I didn't have a ton of time to think about this, though, because I was only two chapters in when Jess texted and we had a joint mini meltdown. Around 1AM, she was letting tears drip into the brownie batter she stood alone eating, while I cried into tissues in my room with all the lights on. The two of us have never been criers-- like, practically ever-- so it was a pretty big deal. Sebastian called to try and console me, but I was too snotty and embarrassed to appreciate it. Instead, I whined to him about things that are pathetically true ("I don't have memories from before Lauren and Jess!") and things that seemed true at the time ("I don't know how to make friends, and I'll spend all my time in a corner, alone!") until all the crying made my head feel heavy and I fell into resigned sleep.
I slept much later than normal, and finally got out of bed around ten, feeling sore and like I'd gained seventy pounds overnight. My sister made me breakfast, but I took one look at it, felt depressed, and put the plate on the floor for my dog. Then Kelly and I went to our grandparents' house for a bit, and I didn't eat until after my stomach was ready to murder me. I hate being all whiny and typical, but I feel flat-out sad. It sucks.
Oh, and I had a special idea for a fiveawesomegirls video, which I even filmed part of, but I couldn't muster the energy to edit and post it, so I just didn't. It's taking a lot out of me to blog right now, but I know there are a lot of readers going through, quite literally, the same thing, and I think it's therapeutic for all of us if I record these feelings while they're ripe. I hope it gets better soon.
Sexy: The fact that Kayley (owlssayhooot) is going to start blogging regularly. You can read/follow it here, and I suggest that you do.
Unsexy: The fact that my sister thought the new Beyonce song, "Ego," was about an eagle. As in, "He's got a big eagle. Such a huge eagle."
Chipotle burritos this year: 27
S'mores this summer: 6
Bye, guys. Hopefully I'll see you tomorrow. <3