Sunday, April 4, 2010

The Situation Speaks


"Write my blog for me," Hayley whined. "And hurry up. You have an hour."
You guys should be lucky, for by guest-blogging, I am sparing you from another post of her whining about her weekend. You're not missing anything.

So I'm typing this on my laptop, in between stirring the pasta that I'm making myself on our brand-new, flat-top, "rich people" stove, and telling Hayley to use that pen she's holding to finish her homework, not to draw stars on her foot. She's protesting further: "My homework is to write, like, a fricken' thing about how I FEEL."

I really can't call it a 'rich people' stove anymore, because now my family has one, and we are definitely not rich. I will most likely not ever be rich, or at least not for a long time. That's one of the downsides of being a professional musician, but hey, I knew that going in, so I can't complain about it now.

That was one of the first conversations Hayley and I had at the start of our relationship. The "I write songs, you write words. We're most likely going to be very poor." And everyone is right-- as long as you're happy, it DOESN'T matter. But the real, responsible adult that my parents claim exists inside of me somewhere tells me that you need to have a plan in place for providing for your loved ones. And it wouldn't be fair to possible-future-wife Hayley or possible-future-stinky-covered-in-boogers children to do any less. But let's not put the trailer ahead of the llama, right?

Hayley didn't really give me any directive as to what I should be blogging about tonight. Nor do I share her grammatical finesse, so I hope you'll excuse any obscure violations of Proper Grammatical Syntax ®. Plus, until just now, I've never really had to try to write cohesive paragraphs while listening to Hayley alternate between professing her love for Lady Gaga and asking me questions that begin with things like "Hey Michael? If the universe...exploded, or something, and what we know as day became night..." (EDIT: Now she's progressed to eating an entire container of strawberries.)

On more than one occasion, she has started off a conversation with "I LOVE my blog readers." So it's important for you guys to realize that you do have a real, measurable impact on the quality of her life. Although she whines about having to write, she really does get so much joy out of reading your comments and responses, and she always has stories to say about "One of my readers said...."

This has really come full-circle, for me, because, when Hayley and I first started talking, I didn't read her blog. I wanted to get to know her through the things that we talked about, and stories she told me. Her blog was her personal space, and I didn't view it as my place to be involved. If she wanted me to know something, she would tell me. I still don't read her blog very often, but for different reasons-- not reading it allows me to sincerely ask, "How was your day?" and not already know the answer. Now you are reading this because I'm writing it and she's going to post it there.

Maybe I should abuse the power, and tell you a bunch of embarrassing stories about Hayley that she would absolutely kill me for divulging. But those are best saved for a video I'm working on with Kristina. Oh no, I fear I have said too much.

We talk a lot about writing, and making videos. Because we both do the same things, only in wildly different ways. When she makes a video, the product is that video, and that's the end result. There's scripts and costume changes and clever writing. When I make a video, I'm trying to share an announcement with my subscribers, or perform a new song that I've written. The video is the vessel for something else. So this is kind of a challenge for me. I'm used to writing songs, in which you get about 16 lines, and that's all the space you get to say whatever you're trying to say. I'm used to picking and choosing words very carefully, both for reasons of conserving "verbal real estate" and sonically-- as in, when writing music, the sound of the words as they leave your mouth is just as important as the meaning of those words. Here, however, both of those considerations do not apply, and so I fear this is mostly a pointless ramble of a blog entry. But that's what she gets for shirking her duties as Professional Blogger Girl to draw ink stars on the soles of her feet.

For reals, y'all, track me down on youtube or twitter if you'd like to chat about Miss Hayley, or ask for relationship advice, or watch all my videos and get really excited about my upcoming album. Just kidding. But seriously. No just kidding. But seriously.

Tomorrow, we return to your regularly scheduled Hayley.
And thank you for making my girlfriend happy.

Chipotle burritos this year: 0
Nail color: Are you kidding?
Subscribers: 5,974


allysonkate said...

Don't worry, this was a good blog. Just the right amount of ramble. Also, tell Hayley to do her homework, because right now she is giving herself skin cancer in the form of ink stars.
Then she will get skin cancer and DIE. How are you going to pay for these cancer bills, Mike? How? How?


You two are lovely. Have a fun evening.

gaby said...

I'm just gonna say it once: Awwww. You two are cute.

Mike: I love your music and I AM excited. This was a good blog, I enjoy the rambling.

Hayley: Good luck with the homework. Are we going to get more guest-bloggers this month?

Kai said...

I liked reading this post!
I think you should write a blog or something, this was really entertaining!
Or sundays on here should be 'The Situation' days =]
Enjoy your strawberries Hayley!

to_thine_own_self said...

Haha aww...this was a really good post!
You have a good blogging voice, too, Mike Lombardo.

P.S. You don't have to worry about how you'll make your future work. Honestly, there is so much collective intelligence and creativity between the two of you that no matter what, you'll figure something out if you need to =]

Sean said...

Yea, this is pretty adorable. I'm kind of glad you wiggled out of your blog writing duties.
I have such huge respect for both you. Knowing exactly what you want to do even though it means you might be living in a cardboard box. It's something I'm currently struggling with. Be a music major, do something I love, worry about the cash flow or go with something more "practical" that will allow me to live comfortably but probably not happily.
You're both amazing and every time I start to think "maybe I better major in something...useful..." I think of you and keep going. So...yea, thanks I guess. Can we share a cardboard box?

Emily said...

That blog post was awesome.

Robyn said...

I was going to go to bed an hour ago but I was like, "No, I must read Hayley's blog before sleeping." And fifty minutes later, after refreshing the page every five minutes flipping between TLC and MTV (I know, it's embarrassing) I see, "The Situation Speaks" and started smiling.
Anyway, I really liked your post. You guys write kind of similarly (imho). And - as I'm hoping that one day I can make somewhat of a living off of writing - I can completely relate to the money verses happiness thing. Or rather, the happiness > money thing.

Kat said...

Dude, I'm disappointed this did not end with a report on the color of your nails.

ifmemoryserves said...

I thought this blog was vey entertaining. Don't worry about it being a pointless ramble! Also, I think you two make a very lovely couple and I wish you luck in the future.

Melody said...

Dear The Situation,

I would call you by your name, because I do know your name, but it just wouldn't feel right in Hayley's blog comments. It's like there's a secret rule that the nicknames must always be used, and like, if we were to break that rule, the universe would explode and what we know as day would become night.

...Anyway, you are a very good blogger! Pointless rambles make for good blogs as long as there's at least a little thought put into them. You should start I'd read it.


Raz said...

Ooh, how I do love guest stars!
Hayley draws stars on the bottoms of her feet? I'm one for the drawing on my toes with Sharpies, myself. I suppose to each their own. ;)
You two should collaborate. It would be very ALL CAPS-y and adorable.
Brain wave!
Musical double date collab whatsit of Hayley, the Situation, Luke Conard, and Kristina! It would so adorable that everyone would just explode. Ooh! And Lauren and her boy (Matt?)! Just sayin'

Cece said...

She can't blog. She has to read the 500-or-something number of comments on her last post. Duh.

Does it really count as 'blogging everyday' if SHE isn't the one who's blogging? That's not BEDA, that's BLAJPABEDWBW; Being lazy and just posting a blog every day written by whoever.
(Whoever? Whomever? Whatever.)

I talk way too much.

You're both super awesome.

Lindy said...

*remembers Hayley's advice that someday MY boyfriend will be just as amazing as hers and that I'll be happy too, so I shouldn't be angsty*

...nope. Still going to throw a pity party about how awesome your guys' life is...and how nonexistent my boyfriend is (cause as much as I KNOW that a happy life is not equal to having a boyfriend, it's still hard to remember after I read that blog, haha!)


Really, though, I'm happy for you two!! And Mike, I'm going to go check out your music...NOW. :)

Lauren said...

You did a great job! I "aww'd" when you referred to Hayley as your possible-future-wife, not gonna lie.

Basically, I guess I'm just trying to say...Hayley, he's a keeper.

Jo said...

Possible-future-wife-Hayley, huh?

Hayley you smiled when you read that, didn't you?

Christina said...

This was so cute. Mike, I am glad to hear from you. It was nice. Hayley, I cannot wait to hear from you tomorrow as always and good luck with the homework.

Katie said...

Hey, everyone deserves to have a little time to draw stars on random body parts sometimes!

Awesome blog post, even in comparison to the normal awesomeness we usually get from Hayley's writing. Thank YOU, Mike, for making our blogger Hayley happy!! You both are seriously wonderful. I want to double date with you guys. ;D

Kate said...

oh, the situation (i REALLY want to call you the sitch - like from Kim Possible), don't be down on your writing! that was an excellent entry! yaaaay sitch! also, has anyone ever told you that you kinda sorta look like Link, from Rhett and Link? Eh? because i reallly think you do.
to hayley - uh, your boyfriend is awesome. for realsies.

Anonymous said...

Mike, you are Adorable. I fangiggled all through this post. Thanks for making this Sunday Awesome.:D

I hope you two get married and have little witty booger covered babies.

Much Love,

PS Hayley... Your procrastination methods make my life a joyous place.(:

Brenna said...

I'm proud to be one those 5,000 + subscribers, Mike. Thanks for guest blogging. You have a different style than Hayley, but I liked the deviation. It was nice.

Not that I don't love Hayley's blogging too. After all, that's why I'm here.


Elisabeth said...

Well written, Mike, you made me laugh more than once. You're a lucky girl, Hayley. :)

Hope you're having fun reading through those 500+ comments. No wonder you decided to take today off from blogging!

Christina said...

So can we expect to see another collab with you and Kristina in the near future? Perhaps NOT involving citrus flavored yogurt and mac and cheese? I'm still terrified to try it.

kira902k said...

Hah cute blog post. It was about time we heard from the Situation himself.
And I know what you mean about getting to know someone through their blog (or the internet). It minimizes the amount of stuff to say to each other when you're actually together. I have this problem with people I know IRL a lot.



Scott said...

Dear Situation,

I think you pass the official blog reader test.


Margaret said...

I loved this. Hayley, if you ever feel like not blogging again, just know that at least one of your readers (namely, me) enjoys reading the blogs of the people close to you. :) (Blogs from Jess and Lor* to come again?)

*I'm not even going to ask if it's creepy that I know their names: I know it is.

Holly said...

Neaawwwww. Mike.
What an excellent substitute blogger. I feel like this should happen more often.

Krazy_4_Kelly said...

Wow, that question about something exploding is hilarious and sounds like something I'd ask >.>

You're awesome for writing this blog for her so that way Hayley can continue drawing stars on her feet and not get yet at by us for missing a day of BEDA.

Hayley sure knows how to pick good ones. You have an amazing girlfriend, Mike, so treat her nicely or we'll hunt you down and kick your ass (points if you get the Friends reference)

Have a lovely week you two =)

Alexis said...

I believe the readers of this blog have approved of the quality of this entry and its writer. See Mike, all this time you were worried about meeting Hayley's father, but the much bigger test was getting approval from her fans... I'd say you passed.

alyson said...

This was a super cute post. You can never fail with a well written ramble.

jessmcfadden said...

Loves it.

sbg_bubbly said...

I've wanted to say this for a while and this seems like a good place to do it. I really admire you Hayley (and you too Mike) for being able to go after your passion even though you know it might not lead to a financially stable future.

Ok now that we’re done the sappy part...

Great job on the blog Mike! Not ramble-y at all but have you really not eaten any Chipotle burritos this year? I thought for sure that Hayley would have made you try some.

Sarah Mowrey said...

Mike; Thank you for giving us some insight to what you do, I really appreciated your perspective and the change in narrative style. This isn't to say that I'm not in love with Hayley's style but change can be a good thing one in a while. Music making is something I've never been able to do but I have such tremendous respect for that ability. :D Thanks for taking the time to write to us. Your grammar was fine!

Hayley; Since this morning when you @replied Kristina about our blog comments I was sure you were going to write a blog to scold those of us who compared you two. I feel so guilty about answering that question, however jokingly, because Kristina works so hard and is so genuine and sweet and she doesn't deserve to be compared to someone who is a completely different person. It's like apples and oranges. But, I'm also someone who thinks that comparing people at all is silly!

Yes, I could have just sent an apology to her but I don't know her and I wouldn't have felt comfortable. So Hayley, just know that I'm sorry if I or, any of us lost even a little bit of your respect because that would be terrible. Thank you for writing to us.

P.S. Your relationship is so adorable.

Gilly said...

Nice guest blog. It's cool to get, like a snapshot into a blogger's life that it from a different pov. :)

eibbore said...

I keep forgetting that Hayley - or Mike today - is doing BEDA and get excited when I see it in my RSS fee. / loser

Alcnor said...

Hayley: Use highlighter, it shows up better :)

Mike: Good job not abusing your power.

Kristin B said...

Yeah, so that was sexy. He's a keeper :) I also think it's great that you're both so creative and have the gift of excellent writing, you lucky ducks.

toastburntbread said...

Mike, you're awesome. You're good with words too! And it's nice to see an outsiders perspective of Hayley!

Anonymous said...

Mike Lombardo, you sound like a blogger.

I love Hayley+Mike. You work well together.

My boyfriend is imaginative, has a head full of ideas, and is a business major. Like Hayley, I write. With Daniel's big ideas and my words, we'll probably be very poor too.
Sometimes, I let it stress me out. It shouldn't, but it does.
Maybe the four of us can team up in the future so we can remind each other that being happy is really all that matters.
Yeah. Let's do it.

Niki. said...

Heheh. Awh.

BenCracknell said...

Oh Mike, it's lovely to hear from you as a real person, rather than the perfect creature I make you out to be due to Hayley's impossibily sweet descriptions. It's nice to know a little bit about you, and it's likewise nice to know some behind the scenes secrets of Hayley. I hope you have a good week, both of you, and i'll no doubt see you on the Tube some time soon. x

Lindsey said...

Mike, I would sub to your blog if you wrote one. You're a decent blogger!

And I hope Hayley paints your nails on day and then makes you blog for her so you can report the color.

Hayley, I'm surprised you do writing homework (assuming that's what it was) with a pen! It's so slow, how does it not drive you crazy?

Anonymous said...

I checked out your music on Youtube! I love it!

Anonymous said...

So adorable <3

Becka said...

The fact that he referred to you as his 'possible future wife,' cancells out the fact that it's April and he hasn't eaten Chipotle yet. I think.

Joy said...

Why hello, Mr. Lombardo!

I enjoyed this, you two seem to have a really fun relationship :) And as 'to_thine_old_self' said, "you have a good blogging voice". I agree!

Jodie said...

Yaaay The Situation.
You're actually good at blogging, you should do it more often. I guess seen as you write songs, we shouldn't be surprised.

Happy blogging :D

Abbie said...

I was going to go "Awwww, you guys are adorable!" but I'm pretty sure 46 other commenters beat me to it.

Nice blog. I'm definitely hooked now. :)

lanna-lovely said...

@Mike "so I fear this is mostly a pointless ramble of a blog entry"

I realised that at just about the same time you pointed it out (yeah, I'm THAT slow), but you pointless ramble like a pro, somehow it managed to be really interesting even though you weren't really talking about anything in particular.

In other words, you should blog more often... or hijack Hayley's blog more often. Or co-write a blog with Hayley! That would be interesting. =P

@Hayley, aww, your boyfriend is made of adorable. You should keep him (although I'm sure you intend to anyway). Together you make, like, a couple made of awesome and adorable. Win. :]

Beach girl said...

I'm rooting for you two to make it; both professionally and as a couple.

Anonymous said...

You somehow managed to make Hayley sound more crazy than she does first hand, lol.

Maybe you could make the guest blog a "thing" on here, Hayley? Although of course we do all love you very much.

Good job, Mike [:

Hayley's older, and much wiser, sister said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Morgan said...

Super adorable.

Zombie said...

Whenever "The Situation" is mentioned, I always picture the actual guido. It was very hard to not laugh while reading this blog because I was imagining the guy from Jersey Shore reading aloud.

Nice blog, bro. :P

Kirsty said...


Izzah said...

Your rambles are interesting, and funny. :)

Anonymous said...

Mike, you should write a blog. Just sayin'. Because I was amused by this blog.

Katherine said...

Hayley is quite lucky to have you as her boyfriend, Mike. You seem lovely. :) And good for you for telling Hayley she should be doing her homework instead of giving herself fake pen tattoos!

I hope you have a nice day, The Situation. :P
And Hayley: did you EVER do your homework?!

Ida said...

Thank you for making your girlfriend happy.

Phoenix said...

Oh, I missed the guest blogger days from last April. That doesn't mean I don't like it when Hayley writes (I wouldn't have stuck around if that were true). But I like the outside views of Hayley; I find that funnier than internal observations.

Also, Mike, write more paragraphs. Sincerely, Caroline

Sarah said...

Awesome guest blog :D You guys are so cute. I think Hayley and I have similar homework habits...

Annnnd I wouldn't worry about money because we all know Hayley is going to become a published author and sell lots of insightful, witty, meaningful, well-written books.

Allison said...

I'm sure this won't be the only comment that says this, but Mike, maybe YOU should start a blog. You're pretty good.

Anonymous said...

This is awesome! You are a very good blogger, Situation, especially for someone who doesn't blog! I'm so glad you and Hayley have each other. :)

Tom said...

To Hayley: Seriously, it's such a wonderful symbiotic relationship- you love the weird abstraction you think of as Your Blog Readers, and the reason we all comment and such is because we love the hilarity and poignancy of your ramblings so much. :)

To Mike: That was really lovely. G'job.

Willow said...

All I can say is that that was so cute *sigh*, Hayley, you are very lucky.

Callidora said...

This blog spot is adorable. Great job, Mike :o)

shaylaluna said...

This blog post was amazing beacuse not only did I get to read the beautiful words of one of my favorite musicians but somehow I do feel like I know how Hayley's day went.

shaylaluna said...

I may have just commented twice, or not at all?

Natalie said...

Well Hayley, WE LOVE YOU TOO!
I agree with everyone else; you two = cute.
But I really don't know how it's working, what with the lack of chipotle. Or is that why it works? More for Hayley?
Good blog post, you haven't failed us :)

RhianonLives said...

It was a very good blog, Situation, worry not :)

K-Mac said...

On one hand, I feel like this is cheating at BEDA, but on the other hand, I was thoroughly amused and enlightened by Mike's post.

So, y'know, it's all good. =)

KaraDawlish said...

i love this <3
He's cute.

Anonymous said...


Samantha said...

Hayley has the right idea though, drawing stars on my feet often takes presidence over homework; especially in spring.

Good blog Mike :)

Alice said...

Mike! Thank YOU for making your girlfriend very happy. We like her when she's happy. Also, Commenter Kat made me laugh out loud, I also like to know.

Alice said...

Mike! Thank YOU for making your girlfriend very happy. We like her when she's happy. Also, Commenter Kat made me laugh out loud, I also like to know.

accioweasley said...

Hayley, The Situation should blog some more. You guys should make a script or something and put it on this blog.
You guys are SO. CUTE.

Anonymous said...

hahahaha I love it
Nail color: Are you kidding?
sooo funny

thanks for your blog post work :]

you guys are great always putting a smile on my face
I hope my college experiance is as great as yours and I meet people as great as you guys!!!

p.s. I'm really really really sorry about the grammer...I've always been bad at spelling/grammer
I even debated weather or not to even leave this comment because of grammer...but anyway sorry

Bahsheep said...

How about Situation day once a week? Not that I don't love Hayley's whines, moans and groans, but this was also highly amusing (and possibly a break from blogging that gives Hayley brain space for material to grow for the next week's blogposts).

Yes, I'd like that! (:

Pip said...

Mike, you should blog. I really enjoyed your post!

And I'm in the same boat as you and Hayley. Telling my parents I want to be a writer and an academic, their first comment was "How are you going to make money?!" I don't know, Mom, but I'm going to be doing what I love so it doesn't really matter.

Go for it. Dare to be poor and happy rather than settling for money. It takes more guts to denounce society's obsession with monetary gain and follow your passion.

Anonymous said...

Good job blogging! Very funny and super cute. Like everyone else is saying, you two are so cute. I don't say that a lot so it must be true :)

Anna M. said...

awww Hayley you sure know how to pick em =]

I really like what you said about the "how was your day?" comment Mike, because I feel like 90% of the people who ask me that are asking to make themselves feel caring and not because they actually care.

Anonymous said... really ought to have Hayley take you to Chipotle.

Jordiekins said... ?

Just Sayin'.

Chelsea said...

Not only does he speak, he writes and writes well! Good job, Mike : )

Hayley, you still inspire me so much, for just being you. So much time has passed since I first started watching your videos, but just hearing about your day (even from the perspective of your boyfriend) and how happy you've been warms my heart and makes me smile.

PlainJane said...

Great job Mike and Hayley finish your homework!

<3 ya both!

KateyMatey said...

Hayley, where can I buy one?

Nokorola said...

"But let's not put the trailer ahead of the llama, right?"
Best non-Hayley quote ever!


Good times shared by all.(what?)

Have a great day Mike!(and Hayley!)

Joanne said...

all aboard for the jealousy train WOOO WOOO!

Manuel said...

I loved to read this!

Thank you for guest blogging :)

Signe said...

Hayley, you are a lucky girl! :)