Kelly caught a fugitive!

My mother's making a scrapbook of my life for my graduation present. Although she shoos me away anytime I sneak a peek, at the end of the day she should know better than to conduct secret business in the middle of the kitchen. She's currently working on the pages for my school musicals, and the two of us just broke out into the Pippin finale. My mother and I are very different people, so when we have something in common (our love for theatre, our callings to work with abused children) I get kind of giddy. I like my mom.

In REALLY EXCITING NEWS, my sister sent me a text today, proclaiming, "I caught a fugitive!" I called to find out what was going on, and apparently she was sitting on her lawn at school and an escapee, dressed in his prison garb, ran past her. She called 911, and while it was still ringing, a cop pulled up next to her, chased the guy down the raggedy hill in Kelly's backyard, and tased the bro. She's quoted (sounding like the world's biggest ditz) on the front page of her city's news site.

"Ohio University students Courtney Walter and Kelly Hoover were busy studying outside their sorority house in Athens around 1 p.m. Tuesday, when they saw a man running down the street. 'I thought, Oh, somebody's late for class,' Hoover said. 'Then I'm like-- I think he's handcuffed!'"

So remember, kids: don't run past a sorority house next time you're handcuffed. One of 'em will talk to the press, sounding like a valley girl, and humiliate you further.

In youtubely news, I'm plotting a half-emo, half-funny video about recovering from breakups. I think it'll be a liberating experience for me, as well as a good outlet for the equally-scorned commenters. Also, Nikki (babyporridge) posted a new song, and, as expected, it's beyond beautiful. "Human condition says we're destined to be lonely, but maybe I don't want to be a part of this affliction," the song says. "I'd rather be destined to spend my life inspired." I want to be her.

Re: yesterday's blog commets, I have a few things to say: 1) Thank you, and 2) LOL. You guys are both hilarious and provide some good insights. The reason I trusted you, the blog readers, with in-depth information about my personal life... is because you're my favorites. Don't repeat that, but it's true. I think the hierarchy of how much I take input from strangers into consideration goes 1) blog readers, 2) twitter followers, 3) youtube subscribers, and 4) everyone else. You have to care about someone to bother reading their blogs. I therefore adore you. 

Re: yesterday's blog content: we'll see. And to Rufus, who asked what I'm going to do about prom, we're in luck-- the Boy and the Prom Date are the Same Person. :) OH, and I'm so sorry to anyone who clicked on the unsexy link yesterday. Y'all got what I've decided to call foot-rolled.

Sexy: Playing instruments. For one, passion and talent are always attractive, and it takes both to pursue learning to play. For two, the movements required to make noise come out of an instrument are similar to the movements required to make noise come out of a woman. (I'm sorry if my awkward pervy humor is catching some of you off guard. It's a pretty well-kept secret most of the time.)

Unsexy: Athletic shorts paired with nice shirts. Really, guys? Really?

Weight: 139

Chipotle burritos this year: 13

Subscribers: 15,635

Days left of high school: 19

Bye, guys! See you tomorrow. <3