On Wednesday, I went to the wizard rock show in Akron, Ohio to see Justin Finch-Fletchley, The Whomping Willows, and The Moaning Myrtles. The performances were so, so good and fun. Lauren (devilishlypure) and I spazzed all over each other in a love puddle, and I got to FINALLY meet Nina (ninjapiano) after years of fangirling and months of we-need-to-meet!-ness. I talked to Adam Dubberly of The Mudbloods on Nina's phone. And then, in slow motion, my eyes caught Matt Maggiacomo's across the crowded room. Violins played. We hugged. It was good. And of course, I met some of you guys! If you were one of the people I got pictures with, could you please send them to me? You're all incredible.
After the show, I hung out with Lauren, the bands, and the AWESOME hp-ohio people. We ate a lot of food and just talked about how much we hate the Potter movies, gossiped, and filmed some incoherent, funny footage. Matt and I blushed out of mutual respect/obsession for each other. The next day we went to lunch in the city where most of my IRL friends will be going to college in the fall. All in all, it was fun, and saying goodbye to a fellow awesomegirl NEVER gets easier. :( At least Lauren'll be back for our friends' wedding in August.
On my way home, I got a call from Andrew asking me to play tennis with him and some of his friends. I said no, that you couldn't pay me to play tennis in a million years... because I was driving right next to the court as we spoke and thought it would be funny to show up right as I refused on the phone. I only stayed for a short time, though; partially because I was wearing a dress, partially because I was waiting to hear from my friend Sebastian who stayed at the hospital overnight for mono. And partially because we can barely stand each other sometimes and this whole dating thing is a very, very bad idea.
"What'd you think of my graduation speech?" he asked, because I've barely spoken to him for the past two weeks. Neither of us even notice, though, because we have no desire to have constant contact. Which should be, like, a sign.
"I think it was very," I said, flailing my arm in the direction of the ball to no avail, "representative of your character."
He caught the ball and lodged it back to his friend. "You could have seen me do that if you'd come to more of my tennis matches," he said to me. At least I think it was to me, because his ugly sunglasses covered his eyes.
I didn't say anything in response to that because, okay, he has a point. But what I really wanted to say was, "You would know what I thought of your speech if you paid enough attention to know I have a blog I update nearly every day!"
I fully recognize how immature and moody I am regarding relationships, but now I'm starting to realize why it is we'd never gotten together before. We're friends, but we only like what the other person is to us. He liked that I made him have fun during the school year instead of just studying all the time. I liked that he put me on a pedestal and preferred me to everyone else. We liked the social shock value of "getting together" at the end of our senior year. But we do not like each other! Ugggh. I'm not looking forward to telling him this, but alas. We're not in school anymore, and the foundation of our entire "relationship" graduated with us. Sorry to disappoint.
Anyway, I've gotta go make guacamole for my sister's birthday party tonight. Other than that, I'll just be sitting here, waiting for the mononucleosis I've obviously caught from spending all my time with my diseased friend, to kick in and kick me in the face.
Chipotle burritos this year: 21
Subscribers: 16,533
Bye, guys! Hopefully I'll see you tomorrow. For real, this time. <3
P.S. I just received my final high school report card. And although I had nightmares last night about having to go back to school (I'm so not kidding!) now I have ABSOLUTELY NO CONNECTION TO MY HIGH SCHOOL WHATSOEVER. I am DONE. Thank you, and goodnight.
49 comments:
Hi Hayley, I love your blog. They do remind me a lot of the Jessica Darling series (which I'm reading because of you). Anyway, what I wanted to say is that I applaud you for knowing when it's time to end a relationship. I like the way you look at things and even though ending it won't be the funnest thing you ever get to do, I think you're very rational and mature. So yeah...in conclusion...you're cool.
Movies are intellectually retarding.
You hate the HP movies?!
Wait, I guess I shouldn't e shocked because I hated them until this past Saturday when I had an epiphany and realized I LOVE them. I was re-reading the series from the beginning, which I've never done before. While in the middle of the 5th book I thought to myself how fucking much I love the books. OotP was on also so I watched and it was like any chance to see the books represented in a different way had to be at least okay. But it was love.
And Dan Radcliffe is hot.
Sorry for the super annoyingness of this comment. I am aware of it and will correct the problem in the future.
The other day, I was driving behind a car which displayed "5AG" as the last three characters on its license plate.
He was very slow and not awesome at all.
He didn't deserve it.
But I think it's good that you can actually identify exactly what it is that's not going right, instead of knowing that *something* is wrong, but not being quite able to put your finger on it.
It'll make the horrible, awkward conversation a lot less horrible and awkward because it won't be like: "It's just not working out..." and all vague and bleh.
Speaking of being vague an bleh...I'll shut up :]
The Harry Potter movies are absolutely horrible! I just finished rereading Half Blood Prince, just so I could critique the movie and point out its flaws..what can I say? I may think Tom Felton is a gorgeous piece of ass, but even he can't make those movies entirely enjoyable.
The movies are disappointing, but I do like Emma Watson, so that's something. Glad to hear you had so much fun with Lauren et al , and some video evidence would be nice. Hint.
Since you're going to start university in a few months, and presumably so is the sort of boyfriend thing, now seems as good a time as any to end it mercifully. I hope everyone, but mostly you, comes out of it okay.
You might be subconsciously too invested in scrubs. You date like JD.
(That's not being critical, its just an observation) :)
It depresses me how I have just recently discovered this little world online, and now that I have, all the other people in it are burning out.
Oh well, it's just how things happen I guess.
Hayley, you have no idea how happy it makes me when i type in this url and there's a new blog entry x)
Thanks for that. Sorry to hear about the bf situation, but if it's not right, it's not right i suppose. I know exactly what you mean about the relationship being completely connected to school, the one i'm in is like that, and i'm unsure of what to do about it. Anyway, long comment, i shall leave now. <3
Keep having fun IRL Hayley. I love reading your blogs and I hope you have a great summer :D
Good for you for being critical enough to know that your relationship isn't working out. That pretty much proves that you're not immature. You need a head on your shoulders to discover things like that.
And WHY, oh WHY does Akron, Ohio have to be 3,366 kilometers (God bless Google Maps) from my small rural Canadian town?! I want to go to a wrock show with the Ohio-HP people and get HGH fanboy pictures too!
Hey i know you like Sarah Dessen a lot and i found the first two chapters of her new book on her ning. You may have to be a member to see it but, anyway, here it is- http://sarah-land.ning.com/group/thecomealongfortheridechallengeweek1
so that jim commenter wins bonus points for making me spit My Ice Tea lemonade half and half concoction.. Scrubs for the win...
the hardest art of any relationship is realizing
it isn't working huzzah you are passed that point.
The hardest part... damn typos....
I've been thinking a lot lately about the question who we really are to people close to us or how changing perspectives can change the outcome of what you see... you might be onto something when you say that you like him, because of what you are to him and the other way around. I'm curious how this will develop :)
And I'm so glad you're enjoying life and blogging less... well - the latter one not so much.
I love it when I happen to check your blog even though google reader tells me I have nothing new to read and you've updated. It makes my day. And if you think that you and Andrew aren't right for each other, then you should tell him. I'm glad you're having some real life fun. Enjoy it!
Hayley: "Andrew, we need to talk."
Andrew: "..."
Hayley: "We don't like each other."
Andrew: "...but..."
Hayley: "I think we liked the idea of both of us liking each other, but we just don't. See, once we were together, I never really thought of you as my boyfriend, you were just my boyfriendthing.
Andrew: "But we've always liked each other.."
Hayley: "Yes, but only as friends..." *walks away stoically*
(Was that a little too weird?)
You could've like, snatched the tennis racket and in a random moment of hysteria, whacked him over the head with it, and while he lay there, profess your true feelings of "icantdothisanymore" to his unconscious body. Or you know...do the sane thing and profess while he's CONSCIOUS. ...I'm sorry I haven't slept in like 30 hours.
Hayley, I really like your blogs.
I hope the talkingtoAndrew thing goes well!
Oh and I wish your sister a happy birthday. (: Yummm guacamole.
Hope your friend gets better also. >.<
AND YAY FOR NO CONNECTION TO HIGH SCHOOOOL. -hugs- I'm happy you're out of that torture. <3
Ithinkyourblogsareprettyfreakingawesome,yeah?
I prefer AFK, than IRL, cause I have that wired feeling that everything is real life :-)
I just read all of your blog posts like they were a new John Green book: voraciously, greedily, and in one day. You got me hooked! It's kind of like reading the diary of a girl insanely like myself only waaaaay more talented, intelligent, and skinnier. I too have a weakness for literature and food, HGH. You've made me feel like a fangirl. Oh dear.
I think you should add this to the entry:
"By the way, if you saw me at the wizard rock show and thought the two girls sitting next to me looked waaaaayyyyy familiar, you're right! Lor and Jess were there, but a lot of people wanted to interview them and stuff so they didn't have much time for their loyal fans. Horrible, I know."
Just saying!
do you really eat the WHOLE burrito at chipotle?
cause those things are big.
and approximately 1000calories. no joke.
and you've eaten 21 before the year is half over...
so you will consume over 42000 calories in burritos this year if you keep this pace?
wow.
Sorry that Andrew thing isn't working out, but once you realize it's just not right, you have to move on. Why waste time on something that isn't going to work out? Good luck with that.
Yeah... I have nothing to say, but feel the need to share this fact with everyone.
Have a good always Hayley.
I think you will be proud of me for telling you this: i live in florida, and the nearest Chipotle is about 90 minutes away. to celebrate my last day of junior year, my friends, who are down from Ohio (how ironic) and i drove there today. driving in horrible rains only to be greeted by a creeper staring down our boobs, was totally worth the 90 minutes for that burrito. i have you to thank for the lovely discovery of Chipotle. (:
You keep saying things like "continue to spiral down the funnel of bad teenage decisions." Like it's happening to you, and you can't stop it.
The way I see it, if you don't like the person you're becoming... why not stop?
I didn't get a picture with you, but I did sit behind you at the concert. Afterwards I was like. "I should have said something because I am probs never going to see her again." but then i left. Yep, that's my story.
Oh, and I was totally fan-girling behind you, you would have most likley laughed, cause it was funny.
Hayley, I literally just finished This Lullaby by Sarah Dessen 5 seconds before getting on to check for an update on your blog. You make think, "Okay, and why do I care about you finishing a book?" Well, it's because in your posts you always say how bad you are at relationships, and in this book, so is the main character. But then she finds a guy she has no interests in at all and he has so many qualities that she doesn't like in anyone, but yet, in the end......well I think that you should definitely read it and find out. It's worth it, and it may help....maybe.
Woohoo! Congratulations on being done Done DONE with high school! It must feel good. I had to wait months for my final grades to get sent to me, but that's just how things work here in Queensland.
On the other hand. I'm sorry about your floundering relationship with Andrew. It mustn't be easy, even if you don't really like him. Maybe he feels similarly though. You might not end up hurting him as much as you think if you're just honest with each other.
But look at me here giving relationship advice. I am THE VERY LAST PERSON you should ever listen to speak about relationships. At least, probably. I honestly wouldn't know! XD
Haha, thank god you blogged today.
You know you've gotten to quite a sad level of obsession when you actually feel genuine disappointment when you log on someone's blog and they haven't posted that day. :)
Oh, and agreed on the HP movies. *shudder*
LOL I so relate to that report card dream, I had one that I got E+'s on my religion assignment that I put HOURS of work into!
Love the blog,
keep updatttting please.
I hope your sister's birthday party was fun and that the guacamole was good.
Good that you see that you and Andrew aren't right for each other. He probably feels that too. If you don't feel the need to see each other for 2 weeks, then there isn't love. Because when there is, you want to be with that person 24/7. Good luck with the talk though, those talks are never easy.
Mmmmmm guacamole.
agh agh aghhh one of the commenters' name is carla with a k! so...karla. aghhhh. okay anyway.
i love how honest you are about andrew, especially after the whole defending your use of the word 'boyfriendthing' awhile back. relationships are weird. i hope you find the right way to tell him soon, or not... either way, just don't let silliness have any negative effect on your summer.
that wrock show sounds amazing; i'm so glad you had fun. i'm going to the one in NJ the day after i get home from england and i'm really looking forward to it...i'll need large amounts of potter to help me get over the post study abroad depression hump.
First, I wish I lived in Ohio, because that Wrock show sounded so awesome. Secondly, I'm so GLAD that we agree upon the fact that the HP movies suck. Thirdly, you and the boyfriendthing are OVER?! Oh dear...
Hayley! I'm sorry about the random question, but I remember you said somewhere in one of the videos in your youtube channel that you go somewhere every year to help build low-income housing. What is the program called? (something something Homeless >.<)
Thank you so much!
Glad you know when to quit with the Andrew thing - good job. Knowing when to break it off is clearly showing that you are not spiraling downward in your teenage decision making.
Proud!
Reading that was so weird because that is exactly what happened to me at the end of the year (the friend/boyfriend part).
It's cool you got to see the Moaning Myrtles. I wanted to see them on Saturday in Galesburg, Illinois because I am close to that region but I had a show choir performance for the elderly.... Here's a link to what we looked like at a school called West Liberty back in Feb.
http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=51332283916
I just felt the pointless need to share that with you. haaa
Hope things work out with the boyfriendthing. Hopefully he won't take it too hard. He might need a long dosage of summer studying and tennis.
Live long and prosper, Miss Hoover.
Yeah, realizing you never ACTUALLY liked the person you were dating makes things intensely awkward, and difficult to admit to them as well.
I feel for you Hayley.
But I'm sure he will be okay if you break it off. Live long and prosper, right? :P
Okay, I know these things are kind of silly and all, but I gave you the "Enchanted Blog Award" thing - just so you know:
http://lanna-lovely.blogspot.com/2009/06/another-blog-award-thingy.html
For real, this time??
Mhm.
My friend Heidi was there on Wednesday too! I go to school in Ohio, but I live in Illinois during the summer with my family. I drove 200 miles to see them on Saturday. Then 200 miles back. Totally worth it.
My friend Heidi was there on Wednesday too! I go to school in Ohio, but I live in Illinois during the summer with my family. I drove 200 miles to see them on Saturday. Then 200 miles back. Totally worth it.
Fun fact: Adam Dubberly is one my best friends. We actually used to be in love with each other (but I wouldn't ever bring that up to him, it's kind of a sore topic). I know one could easily lie about this but...it's true. We live in Denton, Texas! We grew up in Amarillo, Texas and went to college there before we went to UNT! I don't know what else to say...
Sorry the boyfriendthing didn't work out. It's best to find out sooner than later, though.
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