Kelly (the sister closest to me in age) and I spent most of the day hidden in our parents' room, reading FML and TFLN, avoiding small talk with the masses of politicians scattered on our lawn. It was pleasant and fairly brain-stimulating activity, so I was irritated when my mother insisted I come outside and "network" with some man who edits video professionally. A few seconds into the man's one-way, forty-minute conversation, it became apparent that we do very different things. He's an advertiser who doesn't know how to upload videos to youtube. I tried to maintain eye contact and occasionally mock-smile, then escaped at my first opportunity. "Don't flatter yourself," I said to my very excited mother. "I only came outside for one of those chocolate eclairs." Well, the eclairs had been cleared out, and it was a long trip through a lot of eager strangers back to inside comfort. I ended up pretending to laugh at a lot of dadjokes about my hair and explaining that "Yes, I'm the youngest... no, I'm not really much of a Republican... yeah, um."
(I know people will ask, so once and for all, my political views are... whichever side is least represented among the company I'm in. I'm the family's Raging Liberal to my ultra-conservative lawyer sister, and the Heartless Conservative on youtube. In reality, I have conservative views on some issues, stemming from my religion, but I'm primarily a liberal-minded person.)
Oh! What I was getting at. An old family friend was giving my dad a hard time for going to see HPatHBP, throwing around things like "Dumbledorf" and "Ya gonna wear one of those tall, pointy hats?" I was already on edge from the whole atmosphere of the event, so I was at the point where it's hard to pretend smile. So I just didn't. And then: "What's that thing about Dumbledorf being a pedophile or something?" I bit the inside of my lip and closed my eyes. "I know Republicans can't tell the difference, but he's not a pedophile. He's just gay," I said. Some other joke came out of that, but I gulped my classy plastic cup of white wine and ignored it, running inside.
In other news, I've been on pins and needles since May, waiting to find out my rooming situation at Ohio University for the fall. I've been checking the website like crazycakes, refreshing my email, reading the incoming freshmen facebook group, tapping my fingernails. Finally, I received an email today announcing that I should know my room number and roommate(s)' name(s) by tomorrow. My thought process: What if we're really different and have nothing to talk about? What if she's really needy and I have to pretend to be friends with her? What if I want to be friends with her but she doesn't like me? What if we hit it off really well? ...Is my middle name on facebook still Fairytopia?
I'm slightly (okay, SERIOUSLY) freaked out by the idea of college. I took some classes at a university nearby last school year, and I figured it out and everything, but for some reason I felt younger than everyone else. Like they were always staring at me. And, sure, I was a fake at the time, but they didn't know I was a high schooler playing dress-up. They thought I was one of them, and I still could sense how out of place I was. Will it be different at OU because I'm living there? Will it be worse because I'm not the stereotypical party type? Will it be better because my sister will be there as a senior?
Will I ever calm the hell down and just breathe?
My siblings (all OU veterans) and my mom keep trying to ease my nerves. Kelly says she was nervous and scared at first, but now she feels like Athens is her only home and like she's visiting somewhere when she comes back for holidays. My brother Tad's been a graduate for a year and a half, and he still hasn't coped-- fleeing to OU whenever he gets the chance. My other sister, Cori, wasn't the party type either, and she only had one friend on campus, but she fit in and loved her college experience. Just about the same goes for Tyler. They all say I'll love it, and that I'll be okay. Sigh. We'll see.
For now, though, I'm just going to keep listening to Kristina and Luke Conard's collaborative album, Songs in the Key of Email, on repeat, and stressing a little bit. Maybe I'll have another cup of tea with honey. Pray/cross your fingers for the news tomorrow!
Sexy: "You know what's sexy and unsexy?" said my mother earlier, unprovoked, trying to be cool. "People are sexy when they're themselves. You'll make friends at college by being you." Okay, she's corny as hell, but it's kind of sweet all the same. NO, I DON'T THINK MY MOM IS "SEXY," YOU PERVERT.
Unsexy: Friend drama. Bleehhhhhhhhhh.
Chipotle burritos this year: 24
S'mores this summer: 3
P.S. I just played a million games of 20 Questions online, and it is just downright freaky. I played the Harry Potter version, and it guessed Andromeda Tonks correctly. Seriously! And look at this one:I put "sometimes" for number eight because of "the talking stove," and it STILL got it right. My goodness!
Bye, guys. Hopefully I'll see you tomorrow. <3