Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Casual Prince

The problem with keeping a daily blog in the summer is that sometimes... nothing happens all day. I could tell you about how Jess and I are twelve-year-olds and had to pull ourselves away from neon nail polish displays at the mall (after buying teal, to add to my collection of emerald, orange, hot purple, and lime green), or how I ended up buying my brother two dozen rolls of Mentos Fruit for his birthday, or how my being sick has prevented me from easily swallowing solid food, but... you probably don't care. You probably don't care, because I barely care. I care passionately about the Sailor Senshi's blood types, and I don't care about Mentos Fruit. I keep pushing off blogging until the last second, convincing myself (wrongly) that if I just hold out till the sun goes down, something really exciting and anecdote-y will happen. Unfortunately, I don't find my anecdote until midnight, don't get home until after, and don't remember or care about it the next morning.

Zomg you guys; keeping a haphazard account of my daily life full of inconcinnity and unrefined metaphors is so0o hard.

After all those other nondescript events, I went with Sebastian to a thrift store in our cracked out, pathetic excuse for a city (whose main attractions are failed rubber factories and wasted teenagers on stolen bicycles) so he could further his baffling flamboyancy with rejected clothes from the '70s. Only after I talked him out of purchasing an eight-sided table and mustard yellow poker night chairs, he came across one gem: a girls' top that greatly resembles Jemaine's "Casual Prince" getup from season one of Flight of the Conchords. It's hilarious. And he looks hilarious in it. And I spend all my time with a six-foot man who wears women's blouses.

I came home to a gathering of my family gnawing on the ribs of mammals for my brother's birthday. As I missed most of dinner, I unfortunately missed most of the Criticize Hayley session. It was pretty tame tonight. Just the occasional "Oh, leave the cupcakes; Hayley'll obviously eat them all!" and some awkward comments from my permanently drunk grandfather. I dreamt the other night that I had an affair with the director of music from my high school musicals. That last sentence had absolutely nothing to do with what I was talking about, but I sensed it getting boring and wanted to catch you off guard.

Anyway, for those of you who care enough about yourselves to not follow me on twitter, it turns out I don't have mono, strep, or lead poisoning. Apparently I just have hypochondriasis and the ability to make doctors roll their eyes. My throat does, however, continue to hurt miserably. Perhaps it's a blessing in disguise, though; today I turned down several cookies, a cupcake, some cobbler, and chocolate. This decision was about 20% willpower and 80% sinus-induced aversion, but maybe after a week of abstaining, I'll remember what it's like to eat when I'm hungry, instead of like a ravenous dog.

In youtubely news, Molly (mememolly) posted a video today inspired by my latest. We talk occasionally, and she's been subscribed to me as long as I have her, but I still feel like she's way too cool to acknowledge me. It's silly to heroine-worship someone just for being artistic and beautiful, but the fact of the matter is... I would give anything to be more like Molly. :) Also, I'm definitely posting a fiveawesomegirls video tomorrow, even if I have to have Audio Preview speak for me. It's been way too long, and I have way too much footage with Lauren (devilishlypure) and Matt (thewhompingwillows) to go unseen.

Chipotle burritos this year: 21
Subscribers: 16,977

Bye, guys! Hopefully I'll see you tomorrow. <3


Nokorola said...

Hayley, eating when you're hungry is no fun!

Do you think you should be concerned with dreams about affairs with your musical director?

Hope you feel better Hayley :-\

Have a good tomorrow!

::allison:: said...

"I dreamt the other night that I had an affair with the director of music from my high school musicals. That last sentence had absolutely nothing to do with what I was talking about, but I sensed it getting boring and wanted to catch you off guard."

Brilliant. and now, instead of my homework, I'm writing you an acrostic poem

Harry Potter for infinity and beyond

Awesomeness in the mass of a recent high school graduate

Young but with vast wisdom

Loving blog followers attach to your every word

Entertaining as rereading harry potter

Youtube's pink haired princess

...Enjoy my procrastination project. (:

Katy said...

Ribs of mammals?
You're hilariously entertaining, Hayley, even when you're sick.

89ravenclaw said...

"It's silly to heroine-worship someone just for being artistic and beautiful, but the fact of the matter is... " I should probably stop doing that to you I guess =p

And yes, that dream mention did thoroughly throw me off.

Marlena said...

I thought this blog was going to be about, like, a modern, teenage slacker Hamlet.
Oh well. Flight of the Conchords is almost as good. hehe

A said...

"I, however, am addicted to Mentos Fruit." She says as she pops four into her mouth simultaneously. "I also find that stories about six foot tall men wearing rubber are very interesting." She adds, not wanting to ignore the rest of the post.
And with that, she skipped away, balloon in hand, leaving a trail of alternating candy and throat lozenges for the crafty writer who has sexual dreams pertaining to her director.

Brianna said...

I admire you for being artistic and beautiful AND awesome. Is that silly too?

Anonymous said...

Hayley, your boring days are more exciting than my interesting ones. Back to writing my paper.

Rebecca (P.S. I'm too lazy to log in)

A.J. James said...

hmmm and how did the dream make you feel, I had creams about my Theatre Arts Director all the time, but then she was incredibly gorgeous and insanely fun to hang out with.... weird...

I don't think you should worry so much about entertaining us, speaking for myself I just enjoy your ability to turn anything mundane into magic...

Bonus points if you thought of Piers Anthony because of that last sentence.

Abby said...

So I just finished staying up late watching ALL your videos last night. Only to look at your blog tonight. Glad a lot of the posts are good and long. I want to savor them all. Is that weird?

toastburntbread said...

today someone told me they were eating oreos in the park and i thought of you. :)
i saw that mememolly video, and i kept thinking, all the people i think are truly cool in the world are connected to each other. This was a truly happy thought for me, though i do not know why.
I've been constantly checking your blog spot today, and the longer i have to wait, the more of a thrill i get when a new blog comes. You are teaching me not to take things for granted.

Sarah said...

Hey Hayley. Long time reader, first time posting. yay :D

Just wanted you to know that I love reading your blog. You always have the most poignant things to say about daily life.

Scott said...

Today, I realised that Hayley Hoover's most boring days are way more above par than most of my more exciting. FML. XD

VicMorrowsGhost said...

No one has mono any more, you must have STEREO! The flu in 5.1 surround.

Catherine said...

I mean, I would be excited about the 5AG video, but you've made these promises before and have failed to keep them. =)

jennyxdoodle said...

Oh Hayley what you need to understand is I would give anything to be more like you.

You're smart, witty, and lovely. Plus the ability to pull of pink hair is definitely envied by me. (it would wash me out too much)

All in all, you are one of my youtube/blog idols.
Looking forward to 5AG video!

Anonymous said...

awww hayley, your daily blogs make me smile =]
and about your days not being very exciting with nothing to blog about, maybe you could do some blogs about your opinions on random things, or stuff that happened in your past. idk, its just an idea =]

**have a sparkling day**


Nicholas said...

That's the problem with Molly. She's so pretty that she could make a video just sitting there blinking 4x into the camera ;), but she decides to be creative on top of that. Annoying!

lindsey said...

YESS excitement at the prospect of a new Hayley 5AG video.

But anyway, this has nothing to do with your post, but I saw Drag Me To Hell the other night and I couldn't help but notice that the lead actress is basically a cross between you and Lauren Conrad. She dies at the end, too. And goes to hell. Sorry.

Janet said...

Has it ever come across you that there are people out there that heroine-worship you? =)

seurat2 said...

Your family has formal criticize Hayley sessions? What, to complain that you're so awesome that you upset the family quota for awesomeness?

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