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Friday, May 8, 2009

A Sex-Charged Library Adventure

I'm not going to talk about the Scrubs finale, because, while my eyes became wet, I did not SHED any tears. And if I talk about it right now, my lack of crying will go from technical to nonexistent.

Hey, robros. I just came home from the library, because that's what I do in my spare time to keep myself from doing things like this. It was an eventful visit, to say the least. My brother's moving into my sister's old house sometime soon, so he borrowed my truck for hauling bookcases, leaving me with his nice car. The thing about driving a pickup truck older than you are, is that sometimes you forget that other people's brakes work and gas meters don't lie. Anyway, Jacob Black (my car) usually disarms people enough that they don't bother harass me. But without him? On my way into the library, I had to pass a large group of stoned teenage boys. They smiled, whistled, laughed, etc., and threw out comments like, "Hey, sexy thing. Oh, she's a good one. I like her walk!" As soon as I passed, the voice of a girl (What kind of girl hangs out with people like that?!) squeals, "Nick, stop looking at her ass!" Nick's a defensive guy. "I wasn't looking at her ass!" he retorted. "You are now," said one of his cohorts. "Yeeeaaah," said Nick. "Never mind."

Thanks, Nick! Luckily for me, I was hit on by the man behind the counter as I checked out. He looked through my stack of movies/CD and said, and I quote, "Oh my God, I think I'm in love with you. Good choices." This would have been a little bit more intriguing if he had been taller than 5'2" and younger than thirty-five, but it was a step up from Nick & co. Counter Guy's fortunate that they still haven't gotten in my copy of Miley Cyrus: Miles to Go. To stand in Miley's place (temporarily), I picked up:

--Amelie. It's my number-one favorite movie of all time, but I don't own it because that would take away all the excitement. This way it's always a treat.
--The Science of Sleep. Another favorite that I've been meaning to re-watch, as I've been having a strange recurring dream the past week. I'm in some kind of thrift or costume shop that's a combination of a vintage store in a nearby town and the layout of a bakery I've been to. My dreamland boyfriend works there, and while I can't remember his name when I wake up, he definitely has one in the dream. He sort of resembles this creepy guy who sits in the back of mine and Jess's Taco Bell, but he has his own distinct face. While I wait for him, a silent woman with dyed blue hair smiles widely and stands too close to me, but I'm not uncomfortable with it. She's like a normal size eight or ten woman, but she's a little bit bigger than real people, like she's been blown up on photoshop. Her face is really big and round. ...And that's the dream. I know that sounds boring and pointless, but I can see both of them perfectly in my head right now, and that's freaky. ANYWAY.
--Stranger than Fiction. I saw it once about two years ago, but I didn't appreciate it because I was sick. We'll give it another chance.
--Little Miss Sunshine. I HAVE CHECKED OUT THIS MOVIE ABOUT TWELVE TIMES, EVERYONE I LOVE HAS COMMANDED THAT I WATCH IT, AND I SOMEHOW NEVER HAVE. That changes this week.
--The Squid and the Whale. I know absolutely nothing about this movie, other than that Laura Linney is in it and the cover looks trippy.
--Flight of the Conchords's The Distant Future. How can these songs still make me laugh when I've memorized them and anticipate all the jokes? I can't hear "I've been making a lasagna. For one," without cracking up. There's another recommendation for you guys! Flight of the Conchords. They're the most beautiful band in the whole wide room.

On an unrelated note, my audition went well today. It wasn't the most beautiful thing to ever come out of my mouth, but the three boys who auditioned had trouble hitting the final note, and the other girl is almost as bad a singer as she is a person. We'll see!

Sexy: New Zealand accents! Especially coming from dark, saucy, and hilarious men. Speaking like robots.
Unsexy: Loitering with your fellow pubescents in front of public buildings for no purpose other than to annoy/intimidate/objectify women.

Chipotle burritos this year: 16
Subscribers: 15,892
Days left of high school: 12

Bye, guys! Hopefully I'll see you tomorrow. <3

47 comments:

Joseph said...

After reading this blog through BEDA I have wondered what a chipotle burrito is? I could google it, but I'm sure you'll offer a better description.
You have more guts than me, I'd be too embarrassed to check out MC's book.

durtei. said...

=)) wow. another blog update.

AlanDistro said...

Stranger Than Fiction is one of my fav movies. You'll enjoy it, I think. And Little Miss Sunshine is brilliant. I hesitated renting it for months, finally gave in, and loved it.

Catherine said...

What if the stoners had said you were the most beautiful girl in the whole wide room instead of commenting on your ass? That would be something out of a dream...

Anonymous said...

They're so beautiful, they could be part-time models...but they'd probably still have to keep their regular jobs. And yes, definitely sexy. But Hayley, the real question is: Bret or Jemaine?

And congrats on your audition, and I may have said this before but I love this blog and it makes me squee-ingly happy that you kept it up after BEDA ended, and let us know what you think of Little Miss Sunshine!

Also, girls who hang out in libraries are the coolest. I think we should start calling it Hermione chic, no?

- Ali x

hfm said...

Flight of the Concords- geniusly funny. I hadn't heard of them until quite recently, and I ADORE their lyrics, they're so morbidly funny, it's like you want to pity them but you're too busy laughing over the floor.

eibbore said...

Would it be weird if I said

Oh my God. I think I'm in love with you

But seriously, awesome films.

::allison:: said...

Little Miss Sunshine is awesomesauce. [=
Totally w/ you on the loitering thing; I got catcalled walking from my public high school to my mom's car by the private prep school boys waiting for their bus to pull out of its stop at my high school. I've also had a similar situation at burger king with people I know. I also got a pedophilic smile-wave combo from one of the people from the burger king incident when he saw me walk into a tree while going to the library. C'est la vie.

*high five about your solo*
(obnoxiously long comment, sorry!)

Becka said...

I freaking love Flight of the Conchords. I actually adore them.

So... faveourite song? For me, its tied between Leggy Blonde, and The Humans Are Dead.

Marley said...

Hey Hayley. I enjoy Ameile too. I went to a party at this friend-of-my dad's house and we watched it with english subtitles while eating licorace (SP?) and Creme Brule (which is actully amazing)

I saw Stranger Than Fiction 2 years ago on spring break to Arizona. She and her husband lived there, and she was like "I want to rent a movie" so we drove out to the movie rental store and looked for awhile and decided on Stranger than Fiction. Anyway, I definatley think it's worth while. It's funny, charming, cute, and heart warming. Enjoy yourself. :) Have a great day. By the way I share your Chipotle love. I have probably had about 9 burritos this year... :)

Anonymous said...

Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!!

rosita. said...

I love 'Stranger than Fiction'! Enjoy it!

A.J. James said...

Little Miss Sunshine is Amazing... Have you seen Chocolat??? such a good Story, I am constantly forcing people to watch it... "scsx mbn" My kitten says hello... she has discovered the keyboard....(Quotations added in post....

Joanne said...

Isn't it awesome when people compliment your taste in movies? Whenever I rent movies, the guy behind the counter tells me that I'm the only person who doesn't consistently choose crappy movies, and we talk about pretty much every movie ever made. Also, he never charges me late fees and gives me a lot of discounts, which is sweet like splenda, since it tastes like sugar, but is not.

Pablo said...

I'm from Brazil and I read your blog every day. It's just so cool. Not to mention I love the way you write; by reading it my English gets better, believe it or not! Haha. Just to let you know.

You're the best! o/

Leesa said...

I have not seen any of the movies you mentioned. Perhaps I will watch a few now.

Chris. said...

I think Little Miss Sunshine is amazing, but it can be a little... uncomfortable? I just bought the Flight Of The Conchords Season 1 on dvd the other day, i plan to not move tomorow and watch all of it. 'The Humans Are Dead' is GENIUS!!

Darci O. said...

I think I'm having the same reaction as the 5'2" 30 year old. <3

Very seriously, every single one of those movies is a keeper. I love them all.

kelsothebum said...

I must admit, New Zealanders are pretty awesome. I know this, of course, because I am one. And Flight of the Conchords are the awesomest New Zealanders EVAAAAAAAR!

Marlena said...

I've never seen Amelie. I should probably get on that.

"Kathryn" said...

I just watched the trailer for The Squid and the Whale, and it looks pretty good. I love all the other movies you mentioned, though I have yet to see Stranger Than Fiction. I'll probably have to "holla at" that pretty soon. 0-><

Aly said...

The Squid and the Whale is really really weird and depressing. And Amelie is my SECOND favorite movie of all time, second only to Harold and Maude. You should check it out - it is one of those movies that some people love and lots of people hate, but if you love it it will change your life.

Anonymous said...

WOAH YOU HAVE ANOTHER CHANNEL?!?! more hayley-ness! scoree!

**have a sparkling day**
<33

Dan said...

You're lucky Hayley. I'm bigger than my car so people laugh when I get into it because I'm tall and my car is small.
Amelie is possibly the greatest film I have ever seen. I watched it last week when it was on the TV. I love Little Miss Sunshine as well. It is soooooo funny. I'm resisting the urge to quote it now.

Have a good day beautiful.

valerie2776 said...

Stranger than Fiction is fantastic! Like REALLY fantastic!

Cat(: said...

Ahhh, flight of the conchords. A few weekends ago i went to see them in concert(: the concert was a teensy bit disappointing cause they didnt play many season 1 hits, but it was still AWESOME. they had a guy named nigel who played the CELLO through the whole thing. It was soooo cool. We stayed after and were able o meet them(: i offered them my reeses cup and bret ate it(: highlight of my life. Eugene mirman(he has a small role on the show; hes the landlord.) did a standup show before and it was HILARIOUS. he told this story about how much he hated delta and then had postcards telling how much he hated them which he gave out for everyone in the audience to send to delta.

Kara said...

Yesss, found your response channel.

I mean.

Cool about the audition. I really hope you get it!

Also, now I feel like just plopping down and watching a bunch of movies. Like I don't do this enough. Thanks.

goldensnitch said...

Little Miss Sunshine was a great movie. I know what you mean by how you can watch it so many times. I love it.

VicMorrowsGhost said...

A sex-charged library adventure?

Can you hold that for me? Oh yeah, put that on extended loan. You know I've got an extensive large format section. Tell me your biography, this isn't a novel baby it's non-fiction. Dewey decimal? More like Gooey decimal.

Luckily I couldn't come up with any funny jokes about periodicals. :\

Stefan said...

awesome movies. don't build Little Miss Sunshine up too much. no movie can live up to that kinda of hype.

if you like it though you may also want to try Sunshine Cleaning which has Amy Adams and is awesome.

Squid and the Whale seemed like it was in the same vein but didn't work as well for me. but different strokes and all... kinda like how some people loved The Life Aquatic while I think it's the weakest Wes Anderson movie.

I hope you report back on how the new movies went.

Tom said...

I did not enjoy The Squid and the Whale, because it was depressing as fuck. The one thing I really, really appreciated about it was one pretty irrelevant plotline about this song the kid plays at a talent show. And this hiarious thing he says about it afterward. You'll see.

I watched your Miley video...twice. For some reason. That is two minutes and twenty-three seconds I am never, ever getting back.

Tenley Nadine said...

New Zealand accents, always sexy. Oh and I must commend you on your choice of car names.

foofoox33 said...

I actually watched the Squid and the Whale. The cover is trippy? So is the entire movie. It was... interesting, to say the least.

Scott said...

I don't really have anything profound to comment on this entry, but I feel like in order to be a true hayleyghoover.blogspot.com-fanboy, I have to say something every entry you post.

So, I guess I'll just tell you that I too went to the library yesterday, and screamed when I saw that in my little rural Canadian town, Looking for Alaska is being promoted in the YA lit section. And I didn't even put it there. Score!

Nicholas said...

2x hit on in a library, huh? I should go there more often... and a very nice collection of films I have to say. I personally like to own movies that I love

a) for the stupid reason that I feel better when I have something that I love present and accessible all the time (don't judge me)

b) because I sometimes get a movie craving at odd hours and just NEED my fix.

Leah said...

My, my. SOMEone is doing Open Shut Them research. You disguise it as innocent fun, but I KNOW BETTER. Me and Counter Guy.

In related news, I don't think I ever COMMANDED that you watch Little Miss Sunshine. Just... suggest gently.

Anonymous said...

I have to say 2 things :

1.) Little Miss Sunshine and Amelie are literally in my list of my top 5 favorite movies ever. I'll be interested to hear what you think of LMS once you finally watch it.

2.) New Zealand accents are usually overlooked in favor of Britts or Aussies, but I got to travel to NZ in 2006 and I cannot describe how much I loved their accents and the country itself.
It's my favorite accent of all.
Sigh... now I'm desperate to talk to a New Zealander.

I also can't wait to hear if you got the part you want!

-Randi

RoboFillet said...

Amelie was the first artistic sort of film I ever watched and appreciated. I fell in love with it as soon as I saw it on late-night SBS (<-- that is funny, by the way). It's stayed as my number one favourite film since!

One of my life-goals is to watch and understand it without subtitles.

goddess-of-ice said...

I hope you get the solo! Guys like that are the reason why I don't walk places by myself. I find walking in a large pack of boys helps block unwanted attention.

Jennifer said...

Stranger than Fiction is one of my favorite movies simply because of Dustin Hoffman's performance. I <3 him.

Kelly said...

Amelie used to be one of my favorites, but I recently had to write my final french paper on it. There is something about watching Amelie and Dufayel discuss "la fille au verre d'eau" a million times that ruins the movie for me.

Elisabeth said...

amelie is my favorite movie of all time.

Johanna Jezebel said...

You were already my favorite 5AG, but now you're, like, SUPER favorite because of Amelie.
AMELIE!!!

Also, I get hit on in the library all the time. What is it about standing in the YA section that makes people think you're looking for dates? Ugh.

ginger jones said...

Jermaine lives in the town I work in. I frequently see him on peoples facebook pages from nights on the town while they're all pretty trashed and he's sober as.

Im not sure if that makes sense but I'm too tired to correct it.

proudveggie said...

Thank you for not going into detail about the Scrubs finale...we're not up to that point here in the UK.

Flight of the Conchords are 100% awesome! I love them. So very much.

Me and my friend got wolf-whistled, beeped at and generally harassed about six times between my house and a party we were going to yesterday...not fun times.

Kaitlyn said...

I have to defend The Squid and the Whale. I really liked it. It's strange and uncomfortable and sometimes sad, but I think Noah Baumbach is brilliant.

Anonymous said...

on the street, depending on the street, flight of the conchords are definitely in the top three.