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Friday, April 16, 2010

Suuuuccckkkssss

For some reason, I feel really strange coming to you guys in an unhappy mood. This time last year, all I ever posted was a messy cacophony of "nobody understaaaaands me"s, but now that I'm a Happy Person, I find myself suppressing guilt for publishing anything other than rainbows and puppies. Ah, well. Even my sadness is due to an overload of happiness.

In case you're wondering, no, there's nothing wrong. I had a lot of fun at the concert last night. Ben Folds is so freaking awesome. He played this song, which had me gasping for breath, I was laughing so hard... but that gasping may have also been due to how unbearably hot it was inside. And I mean unbearably. Like, losing-ten-pounds-instantly, might-pass-out-in-a-sweat-puddle, images-of-a-jaunty-Satan-dancing-in-my-head. My thin cotton dress felt like a parka filled with insulation. I lived to tell the tale, though. Ever to my rescue, The Situation lifted my hair up and blew cold air on the back of my neck. Because he's the kind of guy who thinks to do stuff like that.

Which brings us to the shameful melancholy. I'm effervescently in love, and we make the whole "long distance" thing work without much effort, but, in the event that you've never had to say a long-term goodbye to your boyfriend about twice a month, LET ME TELL YOU, IT SUCKS. I don't mean to go all Bella Swan on you, and I promise I'm not about to jump off a cliff or lie in the woods and scream, but I just feel so... uh, I don't know. Homesick. Off. Hollow. Or something like those words.

Gosh, I can't find a way to describe it without sounding completely melodramatic. There are no goopy black mascara tracks down my cheeks, I'm not clutching a shoebox full of his used tissues. However, I will admit to changing into my pajamas early, eating pizza rolls, and turning off my phone, to make for optimal grieving conditions. But I'll get back into the swing of things tomorrow, and I'll recover. For now... I just feel blaaah.

Sorry, guys. To make up for it, here's something hilarious. And for those of you outside the US who can't access Hulu, um, here. That's pretty funny as well.

Chipotle burritos this year: 13
Subscribers: 27,127
Nail color: "Green with Envy," ORLY

P.S. I just received some AMAZING news. I'm not totally sure if I'm allowed to share it with the whole world just yet, but something very, very good is currently happening for a friend of mine. A friend a lot of you are likely to follow online.

45 comments:

Monica said...

Everybody knows... Draco & the Malfoys spilled the beans, and Matt confirmed. :-)

I'm so excited for them!! <3

Lauren said...

omigosh, that's great! honestly though, it was only a matter of time ;)

to_thine_own_self said...

Aww, I'm sorry for your feeling of blahness, but I know you'll feel better soon.
And, btw, you don't have to apologize for describing how your feeling (no matter if it's good or bad) in your own blog. That's what a blog is for. You're allowed to be melodramatic sometimes. Haha.

Anyway, have a good weekend, Hayley =]

Leslie Rowen said...

I'm guessing Kristina is in??? :D

Ben Folds is GREAT in concert!!!

to_thine_own_self said...

Oh, P.S. Hayley, don't you just love Tina Fey and SNL?
That brownie husband thing was so hilarious. I watched it live and I think I actually did a real-life spit take. Hah.

Chrystie said...

I'm sorry :( It does suck saying goodbye. seriously. Plus, feel free to vent on your own blog! geez. haha.


I'm SO excited for Matt and Lauren!!!! yay!! *happy dances*

Emily said...

Your melancholy post is surprisingly non-melancholy. Hope you're feeling better soon! =] And tomorrow is just another day closer to the next time you see The Situation.

to_thine_own_self said...

P.S. #2 Oh my gosh, I just found out the news as well and I'm so happy for them! Lol.
Haha aww <333

Anyway, I also just read back my first comment and realized that I made a huge grammatical error. I used "your" instead of "you're" once. Ahh...that drives me crazy, but oh well. You know what I mean XD

Marlena said...

You're allowed to feel blah. It's sucky situation, aside from the fact that it's a wonderful situation. (and a wonderful Situation)
Maybe you should start sending letters (because I know how good you are at mailing stuff. Cough), and thenyou can meet at a beach and he can draw you a picture of the ocean with a whale spout in the distance.

Now that I've made stupid jokes and referenced Jaclyn Moriarty, I think my job here is done.

Jordiekins said...

OMGZZ MATT 'N" LOREN. OMG.

The fandom exploded, didn't it?

Have a nice weekend, I'll be gone, but I'll catch up on Monday.

<3

Cece said...

Ah! I just found out! YAY I LOVE THEM! :D

Anyway, to repeat what everyone else has said, it's YOUR blog. Most of us read all your old blogs when you weren't such a Happy Person, we can do it again.
I know I hate feeling crappy and then feeling like I can't act crappy even though I really don't want to be Smiley-Face.
Just keep writing, we'll keep reading.

Eddy said...

Yay! Matt and Lauren. They make such a great couple. I knew it was just a matter of time.

Casey said...

Don't feel bad about the 'blah posts' it is your blog. And we don't want you to act all happy if your sad, just tell us how you feel! <3

And YAYYY for Lauren and Matt!! <33

Dinah said...

Hayley,

I have done the long distance thing before...for a year and a half. It's really hard. And we didn't have skype and i-sight like you kids do nowadays /old-person-rant-from-someone-who-is-22./

I just want you to know that I totally feel you on the whole, hollow, empty, off, lacking, longing, frustrating, intense thing.

Drop me a line if you wanna commiserate.
e.g. You: "It sucks"
Me: "I know"

e-mail: dsteele@uvic.ca

xox

shannancy said...

Hayley, we should be friends.

I know I don't comment often (I promise I'm working on that), but every time I read your blog, I'm struck by how very similar we are, in personality and situation.

I'm not going to explain all of our similarities in a comment, that would be silly, but here's a thing:
I completely understand your blahness right now, for I too, find myself in a long-distance relationship, and that hollow, empty feeling makes me hate Canada and geography.
Oh, and on my six-hour drives to my boyfriend, I'm always Mimi.

<3

Scott said...

1. Summer is just around the corner, don't worry! Then you'll have lots of situational time!

2. ZOMG! FELLOW COMMENTER DINAH, WE GO TO THE SAME UNIVERSITY!

Maggie said...

Hey, Hayley, would you mind specifying exactly when it's "early" to be wearing your pajamas? I don't believe there is such a thing, as I never really change out of mine, despite William Sledd's adamant disapproval.

And just because everyone else is commenting on your hesitance when posting sad things, I really dig angst. I'm a teenager. I'm a girl. I can relate even if I have not experienced the particular events you have. Emotion, in general, when expressed in a public forum can mean the world to someone, let them know they aren't the only one feeling that. Don't hold back.

Krazy_4_Kelly said...

I'm SO excited for Matt and Lauren!

I'm sorry you're in a bad mood about leaving The Situation. You'll feel better and more like a Happy Person again soon =)

Sarah said...

If it makes you feel any better Hayley, I'm going through the exact same thing with my boyfriend (who is away on business/study at the moment) and today really sucks - you may not be gooppy mascara girl, with a box of tissues, but I am. Shit happened today, and I don't know what to do.

But... yeah. Sucks to be me today.

Hope you feel better soon, and I hope I do too. x

Lindsey said...

Aww, you shouldn't feel bad about getting all blah on your blog. We choose to be here :)

And I think... I think you just got me into Ben Folds with that song.... Idk, I'll have to look into it, but just know that it's all your fault.

BenCracknell said...

I just searched for about an hour online trying to find out that happened, then I finally just gave up and went on Facebook, and found out! I am so unbelievably happy for the two of them. Now that they're sorted we just need you and your conditioner to tie the knot and it'll be a perfect YouTube channel.

I'm truly sorry that you're feeling blah, but remember that if ever you need cheering up then your devoted blog readers will try and do the job. Ask as things. Ask us to tell you a joke. You name it, we'll do it.

Have a good day!

Sidsel said...

Is Kristina going to be America's next super duper top ├╝ber model, or whatever it's called?

If so... she would have to stop vloggin, bloggin and everything, wouldn't she?

Sidsel said...

Or is Lauren getting married?!?!

Emily said...

I know that feeling. I did long-distance my freshman year of college too. He lived two hours away and we saw each other about twice a month. He would come for a Saturday, and I would be so ridiculously excited, and then completely devastated when he left. I had nothing to look forward to anymore except the pile of homework I had been neglecting.

Being in a long-distance relationship is like having a constant ache. I think it's hard for people to understand that it's like going through a mini break-up every time he leaves. It's frustrating because you want that person to be IN your life, not just hear about it.

But there is hope. We made it through that awful year of long distance, and we've been together ever since. About a year ago we got married and lived happily ever after. (Well, I'm only 23, but it's pretty perfect so far).

Justine said...

My first serious boyfriend I dated from the end of my senior year in high school to the beginning of my junior year in college. It was a mistake in a lot of ways because I spent all my energy on trying to be with him (he was at a school 90 miles away and we didn't have cars) and I didn't really live my life...as tempting as it might be to fall back on him and him alone, remember to still have fun in college and do new things.

The happy ending of this story...is that once I graduated from college and got a good-paying job (just before the recession!), I decided to try out another long-distance relationship that I knew I wanted but didn't want to throw myself in without having the means or the life stability. I live in D.C. now and he lives just north of London. We met at Prophecy2007 and started dating in November 2008...and he has just been approved for a fiance visa from U.S. immigration : ) we are getting married in September. Because of my job and his good savings, we were able to see each other nearly every month since late 2008 for about a week at a time. It has been enough for us because have grown to know our own identities without each other prior to dating and like others have said, have access to skype : )

Best of luck to you and your situation!

daiana said...

AHAHA brownie husband YESS!

I'm guessing the good news is that kristina is in ANTM?

I really dont know how you deal with a long distance relationship. I would not be a blie to do that. You must talk everyday though, right?

Thyme said...

I've done the long-distance thing for a while. I get it! The Monday after he leaves, I designate it "mopey monday" and let myself sulk for a few hours...before I suck it up and go back to compulsive texting. The longest we went apart was 6 weeks. It kinda was no fun.

RhianonLives said...

Damn it Hayley, now I feel left out xD When I read the ending of that post I thought Kristina was in the show, but now everyone's talking about Lauren and Matt, what's going onnnn???
Anyway, I know there's not much any of us can say to make being away from the Situation any easier. But I guess it's a good thing. In Portugal we have a saying, that would roughly translate to "everything you catch in your net is good fish". Meaning that everything that happens is a good thing and serves an ultimate purpose. It's a good thing that you miss him, because it means there's something important there :)
<3 sometimes your blog posts are one of the highlights of my day, especially in sucky weeks like this one.

Gomezzio said...

You don't need to apologize to us for being down, that's just how you feel. If you don't express to us how you feel, how can we try to make it better? :)

Chloe said...

Oh how I know that feeling. You want to have the best time when you are together but that makes parting so so much harder. But I really do believe that absence makes the heart grow fonder and that surviving a LDR makes you so much stronger as a couple. Only two years to go until I'm out of mine :) Good luck, Hayley <3

Sammie said...

I can imagine how sucky it would be to leave the bf...but in happy news! LAUREN & MATT! Yayyyy! :)

Alice said...

I saw Ben Folds in concert last month, he just fills you with this joy and happiness to be right there, in the moment.

Susie said...

Christian and I were long-distance for two years. We saw each other once a month. It sucked more than words can say. You two will get through it, though! Thank goodness for Skype, right?

alylurker said...

Lauren and Matt <333 I think everyone knew thanks to DATM xDD
And watching it on hulu right now xD Thanks for the link! Its hilarious!
I'm sorry that its so hard to say goodbye but don't let that stop you from having the fun you deserve!

Manuel said...

Your blog. Your blaah. :)

Dinah said...

HI COMMENTER SCOTT!!!
YAY FOR UVIC HAYLEY LOVERS!!!

Scott said...

YES! That's so funny! I wonder if anyone else at UVic reads this?! We could form a Hayley G Hoover Appreciation Society, hahaha!

Bel Glezer said...

Gooosh it's so amazing, but also kinda weird that I'm so excited for something so unrelated to my life! I feel as if I'm following a soap-opera, only it's true!

And I do feel happy for Lauren and Matt. I genuinely do. And they'll never know...

Emily said...

I've never been in a romantic long distance relationship, but my two best friends in existence whom I've known since birth live 600 miles away from me. I only get to see them once every few months if I'm lucky, and saying goodbye to them sucks SO MUCH every. time. I can very much relate to that feeling of being homesick and hollow and lonely. It's tough, and it sucks, and I get it. :/

On the up side, I am SO EXCITED for Matt and Lauren! :D

jenibo said...

I know how you feel. But... not really. I mean, I can relate to that whole icky Bella Swan feeling. It's not a happy place. (And it's so embarrassing!) But when you're with someone you love to death, the someone you are 99.9% sure is The Someone, being apart is terrible! I wish that you and I were friends and that we lived near each other, so on nights like these, we could keep each other company.

(I just realized that you wrote this entry yesterday... But I hope you get the message.)

Elisabeth said...

That's a perfectly all right reason to be down. That emptiness when you know that he's not there anymore, and all you want is his company... I would say that I know how you feel, except that what you feel is probably magnified several times, since my relationship isn't long distance. But think of this: every minute is one minute closer to seeing him again.

amp7734 said...

I understand long-term goodbyes.

My now fiance used to live in California while I lived in Texas. When we said goodbye we didn't know the next time we'd be in a room together. We went over a year that way. We visited each other three times in a little over a year. He moved in after that, and we've been living together for over a year now, engaged, happy and everything is amazing.

I went off on my own story there, sorry. I just wanted to say I understand your long-term goodbye pain. Good luck, it'll be alright. :D

amp7734 said...

I understand long-term goodbyes.

My now fiance used to live in California while I lived in Texas. When we said goodbye we didn't know the next time we'd be in a room together. We went over a year that way. We visited each other three times in a little over a year. He moved in after that, and we've been living together for over a year now, engaged, happy and everything is amazing.

I went off on my own story there, sorry. I just wanted to say I understand your long-term goodbye pain. Good luck, it'll be alright. :D

Nokorola said...

I'd say feel better, but it's been several months, sooooo yeah.

That SNL commercial is TOTALLY innapropriate Hayley, gosh!:-)

The ps confuses me, maybe I need to pay more attention to the intimate details of your life... or your friends' lives rather.

-Phillip

Anonymous said...

I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT. :/