Pages

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Chickpeas and Testicles

"Everyone's daily posts have gone to shit by this point so you can probably get away with whatever you want." -Mike Lombardo, philosopher
Well, it's April 10th, and we've finally reached that point in BEDA where I stare at a flashing cursor and realize I have nothing to say. But I'm not going to complain, because there's nothing worse than that girl who bitches about the fact that strangers laugh at her jokes and care about her lunch.* Instead, I will provide for you (aren't you fortunate?) a list of unrelated thoughts I'm having tonight.
  1. Hummus tastes good but chickpeas do not. This doesn't seem to add up.
  2. This afternoon, I ran four miles in 83-degree heat. People usually laugh when I call myself a badass, but guys-- I'm a badass. I'm basically Lance Armstrong.**
  3. Out of curiosity, I browsed my town's Craigslist tonight. I don't think 50-year-old men in my area have a very good understanding of the term "strictly platonic." I am now experiencing what is commonly referred to as being "skeeved out," and I shall forever be on my guard when I pass adult men in the grocery store.
  4. I have a ton of homework due this week, but I don't have to turn most of it in until Tuesday or Wednesday. Naturally, I've chosen to start it all tomorrow night.
  5. This afternoon's sunshine was heavenly. The ghostly lines on my legs where my shorts stopped? Less heavenly, but at least hilarious.
Now wasn't that fun? And educational! On that note, I'm gonna go shower my nasty self. Hopefully I'll have something more interesting to share in tomorrow's post... and hopefully, tomorrow, I won't be sweaty and disgusting. Do me a favor and have lovely night. A demain!


Chipotle burritos this year: 5
Subscribers: 48,468
Nail color: "Samoan Sand," OPI
Miles run today: 4

*This sentence is an example of a literary device called "hyperbole." Some examples of things worse than my complaining about having to write a blog: war, torture, genocide, poverty, starvation, inescapable caste systems, disease, grief, loneliness, loss of limb, explaining the definition of "hyperbole" to people old enough to read internet blogs.
**I, too, am missing a testicle.***
***Two of them.

26 comments:

Kirsty said...

This made me smile, and that was something I really needed to do because I also am a homework procrastinator and decided to do it all Sunday night. Thank you Hayley! And good job running in this heat! (I can't imagine running four miles at all)

Jill S. said...

footnote within a footnote ftw!

Kristina M. said...

The weather was sunshiney and lovely here in Kansas too. So I went home for the weekend and helped my dad plant a vegetable garden. So nice to get away from campus for the weekend. You will prevail through your dairy free month. :) Your blog readers have faith(and most of us probably know what a hyperbole is).

Kenzly said...

but what did you eat?!

Paige said...

You think you are a procrastinator...I have 50 science words to define - they are due tomorrow and I haven't even started. *Pulls hair out* But ANYWAY. I just now learned what hyperbole is, after I promptly went to dictionary.com to find out what it was. (hey, DON'T JUDGE ME)

Tara said...

I was going to say how you made me laugh but you already know you make us readers laugh on a daily basis :)

I loved the weather yesterday but today I could not enjoy it because I have been studying for exams. Any tips?

alyson said...

Number 4 makes me feel a lot better about me doing the same thing. Glad to know I'm not the only one.
For a second I thought you were going to do a bullet list, and then you went with numbers. Things are getting crazy around here!

CeliaAnn said...

Oh yes, the 'ghostly lines' where your shorts stopped must be horrible. Imagine having skin that never tanned, only burned, and then faded back to it's perpetual, traceable-vein showing paleness. How hilarious! (Of course, i'm joking. I'm only jealous of the ability to tan at all.)

ifimjuliet said...

Yes!!! I have so much homework to do, but since I don't have any classes until Wednesday, I have yet to start...any of it. But now, at least I know I'm not alone in this procrastination!

Anonymous said...

did you forget about presence?

Christina said...

Running anything over a mile at all is pretty badass in my opinion! (Not much of a natural runner here, I'm all about the elliptical.) It was over 80 degrees here too today and it was wonderful. Hopefully the weather is here to stay now- the cold, sunless weather was getting to be thoroughly depressing.

And I agree with the other people who who said "what did you eat today??"

Phyllis said...

demand*

Anonymous said...

One last post was about your vagina.This one was talking about testicles.
Hum ...
I would not be surprised if a next post is about both at the same time.

I liked the "à demain" I think it was cute.

Sidsel said...

If you need something to talk about, you could always talk about books. Or movies. For instance, have you seen Before Sunrise and Before Sunset? I have now seen them three times each in the last four days. This is a very random comment, but it just goes to show how obsessed I am. I have no new thoughts about them, thought all their is to think about them in my head, so I ask others to share theirs. Anyway, it's just a suggestion.

Sidsel said...

*Gasp! There! THERE! Oh my... close one.

Ginny said...

lol, now i don't feel like i was the only one with nothing to say :)

Rollinby said...

Hummus has LOADS of Olive oil!!!! Thats why it's YUMYUM

Johnny Rollerfeet said...

If you get to judge adult men by the posts on Craigslist, I get to judge young women based on Jersey Shore.

Anonymous said...

Btw you are so adorable and cute I would love to bring you fondue (and be the first one to do so!)... but I have wonderful girlfriend and I know she wants to get fondue from me first. ;)

Anonymous said...

Today, I had hummus and as I was eating it, all I could think about was testicles.

Rebecca Rahi said...

Hayley, what happened to Presence?

Manar said...

But Hayley...WHAT DID YOU EAT? Was it difficult avoiding dairy? These are questions that we must know the answers too. D:

Also, I love chickpeas. And hummus. And you.

kobe lebron said...

know I love you. NIKE Jerseys Official,Cheap NIKE Jerseys Official,NIKE Jerseys Official,NIKE Jerseys Official,NIKE Jerseys Official,Cheap NIKE Jerseys Official,Cheap NIKE Jerseys Official,Cheap NIKE Jerseys Official,your best chooice. thanks. NIKE Jerseys Official,NIKE Jerseys Official,NIKE Jerseys Official,Cheap NIKE Jerseys Official,NIKE Jerseys Official,NIKE Jerseys Official,Cheap NIKE Jerseys Official,Cheap NIKE Jerseys Official,Cheap NIKE Jerseys Official,NIKE Jerseys Official,NIKE Jerseys Official,NIKE Jerseys Official,NIKE Jerseys Official,NIKE Jerseys Official,NIKE Jerseys Official,NIKE Jerseys Official,NIKE Jerseys Official,NIKE Jerseys Official,Cheap NIKE Jerseys Official

lucyanthony said...

Really good article.
cheap nfl jerseys.
cheap nfl nike jerseys.

jerseysok said...

Great article, I think you covered everything there. . .cheap jerseys I would say freelancing is quitecheap jerseyhard especially if you are not used to working on your own, can be quite hard to motivate yourself nike nfl jerseysalso. . . we all know what it is like to stare at the monitor.

Anonymous said...

Stunning story there. What happened after? Take care!
Consider A lot more Dialogue for the http:
//iamaguardian.com/groups/components-with-regard-to-cheap-jersey/ Discussion board Also consider site

Feel free to visit my website ... jersey shop