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Thursday, April 30, 2009

Just bein' Miley

Hello, kids. Today I took a complicated test on a complicated book. Luckily,

Oh, goody. I was going to say "I don't think I did that poorly," but I stopped in the middle to check if it'd been graded already. I got a D. On an ENGLISH test. Faaaantastic. On the bright side, it was the last real assignment I'll ever have to do in high school. On the not-so-bright side, I now have a C. In English. Kick me in the face. I'm totally not in the mood for blogging anymore at the present time. Here's another editorial I wrote yesterday for my school's newspaper:

Unless you’re elderly or a Pokemon master, chances are you know quite a bit about Miley Cyrus. At the age of sixteen, she has over 196,000,000 Google search results. According to Forbes magazine, she’s the world’s fifteenth richest person under the age of 25. Her TV show, Hannah Montana, has pulverized the Disney channel’s previous ratings. Both of her albums, Meet Miley Cyrus (2007) and Breakout (2008) went straight to number one. Her face is practically wallpaper at Wal-Mart and Claire’s. She’s starred in two feature films and sold out concert locations all across the country.

Oh yeah, and a lot of people hate her.

I’ll admit—when Cyrus first came on the scene as Hannah Montana in 2006, I thought she was annoying. Lots of mouthy overacting in the style of Raven-Symone, highly-edited children’s motivational songs, and one of those prepubescent ribcage-y body types: it all seemed enough for me to dismiss. Little did I know that Disney’s ability to reel in audiences of all ages would lead to my own succumbing to Miley Mania.

Though it was at first against my will, I found myself frequently impressed by Cyrus’s interview performance. She doesn’t answer questions like a ditz. She carries herself with a womanlike maturity while still trying to live down to America’s expectations for her to be a little girl.

The general public has formed the common misconception that Cyrus can’t sing. I understand why this would be assumed, as her most widely heard music is from when she was fourteen years old. Quite contrarily, however, Cyrus performs the majority of her concerts live and successfully. When was the last time Britney Spears even had her headset microphone turned on at a show? Cyrus beautifully delivered her new single, “The Climb,” at the children’s inaugural concert this winter, under an enormous amount of pressure, and the audience was visibly shaken.

It should also be noted that Cyrus wrote and cowrote the majority of both her albums, which is a pretty monumental feat for a young actress, especially considering that her competition, people like Jamie Lynn Spears and Lindsay Lohan-- who are respectively pregnant with a second illegitimate child and a rehab patient—have never penned a meaningful word in their lives. While somewhat trivial, (Who didn’t laugh when they heard “My best friend Leslie said, ‘Oh, she’s just bein’ Miley’?”) Cyrus’s lyrics speak to the souls of pre-teen girls everywhere. She sings about skateboarding after school; not indiscriminate sex.

Which brings us to the inevitable discussion of her sexy Internet photos. Last year, a set of photographs were leaked to the web, picturing Cyrus posing for a girlfriend’s digital camera with hints of her undergarments purposely showing. Yes, parents have reason to be cautious when their daughters’ favorite star is seen in a lime green bra, but in my opinion, the whole ordeal was wildly blown out of proportion. The pictures, while racy, were nothing you wouldn’t see on the Myspace pages of half our student body. They’re a far cry from child pornography, and incomparable to High School Musical’s Vanessa Hudgens’s nude photos. The real crime in this situation is that members of the media are exploiting the childish mistakes of a child for their own benefit.

While it is evident that Miley Cyrus has some growing up to do, I honestly cannot foresee a drug meltdown or head-shaving in her future. Being in the public eye 24/7, the self-proclaimed Christian teen deserves a medal for having so few strikes against her decency record to date. My advice? Leave her alone. She’s just bein’ Miley.

Weight: I don't know right now.
Chipotle burritos this year: 15
Subscribers: 15,732
Days left of high school: 16

Bye, guys! Hopefully I'll see you tomorrow. Proooom niiiiight.

49 comments:

Hollishillis said...

Sorry about your test! Have fun at prom!!!!

Katy J said...

Awwww, a C es no bueno.

Have an amaaaaazing time at your senior prom. :D

<3

Dan said...

I hope you have a really good time at your prom. I hope your test result doesn't make you too upset.

joy isobel said...

It's okay, we all have crap test days. Does your teacher at least let your lowest test score go? Have fun at prom!

Sarah said...

I've never had a chipotle burrito.

I think I am missing out.

Ben said...

Alas I am not elderly or a Pokemon master, but British, which is the reason for my purported lack of knowledge Miley Cyrus. Although I had heard of her before, my knowledge is still ultimately limited to the content of a certain Jonathan Ross interview. She seems pleasant, perhaps a bit excitable, like a young child on crack.

Thank you for caging me with the shackles of an 'internet follower' yesterday. A loving torrent of backhanded compliments that left me reeling, and all I could see as I looked up were adverts floating around my field of vision.

I josh, I josh. I jest, I jest.

Do you have end of year exams or is your fate already decided?

Anonymous said...

No Sexy/Unsexy? That's my favourite part of your blog. Have a good time at prom!

Ben said...

Google adverts obviously don't know what to make of your seedy website.

allison :D said...

Have fun at prom!

Don't let your test grade bring you down! (:

Katy said...

I completely agree with what you said about Miley. I'm guilty of having a few Jo Bros songs on my iPod (aptly named Neville, after a certain Longbottom fellow), and even though I have no Miley Montana songs, after reading this I feel no guilt in stealing one of my sisters' CDs to put on Neville.

:)

Nokorola said...

Have fun at Prom, English is a dead language anyway.

Hayley_leesha666 said...

couldnt agree more! hahaha i <3 Miley! haha
have the best time at your senior prom!
x

Scott said...

I just got the results from my second term of my first year of university. Tomorrow, I shall drink for the death of both of our GPAs. But have fun at your prom!

Erin said...

I feel like people can only love or hate celebrities. I never hear anyone say that they kind of like Miley Cyrus, just that they absolutely hate her or they adore her. Is that just me? Anyway, you made a compelling argument why people shouldn't write her off just yet. Don't stress about the English test because I'm sure you'll have more later on that you can do better on, and have a great time at prom! As a person who kind of doesn't get the whole prom thing, I'd like to hear how it went for you.

BriannaBean said...

Great article! Sorry about the English test though.

Sarah said...

I hope you have fun at your prom :)

euphoriaa said...

You've changed my opinion on Miley Cyrus.

Raven Zoe said...

That's so weird, I literally just finished watching a bootleg of the Hannah Montana movie (oh sue me, moneysuckingwhoresatDisney). I thought it was funny how your own "Miley" story was the complete opposite of mine. Unlike you, I liked Hannah Montana pretty much right away. It took me like a year to actually sit down and watch an episode, but when I did, I thought it was charming. Something I totally would have enjoyed as a tween. But the minute she starting hanging out with that Mandy woman? That was it for me. I slowly started to see the change in her and it really bothered me. Why the fuck was Mandy, a RACEY 21 year old hanging out with Miley, a INNOCENT 15 year old? It just didn't sit well with me. And she's become more and more annoying as time has gone on. Recently she even like, apparently, freaked out over Radiohead not wanting to meet her at the Grammys? She apparently tried to use her fame to get a chance to meet them, and it didn't work. So she threw a hissy fit. Started complaining on radio shows about how Radiohead were jerks for not making time for precious Miley. It was ridiculous. I'm just not impressed with her right now.

VicMorrowsGhost said...

I got a 44.45 out of a 100 for my final year, which was craptastic. I went on to get a Diploma in Design and a Degree in Multimedia. Final year marks are irrelevant 30 seconds after you arrive at collage. You're a writer, just mark it down as another experience to draw on.

Mary said...

i had prom just a couple of weeks ago, and had a blast. i know you will too. :)

i like the editorial, you're really good at that sort of writing.

Hema said...

'She carries herself with a womanlike maturity' ?!?!?

WTF? Did you see her on Johnathan Ross last week? Probably not, I doubt it was on BBC America... youtube it. She was so blunt and rude. Texting during other peoples interviews? Yelling 'see my movie!' over and over again? I'm a sucker for her music, but as a person, from what I've seen, I dislike her. a lot.

ps. I've checked my spelling about 40 times now because YOU may or may not read this haha

Pippa said...

Oh, Miley Cyrus. The thing is I personally don't like her music or her show but I don't expect her to be anything other than what she is.

Have fun at prom!!

erin meagan said...

That is a great piece!

Purple Giraffe said...

I disagree with the person who says she was a disgrace on Jonathan Ross. I've never seen Hannah Montana or watched an interview with Miley but just from that interview I now adore her. She's so ballsy and confident for her age I couldn't help but like her. She deals with her fame so well and is so mature, I hope her success carries on in the future.

Jaitee said...

I don't really feel that strongly about Miley Cryrus either way, the most attention I pay to her is from what I hear in What the Buck videos) but I'm glad you respect her. It's refreshing to see someone who's appreciative but not obsessive.
My prom's tonight too! I hope we both have an awesome times!

bassrocks9 said...

Yeah, ok, maybe Miley isn't the worst singer ever, but I am still personally offended by the photo where she and her friends are making the "Asian eye." She said she was just messing around, but what kind of teenager sits around making racially discriminate faces to the camera? Maybe she's just 16, but come on.

Rachel said...

I loved your article, sorry about your test. What book was it anyways?

Have fun at prom =)

Adrienne said...

sorry about that test :(
what happened to the continuation of BEDA? I miss your blogs; they would make my day.

Kristina said...

.... why can't I like Miley Cyrus AND be a Pokémon master?


I saw the Hannah Montana Movie. What.

Keiko.LeMon said...

Hi there. I have been reading your blog for a while now and I have yet to comment. But I just wanted to say that I really really enjoy reading your blog, and I do thing you're a great writer with heaps and heaps of raw talent and lots of potential. I can not wait to see how your future goes! Best of luck.

-Keiko

Lucy said...

Sorry about your test. The opposite happened to me in English. I had to have a "talk" with the teacher about why I had gotten less than a D. However, a month later I found out that she hadn't added up right and I had actually got a B. She just overlooked 15 marks.

I agree about Miley Cyrus and actually I am going to see the Hannah Montanna Movie in an hour.

Have a good prom!

lindsey said...

I loved 'The Climb' before I knew Miley sang it. Then I hated it. Then I read your blog, Hayley, and you have convinced me not to discriminate against DC stars. You are the ultimate Hannah MonAdvocate. Thank you.

Larangutang said...

I'm a little behind, but I hope you had a really good time at prom.

A.J. James Brooks said...

I hope your PROM was amazing I hope the boy from forever was the perfect date... and a bit selfishly I hope you post tonight.

PS I took a picture in the grocery store today, the display made me think of you....

www.sandboxfiles.blogspot.com

Rufus Wainwright said...

Hope your prom was AMAZING! Your readers are in suspense! :)

Daniel said...

Hayley!! We're dying in suspense to hear about your amazing prom!

thesummer said...

THANK YOU HAYLEY.

I really love Miley Cyrus, and I hate that when I tell people I like her, there's this automatic face people get like they think I'm trying to be ironic and failing.

I agree that she's flawed, but I don't think every famous child has to act like a Dakota Fanning mini-adult all the time. The thing that actually amazes me about Miley it that she is just SO MILEY. I could have never been so absolutely MYSELF at any time in my life and especially at 15.

And I love her music. I really do. As I Am? Right Here? Bigger than Us? THE CLIMB? I could go on all day. And she really does sing live!

Anyway, I guess what I mean is... well said. :)

-from a 22-year-old Miley fan. (proof that you can be a college graduate and love the Miley!)

Kristin said...

I TOTALLY agree with you about Miley. I was first annoyed by her show. The acting was bad. The plot was dumb. One day, I just gave in. I accepted that I loved it. Don't even get me started on her music. The Hannah songs, the Miley songs, I love it all. And I think she is just a really great girl. I went on youtube one day and watched a ton of her interviews, and I love the way she carries herself. She is under a lot of pressure and scrutiny for someone so young. I think she handles it all well.

My age? 23!

durtei. said...

Okay. So with the proper scanning over this blogsite, i think this post caught my attention.

it forced me to read your every single rant.

hi haley.
YOU ARE AWESOME. :)

Kara said...

She seems like a really cool girl, smart, nice enough, funny etc. Have you ever seen any of her youtube videos? The only time i saw her go real ditzy was at the OOTP premiere . LMAO you should see if you can find video of that on youtube it was really funny some of the responces she was giving these reporter/ papparazi iDk people. I remember when Hannah montana first came out it legitimately pissed me off, but i actually quite like it now lol. Except for the really quirky Disney moments and those repetitive jokes they use every episode it's cool.

OMG IM SO SORRY APPARENTLY I HAVE A LOT TO SAY ON HANNAH MONTANA;

In every episode of the new season for a While they mentioned harry potter in everyone. Like legitimatley not faint references. Using character names and all.

"Lilly VOLDEMORT would look cute with that puppy!"

Speaking of what school shes going to in london "Hogwarts"

The most blatent one; Talking about how one of the characters is going to sneak into one place or another i dont remember "What are you going to use Harry potters cloak of invisibility?!"

And another episode one of the Plot lines revolved aroynd her on a talk show one of the hosts asked "So Hannah have you read the Harry Potters?" She replies "i just like to wait for the movies" so kids all across americ stopped reading and waited for movies.


Hahahahhs i don't know where Disney came up with the connection between harry potter& hannah montana but as far as i'm concerned it's just REALLY Random! Lol iDk.

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You have tested it and writing form your personal experience or you find some information online?

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EmilyMIchelle said...

I was just reading though your old blogs, hayley, and you said something along the lines of Miley won't do drugs or something like that. Wow were you wrong!! hahaha, I think she was talented but threw it all away.....

:) love you! Kepp doing your blogs!

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