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Monday, May 18, 2009

Maureen Johnson makes the internet better.

After an annoyingly stressful day (Screw you, school newspaper!), Jess and I drove around a bit as we always do. After properly identifying the dead cat in the middle of the road by her house as a coincidental look-alike to her pet kitten--that was fun-- she suggested that we de-stress with a box of Oreos at the park. Actually, she said something more along the lines of, "Let's eat Oreos at the pa--" closed her mouth, coughed, and restarted, "I would never, ever eat Oreos at the park. That's a terrible idea." Alas, we once ate Oreos at the park. Me, Jess, and Justin Timberlake.

I have a brilliant best friend. Not only did she predict mid-sentence what my exact response would be, she immediately started writing fictional letters to Justin Timberlake, aloud for my listening pleasure. "I'll make him drink poison. Like, Coke E.Coli. Dear Justin Timberlake, if I had fifty boxes of Oreos, I wouldn't eat them. I would send them to you and poison them." This means a lot coming from Jess, as 1) I don't know if she could seriously refrain from eating fifty boxes of Oreos (her tiny waist and long legs are so unfair), and 2) she doesn't usually joke about causing people pain/sickness/near-death.

Aaaanyway. I went on a job hunt afterwards, applying at one bookstore and two food shops, representing both my life's passions. I was waylaid on my way out of Barnes & Noble by the necessary task of checking John Green's books for Nerdfighter notes, and ended by making eye-contact with a paperback of Maureen Johnson's The Bermudez Triangle. I flopped into one of those ridiculously comfortable plush chairs across from a slightly creepy balding man, just for a second, just for a few pages. An immeasurable amount of time and eighty pages later, I consciously willed my fingers away from the covers, sped to the check-out, and raced home. This book is good. 

The incredible thing is that I have a ton of mutual friends with the author. As Holden Caulfield said, "What really knocks me out is a book that, when you're all done reading it, you wish the author that wrote it was a terrific friend of yours and you could call him up on the phone whenever you felt like it." I don't know Maureen Johnson, no, but for one, she's sort of responsible for my love of blogging, and for two, I could get into contact with her right this second if I wanted to. I have a saved email from Megan McCafferty, I talk to John Green on a regular and friendly basis, and I've had contact with tons of other authors I admire. The internet is awesome.

Speaking of contact with brilliant people, reading my blog comments is my favorite part of the day. Thanks to Shay Bay for cracking me up, and shakethedust for giving some really cute and touching advice. Cynthia, your English is beautiful and impressive. To all those asking, yes, I bought the dress in a coral-salmon-pink shade. A, your N*SYNC jokes made me laugh. And Katy, I look forward to your comments-- you guys have express permission to dump any of your emotional drama on me! It makes me feel like we're all semi-anonymous friends/therapists for each other.

Again. The internet is awesome.

Sexy: Authors with the ability to transport their readers to a whole new world or way of life. I'm laughably straight, and I totally understand the feelings of Avery and Mel (The Bermudez Triangle again). You go, MJ.
Unsexy: Anyone who isn't thewinekone. (Contradictory? Maybe. Somehow true? Mmhmm.)

Chipotle burritos this year: 19
Subscribers: 16,138
Days left of high school: 5

Bye, guys! Hopefully I'll see you tomorrow. <3

50 comments:

Christy said...

I wish I had a friend like jess. She sounds extremely awesome. I also wish I was friends with my favorite authors. Hayley, your blogs are amazing.

Maddinah said...

I bought The Bermudez Triangle a while ago, and when my mom found it on my desk and read the little back cover synopsis deal, she definitely thought that it was some sort of clandestine way for me to come out of the closet. That was an incredibly awkward conversation, seeing as I am not a lesbian. Her response: "Are you... sure??"

herfordship said...

I just love finding those "diamonds in the rough" at the bookstore, especially when I just happen to pick something up on a whim. Some of my favorite books are ones that I had never heard of until I laid eyes on it. One author I would love to actually have a conversation with would be Chuck Palahniuk...although who knows how that would turn out? :)

Lizzie said...

Ahhh you have no idea how awesome it is to be doing work and hating it and then seeing a new blog post from you!!! It makes me happy that you read our comments :) hope you will enjoy your last bits of high school as much as it is humanly possible to do so. :)

Tessa said...

hayley hoover makes the internet better.

Joanne said...

Hayley, your blogs are like a drug, and I go through withdrawl every day until you post.
That just made me sound like a really desperate person, and re-enforced the theory of you being a slave.
WHATEVER.
It's true and you know it.

Leah said...

The Bermudez Triangle is by far, by FAR my favorite Maureen Johnson book. It's just so... palpably real. So many YA books stray into the vaguely ridiculous, which I think is adorable. But Bermudez just... it gets you right there, y'know?

That and you're, uh, very much an Avery. And we both know it.

Every once in a while, I remember that I'm FINALLY going to meet Jess this August. *worldsplosion!*

Rennie said...

Hey, Hayley. I've never actually commented on your blog, and I've been reading it for a couple of months now, and I just wanted to say how much I love your entries. Your blogs make my day better, almost every day that you post them :) Thank you for that. On another note--I love the Bermudez Triangle. I would have to say that it is my favorite Maureen Johnson book. You mentioned sitting for awhile and reading almost 100 pages of the book in the bookstore. I've done that many times...once I read a whole book, and got yelled at by a snooty employee who told me to "Buy the book or go to the library!" I apologize for this long first comment. Next time I comment, it won't be this long. Have a nice day, Hayley.

Redcabbageispurple said...

Isn't she great? I started reading MJ's blogs before I read any of her books. Then I read Devilish and wanted to read more of her excellence.
Bermudez Triangle was the second book of hers I read (right after Devilish). It was brilliant.
Unlike you, I don't have internet connections, so I wouldn't be able to call up MJ if I wanted to.
The internet is amazing only to an extent: It is guaranteed that your followers will be notified when you are having a bad time, but it is nigh impossible for us to do the same to you, unless you secretly read all of our blogs.

Anonymous said...

The Bermudez Triangle just happens to be the BEST BOOK EVER! omg that book is seriously amazing. im happy u got the chance 2 read it. thank youuuuu Maureen johnson. =]

**have a sparkling day**
<33

Sasha said...

You make me want to blog. I have on multiple occasions forgot I was in a video chat because I was reading your blog and was particularly enthralled. Oh, and your countdown of days left in high school makes me extremely jealous.

Maya said...

Hayleyyy. I've never commented on your blog before, even though I've been reading it ever since the beginning of April. I just want to say that your blogs are the highlight of my day most of the times and they almost always make me either laugh hysterically or want to hug you (in a non-creepy way) or both. Just wanted to say that, if you read this. Thank youuuuu. :D

Tom said...

I understand your rantings about the worthlessness of high school. I myself am also a senior, and I have eight days to go. Today I only had two classes (because of standardized tests that freshman and sophmores take). First there was aviation, in which I read old sparksflyup blog posts/radio pieces whilst my classmates tested shitty styrofoam airplanes. Secondly, I am also in newspaper, and today was spent trying to subtley insert this picture of a monkey into the DPS of the final issue (this is like an epic, epic inside joke with the staff). But yeah. Worthless, worthless hours of my life when I could very well be...sitting at home reading old sparksflyup stuff.

Aly said...

I once read a book I really liked so I friended the guy who wrote it on Facebook. I was really surprised he friended me back and so I sent him a message proclaiming my love for his writing style. We ended up sending some messages back and forth and he even entrusted me with some writing tips. Every once and a while I send him a message asking what he's up to and if he's working on any new projects. He's a beginning writer so I think it's exciting for him to know he has a loyal fan, and it's obviously exciting for me when he responds to my comments. Yes, the internet is incredibly awesome.

megkatjo said...

It's very strange reading "Maureen Johnson," because always for a split second I think it says "Megan Johnson," which is in fact, MY name.

seurat2 said...

I hope you get one of those jobs Hayley, a bookstore one would be just about perfect. And soon all this high school angst will be behind you and you can look forward to the higher quality university angst.

Khy said...

Bermudez Triangle! I <3 that book. Actually, I <3 all MJ books. Bermudez Triangle is a favorit, though. It ranks after Suite Scarlett. But I think my undeniable love for Spencer in Suite Scarlett influences the ranking of MJ books.

Natasha said...

I just wanted to thank you for pretty much forcing the Jessica Darling series on me through your blog. I got Sloppy Firsts from the library and realized I'd already read it and didn't enjoy it very much the first time, but after a couple more blog entries from you, I put the other four on hold. The fourth came in first, so I read it. Then I read the final one, which I personally think was AMAZING and could maybe stand alone. Now I'm reading the other two that I missed, and I'm enjoying them a lot.
So THANKS!

(On a random note, the comment up there that wishes you a "sparkly day" made me think of Edward Cullen. I'm not proud.)

Krazy_4_Kelly said...

Bermudez Triangle is one of my favorite books ever. And Jess sounds like an amazing friend. Those didn't relate but everyone else already made comments on each so I just decided to mention each instead of declaring my undying love for Bermudez Triangle and complaining how I wish that my "Jess" lived in the same state as me. The internet is great to get me her but geography is stupid.

Btw, you make me very jealous sometimes. You can brag soooo much that you actually talk to John on a regular and friendly basis yet you're so humble about everything you have going for you. You make my days better <3

Valerie said...

I love starting a book, thinking you're only going to read a few pages. Then, you finish the book a few hours later, look up, and wonder what the heck just happened. So fun!

joy isobel said...

I just restarted The Bermudez Triangle again today too! Hmm... that's kind of coincidentally strange.
Also, thanks to you, I've been listening to N*SYNC for the past 24 hours or so. The evidence is in my "Recommended for You" box. Dear oh dear.

Katy said...

I'm glad my angst didn't make you gag or anything.

Also, I found that looking at pictures of puppies helps immensely.

http://www.dailypuppy.com/

Melissa said...

Hayley, you make the internet better and I hope you keep blogging/writing for a ridiculously long time because you have such an amazing way with words and reading what you write makes my day so much better. Goodness, that was such a suck-up move on my part, but it's definitely true. :)
(That was a totally weird fangirl-type moment. I hope that didn't come over all creepy and such.)

Also, I totally agree with the sexy thing of the day. heh.

A.J. James said...

I have to disagree with you on one point... ASsTruly you make the Internet better...
and so to every Following commenter I challenge them to end their Comment with

HayleyGHoover Makes The internet better.

Gavin said...

You are so lucky Hayley, I wish I could be friends with my favourite authors. I wish i could be friends with Jack Kerouac... Obviously impossible due to the minor complication of him not being alive. I would love to tell him how I'm developing a fairly unhealthy obsession with 'On the Road'. I wonder how my attempt to do it in a totally non stalker way would work out... Hmmmm, i wonder.

Nokorola said...

Your friends all rock Hayley, as do Oreos... "Justin Timberlake" obviously does not. I hope your last week-ish of High School is bearable. Keep the party jumpin' Hayley.


ps. I hope the Chipotle burrito was good. I need to try one, or three and see if I like them.

Gavin said...

Sorry, i didn't see that.

I agree

hayleyghoover makes the internet better.

A said...

Why yes, I am reading and responding to your blog instead of doing my giant project due tomorrow. Do you have a point?

I say you sic us on Justin next time he internet stalks you. That's an excellent plan.

One of these days I'll take you up on your offer to explode my drama on you, and then you'll regret it. :)

I kind of feel like this blog is an exclusive club. Maybe we should all have a big blogTV chat or something.

Faith said...

1)I wish I had money, so I could buy Maureen Johnson books. I also wish I could drive so I didn't have to depend on my parents to take me to Borders. (Although since I got my love of books from my mother, it's not that hard to get her to take me to the bookstore.)

2)I have a friend who is almost exactly like Jess, whose name is Jess. Coincidence, huh?

3)I wish I had a Chipotle near me so I could try 3 burritos and see how amazing they are.

4)A.J. James told me too: Hayleyghoover makes the internet better.

Scott said...

I thought I was going to be original by writing "Hayley Hoover makes the internet better", but I've been beaten to the punch.

And I totally agree with fellow-reader "A". I feel like I know you and some of the other daily commenters; like we all belong to an elite little clique. We definitely need to have an internet meeting of sorts!

Kristina said...

I love the Bermudez Triangle.

Also, I LOVE that Catcher quote. I've had it in my facebook quotes section, incidentally, since before I COULD call up some of my favorite authors after finishing their books. :D

shecaptain said...

Well, I strive to blog like you and am always thrilled when I sign in to blogger and see that you have updated. I'm going to try to comment more because 1) I want into this friendship/therapy relationship. I find one can never have too many of these. And 2) I can so, why would I pass that up?

goldensnitch said...

Just think if JKR was on the internet more frequently and we could watch her videos and read more of her blogs. Ohhhhh how I dream!

The Vagabond said...

Darn it, Hayley! I was trying to save money. But I suppose since you recommend it then I will have to buy it. Glad to see that Chipoltle burrito count go up. I suppose I should move mine up sometime since it's still at 1 for my entire life.

proudveggie said...

It really annoys me that pretty much no bookshops sell John Green books in England. The nearest Borders has one copy of Looking for Alaska and that is IT! It's a travesty.

It's so cool that you're friends with your favourite authors...makes me a little jealous if I'm honest

=D

As always, your blog makes me happy

<3

Erin said...

Good luck with those jobs you applied for, Hayley. Speaking of jobs, I would love to work at a bookstore or a library. I can already see myself trying to decide what kind of person the shoppers are just by the books that they buy. Because of your recommendation of the Bermudez Triangle, I'm going to head out to the library tomorrow and pick it up.

Just, Ale said...

Sometimes when I'm having a crappy day at school, I go to lunch and sit down at the table--my friends make me laugh and smile. For a brief moment I forget how I have this big weight on my shoulders. The same applies to your blog. Thanks for making me smile. =)

Katy J said...

Yay! The Bermudez Triangle is a wonderful book! I'm sorry your last few weeks of high school haven't been the greatest. However, I am glad you have friends like Jess. Hold on to her forever. I hope you get one of the jobs you applied for! <3

sugandha90 said...

Hayley,

You are so awesome, I wish I was you. And for reasons unbeknowst to me, I cried after reading that entry.

(And now, I urge you to stare at the word 'unbeknownst' for a bit because it just looks wrong .

Point is, I'm glad MJ got you into blogging because your posts are so interesting. Once again, they make me realise that you are a REAL person, living your life in another continent.

I look forward to reading them because they're awlways well written and often entertaining.

I wish I had a best-friend, but I'm happy that you have such a wonderful friend :)

Enjoy your last few days at school because Uni is awesome, so you might as well savour the 'high-school' atmosphere.
<3

Leesa said...

It is so neat to be able to peak into the lives of authors. I will have to check Maureen Johnson out.

Catherine said...

The Bermudez Triangle is my favorite of MJ's books. I know exactly how Avery and Mel feel. And, as I am laughably not straight, it kind of hit close to home for me. I want to reccomend it to my friend, but I don't want her to get the wrong impression (as she is one of the only people I've come out to, which is weird because I have no problem writing about it online, mostly because the people I interact with online would accept it, just as I'm sure it would make my remaining high school life hell if it was made common knowledge.) So, it conclusion, best friends are amazing in every single way, and you can't help but fall madly in love with them.

Becka said...

I feel the same about so many people I follow on the internet- John and Hank, you, the rest of the 5AG- you're all these amazing, talented and intelligent people. You all make the internet better.

And I love your blogs, because it stops you being some scary internet figure, and turns you into a person who I really rather like.

Its a bit like knowing one of your faveourite authors, only without the whole published books bit.

Patty said...

A couple of months ago i bought all the Maureen novels i could find on amazon, I like the bermudez triangle but my favorite is Girl at Sea. Although I have to admit that of all the Maureen Johnson I’ve read the story that she publish in Let it snow is the one that I love the most. I almost never get to comment here because I have to read this at work :( but today I’m skipping lunch it was time I get my priorities in order. I feel very intrigued about all the love you express for chipotle here I can’t seem to find a place that serves it, but when I visit my brother in Albany in November I will find a place and try chipotle at least 4 times (which is going to mean that I’m going to eat chipotle once a day because I’m only staying there for a week)..ok everything than can possible go wrong has gone (hope is ok to say it like that) wrong. I hate my job and in that subject I hope you get the job in the bookstore you are awesome recommending books, you should share your gift. I’m happy to announce (not quite sure to who I’m announcing) that after this month’s paycheck I can afford the Jessica Darling series (not crazy about the extra charge for delivering to Peru but I have no choice). This comment is getting big so I’ll stop soon, I just want to say that I had a JT in my life, really it takes a lot of time to get over it but the feelings go away although (and this is just me because I’m weird) some stuff is going to make you come back to this feelings but they are not going the same. I just can’t stop the smile that comes to my mouth when I see his favorite soccer teams loose.
Ok this is officialy too long so im going now. Bye!!!!
Oh I have a little request when you put links to youtube videos most of the time they are not allowed for my country (like I never heard Nsync sing come on youtube!) could you put like a note there telling to what it links to, if you don’t want too it’s ok.

kalimagination said...

The Bermudez Triangle is such a fantastic book. When I was at the book store, I asked my mother if she'd buy it for me since I didn't have any money with me. My mother is extremely religious and believes homosexuality to be a sin, so I covered up the last sentence of the back summary with the price sticker so she wouldn't know what the book was about. When I presented the book to my mother, she took a glance through it to make sure it didn't have much/any swearing in it and then declared it clean. It made me pretty happy to get away with something like that :)

The world would be a very sad place with out Maureen Johnson, I think.

Katy said...

Those damn oreo eating skinny people.

Melody said...

Jess sounds totally awesome. Isn't it great to have had a friend like her for practically your entire life? I have a friend who I've known since I was three, and I love the fact that we've grown up so close.

She and I actually have an Oreo-eating history too...When we were twelve, we may have gone through four whole boxes of Double Stuff together in less than two hours...

A word to the wise: Oreo gunk + mint toothpaste = THE WORST TASTE IN THE WORLD.

Don't try it.

Allysa said...

i agree with two commenters on two fronts:
a) i think we all go through withdrawl everyday until you blog
b) hayleyghoover makes the internet better

Allysa said...

oh and c) Oreo gunk and toothpaste?
...
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew

Rachel said...

Jess sounds like such a cool person. I just love The Bermudez Triangle. It depicts high school friends/relationships so well. I think. I wouldn't know. Your blogs are ridiculously entertaining by the way. [=

Kaitlyn said...

I'm reading The Bermudez Triangle right now. I have about 100 pages left. It's really good. I've been afraid to tell anyone IRL, though, which is probably silly.