FROM THE DESK OF 'THE SITUATION'
"Write my blog for me," Hayley whined. "And hurry up. You have an hour."
You guys should be lucky, for by guest-blogging, I am sparing you from another post of her whining about her weekend. You're not missing anything.
So I'm typing this on my laptop, in between stirring the pasta that I'm making myself on our brand-new, flat-top, "rich people" stove, and telling Hayley to use that pen she's holding to finish her homework, not to draw stars on her foot. She's protesting further: "My homework is to write, like, a fricken' thing about how I FEEL."
I really can't call it a 'rich people' stove anymore, because now my family has one, and we are definitely not rich. I will most likely not ever be rich, or at least not for a long time. That's one of the downsides of being a professional musician, but hey, I knew that going in, so I can't complain about it now.
That was one of the first conversations Hayley and I had at the start of our relationship. The "I write songs, you write words. We're most likely going to be very poor." And everyone is right-- as long as you're happy, it DOESN'T matter. But the real, responsible adult that my parents claim exists inside of me somewhere tells me that you need to have a plan in place for providing for your loved ones. And it wouldn't be fair to possible-future-wife Hayley or possible-future-stinky-covered-in-boogers children to do any less. But let's not put the trailer ahead of the llama, right?
Hayley didn't really give me any directive as to what I should be blogging about tonight. Nor do I share her grammatical finesse, so I hope you'll excuse any obscure violations of Proper Grammatical Syntax ®. Plus, until just now, I've never really had to try to write cohesive paragraphs while listening to Hayley alternate between professing her love for Lady Gaga and asking me questions that begin with things like "Hey Michael? If something...in the universe...exploded, or something, and what we know as day became night..." (EDIT: Now she's progressed to eating an entire container of strawberries.)
On more than one occasion, she has started off a conversation with "I LOVE my blog readers." So it's important for you guys to realize that you do have a real, measurable impact on the quality of her life. Although she whines about having to write, she really does get so much joy out of reading your comments and responses, and she always has stories to say about "One of my readers said...."
SO DON'T SAY ANYTHING BAD ABOUT ME. CAUSE I'LL FIND OUT.
This has really come full-circle, for me, because, when Hayley and I first started talking, I didn't read her blog. I wanted to get to know her through the things that we talked about, and stories she told me. Her blog was her personal space, and I didn't view it as my place to be involved. If she wanted me to know something, she would tell me. I still don't read her blog very often, but for different reasons-- not reading it allows me to sincerely ask, "How was your day?" and not already know the answer. Now you are reading this because I'm writing it and she's going to post it there.
Maybe I should abuse the power, and tell you a bunch of embarrassing stories about Hayley that she would absolutely kill me for divulging. But those are best saved for a video I'm working on with Kristina. Oh no, I fear I have said too much.
We talk a lot about writing, and making videos. Because we both do the same things, only in wildly different ways. When she makes a video, the product is that video, and that's the end result. There's scripts and costume changes and clever writing. When I make a video, I'm trying to share an announcement with my subscribers, or perform a new song that I've written. The video is the vessel for something else. So this is kind of a challenge for me. I'm used to writing songs, in which you get about 16 lines, and that's all the space you get to say whatever you're trying to say. I'm used to picking and choosing words very carefully, both for reasons of conserving "verbal real estate" and sonically-- as in, when writing music, the sound of the words as they leave your mouth is just as important as the meaning of those words. Here, however, both of those considerations do not apply, and so I fear this is mostly a pointless ramble of a blog entry. But that's what she gets for shirking her duties as Professional Blogger Girl to draw ink stars on the soles of her feet.
For reals, y'all, track me down on youtube or twitter if you'd like to chat about Miss Hayley, or ask for relationship advice, or watch all my videos and get really excited about my upcoming album. Just kidding. But seriously. No just kidding. But seriously.
Tomorrow, we return to your regularly scheduled Hayley.
And thank you for making my girlfriend happy.
Chipotle burritos this year: 0
Nail color: Are you kidding?