It's nice outside, so I asked my dog, Lex, if she would like to go for a walk with me. "Would you like to go for a walk with me?" I asked Lex. She gleefully responded, "Why yes, I would love to dart unexpectedly up some mountains!" This would be fine and dandy on your average day, but alas, Lex and I were connected by a leash.
So today I worked out... against my will. Meanwhile, though, I was reminded that sometimes it sort of feels, like, good. This spurred on a list.
Ten easy ways to gain ten pounds:
1. Spend the majority of your time sitting sedentary in front of the computer.
2. Go on vacation.
3. Live primarily for a 955-calorie burrito.
4. Overdose on carbs because you're a vegetarian and, therefore, constantly hungry.
5. Break up with your serious boyfriend.
6. Quit cross-country running to be in musicals.
7. And also because you hate running.
8. Take a cooking class.
9. Finish puberty.
10. Really, really like food.
Ten reasons to lose ten pounds:
1. Be a member of a collab channel alongside four of nature's most beautiful women.
2. Receive an email calling you the fat, ugly one.
3. Be preparing for college, where first impressions are everywhere.
4. Be preparing for college, where most people naturally put on weight.
5. Read Nikki (babyporridge)'s blog and feel guilty.
6. It's possible that you appreciate food more on a less-full stomach?
7. Feel really gross and insecure all the time.
8. Live under the threat that at any time someone could recognize you from the internet.
9. Have a month left until major picture-taking opportunities like prom, graduation and summer.
10. Be of the most appropriate age to wear a bikini.
In youtubely news, the comments on the fiveawesomegirls/5awesomegays Baby Gift Exchange video continue to get funnier and funnier. How can anyone think we're serious?! Oh, youtube. You never cease to make me facepalm. Moving right along.
Sexy: Secret inscriptions on the insides of wedding bands, a la Baz Luhrmann's Romeo + Juliet.
Unsexy: Over-the-top public marriage proposals, especially performed by baseball mascots.
Weight: 138
Chipotle burritos this year: 10
Subscribers: 14,799
Days left of high school: 33
Bye, guys! See you tomorrow. <3
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Saturday, April 4, 2009
I'm a bitch, I'm a lover, I'm a child, I'm a [5AGays' baby's] mother
I am not a fan of team-building exercises. And by "not a fan," I mean "Oh my goodness, I cannot handle them." I aggravated a large portion of my camp co-workers today by both acting sassy towards the activity organizer and by leaving early. I know, I'm doing no favors to the whole all-about-me teenager stereotype that I so hate, but I don't think this is a phase. I think I'm maybe just a bitch.
Oh, and last night they played my Project for Awesome video to the entire staff. Talk about a puddle of awkward. I sort of bit my lip and hid my face in my friend Seers's lap and prayed that it would go away. As planned, I was swarmed by old people for the rest of the night/following day, all asking questions to which I either have no answer ("Where do you get your ideas?") or I have no interest in explaining, like How does youtube work? How do you make a video, and how does it get there? What's the Project for Awesome? Why is there a Christmas tree behind you? Do people watch them? Are you famous? Do you get money? Where does the money come from? How much money do you get? Do you do it for the money or for the rock and roll? And then the ones who watch my channel obsessively cup their hands over their mouths and shout quotes across the room from videos of mine that I haven't watched since I uploaded them, trying to prove how very hip and in sync they are with my life.
I understand that I subject myself to all of this. I understand that no one is making me expose myself to the world, and I understand that it's sort of the same as when celebrities complain about poparazzi after working for years to be noticed. But, like... if you watch my videos, do you really think I'm the kind of person who wants to be smiley and normal and have a long, pleasant conversation with you about smiley normal long pleasant things? All I do in my vlogs is complain and parody. You are, essentially, just fueling my Pissed at the Whole World fire.
Wow; I'm really making myself sound like a jerk. I don't mean to. I just-- like most things in my life-- would prefer my affirmation for deeds well done submitted in writing, anonymously over the internet. As much as I enjoy attention, it's so uncomfortable in situations like this one. Oh, and none of this whining applies to being recognized on the street by people who discovered me without the annoying aid of my mother or sister. You guys rock, and I'll have anything with you that you'd like, no matter how smiley, normal, long or pleasant.
In youtubely news, I recently posted this on fiveawesomegirls. We thought of the idea together on my bed in January, and I'm so relieved that it's finally been made. I think it's pretty hilarious. The comments, however, are creeping me out already. People are discussing sperm's ability to eat through glass and saying that I "look like I'm a freak." In regards to this last part, I can't really disagree, no matter which definition of "freak" you're describing. The answer to all of them is sort of yes.
Also, Katrina (walllofweird)'s VEDA is really simplistic and cute. Her eyes and hair are so big and pretty! She looks like a painting. I'm also watching Alex (nerimon), Adam (whataboutadam) and Lsnook. I can't begin to count how many BEDAs I'm reading. You're all incredible, by the way. I'm addicted to all of you. You know what else I'm addicted to?
Sexy: Paul McCartney looking up at you with his droopy sexball eyes while singing.
Unsexy: Kid Rock.
Weight: 137
Chipotle burritos this year: 10
Subscribers: 14, 751
Days left of high school: 33
Bye, guys! See you tomorrow. <3
Oh, and last night they played my Project for Awesome video to the entire staff. Talk about a puddle of awkward. I sort of bit my lip and hid my face in my friend Seers's lap and prayed that it would go away. As planned, I was swarmed by old people for the rest of the night/following day, all asking questions to which I either have no answer ("Where do you get your ideas?") or I have no interest in explaining, like How does youtube work? How do you make a video, and how does it get there? What's the Project for Awesome? Why is there a Christmas tree behind you? Do people watch them? Are you famous? Do you get money? Where does the money come from? How much money do you get? Do you do it for the money or for the rock and roll? And then the ones who watch my channel obsessively cup their hands over their mouths and shout quotes across the room from videos of mine that I haven't watched since I uploaded them, trying to prove how very hip and in sync they are with my life.
I understand that I subject myself to all of this. I understand that no one is making me expose myself to the world, and I understand that it's sort of the same as when celebrities complain about poparazzi after working for years to be noticed. But, like... if you watch my videos, do you really think I'm the kind of person who wants to be smiley and normal and have a long, pleasant conversation with you about smiley normal long pleasant things? All I do in my vlogs is complain and parody. You are, essentially, just fueling my Pissed at the Whole World fire.
Wow; I'm really making myself sound like a jerk. I don't mean to. I just-- like most things in my life-- would prefer my affirmation for deeds well done submitted in writing, anonymously over the internet. As much as I enjoy attention, it's so uncomfortable in situations like this one. Oh, and none of this whining applies to being recognized on the street by people who discovered me without the annoying aid of my mother or sister. You guys rock, and I'll have anything with you that you'd like, no matter how smiley, normal, long or pleasant.
In youtubely news, I recently posted this on fiveawesomegirls. We thought of the idea together on my bed in January, and I'm so relieved that it's finally been made. I think it's pretty hilarious. The comments, however, are creeping me out already. People are discussing sperm's ability to eat through glass and saying that I "look like I'm a freak." In regards to this last part, I can't really disagree, no matter which definition of "freak" you're describing. The answer to all of them is sort of yes.
Also, Katrina (walllofweird)'s VEDA is really simplistic and cute. Her eyes and hair are so big and pretty! She looks like a painting. I'm also watching Alex (nerimon), Adam (whataboutadam) and Lsnook. I can't begin to count how many BEDAs I'm reading. You're all incredible, by the way. I'm addicted to all of you. You know what else I'm addicted to?
Sexy: Paul McCartney looking up at you with his droopy sexball eyes while singing.
Unsexy: Kid Rock.
Weight: 137
Chipotle burritos this year: 10
Subscribers: 14, 751
Days left of high school: 33
Bye, guys! See you tomorrow. <3
Friday, April 3, 2009
I can't control (Will I lose my dignity?) my destinyyyy-yyy-euh
WOW. So you know how people think musicals are so unrealistic? Obviously nobody looks around knowingly and suddenly bursts into a profound song with lyrics about their current situation in life. Obviously nobody around them also knows the words and harmonies. Obviously nobody invents pretty descants and nobody slowly starts to hold hands with those around them, and obviously not everyone can sing.
Regardless, my ultimate dream has always been to live in a musical. And for about twenty minutes just now, I did.
We had auditions in my show choir today of small acapella groups (Except for the showoffs with the electric guitar! So not fair.) to perform famous TV theme songs in the middle of our big pops concert. My group did the theme to Nickelodeon's All That, swaying like morons and trying to inflect our voices to sound like we don't live in rural-suburban Ohio. The other two choirs have about six times as many singers as mine, so our director allotted the entire class period for auditioning, and we got done in fifteen minutes. Afterwards we sat around for a bit and the studious did their homework while the rest of us quoted Hannah Montana. We were all in our separate corners of the room, doing our separate corners of the room things, when one kid sat down at the piano and struck a chord.
I swear, it was hilarious-- exactly like High School Musical, everyone slowly turns their heads, and although in reality we were under unchanging florescent lights, I swear I felt the atmosphere dim. Yes. All of us-- my whole, entire choir-- spontaneously broke into "Seasons of Love." We sang it all the way through flawlessly, not a lyric missed, not a part unheard. I sang tenor at one point because it was underrepresented, but the gap was immediately filled in and I moved up. My friend Dina took the female solo and rocked that bitch, and I sang for Collins. It was ridiculous.
Oh, and if you think that's the whole story? No, um, as soon as it finished, our director sat down and sequed into Rent's "Finale B," which we've actually been rehearsing, but we somehow ended up wordlessly giving each other solos and taking the other parts. A couple of us did Roger's half of "Another Day" in the middle, which, like, has never been done in the show or recording, but just felt right.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I realize Rent isn't the most important thing in most people's lives, but it's so hugely responsible for raising me and teaching me about music and and and. I shall now proceed to less musical topics for the rest of you.
Tonight is the overnight training session for Royal Family Kids' Camp, a camp for children in the foster care system, at which I work every summer. RFKC is arguably the most valuable week of my year. It changes me so thoroughly every single time. I hardly ever cry-- and I mean, like, EVER-- and camp can make me bawl at the snap of a finger if I think about it enough. Buuuuuuut I've been through training a million times, and this really, really creepy/illiterate English teacher from my school is volunteering this year, so I'm basically about to have a slumber party with him. I'm not really looking forward to tonight. Bah, humbug.
In youtubely news, I posted a video on fiveawesomegirls yesterday and was really pleased by how many viewers are fans of "Le Petit Prince," and by how many of them have read it in French. It was rather difficult for me to read at some points my junior year, but yeah, I'm definitely glad I had the experience in its original language. Also, I have a new annoyance video written for yooooou guuuuys. :)
The other day I found a poem I wrote that I don't hate. I started cutting letters out of magazines to make it into a useless pretty collage thing yesterday, and wondered if you would hate me if I made it into a video? It would probably be about thirty seconds, which you'd be willing to forgive, but I'm worried it's too emo for hayleyghoover. Maybe I'll make it and post it on this blog exclusively, and if you like it, I'll put it on ze tubez. Speaking of ze tubez:
Sexy: Old, beat up cars in more than one piece, that are probably older than you are. They have character, and they show that you're not a snob and that you work for things.
Unsexy: Wifebeaters on the beach. Both wearing a wifebeater on the beach, and being a wife-beater... on a beach.
Weight: 137
Chipotle burritos this year: 10
Subscribers: 14, 708
Days left of high school: 33
Bye, guys! See you tomorrow. <3
Regardless, my ultimate dream has always been to live in a musical. And for about twenty minutes just now, I did.
We had auditions in my show choir today of small acapella groups (Except for the showoffs with the electric guitar! So not fair.) to perform famous TV theme songs in the middle of our big pops concert. My group did the theme to Nickelodeon's All That, swaying like morons and trying to inflect our voices to sound like we don't live in rural-suburban Ohio. The other two choirs have about six times as many singers as mine, so our director allotted the entire class period for auditioning, and we got done in fifteen minutes. Afterwards we sat around for a bit and the studious did their homework while the rest of us quoted Hannah Montana. We were all in our separate corners of the room, doing our separate corners of the room things, when one kid sat down at the piano and struck a chord.
I swear, it was hilarious-- exactly like High School Musical, everyone slowly turns their heads, and although in reality we were under unchanging florescent lights, I swear I felt the atmosphere dim. Yes. All of us-- my whole, entire choir-- spontaneously broke into "Seasons of Love." We sang it all the way through flawlessly, not a lyric missed, not a part unheard. I sang tenor at one point because it was underrepresented, but the gap was immediately filled in and I moved up. My friend Dina took the female solo and rocked that bitch, and I sang for Collins. It was ridiculous.
Oh, and if you think that's the whole story? No, um, as soon as it finished, our director sat down and sequed into Rent's "Finale B," which we've actually been rehearsing, but we somehow ended up wordlessly giving each other solos and taking the other parts. A couple of us did Roger's half of "Another Day" in the middle, which, like, has never been done in the show or recording, but just felt right.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I realize Rent isn't the most important thing in most people's lives, but it's so hugely responsible for raising me and teaching me about music and and and. I shall now proceed to less musical topics for the rest of you.
Tonight is the overnight training session for Royal Family Kids' Camp, a camp for children in the foster care system, at which I work every summer. RFKC is arguably the most valuable week of my year. It changes me so thoroughly every single time. I hardly ever cry-- and I mean, like, EVER-- and camp can make me bawl at the snap of a finger if I think about it enough. Buuuuuuut I've been through training a million times, and this really, really creepy/illiterate English teacher from my school is volunteering this year, so I'm basically about to have a slumber party with him. I'm not really looking forward to tonight. Bah, humbug.
In youtubely news, I posted a video on fiveawesomegirls yesterday and was really pleased by how many viewers are fans of "Le Petit Prince," and by how many of them have read it in French. It was rather difficult for me to read at some points my junior year, but yeah, I'm definitely glad I had the experience in its original language. Also, I have a new annoyance video written for yooooou guuuuys. :)
The other day I found a poem I wrote that I don't hate. I started cutting letters out of magazines to make it into a useless pretty collage thing yesterday, and wondered if you would hate me if I made it into a video? It would probably be about thirty seconds, which you'd be willing to forgive, but I'm worried it's too emo for hayleyghoover. Maybe I'll make it and post it on this blog exclusively, and if you like it, I'll put it on ze tubez. Speaking of ze tubez:
Sexy: Old, beat up cars in more than one piece, that are probably older than you are. They have character, and they show that you're not a snob and that you work for things.
Unsexy: Wifebeaters on the beach. Both wearing a wifebeater on the beach, and being a wife-beater... on a beach.
Weight: 137
Chipotle burritos this year: 10
Subscribers: 14, 708
Days left of high school: 33
Bye, guys! See you tomorrow. <3
Thursday, April 2, 2009
God, I really cannot do high school anymore.
God, I really cannot do high school anymore. I'm in my free period right now. I need to pee. You'd think this would be a perfect situation, it being free period. However, last time I peed in free period, the teacher assigned to patrol this room flipped out on me for leaving without permission and then proceeded to walk with me to every free period activity for the rest of the week. The last time I needed to pee in free period, I made a point of asking permission. She told me to do it some other time.
CALM THE HELL DOWN, PEOPLE. I can vote. I can buy a house. I can get married. I can smoke. I can go to prison. I can have sex with a 99-year-old man. I can run for some political offices. I can't rent a car, but I can buy and drive one. I am, according to the United States of America, an adult. And yet, because some aging woman needs to find somewhere she has control in order to feel worthy and special, I cannot empty my bladder when I want. HIGH SCHOOL IS THE MOST RIDICULOUS BIZARRO WORLD.
On a related note, I've found that I really don't like my AP Literature teacher. I love her, because we're obviously wired the same way if Hamlet gets both of us hot and bothered, but I don't like her. The other day she was doing what she does best, listening to my private conversation with my best friend outside her class, and it went something like this:
Hayley: God, I really cannot do high school anymore.
Jess: --
Teacher: --Yes, you can. All eighteen-year-olds wake up one day and start rejecting authority and thinking they're smarter than all their teachers and dragging through school. You'll get over it.
Don't you just adore when people who don't know you... tell you about yourself? On the contrary, ma'am, I woke up and started rejecting authority the moment I was born. I don't think I'm smarter than all my teachers, but I'm intelligent enough to know that they're people, and people are awful. And perhaps I'm not talking about being sick of school. Perhaps I'm talking about my depressive disorder with my best friend, and perhaps we don't need interjections from a cruel, jaded fifty-something-year-old woman.
Siiiigh. I'm just very sick of being treated like a subordinate by people who are just trying to validate themselves by taking out their own frustrations and self-analyses on others.
ANYWAY.
I'm going to introduce this blog to the fiveawesomegirls viewers today. I'm also going to admit to having a dailybooth and link to my twitter. Three things I've been putting off. I've been reading a ton of stuff lately, so I think I'm going to talk about that, too. I basically just want to get a video up in the event that Liane (lianeandthemusic) can't tomorrow, because I hate seeing only one 5AG video in a week.
Oh oh oh, and if you're reading this, please go leave some kind of friendly comment or nice message to Kayley (owlssayhooot). I don't care where you do it. She's having a bad couple days, and anything that can lighten her mood would be appreciated. Also, Leah (professorspork) is really stressed lately and Kristina (italktosnakes) is, as you probably know, having a hard time. Let's pull our own microcosmic Project for Awesome and let them know we love them.
Sexy: Bringing creative insights to class literature discussions. Defending your opinions, but being open to other points of view.
Unsexy: Faking laughing in hopes that everyone around you will see how fun you are.
OH OH OH OH OH OH OH. Another thing that's unsexy? Watching a beloved TV show writhe in pain as it's left to die. Last night's Scrubs featured only two of the main characters, and it really seems like they're trying to write Elliot off. Urrrrrgh.
Weight: 137
Chipotle burritos this year: 9
Subscribers: 14,674
Days left of high school: 34
Bye, guys. See you later tonight. <3
CALM THE HELL DOWN, PEOPLE. I can vote. I can buy a house. I can get married. I can smoke. I can go to prison. I can have sex with a 99-year-old man. I can run for some political offices. I can't rent a car, but I can buy and drive one. I am, according to the United States of America, an adult. And yet, because some aging woman needs to find somewhere she has control in order to feel worthy and special, I cannot empty my bladder when I want. HIGH SCHOOL IS THE MOST RIDICULOUS BIZARRO WORLD.
On a related note, I've found that I really don't like my AP Literature teacher. I love her, because we're obviously wired the same way if Hamlet gets both of us hot and bothered, but I don't like her. The other day she was doing what she does best, listening to my private conversation with my best friend outside her class, and it went something like this:
Hayley: God, I really cannot do high school anymore.
Jess: --
Teacher: --Yes, you can. All eighteen-year-olds wake up one day and start rejecting authority and thinking they're smarter than all their teachers and dragging through school. You'll get over it.
Don't you just adore when people who don't know you... tell you about yourself? On the contrary, ma'am, I woke up and started rejecting authority the moment I was born. I don't think I'm smarter than all my teachers, but I'm intelligent enough to know that they're people, and people are awful. And perhaps I'm not talking about being sick of school. Perhaps I'm talking about my depressive disorder with my best friend, and perhaps we don't need interjections from a cruel, jaded fifty-something-year-old woman.
Siiiigh. I'm just very sick of being treated like a subordinate by people who are just trying to validate themselves by taking out their own frustrations and self-analyses on others.
ANYWAY.
I'm going to introduce this blog to the fiveawesomegirls viewers today. I'm also going to admit to having a dailybooth and link to my twitter. Three things I've been putting off. I've been reading a ton of stuff lately, so I think I'm going to talk about that, too. I basically just want to get a video up in the event that Liane (lianeandthemusic) can't tomorrow, because I hate seeing only one 5AG video in a week.
Oh oh oh, and if you're reading this, please go leave some kind of friendly comment or nice message to Kayley (owlssayhooot). I don't care where you do it. She's having a bad couple days, and anything that can lighten her mood would be appreciated. Also, Leah (professorspork) is really stressed lately and Kristina (italktosnakes) is, as you probably know, having a hard time. Let's pull our own microcosmic Project for Awesome and let them know we love them.
Sexy: Bringing creative insights to class literature discussions. Defending your opinions, but being open to other points of view.
Unsexy: Faking laughing in hopes that everyone around you will see how fun you are.
OH OH OH OH OH OH OH. Another thing that's unsexy? Watching a beloved TV show writhe in pain as it's left to die. Last night's Scrubs featured only two of the main characters, and it really seems like they're trying to write Elliot off. Urrrrrgh.
Weight: 137
Chipotle burritos this year: 9
Subscribers: 14,674
Days left of high school: 34
Bye, guys. See you later tonight. <3
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Let's do this thing.
I've decided not to participate in BEDA after all.
...April Fools.
Meh. I am absolutely going to keep my blogging promise. (Blogmise? Ooh. Nice try, babe.) Today was just less-than-perfect, and all my exciting plans for this entry have been squashed by a combination of depression, need for sleep, and sharing a computer with my mother and father. I'll make up for it tomorrow, though. Perhaps I'll write a blog and post a fiveawesomegirls video.
On an unrelated note, here's a cute comment I received on my channel today from user SerenaMurison:
God, that just improved my mood so, so much. Anyway, I'm going to leave you with my new reoccurring bits that haven't reoccurred yet, but probably will.
Sexy: Eating something warm that's wrapped in foil while walking around. Maybe it's because I'm more attracted to food than to people. Maybe it just reminds me of Chipotle, and therefore, love.
Unsexy: Nearly every Starbucks cup. I have moral issues with America's insatiable need to look bored/busy/tired to show how little time they have to talk to anybody else. I get it; you're better than I am. I hope you realize you just spent six dollars on beans and water.
Weight: 138
Chipotle burritos this year: 9
Subscribers: 14, 659
Bye, guys. See you tomorrow! <3
...April Fools.
Meh. I am absolutely going to keep my blogging promise. (Blogmise? Ooh. Nice try, babe.) Today was just less-than-perfect, and all my exciting plans for this entry have been squashed by a combination of depression, need for sleep, and sharing a computer with my mother and father. I'll make up for it tomorrow, though. Perhaps I'll write a blog and post a fiveawesomegirls video.
On an unrelated note, here's a cute comment I received on my channel today from user SerenaMurison:
"Apparently I'm not afraid to admit that I'm jealous of your existence, considering this sentence. P.S. Last semester I convinced a total of fourteen chemistry students to watch your videos. It was an accomplishment to say the least. You're a bundle of wits and it's simply lovely."
God, that just improved my mood so, so much. Anyway, I'm going to leave you with my new reoccurring bits that haven't reoccurred yet, but probably will.
Sexy: Eating something warm that's wrapped in foil while walking around. Maybe it's because I'm more attracted to food than to people. Maybe it just reminds me of Chipotle, and therefore, love.
Unsexy: Nearly every Starbucks cup. I have moral issues with America's insatiable need to look bored/busy/tired to show how little time they have to talk to anybody else. I get it; you're better than I am. I hope you realize you just spent six dollars on beans and water.
Weight: 138
Chipotle burritos this year: 9
Subscribers: 14, 659
Bye, guys. See you tomorrow! <3
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Internet relationships and things that are[n't] sexy
Let's talk about sex, baby.
No, let's really not. But let's talk about meeting boys over the internet.
There was a time-- probably about two years ago, to be honest-- when I would have LOL'd in the faces of people who believed you could fall in love with someone without ever being in the same room as them. The idea of making relationships online was a fairly new concept to me. I was still too scared to give my close livejournal friend my phone number. The Harry Potter fandom, although I desperately longed to be a part of it, went over my head. And the thought of being involved with someone in another state or even another country? Seriously. You cannot even know someone you met on the internet.
And then I fell deeply, hopelessly in love with someone I met on the internet.
There's something about the thrill of a good taboo. You can watch your video responses; that's cool. But you can't make out with them. (What's "them?" The video response itself, or the person responding? Ambiguity is hilarious!) But yeah, the very fact that it's weird is often enough incentive to try it out. And I'm big on weird.
Siiiiiiigh. Yeah, there was no point to this other than that I'm premenstrual and crazy and whiny and miss my exboyfriend.
MOVING RIGHT ALONG. Here's a spontaneous list.
Things that are sexy:
--Jason Mraz, past, present and future.
--Spring Awakening.... (That wasn't an iffy ellipsis; think of it like lots of periods to show how very serious I am.)
--Nerd boys! Especially with thick-framed glasses.
--Dr. Cox and Jordan. Scrubssss.
--Oh, and (I think I just like embarrassing myself?) this, too.
--Guhhhh. Slap me across the face, but... Twilight.
--Um... and, um... this.
--BO BURNHAM. (boburnham)
--Johnny Depp in every role he's ever played.
--Moulin flipping Rouge.
--The Notebook. Cliche, but come on.
--I'm going to say it. People are going to flip out on me, but I'm going to say it. SMOKING.
--Happily married famous couples.
--"As Long As You're Mine" from Wicked.
--"As Long As You're Mine" performed by a happily married famous couple.
--Brad Paisley, who's also half of a happily married famous couple.
--Pam and Jim from The Office.
--Guys who play World of Warcraft. I don't. Don't know anything about it. But it's hot.
--YouTubers.
Things that are not sexy:
--Porn.
--Paris Hilton. Particularly, Paris Hilton in porn.
--Orlando Bloom. Ever, really.
--Nearly every tramp stamp.
--White athletic shoes.
--Boy hair products of any kind. Even, like, conditioner.
--Axe body spray. Or at least I've yet to smell it done well.
--Shirts that don't fit.
--People who eat reasonable portions.
--Football. Just does nothing for me.
I think I'll add more un/sexy things to future blogs when they come to mind, a la communitychannel's ugly- and attractive-word-of-the-video. If anyone's reading this, what unconventional things turn you on? What conventional things turn you off?
Ummmmmm this blog has no continuity whatsoever and is kind of frightening. Oh well! See you tomorrow. 14,642 subscribers.
Monday, March 30, 2009
BEDA and the Surcol
I think I'm going to participate in Maureen Johnson's "Blog Every Day April" activity. Well. A hybrid of her blogging game and Alex (nerimon)'s vlogging game. I must blog every day that I do not vlog. Doubles are allowed if I'm bored.
Ha. As if I'm not terrified of vlogging.
You know how some people can just turn on their webcams and beauty and glory flows effortlessly from their beautiful and glorious faces? I'm thinking missxrojas, nerimon, lianeandthemusic, whataboutadam, communitychannel... like, people who can pull off an unscripted video blog. And then there are the rest of us. John and Hank (vlogbrothers)'s videos don't work without the hyperactive jump-cutting. Meekakitty's charm comes from her spastic editing style. Some of us don't have the constitution to be spontaneously articulate.
Fiveawesomegirls videos make me feel awkward to this day. I feel like I have to smile a ridiculous amount to keep the energy flowing, or retake a sentence so you can't see the bags under my eyes, or find somewhere interesting to sit to make up for my lack of interesting content. I always laugh when I get a comment like "You're so comfortable in front of the camera!" because, oh my God, I am not. I'm comfortable on the set of hayleyghoover, with ultimate control over each six-second clip, where I can count on the lighting and can always add music to parts that feel flat. Cameras freak me out. They're so brutally honest.
Anyway, maybe this is pointless. If practice makes perfect in the world of vlogging and I haven't mastered it yet after a whole year of 5AG, I'm probably doomed. And people HATE when I vlog on my personal channel. But... I'm going to try. The vlogs I make will be posted on my Secret Uninteresting Response Channel of Lame (my "surcol," if you will) and if you want to see them, you'll have to find them yourself.
HA!
Ha. As if I'm not terrified of vlogging.
You know how some people can just turn on their webcams and beauty and glory flows effortlessly from their beautiful and glorious faces? I'm thinking missxrojas, nerimon, lianeandthemusic, whataboutadam, communitychannel... like, people who can pull off an unscripted video blog. And then there are the rest of us. John and Hank (vlogbrothers)'s videos don't work without the hyperactive jump-cutting. Meekakitty's charm comes from her spastic editing style. Some of us don't have the constitution to be spontaneously articulate.
Fiveawesomegirls videos make me feel awkward to this day. I feel like I have to smile a ridiculous amount to keep the energy flowing, or retake a sentence so you can't see the bags under my eyes, or find somewhere interesting to sit to make up for my lack of interesting content. I always laugh when I get a comment like "You're so comfortable in front of the camera!" because, oh my God, I am not. I'm comfortable on the set of hayleyghoover, with ultimate control over each six-second clip, where I can count on the lighting and can always add music to parts that feel flat. Cameras freak me out. They're so brutally honest.
Anyway, maybe this is pointless. If practice makes perfect in the world of vlogging and I haven't mastered it yet after a whole year of 5AG, I'm probably doomed. And people HATE when I vlog on my personal channel. But... I'm going to try. The vlogs I make will be posted on my Secret Uninteresting Response Channel of Lame (my "surcol," if you will) and if you want to see them, you'll have to find them yourself.
HA!
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