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Monday, April 5, 2010

Ten Billion Readers!

Hello, lovely readers, and welcome to the fifth day of April. I would make some reference to BEDA being a sixth of the way done, but a) that implies that this challenge is a nuisance, when in actuality I love having the incentive to write daily, and b) I'm only fairly confident that thirty, divided by five, is six. Well-roundedness!

In news unrelated to my inability to count past ten, I'm thrilled that you guys got to take a Magic School Bus* roadtrip into the mind of The Situation yesterday. Perhaps now that you've seen how thoughtful and amusing he is, my "zomg my boyfriend is so awesome" gush-fests will come across as less nauseating. What a brilliant and genuine person! I could not be more grateful to have him, even if he were made of guacamole and phoenix feathers.

Still, I'm sorry for taking a day off early in the game; I was so completely taken aback by the response to my previous post that I needed a day to recuperate. I've been using every spare minute to read through comments, and I'm still nowhere near finished. Each time I refresh the page, more surveys come in. Right now, there are 582... but at the rate you fantastic people are typing, there could be ten billion comments by tomorrow night. That's right. Ten billion. I have more funny and interesting contacts than there are citizens of Earth.

Eh hem. Anyway, please believe me as much as you can after such sugar-fueled hyperbole as "I AM IN LOVE WITH TEN BILLION PEOPLE"-- It has been incredibly touching to read your comments**. Keshara, how did you manage to break your arms seven times? Abby, how are you managing to find time to read my dribble while you're in med school? Ellery, how have you managed to never eat Taco Bell?! Just... wow. You are all so interesting and sincerely appreciated.

One quick note, however. While the vast, vast majority of commenters who responded to my little "List several reasons why I'm cooler than Kristina Horner" joke were either very flattering to both Kristina and myself, or as equally silly ("You've eaten more Chipotle this year!"), there were a few sort of irresponsible comments that need to be addressed. Kristina and I maintain a playful, fictional rivalry because we have similar talents and interests, and because we're very good friends. Naturally, when you're frequently competing (on a public platform) against someone you both highly respect and want to be more like, comparisons are going to be drawn between the two of you. But, unlike with celebrities and politicians, we're totally average people who spend way too much time online, and our totally average feelings can still be hurt, despite the thicker skin we've grown from subjecting ourselves to criticism for a living. I'm not scolding you, because you guys are smart and kind, and were not intending to offend anyone. But please-- our jabs at each other are all in good fun, and it does not flatter me in the slightest to see myself ranked against my friend, even when I come out on top. I adore Kristina for the same reasons that you all do, with the added bonus of knowing her non-internet personality. She is a beautiful person and wonderful friend, and I apologize if I don't make my respect for her clear enough.

In other news, some of the black ink stars I was drawing on my skin last night are still visible, so I'm going to go hop awkwardly in the shower, whilst scrubbing at my left foot. Once again, thank you for caring enough to read this blog-- you make me feel like my dream of writing professionally could come true. I'll see you tomorrow!

Chipotle burritos this year: 13
Nail color: "Plum's the Word," Sally Hansen Salon
Subscribers: 26,570

*What kind of school has, like, eight students in a class? And where are these kids' PARENTS? I wonder how many lawsuits were filed against Miss Frizzle after the whole "Let's go inside the redhead" debacle.
**Especially you, Nicole. I've never endured anything in my life that could compare to beating cancer. You are amazing.

60 comments:

Emily said...

I don't think Ten Billion is pushing it, aliens definitely have WiFi, and they've probably had the iPad for years...

And it was cool getting to hear from The Situation. I commend you on your excellent choice of romantic interest. =]

alyson said...

I'm impressed that you did math in your blog post. I stray away from a simple 2+5 deal, so division? Bravo.

I can't even wrap my mind around the vast amount that is 10 billion.

It's a good thing you're an amazing writer, because otherwise I'm sure everyone would want to be exposed to The Situation's adorable-ness every day in blog form.

Pip said...

You deserve ten billion readers, Hayley! You're so witty and such a great writer. I honestly enjoy reading your blog every day.

And I know I also took time Saturday to comment on Kristina's blog and tell her how awesome she is. All of the awesome girls are equally awesome in my opinion!

Catharine said...

I hope mine wasn't one of the comments considered unkind. I hope if was obvious I was joking when I said you were cooler because I'd seen you in real life.

I loved hearing from The Situation yesterday (well, actually I just read it five minutes ago, but I was pretending) and I'm so excited that there are still 25 days of BEDA left (I think... I'm also not too good at math)

Snottlebie said...

Ah Magic School Bus...I had the computer game for a dinosaur field trip and it was pretty epic (despite the frequent ERROR messages that could crush a 10 year old's fun in record speed), though not as epic as having 10 billion blog comments.

Can't wait for tommorrow's blog! Seriously, they're awesome.

KaraDawlish said...

You're great Hayley.
The End.

Zombie said...

This is kind of random but.....
You give me hope with every blog post. It's nice knowing that someone with similar interests made it out of high school and that there is something better than the hell I'm enduring right now.

Love you, Hayley G!

The Dreamers said...

To answer your rhetorical question, the BEST kind of school. Are you kidding me? The Magic School bus? That teacher may have been one crazy bitch, but that class would have been FUN.

Oh, and I'm glad to see that the extra-terrestrials are finally getting to reading your blog :)

GuitarGirl said...

Since you have ten billion readers now, I don't believe you have much to worry about in the professional writing career. If you have more readers than there are residents of Planet Earth, you'll be pretty well off, don't you agree?

I can't wait to read your first published novel.

Robyn said...

The Magic School Bus, nostalgia. Personally, I always hated field trips, but I loved the show.
And, after reading your second paragraph, I couldn't help but picture Mike (based on what I've seen in videos) carrying two bowls of guacamole - one in each hand - and covered in phoenix feathers, like some kind of elaborate halloween costume. Um, yeah, anyway...

alimarie_11 said...

My heart gets fuzzy when people admire or are interested in on the interner are just as interested in me.

That is devotion, for you to read every single reply to your survey! thanks hayley!

K. M. Currie said...

AHA! I have finally succeeded in finding this post early enough to avoid getting skipped over by bleary eyes trying to finish reading 600 comments.

Just wish I had saved something profound to say for the occasion :[ As it is, I've been fresh out of profound for like... the past 10 years.

Still, I can commiserate with the lacking-in-math-skills part. Today in class we reviewed for the exam on Wednesday. Quadratic equations, programs on the calculator I have no idea how to use, determining a difference of two squares- is your stomach turning yet? It's bad enough I have the mathematic prowess of a burrito, but to add insult to injury and make me take an EXAM? Ugh.

In good news, less than a month of school left for the year, my new job starts tomorrow, and it's almost time for the nasty river water, sunscreen, and outdoor movies in the park that make summer in the country so worthwhile. PLUS: Adventurecon is in Pigeon Forge, TN in May, I'll be there for anyone going. At it will be great. Can't go wrong showing up to an event I'M going to be at, come on now.

Abbie said...

I was so excited when you referenced The Magic School Bus. Major childhood nostalgia! I remember watching that show all the time. And I'm pretty sure I owned some books at one time. Maybe I still do?!

Anyway, that series was pretty much the only beam of light in my public-schooled, non-cable-tv-ed, excessively-bookish adolescence (just kidding, I had a pretty good childhood, but The Magic School Bus was definitely a bright spot). And I always forget other people know it exists!

It was cool hearing from The Situation. I haven't been a reader/subscriber/follower/creeper/whatever-you-want-to-call-it for long, but it was nice to get a glimpse of the boy you mention. From what he said, you're a lucky girl. :)

alylurker said...

You deserve more than ten billion readers xD I love reading all your blogposts as they are just so witty and entertaining! And omg you did math??? -le gasp- xDD

Olivia said...

I MISS the Magic School Bus! Oh, and Wishbone! I LOVED Wishbone.

I really enjoyed The Situation's post yesterday. You caught a good one, Hayley. ;)

See you tomorrow!

Christina said...

Thanks so much for the Magic School Bus video. I loved that show when I was little. I also think you and Kristina both deserve to have 10 billion readers. You both are amazing.

Elizabeth said...

I feel like I should comment more regularly now. So... The Situation sounds and reads like so much awesomeness, and I'm really happy you get to be happy too. Because after Justin Timberlake you deserve happy.

Carma said...

I know you have a lot to read, Hayley, so I'll just say this. Love right back at you. You have no idea what a treat BEDA is for us. NO IDEA!

Sarah said...

I loved the Magic School Bus. Now that you mention it, though, I question it...how is it that they went on THAT many field trips? Went inside plants, even? What kind of school is that?! Maybe they were all insane, or on drugs... Okay, I'll stop.

Thank you for reading every single reply!

Katie said...

Oh man, the whole "Let's go inside the redhead" debacle was one of my favorites!! I always longed for a teacher like Ms. Frizzle and the MSB is the reason why I can slightly tolerate reptiles. I even almost think they're cute! But still no comparison to a fuzzy kitty or puppy. According to my research, animals of fuzzier nature win cute contests 93.141592654% more often than other creatures lacking in fuzzy features. (I'm attempting to channel Dorothy Ann, if you couldn't tell.) ;P

Michael W said...

You would not believe how often Magic School Bus comes up in general conversation at my school. Like, every other day. It's pretty ridiculous. I'll be in Biology and someone will just be like "Ohhh, this is just like that time that they shrunk down and explored that kid's intestines!" Not that I'm complaining - it's pretty great, actually.

Emily S. said...

What kind of class only has 8 students in it you ask? A totally awesome one!!!!! My eighth grade class only had 9 kids; 7 girls 2 boys.

lanna-lovely said...

Random, but while reading this post I realised that I can totally see you being one of those great authors.

There are thousands of books and authors that I love but there's this group of authors who write books that inspire me and stick with me - John Green, Melina Marchetta, Hemingway, J K Rowling, Lucy Christopher... there's not many of them, but somehow I get the feeling that if you become a published author you'll be one of them, one of the few that makes it into that group of great ones.

Even now, just the way you write your blog kind of reminds me of a mix of John Green, Maureen Johnson and E. Lockhart's awesomeness with a splash of something that is just distinctly Hayley thrown in (that's a big compliment coming from me).

But yeah, just thought I'd tell you that... maybe if I'm lucky it'll make you smile and it'll count towards my "make someone smile every day challenge". =P

to_thine_own_self said...

Oh, I believe that your dream of writing professionally most definitely will come true, Hayley =]

K-Mac said...

=)


you're a good friend to Kristina.


also, once your first book comes out I am buying it. I will probably buy several copies.

PlainJane said...

Thank you for the shoutout Hayley! I adore you and aspire to write as well as you one of these days, you ma'am are amazing! Keep up the great work.

,3

Scott said...

1. Reading my fellow commenters surveys has been a wicked amount of fun! Especially the regulars, whose names I've been seeing and responding to over the past year, but knew nothing about. You've built a great community here!

2. You get MAD street cred' for making that Magic School Bus footnote. I bow to you.

3. WGWG TOMORROW. askdjfbaslkdjfbaslk

Holly said...

It's so sweet that both blogger and readers are gushing about how much we equally adore each other. <3

Dinah said...

Oh darlingest Hayley,
you are so wonderful.

You are just so great.
And it's not just the wine talking.

I'm wondering if you have a P.O box yet or at least somewhere to send (fan) mail of some sort? I work for an exam center and finals are coming up so I'll be doing a lot of sitting and...blank-ing for the next few weeks and I would love to send you a letter.

I am so so happy for you and your wonderful "sitch."

p.s I have fallen in love with "Top Chef" and I think you should too.

p.p.s I am one of those unfortunate few (Canadian) readers who have yet to explore the flavour wonders of Chipotle...sadface.

kalimagination said...

Because I'm about as bad at math as you claim to be (and because I'm tired), when I read the title of this blog, I honestly thought you had 10 billion readers and I was like "NO WAY!?!"

But for seriousness, if any blog should have almost twice the population of the earth reading it, it is The Hayleylujah Chorus.

kira902k said...

I'm proud to be one of your ten billion readers. :)

<3

-alex

OH i just had an idea.
You should tour with Kristina and Lauren during the ROFLCOPTOUR.
Sure you don't play music, but you could totally just come along and be funny.
It's not fair that all the other cool people on the internet (5AG, vlogbrothers, wizard rockers) get to meet all their fans, but you don't!
Please come. <3

Kris said...

Of course I finally think of an interesting fact after the fact (isn't that how it always goes?) In addition to what Alan had to say about me...

I have never eaten a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Oh yes. That's right.

Keshara said...

Haha, everyone is always surprised my my bone braking. I was just an incredibly clumsy child/teenager. I still am, I suppose, to some extent.

sam0nella said...

Why can't we just settle this and say LAUREN is the best?

Haha just kidding. I love you all! :P

Krissy said...

It's funny that you mentioned the person who never had Taco Bell. I have had that, but never Chipotle! I was actually right across the street from one the other day and almost went in, just for you, but it didn't happen.

owlet25 said...

What kind of school has eight students in a class? The kind I went to for eight years...

Don't feel too bad about your math abilities. At my school I'm in the "Math for Poets" type class and yet we routinely can do better arithmetic than the kids in calculus. They've been using calculators so long they literally have trouble adding in their heads. So who knows, you might get thirty divided by five quicker than a math major would.

Nicky said...

Ten billion people? Zombies must be reading your blog. Which must mean that your writing is bringing people back to life. Which means that your writing is THE ELIXER OF LIFE. :D

...you just cured world-wide illness and/or death. Congratulations!

Christina said...

I'm going to try to leave a comment on every one of your posts from now on. Except I have nothing witty to say because I'm using up all my extra energy to write a political science paper :(. Anyway, I just want to say that I'm glad you're doing BEDA, because without it I wouldn't be able to read a new post from you every day :)

Emily said...

Ohmygoodness, I used to LOVE The Magic Schoolbus!
I can't believe people would try to compare you and Kristina and choose one above the other! You're both amazing and brilliant and talented and beautiful individuals, and I feel privileged that you both give us such glimpses into your lives so we can feel like we know you, even a little. Hayley, I love you, and Kristina? If you're reading this: I love you too.
It was great to hear from The Situation yesterday! He seems SUPER sweet. You did good, Ms. Hoover.

BenCracknell said...

I am completely failing maths, so for all I know you could have said that 30 divided by 5 was 12 and I would have believed it.
In other non related news, I think the way you summed up yours and Kristina's relationship was amazing. I've never had such a high level of respect for a friendship, and seeing what you two have endured, and you're still manage to stay friends...Wow.

Have a good day!
x

KateyMatey said...

10 billion? Don't be modest. Doubling would be more accurate.

And I loved reading through the survey comments the other day. I'm always interested in where people are located...I mean that in a non-creepy way.

I'm already dreading April ending. Blog forever, please?

That bloggers blog said...

omg magic school bus was like the best tv show haha hmmm ur boyfriend gushes are still gag worthy haha but thats just me i like when people are happy the fact that u read all those surveys just proves ur awesomeness

Stephanie said...

Senior year of high school we needed to do group presentations on the brain, and my group decided to get creative and do a video...in the style of Magic School Bus. We went into our teachers brain and had quite an adventure!

I love that show.

Sarah said...

haha sorry Hayley for just adding to the long list of survey comments! Late to the party this time ;-)

And I am loving this BEDA thing... I get a Hayley post everyday to look forward to

Yeeeesssss!

Lorena said...

I really hope you *do* make it professionally. I'd definitely buy your books, I wouldn't think twice. You'd be Maureen Johnson II.

muse88 said...

Hayley! You are amazing - your blog entertains and inspires us each day, and you do nothing but thank your readers. But we should really be thanking you. You have a life, no one expects you to take time out of your day to read every single comment, to address them in your blog or anything for that matter. You're a wee star!! Major major appreciation to you from all your readers xoxo

partyweetow said...

"Let's go inside the redhead" debacle? How about the "Let's go into outer space and release a kid? debacle? Something was seriously wrong with Ms. Frizzle.

VTBurninator said...

*I went to a school that was kindergarten thru 8th grade with only 95 students in the whole school. I'm no math whiz, but that averages to about 10 kids a grade level. We had combined grades so when I was in 5th grade my class was 5th and 4th graders. It was in the German Alps, in an area that had very few Americans. The best part about going to a small school is they have awesome field trips. I mean we didn't journey inside people's bodies or fly through space, but we did get to go to school only half days on Wednesdays (Oct-March). In the afternoons we got to learn to ski as part of the curriculum..."Wonderful Wednesdays!"

Nokorola said...

Ride on the Magic School Bus!

Have a super Tuesday! (and not like during the elections)

Ida said...

I'm sitting here watching the Magic School Bus clip and thinking "who the hell would watch this crap", then I realise, had I seen it when I was younger I would have been all gitty and aaw-y now. Aaw-y, that's a word.
I mean, The Busy World of Richard Scarry was my favorite TV show, and that's about a worm, as tall as a hippo, who flies around in an apple.

Daniella said...

Wanna see this post translated into English from Japanese which was translated from the original English using the Google translator? My favourite bit is near the end where it says, "you make me feel like I dream of writing a professional dream".

Hello, lovely readers, welcome to the fifth day of April. I have been the sixth to do way Beda, a), the problem is annoying, I actually daily incentives to create a reference to some means that I like to write b) I am very confident that 30 to 5:00, and 06 split. Well roundedness!

And I can not count past 10 without regard to price, I did you yesterday Magic School Bus in the heart were present * It's nice to take the venture. Perhaps now is how thoughtful he is my fun "zomg my boyfriend, so" great gush - I've seen it come across as a hideous little tight. What vibrant, real people! Even if I have to thank him, but he could not be made guacamole and phoenix feathers.

Still, I'm sorry to take off early in the game, I'm depending on my previous post was taken aback so totally need to recover one day. Using every spare minute I read the comments, and I are still far from finished. Whenever I refresh the page and turn more research so far is 582 ... However, rates have entered the wonderful people can be 10 million comments tomorrow night. Yes. 10 billion yen. I'm more interesting than the Earth is a citizen of interesting contacts.

S hem. Anyway, after as many as you can, please believe me that sugar fuels like hyperbole, "I love the sky in a million useful" - that is incredible feedback * * touching to read Keshara, seven were able to break your arm it? Abby, how your time while in medical school, have managed to find my reading dribble? Ellery, managed to eat and how Taco Bell! ? Just ... wow. In all of the interesting heartfelt welcome.

But one quick note. Both very one Kristina myself and compliment stupid or even ("You are my little had eaten Chipotle more to this" vast commenters support some reason the list, most What I'm cooler Kurisutinahona "This year is a joke!"), was sort of irresponsible comments should be addressed. Kristina and because we have similar talents and interests are, I'm playful, imaginary maintaining competition, because we are very good friends. Naturally, when often (on a public platform), both highly respected, and I want to be competing against more people will be drawn between the two cases are going to compare. However, politicians and celebrities and, unlike our people on the full spend to buy too much time, we have and feeling mean absolutely can hurt yet, we have one for a living criticism Despite the thick skin grown from applying itself. You are so smart and kind, I do not intend to scold you did not offend people. Please, however - and look forward to all the good in each other jab us, that even if the display rank my friends and himself at all, in compliment to me come on I do not. I have the same reason, all worship at Christina added bonus for non-Internet to know her personality. She is a beautiful person and wonderful friend, I clearly does not respect her enough, I apologize.

In other news, the star was drawn last night on my skin in black ink on some of it still visible, I was embarrassed, I'm going to go hop in the shower to scrub with the left foot of my . Again, thank you for caring enough to read this blog - you make me feel like I dream of writing a professional dream. Tomorrow I please see you!

Abby said...

There is always time for your blog, Hayley! No matter how crazy med school gets, I will always enjoy reading your ramblings :)

Ida said...

And by realise, I of course mean realize.

Manuel said...

Finally! I found a group of people i can relate to and we're OVER TEN BILLION! Yay!

I really hope that your dream comes true because i need more books from awesome writers to read, Hayley. :)

Gomezzio said...

One of the ads on your blog is a t-shirt that says "I'm disappointed in you're grammar." Oh, google ads.

Kai said...

I love reading your blog, and I'm so happy that you have so many readers!
I do have an idea for you, though. Since Kristina did a collab with Mike, I think we'd all like to see you do some sort of collab with Luke! haha.

Katie said...

Don't worry Hayley. You will write great books and make tons of people happy with your great books. All ten billion of your blog readers.

(:

thebrookereview said...

Love the Magic School Bus reference. Man, I wish I was a kid to watch that show again as well as Doug, Hey Arnold, Rugrats, ad nauseum.

Clearly, this is now evidence with these TEN BILLION READERS, when you get a book published it will me much adored. Seriously, work on that will you because I'd really love to have one on my bookshelf sooner rather than later. Kidding..kind of. I really would like a book written by you but take it at your own pace.

Sammie said...

I have officially finished reading all your old posts! Seriously you are great! Haha, and just so we're clear i do normally have a life....haha..my friends are all in the midst of exams, and i had taken this year-have a lot of spare time.

Anyway! Im pretty psyched that i will now get to read in the present day....haha!

Thanks for everything! :)

xoxWHOAxox said...

Umm, schools with obnoxiously small classes are out there. My junior high school, for example. We had ten kids in my late french immersion class in grade eight, and apparently there is less than than that in the grade seven class this year. But then again, we had about a hundred kids in the entire junior high, so... yeah.