Monday, April 13, 2009

I don't wanna.

I've come to the conclusion that I can only write for fun when I have something expressly more important to be doing. This afternoon, I've pumped out ten single-spaced pages of detailed outlining for my second novel. (If you'd like to keep them straight, my "first" novel is a middle school romantic comedy, and my "second" novel is a trippy psychological/drug story.) The work was all refresher and probably unnecessary, but it felt good. I immersed myself in the project for a whole day, minus the half hour I stopped to continue planning world domination with Kristina (italktosnakes). In case you were wondering, that paper I mentioned yesterday? I still don't know what the prompt is, and I still have made little effort to find out. I have a 30-minute free period, a 45-minute class that doesn't matter, and a lunch period. If all else fails, I'll just write it during school. That's the honor student way.

My bad mood carries on from yesterday. Somehow I always manage to convince myself that this time it'll be a good idea to talk to my exboyfriend. This time it's acceptable to blow off my friends for a jerk. This time it'll be worth it. This time I'll end the conversation not wanting to jump off a cliff. Ah, but fear not. I went to bed late with a pounding headache and got in about nine seconds of unadulterated crying. See, I've never been a crier. I have to be pretty damn tired or broken to produce tears. Last night I decided they were overdue, so I gasped deeply and willed my eyes to water. Like I said, about nine seconds. About nine seconds too many, all dignifying the actions of an idiot who's never deserved me.

The best part of this story is that my dog rolled her eyes at me for crying and walked out of my room.

In youtubely news, Buck (WHATTHEBUCKSHOW)'s video today about the Hannah Montana movie was the funniest thing I've seen in so long. "All the kids are crying-- some of them because of the movie, some of them for personal reasons." If you've already seen the movie or will never see the movie, go watch. Be careful, though... it's somehow got me trying to learn the "Hoedown Throwdown." Besides that, I'm also helping Alan (fallofautumndistro) and Hank (vlogbrothers) with a video today. With this honor came a video of Alex (nerimon) and Charlie (charlieissocoollike) singing. I love those kids.

Sexy: Natural chemistry that you can't fight, even if you get mad at each other a lot.
Unsexy: Thinking you have natural chemistry that you can't fight, even if you get mad at each other a lot, when really you just get mad at each other a lot.

Weight: 137
Chipotle burritos this year: 11
Subscribers: 15,095
Days left of high school: 30

Bye, guys! See you tomorrow. <3


Anonymous said...

first! sorry, I had to

allison said...

Yup- that is the honor student way. That, and wanting to cry when all honors teachers have overlapping projects/tests the week before break. (Or is that just me...) :/

Rosianna said...

"1,2,3,4" *middle bit* "there you go alan"

It made me laugh.
Also, I wish I could be as honest as you on my blog. I have this horrible amalgam of "shit what if they read it?" and "READ IT DAMNIT" that just ends up in me not really posting many honest things.

Leah said...

We should talk soonish. Somehow I've ended up more busy on break than I was at school. Head-scratcher, that.

Katy J said...

Dang. you lost that weight quick, girl. :D

have a great night.

seurat2 said...

Dogs are so much wiser than us about some things. Not wasting you time trying to cry about that guy clearly being one of those things. Hope you have a far, far better day tomorrow.

::allison:: said...

Everytime I look at your burrito count I sigh. I'm a Chipolte virgin. :/

And now for a beserk annoying chipper quote from a blonde musical: "Chin up cheer up it's time to bring a happy attitude! Keep it positiveee..."

Joey said...

This time it's acceptable to blow off my friends for a jerk.

(Thats what she said)

Sorry. Real bad one. Couldn't help it.

Kristina said...

Yay! I helped with that video too. xD

I like how people probably think we're kidding when you say world domination. We're not.

Victoria said...

Exes are never worth it. Think of it this way; there's a reason that he became your ex-boyfriend. If he was worth it, you would still be together. Second thoughts hurt, and I cab sympathize.

For your sexy/unsexy chemistry comment, it really reminded me of the Notebook. I do hope you've seen that movie; if not, go rent it now.

Allison said...

"If all else fails, I'll just write it during school. That's the honor student way."

Oh my gosh, SO TRUE. And it doesn't end with high school. Oh no, my friend, that lovely way of living continues on with you for the REST OF YOUR LIFE! (Or, at least until sophomore year of college. I haven't gotten farther than that yet. Though I would imagine it stays with you for life.)

VicMorrowsGhost said...

There's a reason why ex's are ex's. If they weren't ex's then they'd be currents, and if they were currents they'd be delicious and if they were delicious then... wait... lost my train of though.

Haley said...

I feel like you really need to take the "Are you John Wilkes Booth or a Burrito" quiz on facebook (

This, I believe, would be an optimal use of your time and really instructive about your person. Additionally, it's funny.

Anonymous said...

To be honest, I'm perfectly happy with you and Kristina taking over the world. Excited even. When is this happening?

Like someone else said, I wish I could be as honest as you in my blog. I have the problem that I know of about 3 people who read it, but I have to censor it so much just for those three. I need braveness.

Nicholas said...

There could definitely be worse things than a world dominated by two harry potter nerdfighter girls. A lot of worse things.

Nathalie said...

I'm afraid I have no clue what a Chipolte burrito is...I mean... I know what a burrito is....but still...
a little brazilian popular knowledge for you: "A fila anda"
something like...there's people waiting behind in line, so just get rid of the ex and move on to the next.
and good luck with the paper! and the books!

Nicole said...

Umm..if you're reading this check out my blog.
I know you live in Ohio. There's proof over there on my blog.
Haha, I'm not a stalker. But you mention Ohio a lot that it leads to suspicion.

emilyt33 said...

I know exactly how you feel about 'The Jerk'. I also have one of those, it's so hard. Always the 'What If's' that get me. I'm sorry that boys just all around suck, and I hope things get better!

CRUNKRacoon said...

Hayley. I've just fallen in love with you.
I'm not giving up anymore time to the jerk in my life.
i swear.
tomorrow will be different. <3

Anonymous said...

"That's the honor student way"
Haha,yes totally! Thank you for reaffirming my thought that you you can be a "great student" even if your a total slacker. I for one think I write better papers, last minute and under pressure.
<3 Kristina from Kansas