Before we begin, I need to tell you something awesome. I keep notebooks and pens on the floor by my bed (I have a bedside table, but that's for my phone, lamp, loose batteries/thumbtacks and garbage) in case I think of something brilliant as I'm falling asleep. I often flop over sideways and scribble thoughts down with droopy eyes, but they're usually illegible, nonsensical, or embarrassingly emo the next morning. Today, however, I awoke to this: "Everything I need in life that isn't a food or a friend is some blogging, some vlogging, and some snogging. Not so much logging, but I'm not that picky." I HAVE NO RECOLLECTION OF WRITING THIS WHATSOEVER. I nearly died. Wow. Okay. Back to our regularly-scheduled melodrama.
Some signs that you maybe have relationship issues:
--You don't finalize your breakup with the boy you've been flirting with since you were twelve-- not because you're heartbroken or nervous, but because you care so little that you'd forgotten about it.
--You finalize said breakup over a minute-and-thirty-eight-second phone call, ending with, "Cool; I'll see you later," on your part, and "Peace out," on his. *
--You go from practically pining for a boy you represent with the name of a pop star one night, then having a joyous conversation with him the next day about how great it is that you're over each other, and sort of almost mean it. **
--You have a thing with a friend for, like, a week, immediately regret it, then sort of want to have a sort of thing with them a few months later.
--You and your friends beat each other up to show affection.
--You go to a party with the person from item 4, run into the person from item 1 who's with another girl, text Item 3 during the encounter, and find it all really funny and nonchalantly nonawkward.
--And, most importantly, you leave the party at eleven so you can run home and blog about it.
*My phone conversation with Andrew (roughly):
Him: (very chipper) Hey! What's up?
Me: (equally friendly) Hi! Hey, I listened to your voicemail!
Him: (mild hesitation) Ah, yeah. So... you seem pretty okay with it.
Me: (happy as ever) Oh my gosh, yeah! I'm definitely very cool with it. And so are you?
Him: (cheering back up) Yeah, yeah! Well, I'm on my way to [our mutual friend's graduation party], so.
Me: Oh, okay; I'll probably stop by at some point.
Him: Cool, well.
Me: Cool; I'll see you later.
Him: Cool. Peace out.
The party was FUNNY. Jess and TOLauren spent the entire time cracking up and begging me to go sit in a little circle with Andrew and his sixteen-year-old Abercrombie babe, just to embrace and stroke any amount of awkward tension we could muster. I did, for a bit. "You know what's funny," he said at one point, avoiding eye contact with me, "is that--" I cut him off and finished, "I accused you of being interested in her [the junior girl], and you accused me of being interested in him [my friend]?" He laughed and nodded, and I cracked up and head-bobbed. "I totally don't care," I told Juniorcrombie. "Don't feel awkward about this at all, okay?" She half-smiled. Terrified.
Goodness, I'm glad high school is over.
**The conversation with Justin Timberlake began when I started feeling inexplicably melancholy at my friend Seers's graduation party. Even though JT and I have been dissonant for a long time, and even though I went without speaking to him for weeks, and even though I preach for hours on end about how much I despise him, I naturally look to him for comfort. The reason he can hurt my feelings so deeply is because he understands my feelings deeply. The reason I hate him for being a bad boyfriend is because he's such a good friend. Anyway, he instantly made me feel better, and we ended up playing a game called Say Nice Things to Each Other in a Strictly Platonic Way to Make Up for Some of the Hatred. And... it felt kind of pleasant! Half an hour ago, I received this text that I want to immortalize: "Hi. Just wanted to talk to you. I love talking to you. Days are carpe'd when you talk to me often." So... here's hoping friendship is possible. I'm skeptical too, guys; don't worry. But I'll keep you updated on any progress/digression.
ANYWAY, on a note completely unrelated to my raging estrogen, I squee'd with joy while reading yesterday's blog comments. First of all, thank you for participating! At the present time, the post has 119 responses, and each one is cute, funny, or interesting. I feel for you, Kylie, who by chance received two Aaron Carter songs. Props to ivebeentheatrefied for being decked out in Jonathan Larson. Poor ifmemoryserves suffered an Ashlee Simpson attack, reminding me of this great video. All in all, I loved each and every comment. Thank you.
Chipotle burritos this year: 21
S'mores this summer: 2
Bye, guys! This blog lacks continuity at best and sense at likeliest. If you're totally lost, ask questions in the comments, and I'll try to sort it all out for you when I'm not half asleep. Hopefully tomorrow. <3