
I hate to be so melodramatic but I know that I'm too scared to try.
I know I'm not the best anymore but I don't want that proven to me.

I meant that to relate on the whole "bad grade in a favoured subject" and went off on a very odd tangent. . . if you squint and tilt your head a bit it sort of relates

Today I saw: A dishevelled young man in my lecture turn around in his seat, place his head down on the desk behind him and go to sleep.
Today I heard: Myself falling to pieces in the face of an esteemed guest tutor asking me what I wanted to do with my degree.
Today I touched: My friends nose in an awkward manner as a way of saying goodbye.
Today I smelled: The thick and spiced smell of a man sweating buckets, despite the barrier of deodorant put in place.
Today I tasted: Two chicken sandwiches, each from a different cafe. The first one was better. It was toasted.

Leah said...

I know this is completely the wrong thing to take away from this post-- which was thoughtful and adorable and I love you-- but. "One thing that puts me at a particular risk, however, is the fact that me and Kristina aren't peddling characters."


This has been your weekly dose of Leah pretension.

Today I
Saw: two bunnies! I went on a walk* and there they were, in someone's yard! Adorable.
Smelled: sizzling onions and peppers as I prepared a week's worth of lunches. SO GOOD.
Touched: a Serious Knife as I chopped said onions and peppers.
Heard: my parents fight with my sister a whole fucking lot. Exhausting.
Tasted: a really magnificent homemade brunch, including fried tomatoes and hash browns.

* read: was forced to go on a mandatory lap around the block with my parents

Sarah Mowrey said...

First of all. I love this. I love you, I love your brain.

Second of all. I totally understand what you mean and I've been starting to say this more places but I wish youtube had more of a constructive criticism culture than positive/negative, you know?
("culture." Who is this douchebag writing this comment, oh that's me, Sarah.)

I think negative comments would sting less if they were backed up, you know? Like, "maybe this is the sort of thing you could improve upon and here's the stuff I did like." Then, is that just a different kind of burn? I sincerely hope not. Lately, I've been so wishing for people to tell me the things that annoy them about my videos and how they'd like me to improve. I'm sure I'm saying that with a grain of salt because with too many differing opinions I think I (or anyone) would be likely to lose themselves in it.

As for being more ELOQUENT funny/creative, I am not. Least of all in my comments to your blogs. Also i'm really lazy at commenting on your blogs... heh.. GREAT FRIEND SARAH...

Also today I saw and bought THIS BAG: (okay so it was yesterday night...)
Does it gimme hipster cred, i dunnoooo?

Wombat said...

First of all, I am INSANELY JEALOUS that you get to skype with John Green! He always has so much worthwhile stuff to say in his videos and blogtv stuff that I just want to TALK to him. And you get to. BUT. I can understand how that experience would make you feel a well. I think you're making good progress toward being as awesome as he is at his age though...and I'm not lying.

Hate and negative feedback both suck.

Niki. said...

Today, I saw: a little girl in a pink dress carrying a Hello Kitty book... thing... around at the grocery store, as she sang a song from some Disney movie.
Today, I heard: ALL CAPS music. =].
Today, I touched: ...the keys on my laptop keyboard... 'cause that's the most interesting answer I can think of at the moment... -___-.
Today, I smelled: cinnamon rolls, or something that smelled a lot like them, at the grocery store.
Today, I tasted: an Andes chocolate mint.

I'm kind of overly sensitive, so, I don't take negative feedback of any sort too well... kind of... but, then again, I don't put a lot out there that has the potential to be criticized or anything, haha.

Kelly said...


You shouldn't compare yourself to John Green. Writing isn't like most professions. A young surgeon-in-training might aspire to be just like an older, more experienced surgeon, but writing is different. It doesn't come from simply learning and mimicking techniques. A young writer can't become just like the writer she admires, she has to grow into her own kind of writer. I don't know if that made sense. But I feel absolutely confident that you will become a professional writer who is respected by not only your readers, but also yourself. In fact, I would say that you've already won the respect of your readers (John Green included), so really all you have to work on is growing into the writer you're meant to become. That was a little rambling and long-winded. In a nutshell: Don't feel like you have to become John Green. Simply become the best Hayley Hoover you can.

And also, don't let the haters get you down.


Krazy_4_Kelly said...

Haha I think you're right on you and Kristina having almost identical audiences xD but whatever, I'm going to post a slightly different view on the topic here.

I think you bringing up the bad grade on your best subject was interesting and got me thinking of the worst comment ever that my dad said to me multiple times growing up that still gets me angry and makes me rethink my plans. I've always known I wanted to be a psychologist and my dad always used to say to me, whenever I was mad, that if I can't fix my own life how the heck did I expect to be successful as a therapist. This pisses me off in many ways whereas if anyone else says this to me, which people do quite a lot, it doesn't affect me to much. The trick was that it was my dad saying it from knowing how much I loved psych and how good a therapist I thought I could be. So I believe as both you and Kristina have explained much better than me that negative comments from those who know you is more difficult than "ur gay" comments.

Two more points: 1. I hope you realize how jealous we all collectively got from reading "I was talking with John Green on skype." whether we think you'll ever reach John's status to me is a question wrongly asked. Why would he choose to talk to you if he didn't see potential? You have talent and those who you respect see it which is truly a gift. (also I personally believe I will have books written by Hayley Hoover on my bookshelf at some point in the future)
2. Contests on saying no to cheesecake!
3. I generally hate purses but that bag is adorable
4. I hope you have a great day tomorrow, Hayley :)

Anonymous said...

I think you and Kristina bring up good points, but I think what both of you failed to mentioned was constructive criticism. It just seems to me, from an outside perspective, that anytime a Youtuber gets a comment that isn't along the lines of "You're awesome" or "best video ever" it's simply brushed off as being a hater or negative. Maybe I'm completey wrong here, but it just seems wrong that you would turn a blind eye to people who may have a suggestion or something like that. However, I'm not naive. I know that the majority of negative or hater comments is unproductive and spiteful. All I'm saying is don't dismiss every comment that isn't praising you as being negative. Maybe I'm stating the obvious here. I don't know.

That being said, I'm not insinuating that you don't know how to take criticism or that you're arrogant in any way. I think you're a wonderful and witty writer, and a great, hilarious, and entertaining vlogger.

This is a much longer comment than I anticipated. I just wanted to give my opinion. I've been reading your blog from the beginning but this is my first time commenting, so I hope I haven't offended you in any way; sincere apologies if I have.

Sarah Bonilla said...

Today I saw: shutter Island, while explaining everything to my sister because she didn't trust my recommendation of the film. She paused every fwminutes to tell me how horrible my taste was.

I heard: My mom sign at the head of the church, Salsa dancing for the Lord

I smelled: fresh, handmade pasta and meatballs.

I touched: the brink of insanity. My insomnia couaght up with me and I crashed this afteroon

I tasted: Too many slices of pizza.

BenCracknell said...

Because I'm not at all anything important on Youtube, I've never had to deal with hater comments. I kept on thinking, 'how can they be as bad as people make them out to be? Just ignore them.' But when you compared it to getting a bad grade in your favourite subject, it hit me.

We're all literary people here, so I can say this without sounding big headed. I'm so used to getting A*s on my English coursework. Every time I get a paper back my heart does a little dance that I wont get AT LEAST an A, but I always do. I've had absolutely awful and SO believable dreams where I'll get a B, and I wake up sweating and on the edge of tears. Negative comments would be hard to deal with, I think, but I could easily do my best to ignore Hater comments.

Have a great day, you wonderfully spectacular and talented person.

Have a great day!

PS, You know you said how John Green was able to put things across in a totally different way but still have it make total sense? Well, Hayley, you just did that for me, so YES, YES YES YES I think YOU WILL BE ON JOHN GREEN'S LEVEL!

MELANIE. said...

Are you kidding? I think you a whole lot better than a lot of the writers out there now. Really.

Also, if you like Penelope, I recommend The Penelopiad by Margaret Atwood; it's all about her and how she lived while Odysseus was away at see. It's really interesting and totally captivating. Read it! Read it because I'm going to read Second Helpings because you recommended Jessica Darling to me!

mike said...

I think on some levels that I prefer negative feedback to hate. At least then I can step back, calmly disagree, and move on. With baseless hate, I don't know, maybe I'm offended that someone didn't take the time to form a semi-decent critique. I'd imagine it wouldn't take a lot of time to do so.

I saw: A friend I had not seen in a while - twice. It was totally awkward both times.
I heard: an annoying amount of static on my car radio.
I touched: the horribly grimy disused curtain that I use to protect my car's windscreen from frost.
I tasted: cheap but incredibly filling supermarket pizza-bread.

Petal said...

Today I saw: my new baby niece sneeze milk into my older brother's was hilarious. :P

Today I heard: what my mum thought was her private conversation with aforementioned older brother.

Today I touched: my baby niece who is 9 weeks and tiny due to being 3 months premature. She's beautiful and looks absolutely normal; just like a minature version of a full-term baby.

Today I smelled: My sister's perfume that was left on my sheets from when she woke me up this morning with a hug. It was nice, because she's gone back home to London, which is about 150 miles from where I live. Luckily, I get to see her on the 28th because she bought me tickets to see Les Mis :D

Today I tasted: my mum's roast chicked and dauphinois potatoes. Delicious :D

Jenni said...

I don't really post much on the internet. But any feedback gets to me. I'm probably just over sensitive and need to get a thicker skin (which I would imagine would happen if I posted more stuff and got more responses) But yes, the thing you mentioned about grades... I got a C in something, which isn't a bad grade, but I got really upset about it cos I was aiming for an A :/

Today I saw: the blurry page as I finished reading The Time Travelers Wife through tears...
Today I heard: loads of random songs, I put my entire iTunes library on shuffle!
Today I touched: a lot of clutter in my room as I attempted to tidy up...
Today I smelled: The wonderful smell of my mum cooking stew
Today I tasted: a Mars bar (or 2 D:) for breakfast cos I was hungry and there was nothing else to eat..

Jenni said...

Also, as a commenter I would feel bad being critical of what the poster had said or done so I just wouldn't post a negative comment. Usually I am following the person because I respect them or like what they post regularly so it wouldn't make sense to then criticise them. Plus it must take guts to post so much personal stuff online so what gives me the right to have a go?

Lauren said...

My cousin Penelope is named after her.
And I forgive you for not eating my cheesecake.

Rosianna said...

a. Your line about refusing cheesecake made me crave cheesecake. GRRRRR.
b. I think I'm the same when it comes to hate vs. negative feedback - originally the "ur nose is huge nd ur face is fat nd ure accent is winy nd why do u even bother?!?!?!one!!22!!" comments used to hurt so much. Until you realise that these are people who just are passing through and who really pay you no attention, so why should you pay them any attention. But the comments I find hardest are, as you & Kristina said, when people are invested in your videos and then say that they hated something or that they're disappointed. The worst thing is when two people have conflicting views, for example when someone says, "I love your long videos, your videos are so short and generic now!" and other people say, "I love your short videos, these are long and quite boring!" And then you realise you can't please everyone. Darn.
c. is for cheesecake
d. I know you didn't want us to respond to this part, but I absolutely adore the way you write, and the way you think - or at least that much of it which is manifested in your blog and your videos, which I think is probably how you really are? Anyway, you won't believe me, but yes, I do think you will be and to a certain extent you already are. SO THERE.

Now I have to go and meet a friend for a cup of tea... and cheesecake.

Ida Ruda said...

In a sea of positive comments, especially when it is something you're passionate about, I can agree that one negative comment can make you feel defeated. Like we learn in physics, it takes a lot of energy to go up a hill, but hardly any to make us fall down.

But I think I have an easier time accepting negative comments than positive comments that don't seem sincere. I would love to be someone who can take a compliment and feel better about myself for it, but that rarely happens. Is it because I have trust issues? Possibly. Is it because I'm normal teenager. Probably.

As for your writing Hayley, no flattery intended, you are one of my favorite authors.

Anonymous said...

I know it's a problem, but I genuinely find it so hard to cope with negative feedback. Even stupid hater comments get to me. I'm a terribly insecure person about almost everything so one tiny comment can make me feel crap for weeks. I need to learn to focus on the stuff that actually matters, but it's difficult. I'll get there though.

Today, I saw: a program about Amish teenagers staying in England. Amish getting drunk? Amuses me more than it should.
Today, I heard: the song Footloose on repeat. Watched the film too. Oh dear, the obsession has returned.
Today, I touched: disgustingly dirty washing up water.
Today, I smelled: nothing. My cold has returned with a vengeance.
Today, I tasted: roast dinner :) OMNOMNOM

KateyMatey said...

I know you told me not to answer, but I'm going to ignore you. Sorry about that.

For me personally, you're on the same level as John. You both make me see other sides to things, both give me fantastic ideas and both of you give me hope in humanity. John might be better with words, but I do believe that comes with age and confidence. When it comes down to it, you both do the same thing on the interwebs, inspire people.

I guess my thought is that you'll never see yourself on the same level as John because you'll always look up to him, so his level is unreachable in your head. But to others like myself and the people you know irl, you're just as awesome :)

(This comment made me realise how much of a comma whore I am. Goodness.)

Maggie said...

You probably cannot fathom this, but I love math. A lot. But last year my math teacher hated me. And because she was an evil bitch, she took her hatred out on my grade. I got a C in the class, which killed me, because it meant that I couldn't take a math class this upcoming year (small school, higher math, you start running out of options). But then I talked to administration and said "UP YOURS!"

And now I am preparing for AP Calc. So ha.

Anna said...

I think you just wanted to brag about Skype chatting with John Green :). I don't blame you, I'd be shouting it from the...err...well I wouldn't get on my roof to do it, but you know what I mean. But still, it's kind of cruel to flaunt that kind of thing.

Rebecca said...

What hurts for me is that today I took my permit test twice and failed twice.I read the whole book.My friend (who passed her first time) literally read 5 pages.:(Sorry about that rant, please forgive me.

emily said...

You know it's funny about the whole John Green thing, because I have often envied your sense of humor and your charisma. I'm not even lying, it was so weird you said you looked up to John Green so much (who doesn't), since I totally admire YOUR eloquence:]

Kate said...

i have a serious question for you: which bothers you more?
u r a fag
your a fag.
i've been lucky enough to only have nice/constructive/funny comments thus far. but i only have like 80 subscribers so i don't think there's much chance for me to get hate.
plus anyone that leaves hate comments on your videos is OBVIOUSLY a decepticon.

Alice said...

I spent three weeks of this summer at an academic camp, where I took a class pretentiously titled: "The Critical Essay: Literature and the Arts." Over the session we have two symposiums where all the writing classes meet up and choose two pieces to share with the rest of the program. I worked really hard on my essay for the second symposium, edited, re-wrote, and I was proud of my product. My teachers gave me good feedback, but picked two other people for the symposium.

Allison said...

Hi Hayley!

I've been a long time lurker on your blog, but I finally decided to venture into the open today- that is, actually leaving a comment to signify my presence. Woohoo! :)

Anyway, about negative feedback. I've definitely had those moments with grades and whatnot, but what really came to mind was a passage out of Donald Miller's novel Blue Like Jazz (if you haven't read it, you should read it...immediately!). I think it's in one of his chapters about love that he discusses how scary it can be to open up to people- to pour a little of yourself out into the internet, to have a serious, heart to heart with someone, to bear your soul to a friend. If someone who doesn't know you all that well shrugs you off, it doesn't hurt, because at least they don't know the 'real you', right? But it's the people who you have opened up to that are the scary ones- because if they walk away or don't like what they've seen/heard from you, it goes a lot deeper.

It's like in my immature junior high days of dramatic roller coaster friendships and emerging hormones. If I'd lose touch with acquaintance-type friends, it wasn't a big deal, but if a close friend walks away...that's tough to get over.

Mike said...

ur a fag

Caroline said...

Your link to Out Tonight caused me to spend waay too much time watching Rent videos I've already seen. Best thing I could've done all day.

Your blogs make me happy (only when you're happy of course. Sad blogs make me sad.)

Anna M. said...

well before I get to the negative feedback stuff, I just want to say that Hayley, you're so funny and smart and OF COURSE you can reach that level. And I really hope you don't think I'm lying, because I'm not at all. Plus you already have an edge on everybody; you have freaking awesome resources. Not every writer has a kick-ass, successful writer to refer to. you're so lucky =]

as for negative feedback, I have this obsession with grades, so anything less than a B on assignments can get me upset. But this also kind of helps me because I am more motivated to work harder for that A. I'm very unsure of myself, so I usually take criticism very seriously and often change the way I do things if even just one person says they don't like it. Ok well this is your blog, not mine, so I'll stop here, but keeping being awesome Hayley

Anonymous said...

I dislike hate comments more than negative feedback. Negative feeback can sometimes result in a better video the next week, or improvement in writing. Hate is just unnecessary comments, ranting, or vanity.

Today I saw the most adorable small child on this planet. The roundest little face, an oversized baseball cap, and a disjointed run that was filled to the brim with determination, and was therefore adorable.
Today, I heard an amazing interview with Brian May on NPR, where he talked about Queen, Freddie's spirit of words, and forming a musical revolution.
Today, I touched my own hair, realizing how soft it is. (And how badly I need a haircut...)
Today, I smelled the wondrous scent of Garnier Fructis ColorSafe shampoo. It's my new drug, available every day in the shower!
Today, I tasted a Turkish Delight coffee. It tasted even better than usual because I got a discount. :)
Happy living, Haley and everyone!

kalimagination said...

I don't really make much of my life open to the public, so I don't get either hate or negative feedback from people I've never met in real life. And my friends are so fantastic, they somehow put a positive spin on anything they say to me that I could consider insulting. And if random people I don't know or don't care about say mean things about me, they almost never get back to me, and on the rare occasion they do, I just remember that they don't know really know me, despite the fact that they may think they do. Ah, commas. Making run-on sentences seem legitimate since *goes to do a Google search of when the comma was invented, realizes I don't care, and finishes comment*.

Yesterday, I saw: a very big dog chew up a very small, paper party hat. It was kind of adorable.
Yesterday, I heard: the voice of a friend I haven't talked to in awhile and we had a 3 minute conversation about NOW That's What I Call Music: 34.
Yesterday, I touched: a giant container of orange juice.
Yesterday, I smelled: the weird mixture of air freshener, wet towels, and Taco Bell in my car.
Yesterday, I tasted: delicious spaghetti that my mother made :)

Anonymous said...

YES I GET YOU GURL. When i get a bad grade in my best subject, although it seldom happens, it hurts soooo bad.
And you know what, hayley? You are intelligent, beautiful, talented, eloquent, funny, loveable, fascinating, and yes, John Green may be all of these and more but that is just because he is older and has more experience in mastering these adjectives. With time, you will only get better and more awesomer and make john and the rest of us proud.

Sarah said...

Only the other day (when I was listening, but not watching Johns most recent vlogbrothers video, where he goes back to high school)I thought: John sounds so much like how Hayley writes - or rather - Hayley writes so much like John speaks, if John was younger and a girl... (tehe)

I do agree with you that John is more experienced, etc etc (all the things that you wrote) but you are fantastic Hayley and that isn't a lie. Your writing is poetic, thoughtful, and image inspiring. Reading your blog posts is often like reading the first chapter of a novel, and I am often disappointed when it ends. <3

p.s cute bag! Jealous ^.^

Karen said...

I'm one of those people who will mark negative comments as spam when I see them on youtube videos, by negative comments I mean the ones with the bad grammar which serve no purpose other than to intend to put people down, It always makes me feel like I've achieved more than bothering to post a reply.

Today I saw: My parents come home from their holiday in Portugal...there goes the freedom of having the house to myself

Today I heard: The kids next door interrupting my nap on their trampoline, irritating pretending to be cheerleaders and not spelling any words right.

Today I touched: dirty dish water, I dont know what it is about dish water, i'll have ran the water myself, knowingly put in the dirty dishes and still freak out and feel queasy when occasionally come across bits of food and think its something gross that will undoubtedly be responsible for my untimely demise. I hope the dishwasher never breaks again!

Today I smelled: that new clothes smell when out shopping

Today I tasted: Yogurts I've not had since I was little, its weird how food can instantly remind you of bizarre memories of childhood

Hannah said...

Oh, Hayley. You never ever fail to make ne laugh. Thanks.

Today I saw: the never ending blue sky. It made me feel very small.
Today I heard: obnoxious music from the radio as I tried to nap in the back of a boat. (I can sleep anywhere.)
Today I touched: sunscreen-y skin. Gross.
Today I smelled: Chinese food. Yay.

Susie said...

Last year I got a B for the very first time on an English paper. I cried for hours. I regularly made Ds on math tests, but they never bothered me nearly as much as that B.

Today I saw: a wreck almost happen.
Today I heard: way too much country music.
Today I touched: lots of furniture, as I'm on the hunt for things for My First Apartment.
Today I smelled: an unfamiliar, slightly disconcerting scent inside of Big Lots.
Today I tasted: gooey, fudgy chocolate cake that was too rich to finish.

Cat said...

If you'd like to read more on Penelope, there's a book called The Penelopiad by Margaret Atwood. It was my summer reading and it's really good.

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