Maureen Johnson makes the internet better.

After an annoyingly stressful day (Screw you, school newspaper!), Jess and I drove around a bit as we always do. After properly identifying the dead cat in the middle of the road by her house as a coincidental look-alike to her pet kitten--that was fun-- she suggested that we de-stress with a box of Oreos at the park. Actually, she said something more along the lines of, "Let's eat Oreos at the pa--" closed her mouth, coughed, and restarted, "I would never, ever eat Oreos at the park. That's a terrible idea." Alas, we once ate Oreos at the park. Me, Jess, and Justin Timberlake.

I have a brilliant best friend. Not only did she predict mid-sentence what my exact response would be, she immediately started writing fictional letters to Justin Timberlake, aloud for my listening pleasure. "I'll make him drink poison. Like, Coke E.Coli. Dear Justin Timberlake, if I had fifty boxes of Oreos, I wouldn't eat them. I would send them to you and poison them." This means a lot coming from Jess, as 1) I don't know if she could seriously refrain from eating fifty boxes of Oreos (her tiny waist and long legs are so unfair), and 2) she doesn't usually joke about causing people pain/sickness/near-death.

Aaaanyway. I went on a job hunt afterwards, applying at one bookstore and two food shops, representing both my life's passions. I was waylaid on my way out of Barnes & Noble by the necessary task of checking John Green's books for Nerdfighter notes, and ended by making eye-contact with a paperback of Maureen Johnson's The Bermudez Triangle. I flopped into one of those ridiculously comfortable plush chairs across from a slightly creepy balding man, just for a second, just for a few pages. An immeasurable amount of time and eighty pages later, I consciously willed my fingers away from the covers, sped to the check-out, and raced home. This book is good. 

The incredible thing is that I have a ton of mutual friends with the author. As Holden Caulfield said, "What really knocks me out is a book that, when you're all done reading it, you wish the author that wrote it was a terrific friend of yours and you could call him up on the phone whenever you felt like it." I don't know Maureen Johnson, no, but for one, she's sort of responsible for my love of blogging, and for two, I could get into contact with her right this second if I wanted to. I have a saved email from Megan McCafferty, I talk to John Green on a regular and friendly basis, and I've had contact with tons of other authors I admire. The internet is awesome.

Speaking of contact with brilliant people, reading my blog comments is my favorite part of the day. Thanks to Shay Bay for cracking me up, and shakethedust for giving some really cute and touching advice. Cynthia, your English is beautiful and impressive. To all those asking, yes, I bought the dress in a coral-salmon-pink shade. A, your N*SYNC jokes made me laugh. And Katy, I look forward to your comments-- you guys have express permission to dump any of your emotional drama on me! It makes me feel like we're all semi-anonymous friends/therapists for each other.

Again. The internet is awesome.

Sexy: Authors with the ability to transport their readers to a whole new world or way of life. I'm laughably straight, and I totally understand the feelings of Avery and Mel (The Bermudez Triangle again). You go, MJ.

Unsexy: Anyone who isn't thewinekone. (Contradictory? Maybe. Somehow true? Mmhmm.)

Chipotle burritos this year: 19

Subscribers: 16,138

Days left of high school: 5

Bye, guys! Hopefully I'll see you tomorrow. <3