Friday, April 17, 2009

If you only tried...

I want to thank you, readers, for not commenting on yesterday's blog post. Because if you had, you'd probably tell me it was a good idea for me to go to New York. And it would be harder to tell you that I'm not there. A lot of things went into this decision... some of them were extremely legitimate and unavoidable, others were a little bit stupid. All in all, it was best that I didn't, but I'm still sort of sad.

Some really fun things happened today. For one, my choir director, who adores me, pulled me aside today to yell at me for not showing enough enthusiasm for line-dances. I've got a lot on my plate, mind you, and the second she walked away I had to burrow my palms into my head so I wouldn't tear up or scream or something. It was stupid, I know, but you'd think that someone who's known and observed me for so many years would understand that it's a mood, not an attitude. How do we manage to be cruel to people when our own lives are so hard? All of us? Why does human nature prevent compassion?

My mother made me an appointment to get my hair done today because she thinks I like it. The same girl has been cutting my hair for a few years, and she's gone to my church since we were little. I don't know when she formed this impression, but she seems to think I'm some kind of tomboy, just because I never know what to do with my hair. I should not let it bother me, but she said some things today like, "Wow, your mom should have beat you out and had you come in a month ago," and "If someone could convince you to wear a little makeup, you could be gorgeous," and after she was done, "See, when was the last time you could run your fingers through your hair?" The things is... I was wearing a little bit of makeup. I did my hair today. It's not that I could be pretty if I put effort into it, because this frumpiness was my effort. That was fun.

Uuuuugh. Whatever. I don't want to write any more.

Sexy: Zac Efron. I was indifferent before, but I've recently discovered just how much sex oozes out of his pores. Who invented him?! Why are there not more?!
Unsexy: Girls who tan too much and dye their hair to be the same color as their skin. No, ladies. Never, ever attractive.

Weight: I don't want to talk about it.
Chipotle burritos this year: 12
Subscribers: 15,274
Days left of high school: 26


A.J. James Brooks said...

I used to be convinced that I was this amazingly nice and understanding person, and then one day my sister inlaw said something that has stuck with me,
"If you are the only person that knows you are a good person, you aren't"

And you are gorgeous... tell that damn stylist that maybe if she studied more and made out less she would be cutting sutures instead of bangs...
hmm so about that me being a nice guy... shrug.

Katy said...

Dude, I saw 17 Again today and it was flipping awesome. I love Zac Effron, he's absolutely stunning <3

That stylist is probably like my aunt, who always tries to wax my eyebrows and tells me to get higlights and lowlights and twilights in my hair so I can look like "all the other girls in my school." As if. <3

Gabby R said...

I am glad I am not the only one who thinks that Zefron is a sexy god. Marlena calls him a gnome and Adam refers to him as a troll. It's tough.

joy isobel said...

Aww Hayley, cheer up :) It sounds like you've been having a really awful last couple of weeks, and that legitimately saddens me. If you really didn't feel up to going to New York, then you made the right decision. You should go out and do something fun and just forget about all this crap.

P.S. Zac Efron. Seriously? Seriously?!

Catherine said...

Aww Hayley, chin up dear. Your a lovely girl. By the way, I too have come around to Zac Efron. It took me awhile though.

Harberette said...

You are gorgeous. That hair dresser woman is off her rocker.

Catherine said...

I'm sorry you're not going to go to NY. It always just sucks when you think you're going to get to see friends then you just don't. Stay positive! Think happy thoughts! And try not to focus on the bad, okay?

Callie said...

Uugh I know how you feel. I put effort into my looks and some people still think that I don't care or try sometimes. Upsetting.

Also, I cannot help but love zac efron, so gorgeous <3

Anonymous said...

Hayley, atleast you thought over not going to NY.

I truly understand that people's words can really hurt and sometimes affect you even when you don't want but you just have to take the decision to not take this bull- from people who don't know you well, who aren't your close friends. Even family can be harsh because they don't know better and in those instances, I would suggest you just confront them and say what you are feeling.

You could look like a frog and we'd still like you because we like what's inside and your creativity and that's the real beauty of you. I hope you take that comment to heart.

Katy J said...

We love you Hayley.


Kristen said...

I think since your stylist thought she "knew" you she thought she could get away with saying those things to you. Really her job is to make your fabulous self even more fabulous. I unfortunately can put on just the right amount of makeup and all it takes is someone to say "gee, you look tired" ggrrh. Why?

Carina said...

Hayley, I for one, think you're absolutely gorgeous. I had a hairdresser who made me SOB every time I went to her. She thought it would be appropriate to comment on my lack of chest and poor choices of outfits. The best part is, I was 12. Maybe hairdressers are just insecure people?

And I have to agree about the Zefron thing. I just saw 17 Again tonight and him suddenly becoming hot is like the 8th world wonder.

Anonymous said...

I love you Hayley!! You are GORGEOUS! I wish I had your natural beauty!

inkstainedpages said...

I miss your "Bye, guys! See you tomorrow. <3"s. What happened to them?!

Cheer up, life'll get better! I personally adored high school, but the last few weeks sucked nonetheless. People will be less mean to you in college and will generally not treat you like an inferior teenager anymore. :)

::allison:: said...

Teehee, I've come to the same Zac Efron epiphany, too.

As for your 'unsexy', I went to the movies and saw a girl in a football jersey that hung off her shoulders, booty shorts, and uggs. It's flipping April and freezing here. Her hair was the same color as her fakebaked skin. So your unsexy hit home. Thanks! Props!

And you're beautiful. Denying it is not sexy.

Larangutang said...

I really hope you feel better and have a better day tomorrow.

erin meagan said...

I have the same thoughts about Zac Efron.

Manda said...

Ms Hayley? I know you are still in highschool but sometimes I forget because you are in a lot of ways a very mature and interesting person. But really? You think you are frumpy? You think you are fat? I can't even begin to tell you how warped our conceptions of ourselves are ESPECIALLY when we are in highschool still... And I won't really try because I know that no matter how many people told me other wise, until I was about 19 I wasn't buying it.

Anyway as Ralph Waldo Emerson said "Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine."

Let yourself shine.
oh by the way I'm a random usually silent blog reader... just thought I'd do my bit to try and give you a virtual hug. :-)

passionateforwords said...

I think what you should learn from that story is simply that you aren't going to attract your hairdresser.
I'm not of the male species (there is probably a reason for that, I am far too female in my way of thinking to be a boy) but if I was, for some inexplicable reason probably involving Polyjuice potion and a wish on a shooting star, I would not give a damn how much makeup you wore or if you "ran your fingers through your hair". I just wouldn't.
But then, again, I am not of the male species.

I hope you feel better, Hayley, you are in my thoughts. :)

Rosianna said...

I vote more Zac Efron. 17 Again turned me to the Zefdar.

Anonymous said...

And now a total stranger will talk to you as if she knows you... (Okay after watching all of your videos and reading your blog for a while, I feel like I know you a little, and hopefully that's not creepy. So I'll just make 3 quick points)
#1 You are so insightful and observant, I'm always interested to hear what you have to say.
#2 For the past several days I've been coming to your blog hoping you'd had a better day, and was naively optimistic enough to think you meant it when you said "Some really fun things happened today." Then I was sad to discover it was sarcastic.
#3 What universe do you live in that your grandfather or strangers or you hair dresser can consider you fat or frumpy or anything like that? Seriously, I'm so floored. I mean, I'm a straight woman and when I see your videos I'm like "Wow, she's so gorgeous."
I don't know how much it helps to hear this from a stranger, but I think there are a lot of us rooting for you!
-Randi (aka PeterLeo9 on youtube)

VicMorrowsGhost said...

WTF your hair dresser is a cow.
I'm one of 15 thousand, lets say that again FIFTEEN THOUSAND people you think you're a fox, a talented, hilarious, witty fox.

When your getting your first book published she'll be cutting hair. When your second book is a best seller she'll still be cutting hair and when... etc.

Kirsty said...

THAT'S who invented Zac Efron.

baz said...


i got the same crap about attitude with my boss this past weeks. who actually got it that it is mood swings, but says it is 'unprofessional' thus 'untolerable'

whats a person to do?

Nicholas said...

I think one of the things my mom says to me the most is "you're looking terrible today"... gee. Thanks Ma.

What she actually means is "Are you eating alright? Enough sleep? Too much stress?" but you know, I still hate it when she says it.

RoboFillet said...

I feel a little silly writing "No don't say things like that! You're beautiful!" because everyone else here has written the same thing, and I think if I said that at this late stage it would probably come off as insincere.

So here's me hoping that if I explain myself a little bit my words might have a little more weight:

No. Don't say things like that. You're beautiful.

Jesse said...

It seems increasingly likely to me that the less someone knows what they're talking about, the more qualified they think they are to give their opinion on the subject. I can recall a time when I first started to grow my beard(which is really just slightly longer scruff, really, I can't stand to have much length at all), and my mother kept telling me not to grow it, because it looks horrible on me. She, of course, said all of this before I grew it. Now I can't imagine myself without it, and for the first two weeks of having it, I got compliments left and right.

My point is that nobody else should be able to tell you that you don't look good. Because they are quite wrong. Just because someone is a professional stylist doesn't mean they've got good taste. Take, for example, the man who gave me a perpetual bowlcut through elementary school.

You're very beautiful, one of the loveliest girls on YouTube. You're one of my favorite vloggers, and not just because you're rather nice to look at. You're genuinely interesting, you're smart, you're funny, and no self-important stylist can take that away from you.

Hayley Controversy Hoover, keep on keepin' on, because you, dear lady, are made of awesome.

shakethedust said...

I'm going to jump on the sincere band wagon and let you know that you're beautiful, and in a very real way. You're exactly who you are, inside and out, and I think half of what she said may have been rooted in jealousy because those things. Plus, you're smart and she's a hairdresser. I mean, I guess somebody has to be, but that somebody isn't you.

I've had days where I actually aimed to look really nice and then I got comments like, "Wow, you look really tired" or "are you feeling okay?" Ha!

Hang in there, kiddo. I know things have been rough the last few weeks, but you're going to make it after all, just like Mary Tyler Moore.

Anonymous said...

'How do we manage to be cruel to people when our own lives are so hard? All of us? Why does human nature prevent compassion?' - I have no idea, but it's a really, really good question and if everyone asked themselves that the world would probably suck less.

Also, when I get around to reading blogs now I check Maureen Johnson's, John Green's and then yours. I know saying 'this blog is my third favourite' doesn't sound like much, but when the only blogs I like better than this one are John's and Maureen's, that means your blog makes me want to kiss my laptop. In a totally non-creepy way.

Ok I will calm down with the fangirling now but, to sum up, I heart your blog and I hope you have a better day tomorrow :)

- Ali

Melody said...


Kristina said...

Hayley, I know this probably just sounds like white noise to you, but you're NOT frumpy.

I am always super impressed by the fact that you actually curl your hair frequently and stuff.

So, your hairdresser is stupid. I bet she tans her skin to match her hair, doesn't she.

Emma said...

Argh, every time I try to write this is ends up sounding insincere. The point is: You're beautiful! You're brilliant! You're funny! The people who tell you otherwise are stupid, blind, and probably jealous!

ohsoeccentric said...

UGH! What that stylist said to you infuriates me! You are absolutely beautiful, no makeup needed. I think she was trying to weaken you in an effort to get inside your head, make you want to keep coming back to get your hair done. Or maybe it was more a reflection of her own insecurities. It makes me sad that it made YOU sad, she crossed a major boundary there.

barefootfiona said...

I want send <3 @ U.
And that is what I'll do.