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Saturday, April 18, 2009

Vacuums.

I just want to say that my blog followers are the COOLEST PEOPLE ALIVE. You guys... your comments made me so, so happy this morning. Love and thanks to A.J., Katy, Gabby, Joy, Catherine, Harberette, Catherine (a different one, I think!), Callie, someone cool and anonymous, Katy (a different one!), Kristen, Carina, Lindy, inkstainedpages, Allison, Larangutang, Erin Meagan, Manda, passionateforwords, Rosianna, another cool anonymous person, VicMorrowsGhost, Kristy, Baz, Nicholas, Rohan, Jesse, Shakethedust, one more cool anonymous person, and Melody. You're why today is awesome.

This morning my mother shook me awake at 7:00AM, exuding joy. "Do you want to go with me to buy a new vacuum?!" The offer was a tempting one. "I want to sleep," I informed her with the half of my mouth not dripping saliva onto my pillow. With a "Suit yourself!" she left, bouncing and beaming. I slept for another half hour or so, feeling guilty in the part of my brain that was conscious for being the bratty teenager. Then I realized that I get ready for school at seven thirty and it's a Saturday. When I decided to get up, I was greeted by an equally as enthusi-spastic call from my sister. "Guuuuueeees whaaaat!" she squealed. "You've won a special prize." The Special Prize, I soon found out, was the opportunity to watch her get her hair done. Special! And prizing! So after about four hours of reading bridal magazines while Cori got highlights, I returned home to meet our new pet, Dyson. I mean, like, if a pet is something cute you bring into your house for care and entertainment, then to my mother, her vacuum cleaner is, indeed, a pet. Every single corner of my house is now lined with clean streaks. Today was one of the first nice, warm days all year, and my mom was upstairs with all the lights on, stroking her favorite toy lovingly. "Mother," I half gasped, half whined. "How many times have you emptied the canister so far?" A trashcan sat in the center of the room, holding masses of dust and dog fur and staples and human hair. "A MILLION!" she responded, shaking the contents into the garbage bag once again. A million. I would totally believe it.

This afternoon I went for a walk and got ice cream with my friend, Lauren. I love spending time with her, and we're really close, but the two of us collectively are so boring. It's not that we run out of things to talk about, but we frequently end up blaring Miley Cyrus and banging our heads against the dashboard in wishful misery. So here I am now, writing a blog post entirely out of obligation, listening to A Cinderella Story play in the background, home on a Saturday night before my parents are.

In youtubely news, Alan (fallofautumndistro) came up with a really awesome idea for a vlogging game. You should participate. He's cute.

Sexy: Weird clothes. As long as they fit. Do whatever you want, but make sure your ugly white socks don't show when you sit down in jeans.
Unsexy: Scoop-licking ice cream with your tongue. It is NOT a spoon. Stop using it to jackhammer into the cone and then flicking it back into your throat. Gross.

Weight: 137
Chipotle burritos this year: 12
Subscribers: 15,291
Days left of high school: 26

Bye, guys! See you tomorrow. <3

23 comments:

Rebecca Mcgrane said...

Glad to hear you're having a better day today :)
''I returned home to meet our new pet, Dyson. I mean, like, if a pet is something cute you bring into your house for care and entertainment, then to my mother, her vacuum cleaner is, indeed, a pet''- this had me in stiches.
Please write a book.

sorry if this comment is a tad strange.

Becky :)
x

Katy said...

Bah, times like this I hate my extremely common name. <3

I did the vlog game. It was quite fun. And yes, Alan is cute.

And I agree with Rebecca: write a book. I'd buy it. :D Or just do NaNoWriMo... something tells me you would rock it.

PS: I love Miley Cyrus. (PS for "post secret." As in... it's my secret. SHH!)

Kristina said...

Sure. The ONE day I am a little late in commenting is the day you give shout outs.


Figures.

Larangutang said...

Glad you're feeling better and all of us made it happen lol. Hope you enjoy your new pet Dyson :P

A said...

Oh, but I read your blog in Google Reader and therefore don't comment. <--- Lame excuse.

Rebecca said...

Hahaha, I love when people get all, "Why didn't you mention meeee?"

Anyway, as sad as it is for me to say this (being that I'm 22) I totally geeked out over my new vacuum today. It can go right from carpet to bare floor! <3

Heh, so yeah. Sometimes it's okay to be a little strange.

Catherine said...

Wow, what a boring life. But I can't really say anything because my best friend and I went to a Pampered Chef party today. In my defense, her aunt was hosting it so she had to be there and I went for moral support.

Now I know you don't feel 100 percent better but at least it's good to know you don't feel 100 percent bad. =)

Carrie said...

Awww, I scoop-lick. I just get a little excited sometimes.

Also, I love how you write. You're hilarious!

Katy J said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Katy J said...

Hayley, you never cease to make me smile. The way in which you document your life is creative and amazing. Like you. :]

<3

P.S. :Hey person named Katy:
Katy, while common, is uncommon when spelled with a y in my neck of the woods. So you should feel special! :D

Heather Rodriguez said...

I LOVE my Dyson.

A.J. James Brooks said...

Suddenly I have the urge for ice cream, delicious spoon fed ice creamy goodness.

Ryan Leys said...

Haha, so you know now that you mentioned people who commented, you're going to get tons of comments, right? Also, Vacuum might just be the ugliest word I've seen ever.

HAHAHA I just made a pun.
You're mom vacuumlated a new vacuum!
Get it? Ahaha, I'm going to submit that on Kristinas blog for the new word.

VicMorrowsGhost said...

My mission today is to use "enthusi-spastic" in conversation. :D

Anonymous said...

Welcome back, not-miserable Hayley.:)
How in the world do you make an anecdote about your mother vacuuming the wittiest, funniest thing I've seen or read today? The long middle paragraph was as good as reading a book. So to add to my complimenting of yesterday... holy crap you sure can write.
-Randi (PeterLeo9)

Rosianna said...

Not that I'm an incredibly strange teenager who loves household appliances or anything, but AHHHHH DYSONs ARE THE BEST VACUUM CLEANERS ON THE PLANET.

I'm a bratty teenager too, it's cool.

sarah said...

"home on a Saturday night before my parents are"

Oh my, this is basically what all my Saturday nights are like. Plus, what's even more sad is that I tried printing off this one-player board game but I got discouraged when I found out the rule booklet was 50 pages.

Nicholas said...

Sometimes I think that if making you feel better would be the only valid reason for me to be on the interwebz, it'd already be enough ;)

Just promise me to use your fabulous connections to get your writing published. I need book covers that say "HayleyGHoover" in my book case. How would you like to stay next to... Lemony Snicket?

Adrienne said...

I agree with Rebecca and Katy- please write a book. I would read anything you write. You're so funny and entertaining, even when you're just venting. Thanks for giving me something to read every day in April :)

John said...

My mother is the exact same. Its an oddity how ecstatic she gets over a cleaning device.

And I agree I would buy your book also :D

Becka said...

I think we may be half-sisters- your mother sounds just like mine.

My nan got her a new washing machine for Christmas. You should have seen her face- she was literally crying tears of joy.

The old one wasn't even broken.

Glad you're feeling better!

Becka.

BTW, the washing machine is called Edmund. Which says it all, really.

Catherine said...

It's good to know that your feeling better Hayley! Your blogs are great!

Lucy said...

. . . and I thought my family was a nightmare for waking me up to ask me if I want to do insane tasks with them. I have now trained them not to though, except my mum to tell me to study or some doctor/dentist/optition appointment she swares she told me about.

I think I may have been one of the anonomouses but I thought I had included a name so my internet may just have bailed on me.

from Lucy