Casual Prince

The problem with keeping a daily blog in the summer is that sometimes... nothing happens all day. I could tell you about how Jess and I are twelve-year-olds and had to pull ourselves away from neon nail polish displays at the mall (after buying teal, to add to my collection of emerald, orange, hot purple, and lime green), or how I ended up buying my brother two dozen rolls of Mentos Fruit for his birthday, or how my being sick has prevented me from easily swallowing solid food, but... you probably don't care. You probably don't care, because I barely care. I care passionately about the Sailor Senshi's blood types, and I don't care about Mentos Fruit. I keep pushing off blogging until the last second, convincing myself (wrongly) that if I just hold out till the sun goes down, something really exciting and anecdote-y will happen. Unfortunately, I don't find my anecdote until midnight, don't get home until after, and don't remember or care about it the next morning.

Zomg you guys; keeping a haphazard account of my daily life full of inconcinnity and unrefined metaphors is so0o hard.

After all those other nondescript events, I went with Sebastian to a thrift store in our cracked out, pathetic excuse for a city (whose main attractions are failed rubber factories and wasted teenagers on stolen bicycles) so he could further his baffling flamboyancy with rejected clothes from the '70s. Only after I talked him out of purchasing an eight-sided table and mustard yellow poker night chairs, he came across one gem: a girls' top that greatly resembles Jemaine's "Casual Prince" getup from season one of Flight of the Conchords. It's hilarious. And he looks hilarious in it. And I spend all my time with a six-foot man who wears women's blouses.

I came home to a gathering of my family gnawing on the ribs of mammals for my brother's birthday. As I missed most of dinner, I unfortunately missed most of the Criticize Hayley session. It was pretty tame tonight. Just the occasional "Oh, leave the cupcakes; Hayley'll obviously eat them all!" and some awkward comments from my permanently drunk grandfather. I dreamt the other night that I had an affair with the director of music from my high school musicals. That last sentence had absolutely nothing to do with what I was talking about, but I sensed it getting boring and wanted to catch you off guard.

Anyway, for those of you who care enough about yourselves to not follow me on twitter, it turns out I don't have mono, strep, or lead poisoning. Apparently I just have hypochondriasis and the ability to make doctors roll their eyes. My throat does, however, continue to hurt miserably. Perhaps it's a blessing in disguise, though; today I turned down several cookies, a cupcake, some cobbler, and chocolate. This decision was about 20% willpower and 80% sinus-induced aversion, but maybe after a week of abstaining, I'll remember what it's like to eat when I'm hungry, instead of like a ravenous dog.

In youtubely news, Molly (mememolly) posted a video today inspired by my latest. We talk occasionally, and she's been subscribed to me as long as I have her, but I still feel like she's way too cool to acknowledge me. It's silly to heroine-worship someone just for being artistic and beautiful, but the fact of the matter is... I would give anything to be more like Molly. :) Also, I'm definitely posting a fiveawesomegirls video tomorrow, even if I have to have Audio Preview speak for me. It's been way too long, and I have way too much footage with Lauren (devilishlypure) and Matt (thewhompingwillows) to go unseen.

Chipotle burritos this year: 21

Subscribers: 16,977

Bye, guys! Hopefully I'll see you tomorrow. <3