I'm a bitch, I'm a lover, I'm a child, I'm a [5AGays' baby's] mother

I am not a fan of team-building exercises. And by "not a fan," I mean "Oh my goodness, I cannot handle them." I aggravated a large portion of my camp co-workers today by both acting sassy towards the activity organizer and by leaving early. I know, I'm doing no favors to the whole all-about-me teenager stereotype that I so hate, but I don't think this is a phase. I think I'm maybe just a bitch.

Oh, and last night they played my Project for Awesome video to the entire staff. Talk about a puddle of awkward. I sort of bit my lip and hid my face in my friend Seers's lap and prayed that it would go away. As planned, I was swarmed by old people for the rest of the night/following day, all asking questions to which I either have no answer ("Where do you get your ideas?") or I have no interest in explaining, like How does youtube work? How do you make a video, and how does it get there? What's the Project for Awesome? Why is there a Christmas tree behind you? Do people watch them? Are you famous? Do you get money? Where does the money come from? How much money do you get? Do you do it for the money or for the rock and roll? And then the ones who watch my channel obsessively cup their hands over their mouths and shout quotes across the room from videos of mine that I haven't watched since I uploaded them, trying to prove how very hip and in sync they are with my life.

I understand that I subject myself to all of this. I understand that no one is making me expose myself to the world, and I understand that it's sort of the same as when celebrities complain about poparazzi after working for years to be noticed. But, like... if you watch my videos, do you really think I'm the kind of person who wants to be smiley and normal and have a long, pleasant conversation with you about smiley normal long pleasant things? All I do in my vlogs is complain and parody. You are, essentially, just fueling my Pissed at the Whole World fire.

Wow; I'm really making myself sound like a jerk. I don't mean to. I just-- like most things in my life-- would prefer my affirmation for deeds well done submitted in writing, anonymously over the internet. As much as I enjoy attention, it's so uncomfortable in situations like this one. Oh, and none of this whining applies to being recognized on the street by people who discovered me without the annoying aid of my mother or sister. You guys rock, and I'll have anything with you that you'd like, no matter how smiley, normal, long or pleasant.

In youtubely news, I recently posted this on fiveawesomegirls. We thought of the idea together on my bed in January, and I'm so relieved that it's finally been made. I think it's pretty hilarious. The comments, however, are creeping me out already. People are discussing sperm's ability to eat through glass and saying that I "look like I'm a freak." In regards to this last part, I can't really disagree, no matter which definition of "freak" you're describing. The answer to all of them is sort of yes.

Also, Katrina (walllofweird)'s VEDA is really simplistic and cute. Her eyes and hair are so big and pretty! She looks like a painting. I'm also watching Alex (nerimon), Adam (whataboutadam) and Lsnook. I can't begin to count how many BEDAs I'm reading. You're all incredible, by the way. I'm addicted to all of you. You know what else I'm addicted to?

Sexy: Paul McCartney looking up at you with his droopy sexball eyes while singing.
Unsexy: Kid Rock.

Weight: 137
Chipotle burritos this year: 10
Subscribers: 14, 751
Days left of high school: 33

Bye, guys! See you tomorrow. <3