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Saturday, May 23, 2009

Magenta Musings

First, the most recent comment on the video showing off my pink hair: "eww you look like one of thos really depressed chicks that try so hard to get attention. You also look like this one porno chick that I saw on Try Life. Actually I ind of think you do look like a porn star." 
True, true, what?, false. 
Someone also says that I "look like someone who would kill herself because her internet boyfriend broke up with her." 
Again, false! Thanks for playing!

I'm not too concerned, though, because I have never in my life felt so smokin'. I keep forgetting anything's different until I catch a glimpse of myself in my rearview mirror or someone mentions it to me. Or, of course, they glare at me disapprovingly. Suddenly when I hit the pop machine for eating my dollar, I'm no longer a cute little girl acting on impulse out of her character. Now I'm a crazy teenage delinquent who puts down her joint only long enough to litter and swear at children.

But you know what? I'm sort of okay with it. I remember a time a month or two ago, when I was walking out of a store, and a fourteen-year-old girl in the whole gothic getup was standing outside, crying to herself. I tried to give her a meaningful look that said, "I'm sorry you're upset, stranger," because what else can you really do? She looked at me, too... but her look said, "Shut up, preppy rich chick. You don't understand me at all." I know that's a lot to imply, but "if looks could kill" definitely came to mind. And you know what I wanted to say? I wanted to say, "Wait, no no no! We're on the same team! I'm not judging you! I'm damaged, too!" but I couldn't. Because at the end of the day, Abercrombie speaks louder than words.

Maybe I'm a typical product of the white, upper-middle class paradigm. Maybe I'm a good little church girl. But maybe I'm also a rooter for the underdog, a disbeliever in bad people, a little messed up, and a little bit attention-starved. I like looking weird, and I like having pink hair.

I was thinking about all that this afternoon. I was running into a restaurant to pick up dinner for me and my sister, and the girl behind the counter, who went to my high school (hahahaha; sorry), exclaimed, "Oh wow, I like it!" and it took me a second to realize what she meant. My hand absentmindedly went to my hair, and I shrugged and smiled. While I awkwardly muttered my thanks, I noticed something. Her nametag. I've been in school with this girl since I was eight, calling her by her long, unique name, while her nametag in the real world reads a short, one-syllable nickname. I immediately felt like a jerk for having never noticed before. I got all offended when people didn't know me as the school's best video-maker, and I never took the time to learn that someone'd changed their name.

I put in my order and we small-talked a bit. "I feel like a jerk," I finally admitted, indicating the nametag. "I had no idea you went by that now."
"Oh," she said, looking down the same way I'd reacted to my hair. "I just started. School's over."

I like that. The world of idiots messing up your car on purpose and English teachers not appreciating you are over when high school is over. Some burn their uniforms, some move out of state, some change their names, and some change their hair. I'm a fan of symbols, and you know what? I'm more of a fan of me when I look more like this. Huzzah! 

Chipotle burritos this year: 19
Subscribers: 16,216

Bye, guys! Hopefully I'll see you tomorrow. <3

57 comments:

:allison: said...

Atta girl; ROCK LIFE! :D

Nokorola said...

Hayley, you're such a loose cannon!

Good job always keeping it real, and not judging people to harshly most of the time.

oh, and you totally rock the pink hair.

Marie said...

This kind of feels like the end of a book. The main character has come to realize something about herself or the world that had been some kind of issue throughout the story, and finally the conflict is resolved. As is appropriate for your situation, it feels like both an ending and a beginning. I just found that kind of cool =)

anna edelstein said...

awesome post.

your blog is my only insight into what being a functional human being is like, and you make it sound so tempting.

thatgirlbrianna said...

i love you're hair, i'm thinking about getting blonde highlights where you got your pink(:

::allison:: said...

random question: i think once you mentioned about making a voodoo doll of your ex and throwing it on his porch in your '50 things i've done vid'. was that JT?

holy whoa i'm annoying.

I view life as a novel; every ending starts a new beginning, everything happens for a reason,and symbols exist everywhere! (:
[Your blog just proves my mantra.]

The Vagabond said...

I love your hair. That video was awesome and the song was perfect. Congratulations on being finished with high school!!

Sarah Arant said...

I absolutely love your pink hair.
You've inspired me to do something of the same nature when I graduate next spring. Perhaps I will pull a Hayley G Hoover and put something color in my hair.
I don't think I could do pink with my DARK brown hair though. Maybe purple or blue.

joy isobel said...

Woo! Go Hayley! I feel strangely proud of you, and it's pretty creepy, but I am :) No more "Days left of high school" countdown? Gah. When do you graduate?

Redcabbageispurple said...

Awesome.

Melody said...

:)

Katie said...

I said this on your video, and I'll say it again here. You freaking ROCK the pink hair. You look like a beast, darling. <3

Larangutang said...

Cool, I was checking not expecting anybody to post a blog today since most people are at LeakyCon. I love your hair and I wish I could do that except blue. :] Lucky that you're done with high school too.

owlssayhooot said...

This is one of my favourite blogs I'e ever read from you. I love you so fucking much. <3

TessaBessa said...

haley, i admire you. i love all of what you say. when i first started watching your vlogs on youtube, i just thought you were just another quirky girl out there. but as i continue watching them and reading your blogs, i've learned so much more about who you are. i'm starting high school in the fall (gr.10 where i live) and i'll be sure to take of what you've said and be prepared for whatever may come to me. good or bad.

Liv =] said...

You truly are inspiring Hayley =]. I'm in my final year of High School too, although considering I’m kind of on the other side of the world to you, in Australia Year 12s finish in November, so I still have just over 5 months to go. I love school; our systems are really different from what I've gathered. I still don't quite understand American schools =] but it's always fascinating to find out about them. I don't know how I'll feel when I finish. My school year is half gone and I have honestly never been this stressed. So on one hand I desperately want to leave. But it's lovely being with my friends each day. Year 12s at my school have a common room (kind of like in Harry Potter, minus the magic, the boys and the dormitories...) so I pretty much live in there. But the point in this rather long comment is that I think when I do leave, I will want to shout I AM FREE, and showcase my excitement through something. Not sure what yet.

And your hair looks amazing

=]

Katy said...

Symbols are good. I find symbols in my life all the time. Stupid A Separate Peace.

I think when I graduate, I'm gonna road trip it... somewhere. Leakycon 2011 is around when I graduate... :D

notaclareintheworld said...

After I read this post I said to my friend, "I'm glad that Hayley is happy. I don't know her, but I'm glad she's happy."

And I am. Hurray!

MmM CyNtHiA, OpInAnDo said...

I'm a Fan of you too!!!
That's all i have to say
^^

SnakesAndWorms said...

I scorn the day when magenta highlights make someone "punk" or "emo".

It's good that you feel smokin'. Everytime I see that thumbnail picture for that video my little heart goes pitter patter.

Kaitlyn said...

You ARE smokin'. I've never seen someone look so great with pink hair. It almost looks right on you, like you were meant to be that way.

squirrelpirate said...

This may turn into mindless, faceless fangirling. I apologise.
Lately I've been contemplating what is best in life: Being yourself or liking being yourself.
So far I've been leaning towards the second but you make me realise that maybe I can have both.
I left an easily-misread-as-bad comment on your Shennanigans video but after reading this I rewatched it and loved it so much.

You're not a character in a book and you're not the Super-Perfect-Vlogger I can put on a pedestool as who I want to be. You're a real, awesome person who totally rocks out the magenta fringe.
I apologise for seeing you as anything else.

(P.S. TOTALLY jealous of your ending highschool career. In Australia, we still have 5 months left of service)

Katie said...

I feel like you should be a superhero. This may or may not be because of your new pink streaks...or maybe because I just watched The Incredibles. Hmm. Both! Incredibayley! Ok, no. Nevermind. And I'm not creative enough to come up with anything legitimately suitable for you. :\

Anonymous said...

That is just such a brilliant attitude to have, keep doing what you do Hayley G.

lindsey said...

Wow, this is my favorite post from you so far. Liberating and anti-stereotypical, Hayley G Hoover you have inspired me!

I'm going to go tattoo DFTBA on my face now.

Stephen H said...

Please dont ever stop writing :)
Happy for you mdear, u go girl :P

goldberry2000 said...

Your blogs always make me smile. It's like you're telling your own story in a completely unbiased way. Haha, that's the way to blog :P

Erin said...

That was incredibly inspirational. You sound happier now, too. I hope you really, and I like the idea of changing your hair to symbolize the end of a period in your life. I should start planning something like that for when I graduate.

hfm said...

An end of an era- but the beginning of something new.
I loved my years in school but University really gave me the chance to become somebody new- I suppose it's great we all get that chance where we can be the person we've always wanted to be.
I dunno.
Great post.

ginger jones said...

Your hair is awesome! I had highlighter orange put through mine when I left school. I guess you only live once and it'd be kinda weird if you did it when you were like fifty or something.

Kylie1403 said...

When i finished high school i dyed the tips of my hair blue (although within days it went a funny green) it was my little rebellion of w00t school is over HELLO WORLD LOOK AT ME! you know?

Becka said...

I can't understand why you weren't fan of yourself before. You've always been beautiful and unique.

Now you're beautiful and unique with pink hair :D

Anonymous said...

I need a symbol.

Dan said...

You are a pure inspiration to anybody who reads this.

VicMorrowsGhost said...

Pink hair = Awesome.
Pink haters = Too scared to try it.
Huzzah!

TommyKay said...

Even though I'm choosing to go back for two extra years, now I've left the world of compulsory education, I've dyed my hair red and after I've finished my exams, I should be getting my lip pierced. It feels good :)

MegTao said...

It's strange that you got those hate comments, all the ones I saw when I commented on the video were saying how awesome you are. Congrats on finishing high school. You're going to rock at University or College.

playmesomething said...

okay, jessica darling. wasn't she often confused with the porn star of the same name? ;)

you are a wonderful individual. just... i don't have much else to say. but i enjoy this blog so much.

Joey said...

*Insert something fanboylike*

Ow... and the hair is awesome. You're actually like a female charlieissocoollike.

Weirdly enough, I LOVED high school. Its college thats been a bitch. :S

ifmemoryserves said...

"Abercrombie speaks louder than words." is such a good line. Mostly because it's the truth.

Rachel said...

Your hair looks amazing!

I look at life like a good book. Some ups, some downs, and fun in-between. Your blog proves that. So thanks for all the insightful entries. [=

Shea said...

if I could, I'd print this entire blog post onto a mug (it's that inspirational)!

Anonymous said...

Your hair looks frickin hot. Coming from somebody who was too self-conscious to go to my own graduation, I really admire your attitude about it all. I'm trying to get there

seurat2 said...

We're all part rebel, part conservative, abd part just going with the flow. Your rebel part may be flowering right now, which should be fun to see. Congrats on getting through high school.

Brad said...

Congrats on getting the hell out of high school! It's not like those Disney cartoon birds are going to dance around your pink hair as soon as you get your diploma, but isn't that a nice thought?

lvly_raindrops said...

Hayley, if you like your hair, I like your hair.

Congratulations on escaping high school! Hope you enjoy college.

Oh, and how excited are you for Finding Hogwarts?

89ravenclaw said...

Yeah that whole "school is over" thing is interesting. I graduated 2 years ago and hardly ever think about high school. It's not this hovering thing of stress. When high school ends, you really have entered into a re-start zone of your life. It's like some old alter-ego, or at least that's how people react when I tell them about High School Bre, when all they've ever known is Art School Bre.

I haven't totally forgotten about high school. In fact, my closest friends are still the ones I met in high school. But I don't think about the stress it caused; I only think about the highs and it's oddities (aka that crazy teacher every school has).

So good-bye high school Hayley, and hello Pink-Haired-And-Less-Stressed-College Hayley, I can't wait to get to know you better.

Anonymous said...

This made me happy :)

And I still maintain that your hair looks cooltastic.

- Ali x

Johanna said...

This is probably one of my favorite posts of yours. So well written. You rock!

alittlevoice said...

I LOVE the hair. I wish I had the guts to dye my hair, change my name, and reinvent myself. GAH! Life. *sigh*

You are great! <3

A.J. James said...

You are so many levels of awesome... and video commenters suuuuuck.... hearts

Jim said...

HayleyGHoover

This blog post has left me terribly divided. A part of me is thinking "This is the one of the most eloquent things I've ever read. I should quit reading her blog today. She can't top that." And another part of me believes that the best is still yet to come.

Seriously Miss Hoover, Wow..

erngirl said...

This is possibly my favorite blog by you so far. I love all your anecdotes. :)

Anonymous said...

Despite your sometimes "preppy" appearance in your videos, I could still always tell you were really a rebel that couldn't fit into any stereotype.
You mocked popular high school culture way too well, that was a dead giveaway.
I have to echo everybody else and say this is one of my favorite posts.
It wraps up the end of high school and how everyone should feel about it so perfectly.
Now I can't wait to hear your thoughts on college life!
-Randi

Callidora said...

Your hair looks gorgeous! I have wanted pink hair for awhile now (about a year) but I think I'll hold off a bit longer as I don't think my mom would survive the heart attack :) Maybe I'll die it red...

Wow, can't believe how good I am at making everything about me. Sorry.

TESS said...

I've been reading your blog for a while now but I just had to comment for the first time to say, DEAR GOD, I LOVE YOU. this blog was beautiful and by the time I got to the last paragraph I just wanted to jump up and start applauding you. well said.

ps. one of my best friends kept her hair pink for a majority of college last semester. I always felt so cool walking next to her. I feel like I should write that on a postcard and send it into PostSecret.

Tabathaa<3 said...

i know what you mean about the whole "Delinquent" thing, because about a year ago i had a funky blue, purple, red[sorta] and blond thing going on, and most people gave me that look. You know the one where they REALLY want to say something, but won't because they don't want to bring attention to your attention seeking ways. Sigh, life was good then.

These are pictures of what my hair looked like if you want to look:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=30469&id=510636887&op=12#/photo.php?pid=709413&id=510636887

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=30469&id=510636887&op=12#/photo.php?pid=709414&id=510636887

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=30469&id=510636887&op=12#/photo.php?pid=709420&id=510636887

Hair like that got attention, so next to that, your hair seems very mundane.