The only downside to having a whole cast of extremely smart and interesting friends-- most of whom post their intellectual musings on the internet for a living-- is that sometimes it's like, why bother? I'm currently talking to John Green on Skype about the future (and present) of the book business, and about his future, and about mine. And not that you need more convincing, but good God. That man is so fascinating and thoughtful and cool that I feel a little silly even trying. I understand that he's a good thirteen years older than I am, and that his writing and speaking abilities have grown significantly since he was my age, but still. Do you think I'll ever be on his level? Don't answer that. If you say yes, I'll think you're lying, and if you say no, it'll hurt my feelings.
Oh! Speaking of hurt feelings, I wanted to touch on something different. My dear friend and bitter enemy*, Kristina, blogged today about the act of receiving negative feedback. She talks about the difference between Hate and Negative Comments. Hate is "u r fag"; Negative Comments are "You know, I usually respect you a lot, but I think this is terrible." Kristina mentions that Hate used to bother her in the early days of youtube, because it naturally sucks to hear that your eyebrows are hideous or that you've gained weight, but that mean comments from people who are actually invested in who you are and what you have to say are the ones that are really, really hurtful.
Somehow, I've been blessed with some of the world's sweetest and most understanding readers and viewers-- it's a very rare occasion that I'll go online and have my feelings hurt. I mean, I still receive comments and messages that are painful to read from time to time, but it's not nearly as often as some people have to endure.
One thing that puts me at a particular risk, however, is the fact that me and Kristina aren't peddling characters. Sure, we act a certain way on camera, and sometimes we present more polished, more silly, or more politically correct versions of ourselves. But more or less, what you see from us is a representation of who we really are. And, I'm not going to speak for my friend, but as far as my blog is concerned, this is pure, unadulterated me. There's not a whole lot that I censor from you guys. Therefore, on the super-mega-ultra-rare occasions that a blog comment is less than supportive-- or even just expressing some disapproval at something I've said or done-- it burns a hell of a lot more than "u r a fag."
I'm not writing this tonight for any particular reason-- I can count on one hand the blog comments I've acquired in over a year that have stung enough to be remembered, and none of them have happened recently-- but I thought Kristina's blog post was interesting, and I felt compelled to... do a less-satisfying job of raising all the same points on a narrow topic... to a mostly identical audience. I don't know.
Anyway, what about you guys? Do you encounter issues like this in your internet endeavors? Or what about in real life? Ever get a bad grade on a paper in your best subject, and feel totally defeated, whereas a similar grade on something else wouldn't have mattered? I'm looking forward to reading your responses. (Except for the fact that, like my first paragraph about John Green, you often put me to shame by being more eloquent, funny, and creative in your comments than I am in my actual blog. Bitches.) On that note, on to the sensing!
Today, I saw: this bag. I got it for school. It's even cuter in person!
Today, I heard: this song, on repeat, as part of my [no longer] secret iTunes playlist entitled "Slutty Music," which I listen to from time to time in order to live vicariously through fictional characters, since my life is much purer and much more boring.
Today, I touched: the somewhat feministic history book I mentioned in yesterday's post, which is actually really enjoyable so far. Because of this, I spent a chunk of my afternoon researching Penelope, the wife of Odysseus, and falling desperately in love with her.
Today, I smelled: cheesecake, made by my friend Lor. It was beautiful, but I'd just eaten Chipotle, and therefore REFUSED a piece. Did you hear that? I refused CHEESECAKE. Who am I!?
Today, I tasted: spicy vegetarian sushi from Whole Foods. Mmmm.
I apologize, once again, for the lack of paragraph-to-paragraph continuity in this post. You're serious troopers for sticking with me sometimes, guys. Feel free to comment with your Daily Senses, or with input on the Hate vs. Negativity discussion, or neither or both. I'm looking forward to hearing what some of you have to say, and I hope you all have a lovely Monday. See you tomorrow night!
Chipotle burritos this year: 23
Nail color: "Rogue Vogue," Maybelline (discontinued)
*No, not really.