Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Sextastic Disney Kids and John Green

Is there something in the water making all the wholesome young TV stars sing about the sex we don't like to imagine them having? I found out the other day (much later than everyone else did, according to Jess and Lor) that the guy who played Jimmy on Degrassi is a fairly well-known rapper. Like, this guy is the same person as this guy. Okay, I don't know what it means to make one's lady parts, uh, "whistle," but I don't like the sound of it, and I like the idea of Jimmy Brooks causing it a lot less. 

Hilary Duff and Vanessa Hudgens also need to clam down. I don't want to know about Lizzie McGuire's sexual deviancy or see a sexy silhouette of Gabriella Montez. And Hayden Panettiere? Somebody pour a bucket of cold water on that girl's head, because she's making me more uncomfortable than Ashley Tisdale, and that's saying something. I'd prefer if the music videos of Disney Channel stars didn't end with passionate, guttural moans. But that's just me.

I mean, it's not like I'm some kind of ultraconservative schoolmarm. Lady Gaga can do with disco sticks whatever she pleases in her chrome space goggles. I'm no Laura Mallory, and I understand that television corporations don't necessarily own the souls of their stars for all of eternity... but I'm just a little creeped out when they all appear to be trading in their sequins for stilletos. Rather than another handful of Lindsay Lohan disasters, let's hope for a couple more DJ Tanners that fall off the face of the earth once they outgrow their cuteness. (Oh, and Lindsay? If you want people to "back up off you," you should probably stop dancing in a cage.)

Unexpected rant over. Sorry, guys; no idea where that came from. In other news, I'm in John Green's BlogTV room... mostly for the ego boost. "And THAT'S why I love Hayley," he just said, as if on cue. (I will not admit to blushing.) Anyway, John's talking about love and relationships, which is really one of his most amusing recurring topics. "I know there aren't a lot of hot 107-year-olds, but Edward Cullen, you really shouldn't be banging eighteen-year-old chicks!" says John. I don't really know how I feel about that statement. On one hand, it's incredibly true. On the other hand, I don't like the sound of John saying "banging chicks."

Sexy: What John's currently saying about high school. "It doesn't have to be puppies and lollipops all the time. You just have to get through it. And when it's over, you can be free and go do something else."
Unsexy: How much I miss the other awesomegirls. I had quick conversations with Kayley and Lauren today, and I already feel the absence of Kristina, who's in England and therefore unable to text me. Liane and I haven't talked in forever. I just wish all my friends, like... lived here.

Chipotle burritos this year: 24
S'mores this summer: 6
Subscribers: 18,637

Bye, guys! Hopefully I'll see you tomorrow. <3


Anonymous said...

You gotta figure that most of them are way more messed up than Disney lets on.

Just because you've got a beautiful young person who knows how to sing/act/dance, the American public seems to expect that they will also be reasonably intelligent. Though no one seems particularly surprised when Paris Hilton (who's famous for being famous? Whubbut?) is arrested. Again. For being vapid.

Anyway, the point is, I can't help but wonder if they don't really have a clue what they're doing. I mean, they must on some level, but....

Anonymous said...

So very true about all the newly sexy Disney Channel stars. It will only be a few years until Hannah Montana is acting the same way.

Oh the irony, the ad next to the blog contained a girl with so much cleavage, it would make a hooker red in the face.

Anonymous said...

Disney Stars are usually PG on Disney Channel. When they record an album it's just basically a waste. (But that's just me.)

I know how you feel that you wish the other awesomegirls would just be...closer. That's how I feel about one of my friends that live on the other side of the world. (I was in the BlogTV Twitter chatroom too. John Green is so poetic isn't he?)
I hope your college experience is more memorable than HS. Your roommate sounds awesome so far.

Erin said...

i agree with you completely and totally, Hayley, i mean some may say that their managers manage their "look" and the content that they portray in their music videos and songs etc. but really, when you get right down to it. those managers aren't holding them at gunpoint to DO WHAT THEY WANT. you know? they want the "sexy" edgy bad girl look, but it's so disgusting. and about the John Green blogtv, I WAS WATCHING THAT TOO! and i typed "we all love Hayley" :)
also, why is there a thing underneath your blog?
. . .

maurr said...

You make a really good point about the Disney stars these days. It's really strange when, after many years of going under the alias Disney seems to force them into, they come out almost like a teenager rebelling against overly-strict parents.

janitorbud said...

the laura mallory comment made me smile =D
it is really weird to hear disney starts sing about sex. or learn their actual age.

Johnny Rollerfeet said...

i'm more concerned that these celebs can only make over-produced auto-tune albums. alanis morissette didn't use auto-tune. (she's the only tv child star i can think of who made a good album.)

i'm curious what's the appropriate age for edward cullen _to_ "bang" (assuming he only goes for living women.) isn't it creepier for him to hit it with an 80/90 year old?

Emily said...

Yeah, the unsexy of the day hits home with me. :[
Two of my best friends in the world live 600 miles away from me, and I have a whole group of people who are sort of like my second family who live in Bolivia, and I haven't seen them or even talked to them for real in over two years. It's been especially hard recently as a few of my friends just got back from Bolivia and got to see all the people I love there, and I didn't. :[
I want all my friends to live near me too!

amy said...

lol the guy in the Ashley Tisdale video was the one with the weed in that 7th Heaven video!

your blogs are always so entertaining!

Hannah said...

I completely agree about your Disney star rant. A lot of little girls look up to these people and what kind of exmaple are they setting? Also, it is a little disturbing to see the girl from the Parent Trap and Freaky Friday rubbing herself up against the wall of a lift...elevator, whatever.

I was in John's blogTV show until my Internet connection died on me, and just caught his little discussion about Twilight. Hilarious.

Awesome blog as always...never fails to brighten my day and make me think at the same time


Johnny Rollerfeet said...

Oh, JT, BSpears and Xtina. I'm not sold on DLovato, yet.

Stefan said...

Funny you bring up DJ.. cause she's BACK! On the almost wonderful Make it or Break it.

Adam said...

i would definitely not mind a few more DJs in the world.

oh, deej

Sydney said...

I agree about the Disney stars. It's like they sing on one episode of the TV show/Movie they are in and then they feel the need to make albums and music videos with them being "sexy" in them.

Sarah A.F.Mow said...

Oh Haley that variety of youtube videos from ex disney stars made me so uncomfortable... but none so much as Hillary Duff's weird ass hat. I mean really.

I'm done now...

Summer said...

I was also going to point out that DJ Tanner is on Make it or Break it. Someone beat me to it!

The Hilary Duff video doesn't bother me as much since Hilary is, you know... old, but the Hayden Panettiere video is RIDICULOUS. OMG for a second I thought she was going to take her pants off right there on the restroom floor.

Katy said...

Alan says you need to blog about Taking Leave.

Just saying.

<3 KT

Elizabeth said...

Okay, so I'm pretty sure you sent us to the Wikipedia article JUST to trap those of us with OCD into reading the. Entire. Thing. That's LONG, Hayley.

You know, for most creepy, I'm vacillating between Hilary Duff and Ashley Tisdale. But that's just me.

Robynne said...

This is completely off topic, but I didn't feel like finding the post I'm referring to in order to make it on topic.

We were finding out our roommates/people in our dorm at approximately that same time, we being you and me. So you have all your cool drama kids, right? Well I'm stuck with two girls who are essentially my complete opposite. I'm a tad jealous of you. ;)

Zombie said...

I'm sorry you're sad. :( One of my good friends moved away some time ago and it was hard from going to seeing her at least once a week to barely seeing her at all. At least you have us! *creeper smile*

Anonymous said...

ahaha omg i feel the same way about the disney peeps.
really, its ok 2 grow up, but u dont have to act like a slut 2 get there.

Olivia said...


John mentioned you a lot in BlogTV today.

Hope you're having a good week!

Olivia said...

Sorry, but I have to comment again because OH MY! I JUST WATCHED THE ASHLEY TISDALE VIDEO.

I have no words.

Oh, and I love DJ Tanner.

Sebastian said...

Remember Winnie Cooper of The Wonder Years? She's also, like, a mathematician.

Anonymous said...

My drunken perspective:
All the Disney starlets will either come crawling back to the company that spawned them or they'll become Lindsay Lohan+1. Either way, they're completely irrelevant. Don't feel bad for questioning their morals, it's entirely natural. And necessary. (Slags.)

Also, I missed John's blogtv session by 7 hours. Blast and dangs.


Catherine said...

I think the word quote bang unquote is just awkward in any sexual context.

Anonymous said...

Oh how I miss the days when blogtv took over my life. I swear I had a schedule. Anyways I completely agree with your rant. I honestly can't watch their music videos thoroughly because I get REALLY BAD second hand embarrassment. I will admit that that I do like Jimmy Brooks/Drake's music but that's probably because I never watched Degrassi. And even though I do love "Best I Ever Had" and know all the lyrics, that "whistle" line angers me, confuses me and makes me cringe. every. single. time. Same goes for the video. I've only watched it once, and plan to keep it that way.

traderbob11 said...

Wow Hayley, thanks for all the links to the hot girl videos! Um, ya including your last video. :)

alimarie_11 said...

i'm so glad that you put links in your posts
i know exacatly what you say by how UNCOMFERTABLE it is to see this post-disney artists(?)

shaking their thangs all over the screen, people really need positive role models, (and oringinality)
that why i love you and the other awesome girls, you stick to the fact that you don't have to flash your body all over to Do something with your life, you show us that you can gain happiness by using your mind.
thanks hayley!

Tom said...

This was the funniest thing ever (for other readers, not directed at you Hayley since you probably heard it):
In the BlogTV show, somebody asked who Charlie was, and John said that Charlie made up "All your base are belong to us," and that Charlie played Daniel on LonelyGirl15, and Charlie was Ze Frank, and then Charlie finally revealed himself as a British kid.

Swear to God, I remember in like 2005 watching a Degrassi special thing where they were following the actors around in real life, and on the one with Aubrey Graham, he was talking about his music career and showing his studio and whatnot. And I felt bad for him, because I didn't think some Canadian child star would ever get famous for rapping. Then one day my brother showed me a song with Lil Wayne and him, and he was like "It's Jimmy from Degrassi!" So basically I agree with you when you say Wtf. Not that I'm like, unhappy for him or anything.

Stephanie said...

I didn't know that Drake was Jimmy until my friend told me after she read your blog earlier today. It's blowing my mind. Mostly just because I'm remembering that episode where Jimmy is upset for being unable to get it up after being shot. So tell me how he has been able to have enough sex in order to proclaim that this one girl is the best he's ever had! However, it's a very catchy song so good for Jimmy.

heytheremeranda said...

So, I have a random question for you and believe me when I say it's random, how do you feel about Jake Epstein (Craig from Degrassi) being the new Melchior?

Haha, like I said its a random question and would love to hear what you think about it!!


VicMorrowsGhost said...

The saddest part about it isn't that the Disney kids are so over sexed, it's that it sells.

Scott said...

I miss 5AG so much. I know you all have lives and such, and you all make videos when you can, but a (big) part of me misses having a daily video to rely on.

Some people need their daily coffee, some people need their heroine, I need my daily fiveawesomegirls.


Nicholas said...

I loved that BlogTV show :) and I have to say that the more pressing question for Edward would be why the hell he spends the majority of his un-life in high schools instead of trying to make the world a better place, goody two shoe vampire that he apparently thinks he is... I mean he should actually try to redeem himself for killing people in the past (same goes for the other Cullens who apparently think just because they stopped killing makes the past killing non-existent?)

Elizabeth... said...

The Disney kids scare me, the corp puts so much effort into making real people into fake people that pretend to be real people that real people look up to even though it's all fake. It's mind boggling and disastrous and rants like yours are required.


Katie said...

Holy shit, I was completely in the dark about how skanky Disney girls are. I mean, we all know Lindsay is crazy, but her video was the most mild out of the ones you linked to- lyrically anyways. IMO Ashley's and Hilary's videos were the worst. This blogpost has saddened me. I am appalled with this generation and terrified of what little girls who look up to the Disney girls as role models will grow up to be! As a side note, I typed "grope up to be" before noticing and correcting it. Foreshadowing? I think yes.

traderbob11 said...

You could have made Hilary jealous by adding the link to that hot rock and roll girl at HGHRESPONDS !! :)

Anonymous said...

What makes me most uncomfortable about the Ashley Tisdale video is that she can't stop smiling. I prefer the creepy sex look everyone else has when they're doing the creepy sex dance to her scary grin.

Katherine said...

I wouldn't mind hearing the rap that Jimmy would make and does make sometimes one the show, but hear what the actor raps make me sad. I was watching Degrassi season 7recently and wishing I could hear more by Jimmy, that is just not what I wanted to hear.

Becka said...

I know what you mean about Disney stars. I know that they should be free to do their own thing. I just wish their own thing included less...gyrating?

That said, I don't like them even when they aren't gyrating. Mainly cause they all look like they've had their smiles stapled into place, and they creep me out just a little.

Also, I love John Green. Thats all I have to say about that section of the blog.

In other news, I've spent the last three days helping out at this Church run thing in my town. It goes on for another week and a half, but I'm on holiday for most of that. I was helping with the little kids, like, baby-4. It was awesome. Today I painted faces.
I realise that this is unrelated to your blog, but I know you read the comments, and this way it feels less one-way.

Oh, and though I'm sure someone else has mentioned it by now-- they should clam down? Really?

Oh, and another last thing- wouldn't you rather have awesome friends who live far away, as opposed to mediocre friends who live close by? You're lucky to have awesome friends Like TOLauren and that, and awesome friends like Kristina and Lauren.

Emma said...

Is it just me, or does the guy in that Hayden Panettiere video look like a super creepy version of Edward Cullen? Not that Edward isn't creepy on his on, but the guy in the video totally has the creeper stare down.

notaclareintheworld said...

I saw that guy from Degrassi in concert with Lil Wayne!

Also, Hilary Duff completely fails at being sexy.

msphix said...

Maybe this will clarify your observations:

Kaitlin said...

I just want to know how you can make a lady part whistle. I hear that song every time I'm in my friend Jessica's car and everyone in the car discusses it. Really with no resolution, but we all still wonder.

and it weirds me out too whenever I see a Disney star being sexual. I mean, I grew watching them be wholesome and innocent, and BAM! They be takin it anywhere at anytime with anyone, apparently.

SnakesAndWorms said...

At least DJ was able to fall off the face of the planet in a wholesome way. Stephanie became a meth head.

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