Sunday, August 30, 2009

Things I Hit Today

Jess keeps this hilarious, self-explanatory blog entitled "Things I Ate Today." So, to honor my best friend, this entry will be called, for a plethora of reasons, "Things I Hit Today." Today, I hit:

--On whataboutadam. I attended his live show this afternoon, during which he sang a rousing version of "Boom Boom Pow," looked freaking gorgeous, and fanned the fire of my passion by repeatedly calling me a "wee dote," which in Northern Ireland, apparently means I'm cute. He also begged to be the "sexy" item in my blog, so, like, here.*

--A metal road sign. There's this stupid crossing guard sign that sits in the middle of a busy street in my city, and I've always thought it was inches away from causing damage to somebody's car. Well, as I had to swerve away from a minivan that edged into my lane this afternoon, the damage finally occurred. A large chunk of the thick plastic that surrounds my driver's side mirror is now MIA, probably popping someone's tire.

--My face with my palm. Sometimes the creeper comments I receive on videos outright stun me. And they always happen to appear in slews! Today, I was asked for my underwear, to film amateur porn, and on a date in California. Don't think I can make it, man.

--The shopping mall jackpot. I bought a cute blue dress on sale, a t-shirt with Dan Radcliffe's face on it and "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince" written across the bottom, a highlighter yellow cardigan, and earrings and a long necklace, both of which are made of different shades of little fake purple stones. I found the perfect brown Hermione boots, but I don't quite have the disposable income to justify them, and my mom's given me enough presents lately. Ah, well.

--Nearly 20,000 subscribers! So close.

--On a corny hook for this blog post, so it looks like I put in some thought when, in reality, I have nothing entertaining to say. I went to church, cleaned the family business building, had lunch with my family, had dinner with my extended family, and showed my angry/frustrated parents how to use the DVD player as if it hasn't been there for the past five years... like every Sunday. I also had an uncomfortable almost-argument with a friend, leaving me in a bit of an edgy mood. It's okay, though, because I ate two pieces of homemade strawberry pie tonight, and I think moodiness can be suffocated by the ingestion of heaps of junk food.

Sexy: *Whataboutadam, obviously. His twisted pinky fingers twist at my heartstrings. I see images of him dancing in my eyes whenever I see my reflection in the murr. He's the dopest dote to ever combine my middle initial and last name into one word.
Unsexy: Considering making terribly destructive decisions despite knowing better and having positive influences in your life reminding you not to.

Chipotle burritos this year: 28
Subscribers: 19,929

Bye, guys! Hopefully I'll see you tomorrow. <3


Robyn said...

My parents just recently learned that if you press the tv/video button after inserting a DVD and pressing play, things work much better. They can actually, like, watch a movie by themselves now :)

Casey said...

I know that there are many more relevant questions I could ask right now, but did your yellow cardigan happen to come from Old Navy?

Mary said...

i'm really jealous you got to meet whataboutadam. he's my favorite.

Catherine said...

Don't worry, my mum has difficulting turning on the tv.
Our set top box confuses her.

to_thine_own_self said...

Sorry about your car.
But getting a new dress makes things a little bit better, right?
Gah, I love dresses. XD

The Impassible said...

Asked about your underwear? o.O wow

Margaret said...

Creeper comments are the best! The only problem is that I'm always tempted to be creepy back (because apparently that is my defense mechanism- try to creep out the creeps) but it doesn't work because creeps don't usually understand sarcasm. Especially online creeps and ESPECIALLY ones asking for amateur porn.

kira902k said...

Don't make those terrible decisions hayley! Unless you want to, that is.

Because of you I have now subscribed and fallen in love with whataboutadam. -headpalm- carefully! Muaha.


Tom said...

Hahaha me and my friend used to always say DD in reference to secret things, which meant "destructive descisions," since the student groups against students doing bad things always used those words. I don't know if that sentence made any sense.

Brad said...

lulz. Molly made a video ages ago about a guy that was quite serious and persistent about selling her underwear online and splitting the profit. I'd link to it, but I'm too lazy.

Rebecca Mcgrane said...

I love how you said "murr" instead of "mirror", I'm from Ireland, and I had an English teacher from northern Ireland in fourth year, we did a poem about a "murr", funniest three days of my life.

Anonymous said...

Dear Hayley,

I'm not even going to lie to you. I didn't check your blog for two days after I sent you my first anonymous dear abby-esque letter. Mostly because I felt like an idiot (and I still kind of do...but that's life, right?). Nothing ever happened with the stalkee. I forgot his name and now he is just a blur (albeit a lovely blur). But I guess that's just being a teenager. Also, I moved away from the city that we both resided in at that time. So now I facebook stalk boys who no long resemble Mr. John Green (I swear that was probably a once in a lifetime occurance... because what are the odds that I am going to encounter another teenage boy who looks like him?). Actually, now I can't facebook at all because I am unable to access my account. It's almost as though the website put a restraining order on me. But unfortunately nothing came of that chance encounter. Thank you for the advice and taking the time to help a sketchy reader like myself!

the fb stalker.

p.s. I just realized that I used parenthesis three times in that little letter/note. I know it's random but I thought it was worth mentioning.

Robernay said...

I used to say "murr" but then one Christmas I asked my mom, "Why did the wise men bring baby Jesus a murr? OS he could see himself?" They made me say Mirror over and over. Congratulations on the Half Blood Prince shirt Hayley.

Ravenclaw2313 said...

Don't be unsexy! Also please send strawberry pie. It's my favorite and nothing is too good for the loyal readers right?

Adrienne said...

i hope i don't creep you out. im not asking for your underwear, at least.

Sara said...

Like you I head off to college soon (actually tomorrow) and I am FREAKING OUT! How are you doing? Your blog makes me smile. Thank you.

Pippa said...

I don't know what my parents are doing with themselves without any of their 4 children living at home to show them how to watch TV. They would honestly ask us how to turn on the TV every single day. Parents.

RLeviathanH said...

I had a huge deja vu moment when I read the part about the Hermione boots. It was really, really crazy!

but the name is Tarah. said...

I think all of your subscribers should come together and kill that metal road sign once and for all.

We can form a gang. The Ghoovers.

Scott said...

I don't have anything to say today other than the song I'm listening to is frightfully pretty.

Lost, by Anouk.

If you want a love song with a 1980's kind of sound, highly suggested.

kalimagination said...

I freaked out a bit when I saw your title, as I hit a cat while driving today.
I didn't kill it, thankfully, but it none the less scared me to the point that I had to stop driving for eight minutes to catch my breath and sanity.

absolutemediocrity said...

Ah, yes. The "fun" with online-creepers & stalkers. I learned my lesson a couple years ago when someone I talked to on AIM ended up tracking me down at the store I was working at and staring at me for hours. I only found out about it when I talked to them later in a fun little conversation that went something like this.

Me: Heyo. How you been?
Normalish Girl: Good, good. What are you up to?
Me: Not much, just got home from work. Burnt, it was pretty busy all night.
Getting creepy girl: Yeah, I stopped in your store on Friday to say "Hi" but you had a line.
Me: (Realizing I didn't tell her what store I work in) Oh...yeah... We were kinda slammed on Friday. Still, you should have at least said "Hey" on the way out. How long were you there?
Full-on Creepy Girl: Four hours.

And that's why my personal info stays far, far away from the prying eyes of the intarwubs nowadays.

Anyway, cheer up. The creeps and bottom-feeders just make your regular fans sparkle that much more. Okay, not really, but we're willing to be an attack mob of snark and head-shaking at a moments notice. That's gotta count for something, right? *grin*

Kristina said...

I think I fall into the unsexy category as of late, as I can't seem to let myself have fun because I'd rather be sad. :/

In other news, I get to meet the sexy category on Wednesday, so life isn't all bad.

Josie said...

We hit a pigeon the other day as it flew into the windscreen whilst driving. It made a sound that told us it had died instantly. Not a pleasant experience as I'm not a supporter of killing animals. Anyway, have a good day :)

Katy J said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Katy J said...

Keep your chin up. :]

Karissa said...

You DID hit the shopping mall jackpot, that cardigan sounds amazing. Online shopping has been my friend this week. I'm not sure why I didn't see the light until now, but it fully took a pair of panda earmuffs to show me what I've been missing.

p.s. I am supposed to be getting on a plane tomorrow, and I am not even halfway packed for college, my room is a disaster zone, and I am here commenting instead. At least my priorities are in line. [:

janitorbud said...

i <3 whataboutadam.
i liked this blog. very much so.

NicholaSophie said...

Loved this post!
Very entertaining :)
& it would make a very good video on youtube.

traderbob11 said...

Joe Black is missing an ear. Yeeesh women drivers! ha

Whataboutwhatever guy kinda looks like that Sebastiwhatever guy--go figure.

So, this GHOOVER vigilante gang--are we supposed to beat up the sign or the lady driving the van? I'm in!!

See ya Hayley

Anonymous said...

I was just on your youtube page...and you have 20,001 subscribers right now. Congrats! :)

Maggie FTW said...

I want to know where you found this Hermione Boots and where I can get a pair.

Adam said...

I'm only reading this now, but it makes me very happy. <3