Friday, May 15, 2009

Blogging, whether I wanna or not

"I'm not going to blog tonight," said Hayley.
"Really?" Hayley replied. "Are you capable of not blogging?"
"Why do you doubt me? If I don't feel like blogging, I won't blog. Stay out of this," Hayley said.
"Oh, all right. It's just--"
"It's just what?" demanded an exhausted Hayley, still wearing an abundance of eyeliner from her choir show. She rubbed with her palm at said eyeliner, which was already doing much more than lining her eyes, as there was a good centimeter of it.
"It's just that you're a slave to your readers," quoth Hayley, amidst a yawn. "I don't think you can honestly go to bed having given them nothing."
Hayley was defeated. She glanced halfheartedly at her computer's clock, and with exactly thirty minutes left, began to type a blog entry.

Things you need to know about opening night:
--The "Seasons of Love" soloist nailed his part, and although I still felt a pang of jealousy, I was proud of him. I'm so self-centered. He needs recognition way more than I do.
--My boyfriendthing and I are the talk of the town. We got a lot of nudges and giggles tonight. People stared at me expectantly whenever he spoke, and trust me, he speaks more than anyone else I've ever met. Freshman girls sighed with dismay when he leaned on my shoulders to mark his territory. As if people are fighting him for it!
--My parents said my jewelry looked ridiculous. And I wasn't even really trying to be stupid with it. So.

Things you don't need to know about the rest of my day:
--In typing up responses to senior surveys for the newspaper, I remembered once again how little I feel for anyone in my class. I'm amused by my friends' answers, annoyed with my enemies', and bored by everyone else's. I'm perfectly okay with never talking to any of those people again, save four or five.
--I think my ex-boyfriend continues to leave cryptic messages for/about me on the internet. About how much he despises me. I could be flattering myself with this assumption, but I'm fairly amused. I bet he's skimming this right now. Heeeey.
--I'm sad. Without reason; just am.

Sexy: Black ties.
Unsexy: Black bandanas tied around foreheads. You do not look like a gangsta. You look like a skinny suburban white kid who lives on a farm and performs in pops concerts with a high school choir.

Chipotle burritos this year: 18
Subscribers: 16,074
Days left of high school: 6

Bye, guys! Hopefully I'll see you tomorrow. <3


Dan said...

I wish you weren't sad Hayley. Is there anything we can do for you? Maybe sing you a song or something.
I'm glad your show went well.

You aren't a slave to us, we are slaves to your wit and honesty. The world is a better place with a blog post from Hayley.

Have a great day.

Anne Boleyn said...

You're not a slave, Hayley. Don't let us make you feel that way D:

Katy said...

aww Hayley. Don't feel obligated to blog. We won't come after you with pitchforks or anything.

Well... I won't. Can't speak for your crazier fans, though. :/ Sleep with one eye open; someone found Kristina that one time...

Thinkoutloud77 said...

You can't NOT write a blog! Then we'd have nothing good in this world to look forward to! Glad your show went well and hopefully there was less drama than before. Don't be sad, then you make your flock (flock? Or gaggle?) of followers sad too :( Well I hope you have a good last week of high school. With college coming around, you can't forget about us small people.

Have a great weekend.

Jordan said...

On the bright side, you seem to be making a LOT of headway with getting over your ex. And I'm not just talking about your new boyfriendthing. I went back and looked at some of your earliest entries (I was trying to find the link to that Eliott/JD video... *cough*) and just... the way you speak about your ex has really evolved. I'm glad that it's not so bitter anymore. Like, it still sucks and all, but it's not. Um. "Raw festering wound" was my first choice of words?

Anyway. I'm sad that you're sad. But all this stupid hierarchical bullshit ends SO SOON. And as someone who just finished her first year of college, and judging by the way you talked about your last visit... I promise you that it's more than enough to make you feel better. College, that is. It is a balm for high school wounds.

I said "wounds" twice, so I'm just gonna quit while I'm ahead.

Thanks for blogging even when you didn't want to. My day doesn't seem complete without it.

Ian said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
J said...

"My boyfriendthing and I are the talk of the town"

That is exactly why high school is not cool and life is better once you get out.

ivebeentheatrefied said...

Sorry, I accidentally posted a comment under my brother's account lol.

Anyways, don't feel obligated to blog. I enjoy your blog so much but you shouldn't have to feel like you have to blog every day. I'm glad your concert went well. And I'm feeling sad today too.

Faith said...

Hayley, you are not a slave to me- you are an unpaid servant against your will! JK.

Seriously, don't feel obligated to blog. I love it when you do- whenever I see your name in google reader, I say "Oh, yay!" and save your post until last, but you don't have to if you don't want to!

I'm glad your choir show went well!

Quintus Severus said...

You write very amusingly - I'm sure I'm the zillionth person to say so, but the statement stands all the same.

SnakesAndWorms said...

I feel so much better knowing that I'm not the only one that felt that way towards my senior class when I graduated.

And you know what's good for those unwarranted sad spells? Emotional sensory overload. Listen to emotional music (want suggestions? Say the word and I swear to you I'll make a mix cd and mail it to you), watch a moving movie, and just simply feel bad for yourself.

Sure it sounds self-indulgent, but who cares, no even needs to know you did it. If you don't feel better, talk to someone you haven't talked to for a while, and if at all possible hug em' hardcore.

Allyson said...

I'm just an outsider... but it seems to me that you aren't very happy with this boyfriendthing. I mean, you have only been going out for a few days and since day one you seem to give the impression that you're just ho-hum about it, instead of head over heels giddy!

I don't know. This isn't meant to be a mean comment. You're still awesome. It's just an observation.

Janelle said...

Interesting that you still call him 'boyfriendthing'. Seems like you're still not entirely sure on the whole situation.

Thanks for blogging today even when you didn't feel like it - mind you don't feel like you have to! We'll love you anyway!

Anonymous said...

"I'm perfectly okay with never talking to any of those people again, save four or five."
Magnificently harsh. Love it. Don't ever start censoring this blog.

Gabby R said...

As far as I can tell, your ex-boyfriend definitely is leaving cryptic messages for you on his blog. I mean, I guess you did that too... not quite so cryptic, though. It seems like he's trying to be Joe. Sometimes I feel like I should slap him upside the head. Anyway. I'm jealous of your six days.

The Vagabond said...

Hahaha! Well I'm glad you left this blog entry. I always look forward to them. It's very nice of you even though you definitely don't have to do it.

P.S. PUBLISH A BOOK!! You're awesome. That is all.

VicMorrowsGhost said...

Don't feel glum, collage is coming! Every day it's closer, the awesome cafe, the improve guys, new experiences, new opportunities. The fun is bearing down upon you.

Anonymous said...

I think you and I very similar.

I'm the photo editor of the Yearbook and every time I submit a page, edit someone's terrible grammar or take time out of my day to take pictures of events I feel this sense of hopelessness and I still don't know why I do it.

On another note, I'm sorry you're sad, if I could hug you I would, but have this instead *SQUEEZE!*

Catherine said...

I'm glad you blogged. Even though you didn't want to at first, it still made you feel better, right? Right! Because you love us and we'll never let you down! Well, Hayley, we love you to. So get happy! Because we don't like it when you're sad. So just don't be, okay?

Lor said...

Skinny black ties.

Joanne said...

Everything will be exponentially better once you get out of hell.
Nostalgia? Pshh, you're too good for that.

Erin said...

Thank you for thinking of us and blogging. I really appreciate it, and your writing is beautiful.

Anonymous said...

Don't be a slave to your readers. Blogging should be about you and only you. I hope writing this out helped you a bit anyway. :)

John said...

I am as reliant on your posts as you are on posting them. I think the majority of us our. Its an unhealthy habit but its so worth it!!!

If you need to cut down on blogging we won't come after you :D

Rachel said...

I think I kept refreshing your blog every five minutes last night, to see if there was a new post. I was a little irked, since I need my Hayley fix every day.

But you totally made up for it, with this amazing post. One of your best, might I add.

Stay awesome =)

babyporridge. said...

I take great pleasure in the fact that you are physically unable to go a day without writing a blog. Seriously hayz0r, you have become a favourite addiction.

& while I mightn't always be vocal about this, I'm always lurking in the shadows. Promise. & I hope you feel just a tad violated.

Love yew

Britty said...

I remember feeling EXACTLY like you are feeling right now. I had no love for the general majority of my graduating class, I was even ready to be done with most of my friends too. I'll let you in on a little secret though, while you are succeding in all of your personal endeavors (I'm not sure if I spelled that correctly and this computer doesn't have firefox to correct it for me!) the people that made your life so hellish will be getting pregnant and getting married WAAAAY too quickly and end up working at Wal-Mart you the dream!

I (and I'm sure I speak for all of your readers) am so proud of you! A corny sentiment at best, and sort of wierd coming from someone you don't know, but it's the truth!

A.J. James said...

though I would never want you to feel you have to give us more everyday, I do enjoy each and every update. Maybe for Saturdays update you can listen to Britany's "I'm a slave for you" for further inspiration.
Oh, and if you could ignore the part where a guy my age knows specific Spears' tracks. That would be swell.

kaitlin said...

I'm pretty sure even your blog would be a best selling novel. I was just scrolling down the page and realized even your blog posts flow like a story, not to mention how well written they are.

Are you going to Leakycon or do you have school that day? I'm pretty sure you've said this before but I can't remember.

Claire said...

I feel obligated to blog all the time...and i don't even think anyone ever reads my blog! Your life does not revolve around us deary so don't feel like you need to supply us all with a daily feed on your life if you don't want to. It's a pleasure to read your blog whether it's everyday or once a week :)

Anonymous said...

i can count on one hand the number of people i regularly talk to from high school. and i am perfectly okay with that. once you distance yourself a bit by say, a couple years, maybe from time to time you'll idly wonder how so-and-so is doing, haha remember that time they blah blah? the bitterness of how sucky HS is will fade and all of it will just be mildly amusing.

boyfriendthing? were you being cute or are your feelings still ambiguous? lol @ "marking his territory". rawr.

thank for updating every day. this is quickly becoming another regular stop on the internet highway for me (...?). but don't feel like a slave to us! silly hayley.

Nicholas said...

When school ended, I was a bit sad too. It's not like it's so horrible leaving school, but it's still ending a chapter of your life. Feeling sad to see things go is a normal reaction.

Anonymous said...

Glad you blogged in the end.

Anonymous said...

thanks for blogging, even though u really didn't want to =]

**have a sparkling day**

Nazrine said...

you don't have to blog, but reading it *is* one of the highlights of my day.

Don't worry, you'll be out of the festering cesspool that is high school soon enough, and then you won't have to deal with it ever again.

I find it funny you call him a boyfriendthing. Speaking objectively and sans offence, it doesn't sound as though you're very enthusiastic about him.

Kristina said...

Yeah I clearly have no problem leaving my readers hanging. Ha.

Also, I am CRAVING Chipotle today and dont get a lunch break so watching your burrito count slowly rise isnt helpingggg.

Melody said...

I feel really stupid for this, but I kind of really wish I knew who your ex-boyfriend is. Buuut, as I don't already know, it probably isn't my business and I shouldn't try to find out.

S said...

Wooo this is my first comment on your blog! I've been reading since the beginning of BEDA and I've yet to comment, but since you didn't even want to write this in the first place but did because of us readers, I feel obliged to leave one. I'M A SLAVE TO YOU NOW HALEY.

So about black ties. Immediately upon reading that I nodded my head in agreement. Black ties ARE sexy. But then I began to wonder what exactly you meant by black ties. Did you mean black tie events? did you mean skinny black ties? did you mean fat ones? what about a black bow tie?

Then I realized you probably just meant a regular old black tie and I over think things to much and should probably go write my lab report.

(also, I totally loved the little opening to this blog. It was brilliant)

S said...

Also, I've noticed a lot of people are commenting saying things like:

"aww Hayley. Don't feel obligated to blog. We won't come after you with pitchforks or anything."YES. WE. WILL.

I mean, why do you think I OWN a pitchfork.

tashiana said...

I can't believe I've waited this long to comment! I've been reading every post since u started BEDA lol
I really love your writing Hayley and you are my role model for senior-year. Good luck in college and keep being ur amazing self.

P.S. Thanks for writing even though u didnt want to. haha I really did miss not reading your post yesterday.

P.P.S. Rent makes my world go round :)

Adrienne said...

thanks for the blog, hayley. i'm glad your internet-loving, sleep-deprived-body-hating side won know, the rational side.
but don't feel committed if you don't want to. just know how much we enjoy these :)
DON'T BE SAD! although if you are, here's a perfect song to go with the mood. i mean, it's not sad, but i just always listen to it when i'm sad. it's sweet.
"Breathless," by Better Than Ezra.

A.J. James said...

I don't normally comment twice but I figure since I have not seen an update and it is 1 AM your time, I can say a couple of more things...

A. I second "S" as the reason I own a pitchfork. Though I still haven't found a use for the wedgespoon... (Golf Jokes anybody??? Anybody???)

B. I had Chipotle for lunch today and thought of you twice... the first time because obviously my choice of meal, and secondly The guy inline directly behind me ordered the bowl sans Tortilla.. I turned to him and said "Jesus Man! A few Tortilla Carbs aren't going to forever tip the scales of war between you and your diet. " I then paid and gathered my burrito and chips and proceeded to fill my drink... I'm pretty sure I shocked him...

durtei. said...

haley 1 and haley 2. Whoaw.

Bianca23 said...

You are amazing! That's all ;)

Jess said...

"And I wasn't even really trying to be stupid with it. So."

Yeah right, slut!

Nokorola said...

So you don't like the lame 'bandana tied around the forehead' thing, but how do you feel about the 60s 'fabric strip tied around the neck'* thing?

(* about a minute into this video is the look that I'm referring to )

Anonymous said...

Do you have copy writer for so good articles? If so please give me contacts, because this really rocks! :)