In reading through yesterday's comments, I remembered a handful of other boys' names I love: Joel (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind), Avery, Jude, James (I prefer Jamie, but I'll let him decide), and Harrison, who can be Harry if he'll let me. Also, Ilse for a girl. Oh, and you guys must read this comment from SnakesAndWorms:
"I am going to have all kinds of fun with names since my last name is Sleezer. If
I ever have a boy, I am seriously considering naming him Julius, so he would be
Julius Sleezer. If not that, then probably Ebeneezer. If I have a daughter I'll
probably give her a hippy name like Moon Child."
I figured you guys neeeded that laugh before I bombarded you with an ice-cold bucket of angst. I have a little over one week left of high school, and it is positively unbearable. The morning started off with me flopping lifelessly out of bed, realizing that my hair was huge to the point of being unstraightenable, and having to force myself into stiff clothing while my head begged to go back to sleep. In first period, my crazy Government teacher ranted breathlessly for forty-five minutes about his "friends on left," which is what he calls the liberal media he despises. That I'm used to. What threw me for a loop, though, is what happened next. The man wears khakis, a patterned short-sleeved dress shirt, and a differently patterned mismatching tie every single day of his life, and upon seeing my old green sneakers, said, "Those shoes are gross. You should dress for success." I'm not sure I have the power to convey just how surreal and out of character that comment was, but I'm still kind of floored by it.
In second period, my choir director began by telling us how bad our big show is going to be this weekend, due to missing rehearsals (TO TAKE AP EXAMS) and "negative energy." Our class this year is made up of about 90% seniors. Can she honestly expect us to be thrilled to be going through the motions when the end is so near? The real kicker, though, was when we did "Seasons of Love." The soloist was having a really, really hard time today, and for good reason-- it was early in the morning, he was already having a bad day, and the director was telling us how much we suck. It doesn't help that the soloist, a friend of mine, gets made fun of a lot for being gay, and although I'm fairly certain he is, he hasn't even come out yet. (No wonder, huh? Seeing as how accepting and lovely his peers are?) So we're all standing on the edge of the stage, waiting patiently for him to find his footing in the solo, and the director goes off on us. She says that we're all rolling our eyes and quietly making fun of the soloist, creating an atmosphere of negative energy. And you see... even if one or two of the jerk boys did roll their eyes, the soloist didn't know he was being made of at the moment. He was having difficulty hitting the notes because they're hard to sing. The director thought she was helping him by yelling at the other boys, but really she was just exposing to the soloist that he was being made fun of. She therefore humiliated him for, like, ten minutes. And she thinks she's a saint for it. To make matters better, as she screamed at us, she said, "He got the solo because he had the best male audition, and it's a male part. So SORRY, Hayley." First of all, what a kind thing to say to the other girl who auditioned. Second of all, I never said a single thing to absolutely anybody at all but Jess about that solo, and the director made it sound like I was walking around complaining about it. Third of all, it was like she was telling the soloist that he was only the best of the boys for the part, after she'd already embarrassed him practically to the point of tears. It was absolutely terrible.
Later in the day, I nearly blew up. Everyone at my tiny school knows about my internet life, but it's mostly just something the seniors make fun of me for at the parties I'm not invited to. I make an effort to speak of it only cryptically when necessary or when I'm convinced no one but my friends can hear, because people probably expect me to brag about it, and I can't stand to give them what they want. But today, I heard a casual friend telling my Newspaper advisor about these guys at my school who make poorly-lit, loud horror movie vingettes with crappy copyrighted music. "They get paid by YouTube!! Isn't that amazing?!"
And that's when the color drained out my face. I KNOW this is the world's PETTIEST thing to be upset about, and I know I sound like an ASSHOLE. But it would be literally impossible for those boys to have ever received a single partner check, as they don't make any partner videos and no one outside our school watches their channel. And the friend who was telling this to the super-excited teacher knows full well what YouTube is to me, and yet I'm the closeted internet freak, while these stupid boys are our "resident filmmakers." God. I do not want praise. I do not want to be worshipped. I do not want everyone to fawn over me and talk constantly about how I spend my free time. It's just totally, completely unfair that the teacher who won't even tell me "good job" on something awesome I turn in thinks a group of boys with a digital camera deserve to be celebrated for their amazing accomplishments, when I do the same thing SIGNIFICANTLY BETTER.
I just can't stand it.
This phone conversation I just had with my mom pretty much sums up today.
Mom: Are you still grumpy?
Me: Yes.
Mom: (with some sympathy) Why are you grumpy?
Me: School sucks.
Mom: You have seven days left!
Me: Seven days is a long ass time!
Mom: People are in childbirth for seven days!
Me: People are not in childbirth for seven days.
Mom: For a good week before birth, the woman's cervix starts dilating, and it's really painful and--
Me: Oh my gosh, Mom, can we not talk about dilating cervixes right now?
Mom: Go make a 5AG video.
Chipotle burritos this year: 18
Subscribers: 16,027
Days left of high school: 7
94 comments:
I'm sorry your day was so bad. Towards the end of any kind of term is the same in my school, noone wants to do anything, and the teachers are super angsty about making people work. I used to have a teacher like your choir instructor, it's kind of difficult to deal with someone like that. At least you've only got seven days left? :] <3
Does your mom say "Five Awesome Girls" or "FIVE-A-G"?
Think it's kinda cute that's your mom is in to the hip abbreviations.
this might not help but:
college is SO much better. people are so much less dramatic and you teachers won't know everything about you.
i went through the same thing with my band director senior year. The man went ballistic and ended blaming "everything that is wrong with this band" on the section leaders/officers (of which i was both)
but to make you feel a bit better, maybe, perhaps... here's a joke.
What's the difference between a Choir director and God?
God doesn't think he's a Choir director.
:) YOU CAN DO IT!!! :D:D
Today, my band director told me that if I'm not going to "commit" and really "put in the work," (I suspect he's mad that I'm missing the Memorial Day parade for LeakyCon) I shouldn't sign up for band next year, because he wouldn't miss me.
Also, some lovely person told me that she'd overheard people talking about how fucking annoying that Marlena is and how they're happy when she seems like she's emo, because at least she doesn't talk or laugh that obnoxious cackle.
Another kind soul told me that I'm a "disappointment" for not trying to be more social because I said I would rather sleep or read or do just about anything but go to the band banquet tonight.
Hang for those seven days, you lucky bitch. I've got a year and a month left.
your mother sounds awesome.
*Hang on
Also, whoalongcomment. Sorry for, y'know, unloading.
i forgot to mention, we don't get out till june 22. you lucky bastard.
I'm sorry to hear that your day was so awful. Mine was...mediocre as usual.
My drama teacher sounds just like your choir director - teachers like that are hard to deal with at the best of times, but especially worse as you get to that point in the school year where you just don't care any more.
Hope tomorrow's better
=D
That was a lot of crap for one day :-O
Well... to make fun of the gay guy. Shocker :-/
I think they should worship you. You're probably already more successful in everything you do than most of them will ever be, so you deserve credit.
I sometimes think you make the stories up, because they are so much like the high school movies :) but I guess school life is like that in the US.
So sorry you have to deal with that. I have to deal with stuff similar to that at home. I have a lot more than just 7 days left of that though.
Heck, I haven't even heard back from my school of choice, and I was supposed to hear back over a month ago.
Sometimes people don't realize what mistakes they're making, and sometimes we have to just live with it. You have my support though... no creepy-ness meant at all
Your choir director sounds like my band director. *shudders*
Here's a sympathetic virtual Chipotle burrito for ya:
( )
[Lame? Maybe.]
Just think there's only 7 days left! When in doubt, smile; it confuses people. (:
Awww, hug. I completely know what you mean by crappy teachers and drama and all that. I'm sorry.
(Insert uplifting "it will be okay" comment here that won't actually make you feel better anyway.)
Ugh, my last week as a senior in high school was pretty sucktacular, too. :( And I have to reiterate whoever said that college is SO MUCH BETTER -- there's a lot more anonymity, both within the student body and with professors. And the only pressure anyone puts on you is the pressure you put on yourself.
I know it sounds strange, but pausing for a moment and taking a deep breath can really help. Just take a minute and breathe -- it's almost over! :)
Hi Hayley ;) I was just catching up on your blog, and I saw the names that you'd like for your children, and I just wanted to say, I think Olivia's a wonderful choice. You know, since it IS my name and all.
Choir drama is the worst. Really sorry about that. I'm going through a lot of it too and Im only a junior. ONE MORE FUCKIN YEAR.
You are going to have the time of your life at college. People like us usually thrive in that environment the best.
Gaah! Your choir teacher sounds like a piece of work. She was probably having a bad day and felt the need to inflict that onto you guys, my bio teacher does it ALL THE TIME.
You have seven days left of high school and I'm officially jealous.
Also, I second your mom's idea, go make a video :)
Wow, your mom sounds awesome. And you only have 7 more days. Your stupid choir teacher is probably getting sick of the year now also and is just taking it out on you guys. But you'll get to leave her soon so just don't worry about her.
And dang I wouldn't even be proud of whatever video I made. It sounds like theirs sucks. You have tons of people who actually care about you and think you do what you do brilliantly. They have to lie to get recognition for doing something dumb. Feel proud of yourself. =]
I feel like I know what you're going through, but I probably don't have a clue. But it's nearly over you're nearly there! :D
You're so hot when you're angry.
I had to sit through class which my teacher started half an hour late, made gramatical speaking errors, repeated herself constanly, and was trying to explain topics she obviously knew nothing about. "Everyone" loves her but I can't wait until the quarter ends and I never have to see her again.
All that is keeping me (reasonably) sane is the fact that Memorial Day is coming up and I can have time to relax before finishing up the last couple weeks of school. Just take things day by day focusing on friends that can help you get through trying times.
:o)
People suck. End of story.
It drives me absolutely crazy when people praise crappy videos when other people are so much better but end up being considered freaks. I'm being basically harrassed by my ex boyfriends best friend, and he informed me I make Youtube videos to get sympathy while I complain about my life because I'm immature and self centered.
Yet he started making Youtube videos BECAUSE of me while I was dating his friend, and his videos are all 7 unedited minutes of him rambling about his life and TAKING OUT HIS CONTACTS. And he calls me self centered. Right.
People just suck. They really do.
<3 I'd give you a hug if I could (as creepy as that might sound)
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 I know it's hard, but you've got one week left. You can do it.
HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
I'm really sorry you had a bad day Hayley. 7 days isn't really that long a time period in the grand scheme of things but I do remember my last days of school and wondering why they were going so slowly.
Maybe you should print off some comments from your videos and blog and show your newspapaer lady just much you are loved and appreciated by everyone who watches your videos and blog entries. You are way better than anybody who makes 'poorly-lit, loud horror movie vingettes with crappy copyrighted music'.
We love you Hayley!!
Hope you have a better day tomorrow.
I feel you, Hayley, I really do. As of now I have 14 more days in my sophmore year of high school. I'm so ready to be done. Just thank your lucky stars that you came out alive. Any good tips on how to survive the next two years? They would be much appreciated.
As for chorus, I'm also irritated, but for different reasons. My two best friends are incredibly talented individuals and I'm very proud of them. Unfortunately, we share many of the same interests (as friends usually do) and I'm constantly overshadowed. Today I auditioned for chamber chorus, which I didn't get into last year, and I'm terrified that I won't get in again. It's not the rejection that matters as much as the fear of losing touch with my friends. They both got in at the end of last year, where as I wasn't accepted. I was fine with that. This year, however, I feel like I'm always missing out on a chance to connect with them. The thing I'm most scared of right now is that we'll lose connection with eachother and I'll drift apart from the people who matter most to me in my life right now.
Don't worry too much. We're all here for you!
Love, Alenka
ps. sorry for unloading all my crap on you. You're probably not interested, but it's nice to get it out there, you know?
Forgive me, but should a teacher of politics and Government not be neutral, nonpartisan, impartial, unprejudiced, evenhanded, unaligned and every-other-generic-synonym-of-neutrality-that-I-am-currently-unable-to-think-of?
If you go through the motions of pretending to be excited about there ONLY being a week left of school, you'll start to actually get excited. My last week of school was crap too. I had the WORST choir teacher in the history of public schools. She yelled at us about missing rehearsals too and when one girl said it was for testing she told the girl that she had to go to the principals office to get a new shirt because the one she was wearing was slutty. It wasn't.
Don't stress about it too much. Try to laugh it off and help out your friend with the solo. I think if you at least try to laugh about it now, you'll be able to brush it all off later.
Since i have a horrible singing voice i'll let Charlie's mother sing it for me.
Just pretend she is saying Hayley.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=95P1P6t9dAw
Teachers suck. Coast through lessons, have fun in your last days with your friends.
Today is awesome because somewhere in the future there may be someone named Caesar Sleezer.
and also because even though you are just ranting - you write so well that I can read it, and I get bored pretty fast with rambly blog entries (especially my own, gosh, they're pretty bad!)
college is better. like Katie said.
Also awesome - I bought RED after someone mentioned it! love it! wish i would have read some of those a few years back - a lot of them def rang true and yours was so awesome!
hope your week gets better! say goodbye to high school forever! because leaving feels best when you do it for the last time (paper towns reference anyone?)
I am sending hugs across the internets for you Hayley. You remind me so much of one of my friends, who's also having a really crappy time right now. It's so annoying being the nice person some times, who never gets credit where it is due simply because you don't brag about yourself.
I would have commented yesterday with these names, but I hadn't read it until now. Anyways, my favorite names are Avery and Emerson. They have been for a while. I think they are good for a boy or a girl. It doesn't matter. I names my mouse, a girl, Emerson, though...
I've read your blog ever since VEDA, but this is the first comment I've ever left. I think I'll start regularly commenting, though. :)
Sorry your day was so bad Hayley. The choir person was really out of line to do that. Just make the soloist all awkward and humiliated. Hope you feel better!
I'm sorry your day was so Notsome... but I kind of love your mom for the cervix conversation.... You are an awesome individual and in 7 glorious days... the majority of those around you will be replaced... and the best part.... Both your musical director and the oblivious teachers will be back next year... they can eat it.
*lovings*
Also: Avery is a girl's name. So there.
*lovings*
That thing about boys' parts- has you director never heard of Peter Pan? I got shot down for wanting to do a boys' part in something once too. Not fun.
Also, your mom sounds amazing.
You quoted me! I can die happy now!
Well, that says something that even on your bad days you make other people's days good ones.
I know how it is to have an idiotic director. We had the same problem in jazz band last year which is why we quit this year. Atleast you only have one week left, I have three :(
09'
nicole
I really don't know what to say...I don't know how to say anything when things suck without making it worse...
Just know I love you, Hayley. Kay? I mean...you don't know me, and I'm not trying to be creepy, but still.
I'm sorry you had such a rotten day. I hated my last week of high school, too. One one hand, I recently heard the quote, "Every tomorrow has two handles. We can take hold of it with the handle of anxiety or the handle of faith." I'm sure you see where I'm going with that. But on the other hand, at the end of next week, you're going to own your life. You won't ever have to see any of these people ever again if you don't want to. You won't have to keep up appearances, and you won't have to be civil for the sake of being civil. I know it sucks, but try to get through it- the end result is more than worth it.
So, you know how you said that you have only told your best friend Jess about how you were upset about the solo? You also kind of told the entire internet, which your choral teacher might be part of. But aside from that, she was a bitch for making the comment in front of the whole class I want to smack a ho.
aww Hayley chin up dearie. I'm currently at school helping one of my editors and our advisor create the master for our newsmagazine.
the way you feel about youtube is like the way we feel about our magazine. we don't get paid or anything, but we win national awards, work real hard, stay after school until all hours and geek over design and such. but kids at our school just don't seem to understand. they criticized the things that we love and spend hours slaving over.
I hope your Friday turns out well. It's the final countdown.
p.s. I'm sorry if my capitalization consistency irks you.
I had a strangely similar choir solo scenario happen to me. I was supposed to get the solo and it's for an alto... and my choir director gave it to a guy. Who is singing the other solo right after it as well.
Well. I hope the rest of your days in high school go a lot better than this one. :)
Aw Hayley, I am sorry to hear you had a bad day :( I really hope things start getting better soon <3
i'm sorry about your crappy day. i am not looking forward to high school xD. i totally get what you're saying about youtube, though. when those kinds of things happen to me, i just want to scream at people about it, it's so frustrating. hang in there.
Hayley hope you feel better and can get someone to pick your spirit up!
Once your in college you wont even look back at high school! The people are more tolerant and mature the lecturers take an interest in your work and nothing else!!! You'll be free soon
Boo for bad days. I had one too, but your's sounds worse. Sorry. :(
But look on the bright side: tomorrow is FINALLY Friday. Just a few hours of school and then you can come home and do something festive, like read a book or sleep. Or write. That is, unless, you have plans for tomorrow, in which case you could not do either of those things.
But oh well. Writing/reading/sleeping sound good to me after having a bad day.
Hope tomorrow is better for you!
**any of those things.
This is what happens when you don't proofread after editing.
Hayley, you are extremely awesome. Don't let teachers make you forget that :)
I had a notsome day as well, partly because I was sick. But also because some events occurred that I do not wish to relive.
Man, I just watched your 5AG video, and you make 'whiny' look sexy!
Don't let anything get in your way, you only have 7 DAYS LEFT! I, on the other hand, have at least a full month.
I've got-2-go, my left eye is getting swollen.
Stay Awesome =)
All I can say is that sucks. I am sorry.
7 days, just keep repeating that. It will be over before you know it.
My crappy story of the day: The water meter was replaced at my house and now the water is brown and comes out in spurts. So I can't take a shower after swim practice. And now I have disgustingly chlorinated hair. Yuck.
I second the guy who recommended "Cheer Up Charlie' - I always watch that video when I'm frustrated/sad/angsty. Cheer up Hayley!!
Living in a smaller, small minded town makes it so much harder to be yourself. I don't understand what's wrong with having a different sexuality!
Make the most of your last days! As shit as they may seem you will miss the little things *memory montage with Bruce Springsteen in the background*
Hang in there HGH!
I stopped writing my essay (it's due in three hours) to read your blog and I'm so sorry that you've had such an awful day Hayley.
I hope tomorrow is better.
Is this catch 22? If they talk about you you're pissed and if they don't you're pissed.
Either way, WE all think your vids are the best, and a HGH vid in my subs box completely makes my day :) It usually gets a few replays too just to soak in all the humour for what it's worth.
<3
Hayley if you were to name your son moritz you would be my hero. :) I mean I was considering to name my son Hanschen Gabor until I realized 1) he would probably end up with like smith for a last name thusly making his name Hanschen Gabor Smith and thats just weird and 2) he would get picked on to no end and i might feel slightly bad for that...just slightly though.
i really like the name Ilse for a girl too. Its so pretty.
Im sorry that you had a bad day, I remember being a senior and the last few days just dragged on. But hang in there, you're almost done and than you can say so long to all the high school drama. hopefully tomorrow will be better for you.
<3.
Meranda
Hang in there! Only one more week!
Honestly, you're choir director is awfully self centered if she's mad at students for trying to get college credit. That's much more important than choir, honestly, although I love choir a lot. But really, especially in a recession, getting college credit (which saves a few thousand dollars) is more important than a choir concert. (No offence to your choir director.)
And in the movie Rent a girl sang the solo during the opening credits. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8iTeDl_Wug
Oh, Hayley. I'm so sorry about your day. It's so funny, sometimes when I read your blog it's almost like I'm reading from my own. Last year in show choir we had tons of drama. Everything was so political and eventually it ended up a huge mess.
I know it's easier said than done, but try and concentrate on the things and people that really matter. People are assholes. Most of them are just jealous. Try not to let it bug you so much. We are here for you :)
I hope tomorrow goes better. I completly understand about not being known for anything. Most people at my school don't like Harry Potter. Most people at my school don't know about nerdfighters, or the five awesome girls. So you're definately not alone, and you're definately not the fat ugly one if you're not the funny one like you said in your video.
Dear Hayley,
I am going to join the rest of your 60-odd something commenter's reaction in saying, I am sorry for your awful, no good, very bad day. It sucks, the good news is that you only have 7 (or 6 now) days left. After that last wonderful day, Graduation will end, you will go home, excited, sad, and scared. But It will be worth it. College will start and you will meet the thousands of students who are there because, for the most part, they WANT TO BE. They will be so much more intelligent and understanding. The professors will not give much praise and compliments, however you will find people who do appreciate and RESPECT the talent you have. It will be short coming but you will get what you deserve and finally be able to just be you in school without the stereotypical back lash.
Anyway I hope that helped a little in making your smile come out. Have an Awesome day tomorrow.
Best wishes,
Leandra *aka* 44rainclouds
I think you and your "in the closet" friend should do a co-solo(? is that even a word?) totally stun the bitch. what's she going to do, stop the music? Tomorrow will hopefully be a better day. <3
I'm sorry that you had such a bad day, Hayley! I am sending you good thoughts and hoping that the rest of your week goes better (or at least better than a week-long childbirth). I don't think what you're upset about is petty. I loved what your Gov. teacher said though. Seriously?! When does a teacher get to comment on your shoes, let alone utter the words "dress for success"? It's like out of a movie; ridiculous. Anyways, have a good day tomorrow.
a DOUBLE SHOT of Hayley G Hoover today :) this makes me smile!
I really feel for you with this school stuff.. i finished high school last year but from like year 9 till year 12 i was the Drama girl, people recognized that but then when i wouldn't get a lead in a play people would be like "Don't worry about it" and i wouldn't have even complained!
As far as the youtube thing.. i know what you mean like i have been addicted to youtube for like 3 years, i don't post that many videos but nevertheless i am the one that brings up the youtuber's that i find hilarious, who no one else knows! One girl made her first video and posted it on her Myspace and linked it on Facebook and all the teachers started calling her " Youtube Guru" and talking about her being the interweb star of our school. it isn't that i am an insanely jealous person or anything like that.. it is just that it sucks arse when the things that 'define' you as a person are all of a sudden attributed to others! hahaha apologies for making you sit through my little apathetic rant.
Im at uni now, and i have to agree with Kates comment, teachers really dont actually have a clue who you even are.. they dont know all about you and it is really refreshing!So Goodluck with the next 7 days.. All of us readers know how fantastic you are
xxx
And I thought I had a bad day at school. From what you wrote my annoying "I wouldnt care if they jumped off a cliff and I'd be there to take pictures for my mutual enjoyment and wow that sounds very morbid and I'm gonna stop typing this before you think I'm crazy" devil children segregated Spanish class is nothing compared to the heap of fail that has consumed your day, hope you feel better soon lovely!
-Kullen
Cheer up buttercup!
You're amazing =) You truly are <3
I used to have a teacher who was like that. She was eventually fired. I guess she got a lot worse after I had left.
You probably already are aware of this, but college is SO much better. I mean, it will probably suck out your social life's soul, but there won't be the same sort of immaturity and drama from the students (and teachers) as there is in high school.
And I have to say, it's really cute that your mom knew you had to make a 5AG video. :] She knows you.
Dear Hayley,
I just read the entire Jessica Darling series in something like six days. I had to purchase four of them (consequently overdrawing my checking account) because the library only had Sloppy Firsts, and I am not a patient person.
This is all your fault.
Seeing as how Jessica Darling herself just aged ten years in six days, I must agree that seven days is a very long time.
--Emily
This post has been removed by an alien covering up its tracks.
I'm sorry that you had a bad day. I enjoyed the 5AG video today even though you were sad. I don't think you could pull off making a bad video. :-)
That's really horrible about the solo and stuff. I was in choir last year and although I was never good/confident enough to get a solo, I still sympathize with you at least a little bit. I admire you for trying out and I hope it goes well. I hope you have a good day tomorrow!!
"but it's mostly just something the seniors make fun of me for at the parties I'm not invited to"
That sentence made me so sad. It reminds me of my time in high school. I wasn't invited to any school parties. Don't worry, Hayley, life after high school is SO much better.
This is like the set up for the dramatic finale in a high school movie. During graduation someone says the wrong thing which pushes you over the edge. You commandeer the mic and give everyone what for. As they all sit there mouths agape, you strut off in slow motion while a soft rock anthem plays and your voice says how that moment changed your life and how you went on to win the Nobel prize for awesome.
The shoe-comment teacher sounds a bit socially inept, and unfortunately reminiscent of some teachers at my school. One of my teachers told my friend, who has penchant for dressing a bit eccentrically that she looks like a crazy person and no one takes her seriously.
There is nothing like high school trying to squash any bit of originality and creativity out. :\ You are entirely brilliant and talented. Don't let anyone try to make you feel otherwise.
And hey. Only seven more days. :D
Ugh. My school had "The Filmmakers", too. They were completely derivative, talentless, and just generally all around awful. They started a "film company" their sophomore year and in response to their awful films getting a lot of attention my best friend and I started out own film group. But, because we were late the game, the other group had already wooed the filmmaking teacher and from then on they received all his attention and, most importantly, all the school funding allocated for student filmmaker projects. They were in a couple student film festivals while meanwhile my friend and I are running around making movies on nothing and being in adult festivals and being recruited to make official videos for local bands, etc. But the other guys were always "The Filmmakers". Still, I'm fairly certain that teacher to this day wouldn't recognize our names if he saw them on a festival list. C'est la vie.
(Wow, that was really whiny. Sorry. Just wanted to let you know that I understand that frustration.)
I was going to leave this on Youtube but once again I was too wordy and ran out of space! Pah.
Ohh Hayley :( People suck. You most certainly are NOT the fat, ugly one. You're my favourite :D You have gorgeous hair, a beautiful smile and have reduced me to tears of laughter at times! And whoever calls you fat is a moron - I mean, come on, "fat, ugly one"?? How old are they, 10? Did they forget "Big smelly poo poo head" as well?
And it sucks that nobody acknowledges your talent. I can sympathise, many times what I deem to be "my thing" has been attached to somebody else who is nowhere near as obsessed or as talented at it as I am. But still - your friend is "the musicals one" according to one teacher, those boys are "the filmmakers" to one person. But you're a talented writer, film editor, actress and comic who's obsessed with Harry Potter, musicals and Chipotle burritos to THOUSANDS of subscribers who aren't required to say anything nice due to the anonymity of the internet yet they do because you're you and you are wonderful.
I fully understand the purpose of ranting, and think everyone should do it. (And your rants are usually funny too)
But, if there are things still bothering you and festering after the ranting is finished (such as your English teacher who never acknowledges your work, or others getting praise when they don't deserve it) I just want to pass on the most valuable piece of advice I ever got.
Separate everything that bothers you into two categories :
A) I can do something about this
B) Shit, I can't do anything about this
Then obviously the point is to let go of everything in category B, which takes some practice.
(And of course for you, you can make videos about things in category B first and then let them go, because if HayleyGHoover isn't annoyed, we'll all lose out!)
I hope this helps!
-Randi
P.S. After hearing your full description in the 5AG video, what your choir teacher did really really sucks! I hope tomorrow is less sucky.
Sorry your day was so bad Hayley. Similar things have happened to me lately. Example: Something I have been working towards for 10 years now, and have done about five exams to get the this point, a girl I know has only worked for aout two years and hasn't done any exams. I know thats made no sense whatsoever,but it doesn't change the fact that the whole situation sucks.
Okay, this comment is actually longer than my blog was today. That's impressive.
First of all, let me just get this out of the way: When we refer to ourselves as people who leave comments, should it be spelled "commentor, or "commenter?" According to Merriam-Webster's online dicitonary and the Oxford online dictionary, neither of them are actually words, so I think we need to figure this out. I'll be using "commentor" for the time being. Okay, on to the meaningful bits:
I'm sorry you're having such a crappy day. But it's all almost over, and it will get better soon. (Your hair looks just fine big, by the way.) Poor director behavior is just kind of something that happens, unfortunately. For what it's worth, you would have done so very well.
It can be tough when people seem to get credit for what you do better than them, like making videos and such. Just remember that you are better than them, and thousands of subscribers know that. As long as you enjoy doing it, keep on doing it. My channel has a whopping 5 subscribers, and I still make videos, just for the love of doing them. Even if you were to lose all your subscribers tomorrow, it wouldn't make you any less awesome. Remember that.
Okay, I was going to post this next part as a comment on the 5AG video, but it was way too long for the comment box. You said that "without being amusing, I'm just the fat ugly one." Those commentors are so wrong, and I really hope you don't listen to them. Although there was definite disdain in your voice when mentioning those "lovely, lovely commentors," I know that people like that can sometimes get to us, whether we like it or not. But really, here's the important thing: Honey, you do not always have to be amusing for us to love you. You're not "the fat ugly one" when you're not being goofy. You're quite beautiful, and we love you even when you're having a bad day, because nobody can be funny all the time People are human, not performing monkeys, and they're certainly not idealized versions of themselves, even if we sometimes forget that. (Obvious John Green fan is obvious.) You don't have to be goofy for us to love you. Just be yourself, because we love you the way you are.
Awwww Hayley I'm sorry your day was so sucky :( School can feel kinda insanely claustrophobic when it's almost over, especially if you're kind of outgrowing it already. And I know those 7 last days must feel like a hell of a long time from this side, but try to focus on how awesome it'll be when they're over! Sitting in class bored with your government teacher being stupid? Mentally plan a road trip for the summer. Doesn't matter if it's not practical, it's practical in your IMAGINATION :)
Also, I just watched your 5AG video and thought I should tell you that when one of my best friends was wondering what all the youtubely/nerdfighterly fuss was about, I showed her some 5AG videos. And when I got to yours she said 'Wow, she's so pretty!' So...fat and ugly? Psssht, only to idiots whose mission in life is to make other people as miserable as them.
- Ali x
Aww, Hayley, I hope your days get better, and that the next seven days go by fast. <3
ugh. reading your blog reminds me how much high school used to suck ass sometimes. i could comment on each thing individually but it all rounds up to a huge people are assholes and no matter how shitty it all seems, tomorrow is another day. and very soon you'll be DONE. WITH HIGH SCHOOL. FOREVER. that is the thought that definitely kept me going through those last days, even though they seem the longest.
also, you are NOT fat and you are NOT ugly. i don't think you really believe this, but sometimes it's still good to hear it from other people (even if they don't know you). you're beautiful and incredibly talented and creative and those haters are not worth a piece of chipped off nail polish from your pinky toe.
Hayley, you are clearly not in the mood for looking for silver linings, so I am going to do it for you.
1) Ok, the fat ugly one? Seriously, no one with eyes thinks that. Everyone who has seen you thinks you're beautiful. Everyone who has heard your writing knows you are.
Thats rather sappy, but there you go.
2) You clearly have one of the worlds coolest mums. She sounds lovely.
3) You have several lovely and talented friends, and a whole host of lovely subscribers who care very much about you.
4) It is only a week. You can last for a week. Thats 168 hours. If we assume you sleep for 7 hours a night, thats only 119 hours you're awake. Plus two non-school days- 71 hours. And then theres all the time your just not at school- which I can't work out, sorry. I've already resorted to using a calculator, anymore would make my brain hurt.
5) Think about how much more time that Choir teacher and other guy will be spending at school in comparison to you.
I realise I am terrible with uplifting messages. Just remember, we all love you <3
Hi Hayley. I'm sorry that you had a bad day. I did too, if that's any consolation? Possibly not, but anyway...
Perhaps it would interest you to know that the highlight of my crappy day was my Politics class (first lesson), in which my class, teacher included, was discussing Harry Potter for much of the lesson, and we were trying to list as many spells off the top of our heads as we could remember. Best Politics lesson all year, and pretty much saved me from skipping the rest of my classes that day. (I'm not, like, a crazy HP fan, but I do love the stories, and it was good fun).
P.S: First time commenting your blog, albeit anonymously.
I love that your mum knows you so well that you being grumpy; go make a 5AG video.
I'm sorry you've had a rough day Hayley, but it's nearly all over! Just think about that. Keep on smiling m' dear, life can only get better for someone do awesome. :)
x
"Oh my gosh, Mom, can we not talk about dilating cervixes right now?"
That made my day, thanks HayG.
Can we reach 90 comments of love for Hayley? That would be awesome! WE LOVE YOU HAYLEY!
Well at least the end is near for you. I've still got 3 weeks and oh yeah 3 more years after that. But I hope you feel better now, I'm a bit late on this one.
you're the best hayley. even though those teachers may not recognize it, youtube loves you. hope your tomorrow is better.
Ahh! Hayley! That sucks. I know what you mean about the guys and the video camera thing. It would be so frustrating knowing you worked so hard at something and for someone who doesn't put in the same amount of time and effort to be getting praised for it just because you don't flaunt it.
Just think - Only seven days left of high school and you get to leave the petty bitchiness of high school teachers and students and go to college and have adults surround you.
University outstrips high school in intellectual conversation, nice people and and a great atmosphere. You'll feel right at home.
I vaguely remember my last year of high school. I had senioritis so bad - I took a colouring book and crayons to school every day. And everything is even more frustratingly belittling. Good luck with the last few days.
Hayley,
Is your government teacher Mr. Hardy?
I have heard some pretty bad things about him on ratemyteacher.com.
Hayley, your videos will always be better than those other ones, and you do get money from HayleyTube, so just punch those kids in the groin, and smile politely. That's what all the cool kids do.
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