Zomg you guys; keeping a haphazard account of my daily life full of inconcinnity and unrefined metaphors is so0o hard.
After all those other nondescript events, I went with Sebastian to a thrift store in our cracked out, pathetic excuse for a city (whose main attractions are failed rubber factories and wasted teenagers on stolen bicycles) so he could further his baffling flamboyancy with rejected clothes from the '70s. Only after I talked him out of purchasing an eight-sided table and mustard yellow poker night chairs, he came across one gem: a girls' top that greatly resembles Jemaine's "Casual Prince" getup from season one of Flight of the Conchords. It's hilarious. And he looks hilarious in it. And I spend all my time with a six-foot man who wears women's blouses.
I came home to a gathering of my family gnawing on the ribs of mammals for my brother's birthday. As I missed most of dinner, I unfortunately missed most of the Criticize Hayley session. It was pretty tame tonight. Just the occasional "Oh, leave the cupcakes; Hayley'll obviously eat them all!" and some awkward comments from my permanently drunk grandfather. I dreamt the other night that I had an affair with the director of music from my high school musicals. That last sentence had absolutely nothing to do with what I was talking about, but I sensed it getting boring and wanted to catch you off guard.
Anyway, for those of you who care enough about yourselves to not follow me on twitter, it turns out I don't have mono, strep, or lead poisoning. Apparently I just have hypochondriasis and the ability to make doctors roll their eyes. My throat does, however, continue to hurt miserably. Perhaps it's a blessing in disguise, though; today I turned down several cookies, a cupcake, some cobbler, and chocolate. This decision was about 20% willpower and 80% sinus-induced aversion, but maybe after a week of abstaining, I'll remember what it's like to eat when I'm hungry, instead of like a ravenous dog.
In youtubely news, Molly (mememolly) posted a video today inspired by my latest. We talk occasionally, and she's been subscribed to me as long as I have her, but I still feel like she's way too cool to acknowledge me. It's silly to heroine-worship someone just for being artistic and beautiful, but the fact of the matter is... I would give anything to be more like Molly. :) Also, I'm definitely posting a fiveawesomegirls video tomorrow, even if I have to have Audio Preview speak for me. It's been way too long, and I have way too much footage with Lauren (devilishlypure) and Matt (thewhompingwillows) to go unseen.
Chipotle burritos this year: 21
Bye, guys! Hopefully I'll see you tomorrow. <3