It's nice outside, so I asked my dog, Lex, if she would like to go for a walk with me. "Would you like to go for a walk with me?" I asked Lex. She gleefully responded, "Why yes, I would love to dart unexpectedly up some mountains!" This would be fine and dandy on your average day, but alas, Lex and I were connected by a leash.
So today I worked out... against my will. Meanwhile, though, I was reminded that sometimes it sort of feels, like, good. This spurred on a list.
Ten easy ways to gain ten pounds:
1. Spend the majority of your time sitting sedentary in front of the computer.
2. Go on vacation.
3. Live primarily for a 955-calorie burrito.
4. Overdose on carbs because you're a vegetarian and, therefore, constantly hungry.
5. Break up with your serious boyfriend.
6. Quit cross-country running to be in musicals.
7. And also because you hate running.
8. Take a cooking class.
9. Finish puberty.
10. Really, really like food.
Ten reasons to lose ten pounds:
1. Be a member of a collab channel alongside four of nature's most beautiful women.
2. Receive an email calling you the fat, ugly one.
3. Be preparing for college, where first impressions are everywhere.
4. Be preparing for college, where most people naturally put on weight.
5. Read Nikki (babyporridge)'s blog and feel guilty.
6. It's possible that you appreciate food more on a less-full stomach?
7. Feel really gross and insecure all the time.
8. Live under the threat that at any time someone could recognize you from the internet.
9. Have a month left until major picture-taking opportunities like prom, graduation and summer.
10. Be of the most appropriate age to wear a bikini.
In youtubely news, the comments on the fiveawesomegirls/5awesomegays Baby Gift Exchange video continue to get funnier and funnier. How can anyone think we're serious?! Oh, youtube. You never cease to make me facepalm. Moving right along.
Sexy: Secret inscriptions on the insides of wedding bands, a la Baz Luhrmann's Romeo + Juliet.
Unsexy: Over-the-top public marriage proposals, especially performed by baseball mascots.
Chipotle burritos this year: 10
Days left of high school: 33
Bye, guys! See you tomorrow. <3