Sunday, August 2, 2009

Rocky Horror

I don't know why it took me eighteen years to finally go see a midnight showing of The Rocky Horror Picture Show, but tonight's event will not be the last of its kind. I dressed up as Magenta-- fishnet stockings, high boots, excessive makeup and all. I went with the friend I talked about the other day and this other girl, Alyssa. We were fairly casual friends before, from a shared gym class, West Side Story and Into the Woods, but after driving around harmonizing to the Anastasia soundtrack, falling into fits of giggles, and making each other up like freaks, I think I'll be seeing a lot more of her. Haha. Oh, hold on; I seriously need to wash some of this gunk off my face.

Okay, I'm back. As a disclaimer of sorts, I must mention that it's 5:10 AM-- not like getting up early, but like never going to bed-- and no one should be expected to make any sense at an hour like this one. For example, I'm lying the wrong way on my bed, with my feet at the headboard and my pillow at the end, just to be a jackass. My stomach is daring to growl when I fed it excessively all day. My eyelids are daring to retain bits of the eyeliner in which I earlier smothered them, even after various attempts with cotton balls and makeup remover. My feet are still complaining from tonight's stiletto trek, but I'm sort of on their side this time; I'd rebel, too. The blister on my left baby toe is forgivable, after all I put those guys through this evening.

It just occurred to me that you, blog readers, are equally as important as my left baby toe, and if it deserves a massage and a Band-Aid, you guys deserve something interesting to read. Keep in mind that, just as I can't cure a blister, I can't promise you'll care about any of this stuff. But you're here, so I'll try.

I spent the morning at my sister's inlaws' house again, gleefully bobbing around the above-ground pool with my twelve-year-old cousin, two sisters, and one of my sisters' friends. I drank delicious beverages, scarfed about six slices of cheese pizza, obnoxiously changed the lyrics of pop songs to include my company's names, and read a bit of The Spell Book of Listen Taylor. So far, it's really different from Jaclyn Moriarty's other novels. I'm not yet sure who the main character is, if one exists, and it has a little girl named Cassie, who outrageously appears (unless it's some twisted backstory I haven't yet learned) to not be Cassie Aganovic. But despite adjusting to a JM book that has--gasp!-- a real, third-person narrative, in twenty pages, it's already quirky, funny, and poignant. I'm so excited.

Shortly after returning home from the pool, I stopped by the town's other sex shop (on quite the roll this week!) for thigh-high fishnet hose for my Rocky Horror costume. "Tonight's the night/ let's live it up," I sang to myself while driving, in the style of my favorite new song, the Black Eyed Peas' "I Gotta Feeling." As soon as the syllables left my lips, that song started on the radio. A pleasant omen. I smiled when I got out of the car, and kept the song running through my mind as I handed over my debit card. "Tonight's gonna be a good, good night," Fergie sang in my head. And she was right.


It's 4:20 in the afternoon now. I finally got to sleep at about six, with my hair still teased to the point of being perpendicular. In fact, there's something about waking up after McDonald's closes its breakfast menu that makes showers seem like less of a pressing need. Yes. It's dinner time, and I'm in pajamas with my hair curled and crimped into a rat's nest. Judge me.

Anyway, last night was amazing. I'm finally starting to close in on my new year's resolution to learn how to have fun. And before you start, I mean real fun. Not, like, clever-skype-call fun, or reading-PostSecret-alone-at-the-library fun. I'm talking waiting-in-line-with-scantily-clad-young-people-for-a-movie-I-have-at-home fun. Getting-waggled-eyebrows-and-a-hand-flap-wave-from-a-transvestite fun. While my family thinks I'm careless and lazy (because my parents are so uptight they make Hillary Clinton look like a pothead), I'm really sort of a nervous person, so I know I'm making progress when driving somewhere new in the middle of the night is laid-back and pleasant. I laughed so hard I could feel it in my feet when the Rocky Horror enthusiast down the aisle shouted out every single audience participation line. I followed tradition and put a Plain Dealer over my head to block squirt gun blows. I knew which word to shout after "Brad Majors" and when to chuck my rice. I'm still beaming just from thinking about it.

All right, I just finished off the brinner my sister made me, so I think it's time to finish off my Carrot Top hairdo. I shall now proceed to shower and hopefully slip back into the state of mind in which I can blog again in a manner that makes sense.

Sexy: This hilarious Lizzie McGuire fanfiction written by my friend Leah (professorspork) when she was thirteen. She's an astoundingly talented writer nowadays, so I'm grateful to the internet for preserving fossils of when she didn't know how to punctuate within quotation marks... and when she thought Shakespeare was Old English.
Unsexy: Alyssa and I in this photo from last night.

Chipotle burritos this year: 25
S'mores this summer: 6
Subscribers: 18,859

Bye, guys! Hopefully I'll see you tomorrow. <3


Anonymous said...

Just a heads up - the ad at the side of your blog is for Panic?

A.J. James said...

Wow you just reminded me that it has been more than ten years since I last attended a live viewing of Rocky Horror... this must be remedied... I'm glad you are learning to have fun....

CeliaAnn said...

I have yet to ever go to a live viewing of Rocky Horror... :( I'm not sure why, though, seeing as the community theatre I go to has it every October. But that's it. This year's the year. I know other people who have, and it definitely sounds awesome :]

Lindsey said...

I got support tights :). Oh in the ads obviously. I'm not wearing support tights. That would be weird.

Brad said...

I'll be echoing A.J.'s comment, it's been a long time since I've been to Rocky Horror. Good times. Your Magenta outfit is great. :)

Leah said...

I hate you so much.

seasofgreen said...

I'm so glad you got to experience the wonder that is Rocky Horror live! Did you see the show or the picture show? Both are fabulous. And I'm sure that now you can understand when I say, "You haven't seen Rocky until you've seen it live"

Zombie said...

Rocky Horror Picture Show scared me as a little kid. I always thought the mouth at the beginning was going to start laughing crazily and bite me. Anyway, I am loving the curls!

Shelby Rebekah said...

We're as important as your left baby toe...gee thanks, Hayley.

Maya said...

Leah's story is hilarious. Thanks for linking to that; it made my night. XD

seurat2 said...

Hayley G Hoover, continuing to demonstrate to all the meaning of awesome.

Marlena said...

RHPS. <3
Leah's fanfic. <3
Your blog in general. <3
Your face. <3
The fact that I'm seeing your face in less than two weeks. <3

Janelle said...

HAYLEY. I just watched "Can't buy me love" after i saw it on your list of favourite chick flicks and I have to say thank you cause I really loved it! Thanks =D Glad you had an amazing time at the Rocky Horror Picture Show!

Johnny Rollerfeet said...

between my junior and senior years of high school i saw RHPS at least 20 times. i crossed the count of 70 at home with the international version a few years ago which includes my now favorite song, Superheroes. that summer I made friends with my first openly gay friend and saw my first drag show. i haven't seen it again in years, but hearing you got "your cherry popped" (as they say in RHPS parlance) makes me want to see it more.

Rosi, your neighbourhood creep said...

photo = sexy, not unsexy

JULIA said...

hahaha i love you.
SOMEHOW found 5 awesome girls on youtube, and thought it was spectack, and had to check out your blog. and it was great :)

Meagan Davis said...

There is currently an obscene Trojan ad under your wondrous blog post and it made me laugh.

Krislynn said...

wow sounds like you had an awesome night! there better be some video evidence of this night of debauchery lol. I've never been a huge fan of rocky horror, but that sounds like it would be a lot of fun to go to.

kira902k said...

after reading this, i spent an hour looking up RHPS showing in my city,and reading about exactly what to do and say during the show.
I am now very very excited to go to the showing on Oct 31st. Also kind of terrified.


Anonymous said...

That's pretty much what my hair looks like if it gets within three feet of a brush.

...yeah. I don't brush my hair much. Like, every two years.

traderbob11 said...

when you mentioned your left baby toe getting a massage I started reading on my own and thought you were going to offer up a massage to us.
I hate it when that happens! :)

Natasha said...

One day I too dream of having fun that isn't reading fanfiction, watching youtube or reading your blog, Hayley. I admire your courage to step into the real world <3

Anonymous said...

I love it. <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

I swear the fact that I'm as important as your left baby toe made me flail! <3

Plus, I giggled at the fact that Leah's pen name was Professor Spock!! As in Star Trek Spock??

Robynne said...

That song has been following me everywhere.

I love it. :)

Callan said...

i had a pretty shit day, and just before turning in i thought i would check to see if you had a new blog post, and you do! so thanks for making my night just a bit better!

also, i NEED that butterfly smock thing. its amazing. and "i gotta feeling" is MY favorite song right now too. such a good summer song.

VTBurninator said...

hahaha awesome! I remember my first Rocky Horror midnight party...they gave first timers a certificate of de-virgin-ization! You looked fab as usual!

And I'm happy to hear you are learning to have fun...I'm the spawn of two very uptight people and feel the same way all of the spontaneous gf totally helps me balance and live life (as much as it goes against my nature).

Ah the joys of fanfiction. Can only imagine a little Leah on her computer typing away.

labyrinthalaska said...

Just wanted to start by saying that I love both West Side Story and Into the Woods. I was in WestSide at my school, and I saw a friend perform the other, so hence I bought the soundtrack to it about a week after.

And I used to sleep every night with feet at the headboard and pillow at the end of my bed. No idea why, but that was a quirk of mine.

Glad to hear you had fun at the Rocky Horror performance. And don't worry. Most of your post made sense.

John said...

Hayley I just had the joy of catching up on the last week of blog posts in work. The looks I got for having a goofy smile on my face in work was so worth it.

I wish we had live showings of RHPS in Ireland but we don't but the way you talked about learning how to have fun is so true for me aswell and I just love how you can relate to all your readers

Miia said...

I know what you mean by that 'really having fun' stuff... I should totally try that sometime

Sarah said...

RHPS sounds like it was awesome. I'm still not very good at having "real fun" - good for you for trying to figure it out.

I felt the same when first reading Spell Book - for the first 50 or so pages, I was thinking, "What is this about? WHO is this about? What's going on?" It all becomes clearer ... but the ambiguity is so much a part of its charm. :) (Sorry that I keep talking about this book; no one I know reads Jaclyn Moriarty so I never get a chance to discuss!)

Nokorola said...


eibbore said...

YES! RHPS, the midnight showings are just too much fun! I wonder if you had any pre-show activity? At my first we had to go up in front of the hundreds of people in the NYC theatre and fake an orgasm. Ah the memories. Glad you had a great time. DFTBA <3

alyssa said...

haha hayley i agree that that picture is very unflattering.. but the other one we took was good lol!

Anonymous said...

[b]nero 9 uninstaller, [url=]trading software for sale[/url]
[url=]alphabetical order software[/url] selling education software buy cheap coreldraw graphics suite x4 at low price
best price adobe photoshop cs4 upgrade [url=]adobe creative suite 3 design premium[/url] windows xp update
[url=]student discount for microsoft office[/url] buying software licenses
[url=]cheap software on[/url] recommended educational software
discount educational software net [url=]power policies windows xp registry[/url][/b]

Anonymous said...

I love! Here I always find a lot of helpful information for myself. Thanks you for your work.
Webmaster of and
Best regards

ceshi said...

Barcelona Transfers: Why Wayne Rooney Would Not Work at Camp Nou | Bleacher Report
Football fans were somewhat shocked a few weeks ago when rumors began swirling about Wayne Rooney’s desire to trade in his Manchester United shirt for a Blaugrana one. Though some fans have begun to think about the possibility of the English star joining the Catalan side, it should be stated that the move simply would not work. Not only would the move be bad for Rooney, but the player would not fit in with Barcelona’s system. Ever since moving to the center of attack, Lionel Messi has been untouchable
Dallas Cowboys jerseys. For Barcelona to get the best out of a player like Rooney, Messi would have to be moved out wide for the Englishman to set up shop as the center forward. Messi has actually stated that he would like to see Rooney make the move to the Catalan club, but this statement was certainly more publicity than actual wishing (via ESPN). Everyone knows that there is no changing Messi’s current position. If Rooney were brought to Barcelona, he would then be forced to convert to a makeshift winger. Though this actually turned out well for David Villa, fans should not think that Rooney would take to the change so easily. Manchester United’s No. 10 has staked his career on being a very centrally focused player.Rooney has all the qualities of a traditional striker and even the ability to create chances for others. But he lacks very important traits that are necessary in wingers, especially wingers used by Barcelona. To begin with, Rooney would need to be able to use speed and dribbling while pushed out wide to create the best chances of scoring
Green Bay Packers jerseys. The Englishman has never looked strong when secluded from the center of the pitch, and defenses could take him completely out of the game if on the wing. Rooney would also be expected to track back in defense and help out Barcelona’s roaming wing-backs. Rooney may be an above-average defender compared to most strikers, but being pushed out wide would certainly make things more difficult for him. But the biggest reason why Rooney would just not work at the Camp Nou is because of his playing style.Would Wayne Rooney Actually Succeed at Barcelona?Would Wayne Rooney Actually Succeed at Barcelona NFL shirts?Yes34.1%No65.9%Total votes: 563The striker is very much an English player. His technical ability is not at the same level of the current Barcelona squad, and there has not been much in his career that would lead fans to think that he could actually hold his own in the tiki-taka style of play. Cesc Fabregas has found transitioning to the Barcelona attack difficult, which shows that it could be nearly impossible for Rooney. So in closing, joining Barcelona may only ever be a dream for Wayne Rooney
San Francisco 49ers jerseys. There is simply no place for the striker in the Blaugrana side, and making room for him would severely limit the talent he would bring. Some moves look wonderful on paper. No doubt Rooney is a top-class attacker, but he has no place at Barcelona and the club was wise to quickly play down any links to the striker (via SkySports). Who should Barcelona target this summer? Could Rooney actually work at Barcelona if he got his dream move? Don’t forget to leave your thoughts and comments below. Tre’ Atkinson
Baltimore Ravens jerseys. Follow me on Twitter for more discussions on Barcelona and La Liga.Follow @TreAtkinson