I'm nervous, guys.
You're nervous, Hayley? Why? Is someone asking you to do math?
No, metaphorical responder. That's not it.
Does somebody expect you to perform several cartwheels with perfect form?
Uh, no. That's not it, either.
Then what? Are you being held at gunpoint, asked to list the periodic table of the elements?
No. You want to know why I'm nervous? I'm nervous about WRITING.
Writing? Why are you--
Yeah, you heard me correctly. My first short story is almost due for my "big kid writing class," and I am positively terrified of messing up. This is the moment of truth! What if I find out that I'm not as good as the Noir Bards? What if I learn that all these years of reading books about plot development, covering the back pages of class notebooks with interesting phrases and quotes, spewing my soul out to the internet... what if I learn that it was all in vain? What if I bring my story into class, the professor takes one look at it, and he yells, "Go back to Happy Candy Bear Island; you're terrible at this!" and I promptly implode?
Okay. I just reread the first half of this post and I realize that I'm acting like a psycho, but this is a high-pressure situation. I feel like I have so much to prove in such a small space. What do I write about? I don't want to produce a quirky-life-lessons-learned-blah-blah-cotton-candy-blah anecdote, because, a) sometimes you have to subscribe to the deep-dark-despair-and-black-Sharpie style in order to be taken seriously, and b) I don't want to start the class off in my comfort zone, in the event that I need to pull out all the stops for a later story.
What do you think? Should I push myself to write something more powerful, or should I stick with my light humor security blanket and see how it's received?
Chipotle burritos this year: 13
Nail color: This is significantly less interesting when I'm updating daily. Still plum.
P.S. My Geography professor just preached about how high school cafeteria pizza is an effective form of birth control, since it makes you feel like your mouth is lined with cardboard, and there's enough garlic on it to kill a vampire, so no girl will want to come within twenty feet of the boys nasty enough to eat it.
P.P.S. Good luck today, Catherine! I hope you get the job!