Friday, April 10, 2009

Hannah Mon'haters

My first order of business is to say that I like Jesus. He's pretty cool. Also, this is hysterical and, surprisingly, not sacrilegious if you think about it!

Tonight in John (vlogbrothers)'s blogtv room, when Rosianna (missxrojas) and I were not busy fighting over which of us would be a better Lacey in the movie adaptation of John's book, Paper Towns*, I was egged on to start writing fallofautumndistro/nerimon slash fanfiction. For the following paragraph, I apologize.

It was a dark and stormy night. Alan and Alex were cuddling on a bed, holding each other tight. "You're such a hunksicle, babe," Alex murmured into Alan's ear, which was inexplicably black-and-white, in the style of his videos. Alan sighed in reply, and breathily hummed something that sounded much like the bridge to "Mrs. Nerimon." A thunderclap shook the atmosphere, and the storm raged outside with the same fervor of their love. A light, incessant vibration beat on Alex's thigh. "Bedoodoodoo," he said sarcastically. "The wench is calling again." Alan rolled his droopy eyes. "Just don't answer, hon!" he pleaded, fluffing Alex's hair. "Just don't answer." Alex stared down at his phone. It flashed a photograph of Kristina. Alan groaned as Alex sat up, contemplating, his thumb hovering over the button to accept the call. "Wonday. One day, we'll be together," said Alan, defeated. And with a beautiful feeling of release, spontaneity took over Alex. He hit "Reject Incoming Call," and he let his head fall lightly back on the pillow, next to his one and only love.

So last night I went with my best friend, Jess, to see the Hannah Montana movie at midnight. We went to a theater thirty minutes away just to make it an event, and we also sort of dressed like hookers. At one point we walked around a Wal-Mart to kill time because everything else closes on Thursday nights. A group of annoying people (I almost said "kids," but they're my peers), probably about sixteen years old, followed us around and giggled. One of them very clearly tried to surreptitiously take a picture of us with his phone. "Are you trying to surreptitiously take a picture of us with your phone?" I asked him. He laughed that doofy boy laugh out of the front of his throat and said something brilliant like, "Uhhh, no, no one takes pictures hehhehhehhh."  One of the girls said "I like your hair!" to Jess, who was half-wearing my disgusting blonde wig,  then ran away laughing into her friend's shoulder. Jess said, "Thanks, I like yours, too!" We then proceeded to loudly talk about how boring and predictable teenagers are. Congratulations, you discovered that we're dressed weird. You're really very clever for making fun of people who are making fun of things. The boy with the camera shouted, "Are you transvestites?" on our way out, to which I replied, "It would make this infinitely more entertaining, but alas, we are not."

In youtubely news, I know I lied about making a 5AG video yesterday. I had plans to sing my love song for fallofautumndistro, dye Easter eggs and get dressed for Miley Night. A whole extravaganza. But honestly, for the first time in a while I felt like spending some time in my real life instead. :) I don't know for sure when my next video will come out, but I think you can expect one this week.

Sexy: Doing your own thing. If you're the quirky-saying-on-a-baggy-old-shirt type, do it with confidence. If you want a blue mohawk, do it. Just don't ask permission for things, don't make excuses, and don't change depending on the company.
Unsexy: This picture of Kelly Clarkson. I like her and she's lovely, but the person who thought this photo was a good idea should be fired.

Weight: 138
Chipotle burritos this year: 10
Subscribers: 14,982
Days left of high school: 30

Bye, guys! See you tomorrow. <3

*If you would like to help the Haylacey campaign, comment on John's most recent video, telling him why I'm great, why Rosi's too British, or why I'm great.


[morgan.] said...

Oh my, someone else who agrees about the Kelly Clarkson picture! I don't like her hair these days... *shrugs*

Your distromon story is fantastic, and pretty much made my day. (Yes, it even topped Willy's cuteness during John's blogTV).

passionateforwords said...

Your Hannah Montana story is amazing, and reminds me of the time that my best friend and I dressed up as "nerds" for Halloween 2007 (Not really a costume, because it was 100% true) and the kids at our school asked us if we were deranged. Not exactly the same, and they didn't have the guts to take any pictures of us, but its similar.
My costume consisted of plaid shoes, striped socks, plaid pajama pants, a striped long sleeve shirt, and a white homemade T-Shirt over it that listed all of the characters of The Office on the back (I was a "The Office Nerd") and John and Hank Green's faces on the front.
That was obviously the year we discovered Brotherhood 2.0 and nerdfighting.

Leah said...

Sexy: Irony.
Unsexy: Complete inability to detect irony.

Speaking of crazy costumes, I found my spiked collar from Halloween '07 today. Thoughts?

seurat2 said...

I'm all for you enjoying your real life. Truly. But that sounded like a great video that you had planned. *sniff* Is it traitorous of me to think either of you would be great in the role, and that I can't bring myself to hope Rosi loses at pretty much anything? I trust you blended in real well at the movie. (I so hope you didn't.)

VicMorrowsGhost said...

Oh she's just being Hayley.

Kristina said...

Yeah.... didn't really appreciate your fanfiction.

JJC1138 said...

Even though it contains mentally scarring yaoi, reading this post is still a net positive experience. Kudos.

Katie said...

I was laughing uncontrollably while reading the fan fiction.

Please do not continue, though. :D

katrina said...

omg. i fucking adore you. nerimon slash? iufghdaoigjdaoigjqoija

my first love was digimon slash fiction to be honest.

portland portland<3

Sarah McLeroy said...

I was dying when I was reading the fanfiction.I do think that can be considered the pinnacle of possible acheivement in NeriDistro/Fallofmon fanfiction, and therefore no others need attempt it.

Nicholas said...

That piece of fan-fiction caught me completely off-guard :D but I'm not sure I'd like you to pursue it... oh what the... do it.

Charlotte said...

Kelly Clarkson looks like a plastic barbie-doll. Too scary.

Your Adam/Alex story rocked. Haha, never imagined those two together.
Made my day.

And you are the best for dressing up and going in public. Teenagers can be so annoying when you are acting different then the rest of the 'group'. I always enjoy events on school when we are able to dress up as crazy and ugly as possible, because it is so much fun.

Joey said...

I lolled so bad after I saw the pic. And... Loved the title of the blog... Very well thought of... bedoodoodoooo

erin meagan said...

I walked around Walmart today with my friend Beverley, and we were looking at all of the Hannah Montana merchandise(I bought a hairbrush shaped as a guitar with her face on it for 5 dollars). People kept looking at me strange because I was wearing a jacket from the 60s that was white washed denim with a bunch of things spray painted on. Yes, so what if I have the word Revolution on my back in huge neon letters. It doesn't mean I can't look at Hannah Montana socks, or NYLON magazine, or High School Musical 3 dolls.