Sunday, April 5, 2009

Fat Ugly One

It's nice outside, so I asked my dog, Lex, if she would like to go for a walk with me. "Would you like to go for a walk with me?" I asked Lex. She gleefully responded, "Why yes, I would love to dart unexpectedly up some mountains!" This would be fine and dandy on your average day, but alas, Lex and I were connected by a leash.

So today I worked out... against my will. Meanwhile, though, I was reminded that sometimes it sort of feels, like, good. This spurred on a list.

Ten easy ways to gain ten pounds:
1. Spend the majority of your time sitting sedentary in front of the computer.
2. Go on vacation.
3. Live primarily for a 955-calorie burrito.
4. Overdose on carbs because you're a vegetarian and, therefore, constantly hungry.
5. Break up with your serious boyfriend.
6. Quit cross-country running to be in musicals.
7. And also because you hate running.
8. Take a cooking class.
9. Finish puberty.
10. Really, really like food.

Ten reasons to lose ten pounds:
1. Be a member of a collab channel alongside four of nature's most beautiful women.
2. Receive an email calling you the fat, ugly one.
3. Be preparing for college, where first impressions are everywhere.
4. Be preparing for college, where most people naturally put on weight.
5. Read Nikki (babyporridge)'s blog and feel guilty.
6. It's possible that you appreciate food more on a less-full stomach?
7. Feel really gross and insecure all the time.
8. Live under the threat that at any time someone could recognize you from the internet.
9. Have a month left until major picture-taking opportunities like prom, graduation and summer.
10. Be of the most appropriate age to wear a bikini.

In youtubely news, the comments on the fiveawesomegirls/5awesomegays Baby Gift Exchange video continue to get funnier and funnier. How can anyone think we're serious?! Oh, youtube. You never cease to make me facepalm. Moving right along.

Sexy: Secret inscriptions on the insides of wedding bands, a la Baz Luhrmann's Romeo + Juliet.
Unsexy: Over-the-top public marriage proposals, especially performed by baseball mascots.

Weight: 138
Chipotle burritos this year: 10
Subscribers: 14,799
Days left of high school: 33

Bye, guys! See you tomorrow. <3


Anonymous said...

I've not commented on here, just been reading your blog via Reader but it's always nice to let someone know their work's being read.

I love your writing style, I can hear you saying the words.Weird how that happens,right? Like when you read a letter and you can actually hear the sender's voice.
Anyways,shutting up.

Hailey said...

Speaking of over the top proposals...
This one isn't a marriage proposal, but whatever. During our ASB elections, this guy was running for secretary against his girlfriend. In his speech, he said "I have a question for someone special..." and then he went over to where she was sitting and asked her to prom. That's over the top, but I don't know about unsexy! Mostly just adorable. Anyways, I love your blog, and you are not the fat, ugly one. :)

Lauren said...

Someone may have admitted to planning on proposing to me on stage at a certain big concert we might both be playing in November, but then he realized that the show is before I graduate.

elizabethshodges said...

Whoever sent you that email is just a jerk. I hate stuff like that, it really gets me down.

I love your blog and your vlogs and just what you do in general, you're a very good rolemodel and my favorite of the 5AGs.

For some reason I can't "follow" your blog, I know that sounds stupid but I can't figure it out.

I swear I'm less of a creeper than this sounds...

lanna-lovely said...

Just thought I'd point out that none of the fiveawesomegirls are fat or ugly, you're definitely neither of those things and the person that sent that email is a bogey on the tissue of life. :]

Melissa Kendra said...

I think you're beautiful, and don't need to lose a pound, Hayley.
People are assholes.

goldensnitch said...

Hailey, you are beautiful just the way you are. You are not the fat ugly one and whoever wrote that was just jealous.

Leah said...

*shakes head*

I love us. Like, I can *hate* Romeo + Juliet while you love it, and yet we both find secret inscriptions sexy. Y'know?

I like you bloggin'. Just thought I'd get that out there. Also: YOU'RE FUCKING BEAUTIFUL GET THE HELL OVER YOURSELF, GOD.


Kristina said...

It never ceases to amaze me how similar we are.

I did track in middle school and then one day I woke up and said "I hate running."

And I quit.
And then I joined the dance team and quit that and THEN I did musicals. :D

thealphabet said...

On the weight issue, last winter all I ate was deep-dish pizza, Chipotle tacos, grilled cheese sandwiches, and cupcakes. I had at least one of those every other day. I gained 20 lbs in 6 months. How I lost it?

Biking. I biked from 5 to 20 miles a day. I can't drive, and it's the only way to get around for free!

I lost it ALL and then some, and biking is fun, bike with a friend!

P.S. Why does everyone always hate on Romeo + Juliet? I don't get it. I think it's pretty great.

<3 Corey

Rebecca said...

Oh sweetheart, you are NOT the "fat ugly one". none of the fiveawesomegirls are ugly or fat.

Whomever sent you that email is just a stupid, petty person. Who must thrive on making others feel bad to justify their own existence.

Heh, sorry. I hate haters. :P

IFTBA said...

I know your video wasn't serious, but I thought it was creepy anyway.

And you're the hottest fat ugly girl EVAR. HAWT. I won't tell you not to lose weight because that's rude. Do whatever you want. Or don't do whatever you want. Or do or don't do whatever you don't want.

Joey said...

Lol. Number eight on the ways to gain pounds is so true.

Ow. And you're beautiful. Screw the world.

lindsey said...

Just see one of the SAW movies. I don't think I ate for a week after that.

Chris Leben said...

I think you are the beautiful funny one. But whatever. My opinion matters for naught.


Sugandha said...

Hayley G Hoover,

Although I REAALLY need to be working right now, I read through all those entries and just ahhh...

I can't even explain it. Reading those entries made me realise that every single girl around the planet have the same insecurities, even if said girl might be popular on the internet. Really, you're beautiful, you really are!

And entertaining and well-written despite what you think.

I also agree about feeling like YouTube is such a big part of my life( I've never posted anything because I'm too paranoid and insecure but I obsessively watch numerous YouTubers and admire them) and there are people around me who only use it to watch music videos. They think I'm weird for watching strangers do weird things in front of a camera but it's like my little thing.

I don't even know what I'm trying to say here seem like a lovely person and I envy the strong friendships you've formed because of the internet <3


Sugandha said...

And it is an uncontested fact that Rosianna (missxrojas) is amazing!

Stefan said...

on the getting fat thread.. don't do what I do and equate starbucks hot chocolate with happiness:(

... man I want a hot chocolate now!

John said...

Don't tell the other girls, but I think you're the cutest of the 5AG.

And now to sound even more creepy: I had a dream about you the other night. We went to some type of live show. I don't remember much about it.

bryan said...

i know that nothing some random, faceless person on the internet will be able to influence your views, but you are the furthest thing from fat and ugly.

your haters can eat all the dicks.

Lewisissocool, right? said...

Lauren . . . wow. That comment :o

Matt said he might propose to you on stage? :D

Wow . . . what would you say? Oh, you made me excited! Hehe!

It's times like these that I'm glad to be a YouTuber, but so sad that I'm English and, therefore, can't attend all the amazing Wrock shows that you play in the States.


MonishaAyita said...

137 lbs is not even close to fat!!!
And I think your really pretty, so stop stressing and enjoy those burritos! (I know I do!)

MonishaAyita said...

137 lbs is not even close to fat!!!
And I think your really pretty, so stop stressing and enjoy those burritos! (I know I do!)

Lindsay said...

I know several people have already said it, but... YOU are BEAUTIFUL.

Gah, haters piss me off.

In other news, this blog made me laugh out loud twice. Thanks for being so awesome. :)

RoboFillet said...

Can I just take a moment to second all the supportive comments about you not being the fat ugly one? Chin up - you are beautiful.

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