Sunday, August 9, 2009

Medieval Pickles

I flopped out of bed this morning at 7:00AM, after having not been able to sleep more than two hours, to go with friends to a medieval faire. We met at Kathleen's house, her mother made me unsolicited buttered toast out of the kindness of her heart, I jumped wildly into Graham's arms (my good friend who recently moved to New York with his fiance, Sarah), and we proceeded to drive an hour and a half to be the nerds that we are, but freely, and in public. The bride- and groom-to-be decked themselves out in full-on period dress, my friends Chris and Jack wore peasant outfits, and my friend Brad wore a Dumbledore beard for reasons of which I'm unsure. Kathleen strutted around with a long black cloak over her tank top and pants, Sebastian gave up trying and just wore normal clothes, and I wore a normal dress with unnecessarily insulating tights, because tights are medieval. I was disappointed in myself for not finding a better costume, but we were one of the only groups there that had even attempted. Next time, though, I'll blow 'em out of the dirty well water.

The heat was nearly unbearable all day long, and even under the shade of the woods, it felt like the sun was on a personal mission out to kill us. My hair expanded to twice its normal volume from the humidity, a layer of sweat covered the back of my neck so that I felt like an unshaven alpaca in the summertime, and I dehydrated myself by refusing to pay four dollars for water. Also, my entire party seemed to be deeply tired, so we dragged a little bit and spent more time sitting on benches under the trees than we would have liked, considering the money we spent. 

Other than that, though, I had a legitimately good time. Sarah and I got the chance to gossip and hug and crack unfunny and uncomfortable Christian Girl Jokes. Kathleen reached that point of exhaustion where everything seems a lot funnier than it is, and she entertained me by speaking in a faux English Renaissance accent and blubbering nonsense all afternoon. We went off alone at one point and spent forever looking at a display of beautiful hand-crafted wooden mugs, and while I contemplated forking over the money for one (I didn't, and I sort of regret it), Kathleen continuously raised chalices and goblets in my face. "Aye, m'lady," she chanted several different times. "Have some mead! Huzzah!"

It was a fascinating and pretty place full of fascinating and strange people, like myself and my friends. A band of mandolins and lutes and other olde timey instruments played Led Zepplin covers (according to Sebastian and my friend Jake, seeing as I wouldn't know a mandolin Led Zepplin song if it beat me over the head). I ate two of the world's most delicious and huge pickles, which were wrapped in foil, and therefore both mobile and awesome. I looked over the countless jewelry stands a million times, but couldn't decide on anything. I wish I'd bought the necklace with a crystal ball charm that looked like a Prophecy. Maybe next year. Oh, and I received messages when I got home from youtube subscribers Maddie, Lisa, and Ashleigh, all of whom recognized me, but none of whom said anything! If you're reading this, girls, thanks for the messages. Next time come say hi, and I'll give you a bite of my pickle.

Anyway, it's eleven thirty, and I'm way tired. I have to wake up at six tomorrow morning for my college orientation, for which I'm equal parts excited and reluctant. I'll probably feel weirdly nervous when I get there, and they'll probably make me play get-ta-know-ya games. I'm taking my laptop with me, so maybe I'll be able to blog later tomorrow night.

Sexy: Pirates! Maybe this is a stereotype I've created based on Johnny Depp, but somehow even balding old men dressed as pirates at Medieval Faire get a second glance from my direction.
Unsexy: Lack of sleep. Leave me alone, reader! I need my rest!

Chipotle burritos this year: 26
S'mores this summer: 6
Giant pickles today: 2
Subscribers: 19,147

Bye, guys! Hopefully I'll see you tomorrow. <3


Barbara said...

I was honestly nervous because I thought that you weren't going to make it on time. And Hayley not blogging every day is a crisis. And then I remembered that I live in a different time zone, so I guess the East Coast is a little ahead.

And I'm glad you had fun. It seemed like an enjoyable time despite the heat and exhaustion.

And I hate to correct you, but it's Led Zeppelin. You missed the "e".

wardsaulyers said...

The ad next to your blog today is for Scientology hahaha. Their advertising leaves something to be desired, since literally all it says is "" with blue space above and below.

I'm going to community college, so thankfully my orientation was only a couple hours. But I've heard hilarious stories from friends who are going to real colleges who had to participate in team building skits and whatnot. Let us know how all that goes.

(And yes, I don't consider community college real college, on account of how in their freshman student handbook jawn, on a page talking about some laws, they cited wikipedia as a source.)

Emily said...

I really wish the Medieval Faire in my area was that cool. Honestly, it's a bunch of people with questionable motives in varying states of cleanliness, dressed in full-on gothic attire, walking around in the dirt. Not very thrilling. :/ I have heard the one near my friends in North Carolina is good there, so I might go visit them in the fall and go to theirs. :]

Sara said...

This has absolutely nothing to do with Medieval Faires (as cool as they are), but I just thought that you should be aware of A Very Potter Musical on YouTube, which is probably one of the greatest things I have ever laid eyes and ears on. If you have already watched this wonderous Harry Potter themed musical made by college students, I apologize, but in the off-chance that you haven't, you really, really should. It's amazing and ridiculously hilarious. Linkage:

partyweetow said...

The Renaissance Fair has pickles on a stick. ^_^

partyweetow said...

Also, the ad at the bottom of your page is currently for Trojan condoms. xD

Kat said...

God, just thinking about college orientation makes me nervous. And mine was over a year ago.

If you do end up having a really awkward and not-that-spectacular time, don't despair. That's kind of how summer orientation's set up, and it won't set the tone for your first year at school. And if you somehow push past the awkwardness and have an awesome time... you have mad skillz and I'm jealous.

(Also, I just looked up OU's academic calendar and you guys run on the weirdest version of the quarter system I'm ever seen. But I guess almost all my friends on quarter go to UC's...)

The Vagabond said...

Hayley, I can't even begin to express to you how much enjoyment I get out of reading your blog every day. As a fellow algebra hater, you will probably appreciate the fact that you have saved me at least a few minutes of boredom every day in my college algebra summer school class and also at my horrible job.

... and now I must return to the horribly long packet of algebra problems awaiting me and keeping me from sleep. :-(

Thanks for being so interesting and awesome! :-)

VicMorrowsGhost said...

Hearty Greetings!

To hear tales of your merry band's revelry doth lighten my mood. Pray tell fair maiden, did thou truly spy merchant's requesting four gold coins for a refreshing draught? Rapscallions!

For sooth pickles of ye olden times are said to be rapturous.

Verily, I must sally fourth and so alas, I must bid you adieu.

Fair they well hearty strumpet.

Marlena said...

Good luck at orientation, love. I hope you meet someone whose ass musculature complements yours, indicating a future bff.

Natasha said...

Your blogs are always outrageously entertaining. Thanks. :]

Christina Celeste. said...

That medieval festival sounds pretty freaking awesome. I've always wanted to go, but I literally have no friends nerdy enough. But either way, reading a blog post about it on a webpage advertising Scientology AND condoms at the SAME TIME was just as enthralling.

Ever told you you're my hero?

Well, besides the pickles. We can call it a tie.


Rebecca said...

I agree with Sara. Though terribly off topic, A Very Potter Musical is amazingly epic. You NEED to see it if you haven't already.

Margaret said...

I had my college orientation a couple weeks ago! It was a blast and a half. I didn't know anyone, but I met a lot of people and made some friends. Plus I signed up for a Lit Comp class, so WOO-EE! (That sounded sarcastic. Sometimes I wish it was.)

Wyatthaplo said...

I've been reading your blog for a few weeks now and im impressed at your ability to write interesting blogs each day.

I find im more interested in peoples blogs then their videos these days.
For people i have seen videos for anyway and know who they are. I can picture you in the scenes you describe above :)

You're the only 5AG i haven't met yet.

Laura said...

Well, I agree with Sara and Rebecca. I've been waiting for you to comment on it actually. I've been away from the internet for awhile so I dunno if you already mentioned it in some video or on here, but please let us know what you think. If you haven't seen it already then you must! I heart musicals like no other and it made me so happy. I've been trying to get my friends to watch it for days, and I keep using it as a means to procrastinate. I even watched StarKidPotter's a Little White Lie series. It was fantastic, too.

And I hope you get to blog tomorrow, because I think hearing about your experience will be interesting. I attended my orientation in early July. Just to let you know: I'm going to UF. I had to stay overnight, because for ours it's mandatory. Anyway, that meant I had to find a roommate or just be paired off randomly. The latter is what ended up happening. My roommate was really nice but we didn't talk a lot at first. She was reading a book before we went to sleep, and I wanted to ask her what it was, but at the same time it would mean breaking this very long, semi-comfortable silence... I finally worked up the courage to do it, and it turned out she had been rereading the 6th book! We talked about Harry Potter for at least an hour or so after that. I was a major nerd and spazzed out but she acted super nice and nonjudgmental. (I was wearing my Moaning Myrtles shirt at the time.) Then we talked about Twilight, which she didn't really hate as much as I do, so that was slightly disappointing. All in all, it was a good conversation. The whole event wasn't that bad and that's saying something because I'm an INFJ (I took the quiz, it was accurate for me).

Right, so sorry about this rambling. Hope you have a great time tomorrow.

W. Murdock said...

I don't think you have any idea how hilarious it would be if you do have GTKY games that include the birthday month match up and bonding booties. I also feel it necessary to admit that I am a male, and yet these books are really great. I actually was the one to get my female best friend to read them, and you get the credit (I'm currently blazing through the second one with the third waiting next to my bed.) I don't want to seem out of line by saying this, but you have writing skills like Megan McCafferty does, you have a great wit while still being intelligent and it makes your blog a delight to read and also makes your novel an exciting prospect.

MmM CyNtHiA, OpInAnDo said...

Today is my first Universitary day and I cant sleep. Its 4:48. Am and im SO nervous! :S

Fae said...

I hope your college experience was better than my own!

Anonymous said...

Wow! My college orientation isn't till thee 27th. Which is good, as I am currently visiting friends in New Jersey, and my school is in Washington State. ;)

Katie said...

I love your analogies. I love them Molly Weasley loves her children. Annnd I'll leave the analogy-making to you.

Pirates are super sexy, there is no argument otherwise.

Leslie said...

I had my orientation today too...not as big though, as it was for high school freshman. Apparently we need to buckle down because we'll be out in the "real world" soon. Grr

Jordiekins said...

Have you ever been to Disneyland? The have the BEST mobile pickles in the world.

shakethedust said...

Haven't commented in a while, but I have been reading! Glad you had fun at the fair. I keep meaning to go the ones down here in Texas, but it never works out. It's a shame because I actually have Medieval and Renaissance dresses I could wear! They're my back-up Halloween costumes. I'd probably be miserable in the heat, though.

I hope your college orientation went well. I remember mine being boring, that's about it.

89ravenclaw said...

we are the pirates who don't do anything, we just sit and lie around, and if you ask us to do anything, we'll just tell you that we don't do anything

Blánaid said...

Hayley, if you have not seen this yet I thought you might be interested :)
She's pretty, and Hank is all adorable and young(er)
Also, because people wonder, my name is pronounced Blonned. And yes, it is my real name. It's Irish.

Sam said...

Ren Faires are always my favorite thing to go to in October. Of course poor planning often results in my family rushing to make the last weekend, which is always the wetest muddiest sludge fest. But that's ok when there are pickles involved. My first time going we were walking along when a man in full medieval garb walked up shouting "Pickles on a stick, Pickles for sale. Vampire sale! Buy one get a free stake." We were hooked. My 45 year old father took to skip/running down the hill screaming, "I wanna pickle. pickle pickle pickle." He paid and the man gave him a skewer and said, "Stab the one you love." He turned and fake stabbed me. Thanks Haley for reminding me of great days like this and being an amazing writer.

Jackie said...

That's a pretty cool festival you got to attend. I always love the Ann Arbor Art fair every July. (although that's probs not as cool as what you went to!)

Good luck at your orientation! And if you don't know what else to do and it's all awkward, just start talking the same way your friend Kathleen did. All those college kids will for sure remember you, at least.

SlytherinSweetie said...

Sounds like you had TONS of fun. ^^
I, sadly, have never been to a Medieval Faire. I, being the nerd I am, desperately need to find one near where I live. I wanna pickle. =[

Anyway, looking forward to the next blog. Ciao!


P.S. The ad on your page was for something shiny. Not sure what, as I didn't really get a good look.

shecaptain said...

Would it be too creepy to say I love you because you find Pirates sexy?

I love medieval fairs! I have been going to a Renaissance Fair near (3 hour drive) where I live and it's something I look forward to every fall. I won't be able to go this year because I will be traveling abroad. Anyhow, ren fairs are some of my most cherished memories...even if I was made fun of for going, when people found out about it.

Cait said...

I was equally disappointed and relieved when I didn't encounter any get-ta-know-ya games at my college orientation last year a la SPECIAL. While there were some Tami-isms thrown around, there were, thankfully, no leotards involved.