Hannah Mon'haters

My first order of business is to say that I like Jesus. He's pretty cool. Also, this is hysterical and, surprisingly, not sacrilegious if you think about it!

Tonight in John (vlogbrothers)'s blogtv room, when Rosianna (missxrojas) and I were not busy fighting over which of us would be a better Lacey in the movie adaptation of John's book, Paper Towns*, I was egged on to start writing fallofautumndistro/nerimon slash fanfiction. For the following paragraph, I apologize.

It was a dark and stormy night. Alan and Alex were cuddling on a bed, holding each other tight. "You're such a hunksicle, babe," Alex murmured into Alan's ear, which was inexplicably black-and-white, in the style of his videos. Alan sighed in reply, and breathily hummed something that sounded much like the bridge to "Mrs. Nerimon." A thunderclap shook the atmosphere, and the storm raged outside with the same fervor of their love. A light, incessant vibration beat on Alex's thigh. "Bedoodoodoo," he said sarcastically. "The wench is calling again." Alan rolled his droopy eyes. "Just don't answer, hon!" he pleaded, fluffing Alex's hair. "Just don't answer." Alex stared down at his phone. It flashed a photograph of Kristina. Alan groaned as Alex sat up, contemplating, his thumb hovering over the button to accept the call. "Wonday. One day, we'll be together," said Alan, defeated. And with a beautiful feeling of release, spontaneity took over Alex. He hit "Reject Incoming Call," and he let his head fall lightly back on the pillow, next to his one and only love.

So last night I went with my best friend, Jess, to see the Hannah Montana movie at midnight. We went to a theater thirty minutes away just to make it an event, and we also sort of dressed like hookers. At one point we walked around a Wal-Mart to kill time because everything else closes on Thursday nights. A group of annoying people (I almost said "kids," but they're my peers), probably about sixteen years old, followed us around and giggled. One of them very clearly tried to surreptitiously take a picture of us with his phone. "Are you trying to surreptitiously take a picture of us with your phone?" I asked him. He laughed that doofy boy laugh out of the front of his throat and said something brilliant like, "Uhhh, no, no one takes pictures hehhehhehhh."  One of the girls said "I like your hair!" to Jess, who was half-wearing my disgusting blonde wig,  then ran away laughing into her friend's shoulder. Jess said, "Thanks, I like yours, too!" We then proceeded to loudly talk about how boring and predictable teenagers are. Congratulations, you discovered that we're dressed weird. You're really very clever for making fun of people who are making fun of things. The boy with the camera shouted, "Are you transvestites?" on our way out, to which I replied, "It would make this infinitely more entertaining, but alas, we are not."

In youtubely news, I know I lied about making a 5AG video yesterday. I had plans to sing my love song for fallofautumndistro, dye Easter eggs and get dressed for Miley Night. A whole extravaganza. But honestly, for the first time in a while I felt like spending some time in my real life instead. :) I don't know for sure when my next video will come out, but I think you can expect one this week.

Sexy: Doing your own thing. If you're the quirky-saying-on-a-baggy-old-shirt type, do it with confidence. If you want a blue mohawk, do it. Just don't ask permission for things, don't make excuses, and don't change depending on the company.

Unsexy: This picture of Kelly Clarkson. I like her and she's lovely, but the person who thought this photo was a good idea should be fired.

Weight: 138

Chipotle burritos this year: 10

Subscribers: 14,982

Days left of high school: 30

Bye, guys! See you tomorrow. <3

*If you would like to help the Haylacey campaign, comment on John's most recent video, telling him why I'm great, why Rosi's too British, or why I'm great.