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Sunday, June 21, 2009

My mother: Full-time Christian, Part-time Badass

"What is WRONG with you?" asked my enthusiastic mother early this morning, as I rolled over and tried to cling to the sleep she'd shaken me out of. "You haven't blogged in THREE DAYS!" I mumbled something about coming in too late, smiled, and flopped my face into a pillow. Well, guys, I don't know what's wrong with me, but I DO know that this post is long overdue.

First order of business: Cedar Point. Sebastian and I had a ton of fun on Thursday. The lines were surprisingly not atrocious; the longest we waited for a roller coaster the whole day was just over an hour. I rode the Top Thrill Dragster for the first time (in the front, no less!) and it was exhilarating times ten. It was sort of cloudy all day, so we weren't baking in the sun or anything, but conditions were less than ideal for the nasty water rides. While Sebastian is usually really mature and smart and interesting, there's this other side of him that's a hyperactive little boy. He gleefully dragged me onto a soaking wet raft ride, during which they attempt to make you as cold, wet and miserable as possible. "I am the greatest It's Complicated in the world," I told him, as a gallon of bug-infested urine/chlorine mixture was dumped on my head. "Yes," he agreed. "Yes, you are."

Something about shivering and having your clothes cling to you in every uncomfortable which-way just makes everything funnier, though. There were times that we had to get out of the way of walking traffic so we could double over and laugh. Also, we were marvelously amused by what must've been some kind of Ginger Convention going on that nobody'd warned us about. Sebastian and I had a competition throughout the day to count as many redheads as we could, and ended up with 174 total. I technically won, as we closed the official contest when I had 87 and he had 86, but Sebastian tried to tally one more as we were leaving. Either way, though, that is a LOT of gingers.

So Cedar Point is my excuse for the lack of blog on Thursday. I spent Friday and Saturday hanging out with friends like a normal eighteen-year-old. I PROMISED myself I would blog last night, and then I found myself singing Demi Lovato at a party with TOLauren (I'm going to start calling her Lor in my blog) at 12:15, and alas, it was too late. All in all, I've been having fun with graduation party season. Lor cheered me up from being relatively upset about a little bit of friend drama last night, and I'm not exactly over it... but I'll get into that tomorrow or something. I'm gonna leave now to go to my friend Kathleen's house for a Summer Solstice get-together. Goat sacrifices, tribal dances, the works.

But before I go, the conversation on the car ride home from church this morning. Oh my goodness. "You tell Justin Timberlake to go to hell," said my mother, the Sunday school teacher/Preschool director/social worker/perfect Christian church lady. "You don't let a boy be mean to you. Next time Justin Timberlake tries to talk to you, you tell him to go to hell!" Then my dad took one hand off the steering wheel to make a fist, and said, "You tell him I'LL bring sexyback." I don't know what the most mortifying part of this conversation was. 1) My mother damned my ex-boyfriend to hell. 2) My mother refers to my ex-boyfriend by the nickname I use for him in my blog. 3) My dad thinks "sexyback" can be used as a threat. And finally, 4) My dad knows who sings "Sexyback." Either way, Justin Timberlake, due to express instruction from my mother: GO TO HELL.

And on THAT note, ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to go have fun with a nice boy who's nice to me. :)

Chipotle burritos this year: 21
S'mores this summer: 2
Subscribers: 17,435

Bye, guys! Hopefully I'll see you tomorrow. Frealz. 

Lor took this picture of me on her snazzysexyartistgirl camera. (I don't know what it's called because I'm naive, but it's one of the kinds only awesome people have.) Anyway, I'm making a weird face, but my friends are incredible. <3

54 comments:

erngirl said...

Your parents sound like mine. All Christian and stuff Sunday morning, but as soon as you're in the car, all rules are off.

Although I just had to teach my mother recently what If You Seek Amy by Britney Spears was about. As soon as she understood, she slammed the radio off and said, "That girl is so trashy!"

Alas. Much love Hayley! :)

Anonymous said...

Sebastian sounds amazing =]
cute pic too <3333

**have a sparkling day**

<33

Kaitlin said...

I'm glad you've found a boy who is nice to you! You definitely deserve it. That picture of you is gorgeous!

Justin Timberlake said...

NO, YOU GO TO HELL!

joy isobel said...

I find it frighteningly amusing that your parents read your blog. I would never ever ever ever ever be comfortable having my parents read my blog. The idea of them knowing the inner workings of my complicated brain freaks me out to no extent. Though I do agree with them, Justin Timberlake is a... word I won't say because your parents read this blog, but he's terrible, to say the least. Anyways, I'm glad you had fun at Cedar Point :) I wish I could go to anywhere interesting, but I have a serious amount of studying to do. Yuck.

Joanne said...

I'd just like to give a shoutout to the Hayley seniors for being so awesome and being so nice as to procreate a bundle of awesome for everyone else to enjoy. Holla!
And I'd also like to say lulz at the JT comment, that was pretty mature.
Finally, I like the idea of ending comments in a way like this, let me know if you like it too:

**have a scintillating day**

melissa said...

You look so gorgeous that picture! You family seems hilarious and sweet

lindsey said...

Hahahaha @ the Justin Timberlake commenter. Sebastian... I think I like him on principle just because his name is Sebastian. But I like him even more because he is nice to you.

Kristi said...

OK this comment isn't going to have much to do with the blog you just wrote, but check out the ad placement on it: http://twitpic.com/82fj0

ahahahaaa <3

Brad said...

"there's this other side of him that's a hyperactive little boy"

I think you just summarized the entire male species with that statement.

Mike said...

Your parents sound hilarious. Although, your mom might need some soap for that mouth of hers.

Christy said...

I laughed SO HARD at what your parents said.

Catherine said...

I was a bit astounded that when I got home earlier today (I've been gone all weekend), that here wasn't a single Hayley blog in sight. Thoughts that went through my head: "Oh no, Hayley has succumbed to the evil that is sleep, and while it feels so good, you wish you could be up doing awesome things." Glad you had a fun couple of days. I also enjoy graduation party season, although it does set me back quite a bit in the money department. However I predict that next year I will not be inited to as many, for I truly hate my class and even if I did get invited, I wouldn't go to any save two or three people. And now I have procrastinated too long for I have a blog post to write for my group blog. "Dear 27-year old self..."

Leah said...

Speaking of your dad being awesome, I think I finally figured out who he reminds me of: Atticus Finch. So, good job with the whole... "having parents" thing.

I'm so happy you're so happy. And I'm enjoying this whole "I witness you being IRL, you witness me being IRL" stage we're going through. It's a refreshing change.

Also, god you're pretty.

Marlena said...

Hi, I like you, and you're pretty.

Natalie said...

I was way too chicken to go on the Dragster. Maybe next time...

Jess said...

I forget why I decided not to comment on that picture through facebook, but there was a reason... and I do really like it!

I also miss you and assume that a comment on your blog is a good vehicle of expression... in... that category. Bye. Let's make breakfast.

VicMorrowsGhost said...

When your Dad is "bringing sexy back" on JT is he going to take him to the bridge and whip him if he misbehaves?

Adam said...

Come up to Ann Arbor!
Did you know we actually have a Dream St. here? We could dance together on it.

(That may or may not be true but you won't find out until you come and visit me)

valerie2776 said...

Hah, Thunder Canyon...ftl

Jordan said...

You know, the more you describe Sebastian... the less Complicated it sounds.

Katie said...

Sebastian sounds like so much fun and I'm glad you two are each other's "It's Complicated." And gorgeous pic! :)

Jessica said...

It's really not fair that you're both brilliant and beautiful.

Also, could you give you're readers some book recomendations? I loved Sloppy firsts, and I assume you know of other equally good books?

CRUNKRacoon said...

Hayley: I wish I had your mom.

...I mean as my mom...not that I want her sexually or anything!!


*sigh* I don't come off as very smooth do I?

Katy said...

You should eat more s'mores.

Callan said...

my mom tried to read my blog too. but then i drew the line. your lucky your mom is cool enough to read it and then talk to you about it. Mines so awkward, she'll just randomly bring up what i wrote like 4 weeks ago and by then ill have forgotten what it was even about.

moms.

Rebecca said...

okay, Hayley, I think your amazing. This has nothing to do with your blog posting today. I just wanted to know if your aware that there are condom ads at the bottom of your blog. It just made me laugh a little. Sorry for the non sequitur.

Olivia said...

I love your parents.

Nokorola said...

Hayley, your family sounds ridiculous in the most awesome way. I'm glad that your mom has the your blog readers backs, we appreciate it.

Have a wonderful week Hayley.

itjusmar said...

Your parents are tight. I like how your dad knows who sings 'sexyback'. My parents, especially my dad, surprise me when they say something about a song or band I would have never expected them to know, its hilarious.
Glad to hear you had an awesome time with Sebastian and you look really pretty in the picture.

oh and I finally had a Chipotle burrito. I had gone to Chipotle once before with a friend after our SATs but only had some tacos. It was soo good but I couldn't believe I finished, it was huge. But none the less, my Chipotle burritos count this year begins.

Nokorola said...

...and I missed an apostrophe. (oh no!)

Shelby Rebekah said...

I'm still seriously confused as to if Sebastian is gay or not...

You look gorgeous in that picture btw :] work it out girl.

insertpalindromehere said...

I like that the conversation about "Justin Timberlake" could occur between you and your parents at all. Funny stuff :)

superrsharon said...

HAHA your parents are so funny! The other day I was driving with my mom and listening to the radio and the stupid "birthday sex" song came on and my mom was singing that part! I was like..umm what! NO MOM! haha! AND you look beautiful in that pic! =]

Scott said...

I was on the verge of googling "Hayley Hoover obituaries." You and Sebastien sound so... McDreamy. I hope that something works out for you, but I'm happy you're happy!

And your parents are soooo 1337, it's off the hook.

Kaitlyn w/ a K said...

Oh my gosh. Your dad. HAHAHAHAHA! Beautiful.

I'm glad you've been having fun. I semi-secretly love Demi Lovato. Oh, and Gingers ftw. :-)

A.J. James said...

I can't tell if the fourth commenter was a joke or if it was the "JT" enjoyed your post I'm glad you had fun... I get to hang with Kayley and Kristina in Portland at the gathering this weekend... super excited...

Amina Mimi said...

Having your dad knowing who sings sexyback is quite like my mother knowing all the lyrics to every beyonce song ever made. It is kind of scary ..

Erin said...

I love this post's title. That's a really nice picture of you.

Lydia :) said...

I actually LOL'd at the "You tell him I'LL bring sexyback."

Brilliant, <3

Dan said...

That's a really beautiful picture of you.
I'm glad you had a good day with Sebastian. Sounds like a good place to go. However, I hope you weren't being derogatory to gingers. I'm a ginger person.

Geez Louise said...

All boys have the hyperactive little boy side, some just hide it better than others, haha.
I love your blogs Hayley, they provide me with much entertainment.
And lolz at your parents... hahaha. And I like the sound of this boy who is nice ot you, sounds absolutely wonderful! <3

Geez Louise said...

p.s Gingers are raddddd.

catcherofthekey said...

Holy geez, your parents are awesome! Your dad made me laugh.

Hayley, you are absurdly pretty. That picture is gorgeous.

Claire said...

I LOL'd at this post's title. And that picture is absolutely gorgeous!

Annie said...

I love the pic!

Nicholas said...

Sometimes my parents scare me, too. Usually when they remind me that they are just as human as I am. Freaky, isn't it?

Amanda Lee said...

Sooo, you are incredible Hayley. :) I love reading your blog.

Anywho, most DEFINITELY bring your least-treasured copies of books to college. I lent out one of my favorite books and very nearly didn't get it back. I had a mini panic attack when I moved back home and realized it wasn't with my stuff. My roommate, however, is amazing and got it back from her and brought it to me.

Anyways, just thought I'd add that small opinion. I've been a long-time reader but this is my first time commenting. Just wanted to let you know how much I love reading your blog! :)

Freeman said...

Justin Timberlake, seriously, LMAOOOO!

Freya said...

1) That Picture is gorgous
2) Im sorry fro your mortification, but thats kinda hillarious
3) YAY for having fun with A nice guy :)

Erin said...

Hi Hayley, I've been reading your blog from the start, and I've watched hayleyghoover for a long time. (...And I subscribed to 5AG within its first week...) But! I haven't ever really commented.

But I felt the need to comment when I read the part about the conversation with your parents. Thanks for getting my "rofl" for the day in :D That's the funniest thing I've read in a long time.

Anonymous said...

you see these shackles baby i'm your slave.

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