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Friday, April 23, 2010

Medium Iced Passion

"Heeey."

Sigh. He's short, nondescript, wearing a brown sweatshirt and trying too hard. Had he approached me like this-- in a coffee shop, drawing out his vowels all flirty-like-- just six months ago, I might have thought about it. But tonight, as I stand in line for my iced tea, I'm silently flattered and trying not to laugh out of discomfort. "Hey," I say back, and I pause my iPod, accidentally dropping it in the process. I bungee it back into my hand by the headphones, in an uncharacteristically graceful motion. I'm secretly proud of myself for that one.

"Were you listening to Ben Folds?"
"Um! Yes," I say to the boy, smiling. To the barista in front of me, I say, "Medium iced Passion with two bags, please."
The boy bounces awkwardly. "I love Ben Folds."

Now, I don't get hit on very often (as soon as I publish this blog post, I'm going to the library on a Friday night) so I'm not even sure if he was being flirty or just friendly. But, either way, I always know a good opportunity when I see it.

"Me too!" I say. "So you must be pretty excited about Mike Lombardo's new album, right?"

The boy looks like he's considering lying ("Totally; I'm so excited!"), but probably senses that he'll be caught and embarrassed. Instead, he looks down at his feet and says, "I don't think I've heard of him."

"Oh my God! He's going to be the next big thing. He's like Ben Fold's younger, better-looking brother," I say, loosely quoting something I think I've seen on Mike's website bio.
"Oh, cool," the boy says, stepping up to order something annoying like black coffee. "What's his name again?"

I mean... I'm not entirely proud of the fact that I took advantage of some stranger in order to promote my boyfriend's career, but as I wrote "dftba.com/mike" on an old Chipotle receipt and told him that Mike Lombardo is my favorite musician (true) and that Everyone Awesome Ever is pre-ordering Songs For A New Day (slowly becoming true), I couldn't help but feel like a total badass.

The two of us hovered by the door for a few minutes, him telling me about some obscure band I've never heard of, and me nodding noncommittally and sipping my red tea. I did a pretty good impression of someone polite, and then we parted ways. As I walked down the street, giggling to myself, I pulled out my phone and hit the speed dial for my favorite musician.

"I have such a funny story for you!"

Chipotle burritos this year: 15
Subscribers: 27,364
Nail color: "Lightening," Sally Hansen Insta-Dri

43 comments:

Mike Lombardo said...

Was he at least cute? I need some cute fans.

Chrystie said...

I love that you were doing an impression of someone being polite. haha. I often do this myself. Good job promoting Mike! yay!

Kristen said...

Can I say how much I love this post? Okay, ready? I LOVE this. I can't wait til you have books that I can read on my Nook(which happens when your mom accidently orders two of something...) Seriously, this read like a great short story. You need a major publisher, stat!!

Have a great weekend!

Krazy_4_Kelly said...

xD Wouldn't it be hilarious if he actually took your recommendation, looked Mike up and followed a train of links and ended up here, on your blog, and is now reading this story? This isn't entirely realistic but is a funny thought lol

Great job promoting your super awesome boyfriend, he should pay you for you hard work on his behalf =)

Melody said...

Gahahaha. That is hilarious XD

Brynne Annaƫ said...

That's pretty awesome. I am shameless in promoting my dad's music to random people, but it's cute when it's your boyfriend. ;)

Also awesome: I walked into the local bookstore in my little college town in eastern Washington (state) and saw a rack of "Will Grayson, Will Grayson". And I was drooling but I wasn't going to spend my precious, hard-earned cash, because I am a broke college student.

AND THEN I SAW THAT THEY WERE SIGNED.

I am now the proud owner of Will Grayson, Will Grayson.

Hope said...

You are hilarious. And awesome. I want to be as awesome as you when I grow up. I'm not even kidding :D

to_thine_own_self said...

Haha that's hilarious!
You're so clever. Lol.

Casey said...

That's awesome!(And this post is slightly hillarious) Go you for promoting Mike! :)

Kai said...

The first thing I thought when I read this post was
I WANT TO READ A BOOK BY YOU!
haha, you write so well, and I get an amazing image in my head without you force feeding random details in my face.

and do not feel bad for promoting your boyfriend.
it's your right!

alylurker said...

Haha! This is adorable and hilarious, awesome, and 100% win!

Anila said...

So dig the fact that you drink passion iced tea. Have you tried the Passion Iced Tea Lemonade? Fantastic. Get on that, ASAP.

Second, something like that happened to me earlier today! I'm furiously studying for my finals in the library, totally in the study zone, when BANG, some dude behind me goes, really loudly, "HEY, YOUR PHONE IS PRETTY SMASHED." And, I mean, it is, but he didn't have to scare the excrement out of me to say so. And then he tried to carry on a conversation and I was like, "uh huh, uh huh *stares with exam-bloodshot eyes* uh huh."

It was awful. I feel your pain.

Nicoley said...

Haha awesome job promoting Mike Hayley, and impersonating a polite person! Loved this post.

Have a great weekend!

<3

Alice said...

HAYLEY! I sort of want to buy your books now even though they haven't been written yet, if that makes any sense

cassiumpotassium said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
cassiumpotassium said...

I realize this has nothing to do with your post, but I went shopping today & I saw this shirt. I instantly thought of you. :)

http://www.rue21.com/Item.aspx?height=550&width=436&modal=true&GenderID=1&ItemID

Niki. said...

Ahahah. That's great.

I love when you blog in story format... <3.

kaylaann93 said...

I know this is going to sound absolutely ridiculous, but... I have that nail polish! :D

I have a friend that constantly tells me that he thinks it look like paint, do you agree?

I feel so awesome that I have a nail colour that you do.
=]

Katie said...

RE: Mike's comment

Should we be insulted?? Is he insinuating that his already existing fans AREN'T cute? Including you?? Preposterous.

Very amusing story though. :)

Larry said...

Lol, nodding noncommittally.

Yes, I'm male and I read the occasional blog. What of it?

Sidsel said...

You Americans are so friendly! Had someone approached someone like that in Denmark, the latter would be all: "Why are you talking to me, you freak?! Get away from me and please don't steal my baby!"

Haha. I might be exaggerating. Btw - I love this kind of recap.

Manuel said...

Hmmm. I think it's time to get into Mike's music.

And you're not alone Larry ;)

Emma said...

This makes me smile.

Emma said...

This makes me smile.

natasha.self said...

I love how even in blogging this story, and slipping in 'dftba.com/mike', you're also promoting him :)

KaraDawlish said...

Hahhahahahhahahahhahah yesss <3

katieowens said...

It is days like this that I often look forward to at The Hayleylujah Chorus because they make me realize that one day, a book written by you is going to go on my "Special" shelf. Right up there next to every book that has changed me or touched my heart.

accioweasley said...

At first, I thought you were talking about Mike. I thought Mike was the one saying "Heeey," and the one who didn't know who Mike Lombardo was. It was so brilliantly written, that I wanted to read it so many more times after I got it. I LOVE this.

Christina said...

I thought that you would appreciate this :)

http://alvareo.tumblr.com/post/544686686

Christina said...

That is so cute.

xoxWHOAxox said...

So, I normally just lurk your blog. But, I had to post because that yellow is my favorite color of nail polish. It is epic, and it always graces my nails whenever I have the chance to paint them.

RhianonLives said...

Good story xD one day, when you've got nothing else to write, you should let us read one of your short stories.

Azu said...

"Heeey"
"Hey" *Drops ipod*

Totally me xD

Sarah said...

I love it when you write short-story-style :)

I love this post.

Nerd said...

A few weeks ago, one of my RL friends posted "Hey Molly" to her FB. I had one of those ZOMGMYINTERNETWORLDANDREALWORLDARECOLLIDING!!! moments. :p

Next time you do questions, if ever, I was wondering why you chose to use your full name on the Internet and how your parents felt about that. (Sorry if you've answered this already! It seems like something that would have been asked before...)

Morgan said...

Nice. :)
I had a dream that we hung out at Disneyland last night. I feel like we are old pals now, which I recognize is sort of creepy.

Madhu said...

that was lovely, as usual
and i'm proud of you for not flirting/being friendly back
haha

kira902k said...

Hahah that is a great story. You're such a good girlfriend. xD

accioweasley said...

Oh hayley! I'm doing a poetry slam for my middle school, and will probably perform this poem: http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/15625
any other suggestions? I really appreciate the input!
--
Emily

Anonymous said...

You are wearing my nail polish. And when I say 'my' nail polish, I am being very possessive over it. I mean this in the sense I bought it the day the kind Walmart worker was stocking the shelf. I walked up to her with wide eyes and asked her if she could "Please, oh please" hand me a bottle of the yellow one. She handed it to me with a ginger motion. I painted my nail as soon as I got to the car. The next few days were presented with people everywhere stopping me to comment on my fingers. This is not normal. Now, a month or so later, everyone is now wearing my yellow nail polish and I feel as if I need to flee from my small world of existance if only to be original without fear of being copied.

Erin said...

This was so cute! Haha.

One day, you're going to be a really famous writer. And all my friends will read your books and love them. And I'll eagerly tell anyone who will listen that I was reading your blogs/watching your youtube channel /years/ before you were published. Hehe, you really are a fantastic writer! ^^

Madeline said...

Hayley, you are a fabulous writer and I can't wait to read your first published novel! Also, I think that little encounter was kind of the definition of Never Forgetting To Be Awesome.

Anonymous said...

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pmu
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