Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Novelistic Coincidences

I didn't have the time to read over yesterday's entry before I posted it, but I knew it was little more than a disjointed attempt to get something-- anything-- up and online. None of its content was particularly witty or thought-provoking. There was scarcely any continuity from paragraph to paragraph, and none of it needed to be said, anyway. So why do I bother? Why do I write this blog?

The obvious short answer, Because I'm an Attention Whore, doesn't quite cut it, because there are all kinds of quicker and more efficient ways to make people listen to you. Just ask Fred and Heidi Montag. No, it's something beyond that. The truth is, I write about my inane today-to-day life because I operate under the delusion that I am a character in a novel.

I'm not alone in this problem-- I think it plagues a lot of book nerds. We're so used to getting wrapped up in a fictional world, searching for foreshadowing and symbolism, and coming out of it feeling like we've Learned Something. I think I blog because it gives me the chance to pretend like every day has a denouement. I get to pretend my life has meaning that, when properly analyzed, could be beneficial to somebody else... instead of the reality of the situation, which is the fact that nobody cares.

Hahaha. Don't worry, guys-- I'm pretty much just inventing angst. I have a cold, which sucks, and this week seems to be dragging on forever, which is aggravating, but I have very little to complain about. My classes are all as good as they could be. I have free time and good friends and am head-over-heels. My only complaint is that, unfortunately, I am real. And not a book.

Anyway, I'm thinking about all this stuff in the first place because the number of novel-like coincidences I encounter on a weekly basis are getting absurd. In class today, I asked some girl next to me, "What's Alicia Silverstone been doing for the last decade? I feel like she disappeared." An hour later, and guess who had a cameo on Oprah? ALICIA SILVERSTONE. Honestly, have you heard a peep from her since her crappy canceled Fox show? No. For you hardcore Hayleylujah Chrous followers, I think this is another Michael Jackson/John Hughes type of deal. Let's hope my "psychic powers" fail me this time and Alicia doesn't join the club and spontaneously drop dead.

A huger coincidence: I was zoned out all day, thinking about my poor, neglected novel. When I finally got back to my room and opened my computer, I stared at the blank screen for a full minute before typing, "I need a directional sign. I suck at this." With a sigh, I pulled my hand away from hovering over the keys, so I could clumsily pick up my ringing phone from its spot on my bookshelf. I hit the side of the already wobbly shelf with the back of my hand (which hurt!), and the impact sent a flimsy paperback flying onto the floor. Halfheartedly, I picked up Robert's Rules of Writing by Robert Masello-- the only book of writing advice I've ever loved and trusted-- and flipped to a random page.

The page, titled "Keep the Faith" (yes, Leah!), advised me to stop pretending to write a book and just write a freaking book. So... I am. Or am trying, at least. Isn't life funny sometimes?

Sexy: Whataboutadam. Also, leaving cryptic messages of advice for whataboutadam in the "sexy" section of your blog. LOOK IN THE MURR AND GO FOR THE SNOOKI GOLD, ADAM.
Unsexy: Distance. Blah.

Chipotle burritos this year: 3
Subscribers: 24,000 on the dot!
Nail color: "I'm Not Really a Waitress," OPI


to_thine_own_self said...

I think you're right about the book-readers-tend-to-think-they're-characters-in-a-novel-thing. Actually, I know you're very right.
Although I think you're wrong on one point:
There are people who care about your life and what goes on in it. That's why you have Twitter followers, why you have youtube subscribers, and why you have blog readers. We all care. I hope that makes your bit of angst go away =]
Also, you don't have to pretend that your life, "when properly analyzed, could be beneficial to somebody else", because it is.
By reading about your life, the people who read your blog realize that they (we) are not alone in their HP obsession, or that they aren't the only ones who are obsessed with nail polish, or any of the number of things relatable about you.
I just thought you should know that, Hayley, and I hope that your cold goes away. And fast.


ThePeterIs said...

"My only complaint is that, unfortunately, I am real. And not a book."

Funny, that's also my only complaint with you.

ClassicFilmFan said...

Haha yes, I feel like a character in a novel from time to time as well!

One day, when I felt kind of stuck at one point/place in my life, I looked out of a window and saw pedestrians quickly crossing the streets, cars driving to far away places.. and I was like: "If I were a character in a book right now, this would be a SYMBOLIC paragraph showing the reader how everybody - except me - moves on XD.

Anyhoo, I really do agree with the previous poster: reading blogs like these makes that one never feels alone (:

Mister Eloquent said...

Haley, I agree with you on the point of thinking your in the novel. Whenever I am bored during school, I usually sympathize it in a great way of words. Usually in gym... though, sometimes writing the book is way more fun than being the character. Maybe in ten years from now this book will be on the shelf. "I am a Luna in a world full of Paris's and Heidi's. By Hayley Hoover" - Faye

Holly said...

This makes so much sense to me. That is exactly how I feel about recording day to day activities and memories.

Also, similar to your book coincidence, once I was looking through used books in a store and really wanted to buy a book called "365 ways to live a simple life", and it fell open on the page "resist impulse buying". I took it as a sign not to buy the book when I was already broke :) haha

Caroline said...

I narrate my life in my head as if I'm the main character. Is that what you do? Or is it just me...? It'd be nice to know I'm not the only one.

Adam said...

A. I hate that you love Whataboutadam so much. Because whenever you compliment him I think you're talking about me but you never are.

B. I've been having that coincidence thing lately, too. My friend and I call it synchronicity. We keep discussing things that happen, or doing the same things. We talked about Howard Zinn today out of nowhere and it turns out he died today. It's weird and has been happening for like a week.

roflcoptyler said...

Oh mah gawd.
Your paragraph about finding foreshadows and symbolism made me think about my honors English teacher this year. She finds so many literary techniques in these stories we're reading, it's not even funny :O

Dana said...

I think is can spread to fiction lovers in general. I often think about my life as a book, movie, or television show.

Imagine life as a sitcom. All our problems would be solved in 22 minutes plus commercials! And each conflict would be stand alone and our life would lack a unifying thread!

In all seriousness, though, life as a book character or a movie character appeals to the idealist in me. I idealize others to the point where they are like book characters, so doesn't it make sense for me to just fit in there and be the character it centralizes about?

Also, I don't know if anyone else does this, but I put symbolism into my clothes.

Nokorola said...

I'm glad to see the Chipotle count rise Hayley...

but on a less strange Hayley-eating-stuff-is-something-I-look-forward-to topic, life is funny. I hope you don't kill Silverstone, she's getting ready to make a comeback I just know it.

Have a dandy Thursday Hayley!

Arletta said...

When my niece died last month, I thought I was in a book. There was foreshadowing and everything.
Tuesday night, my Dad told us that Sarah was sick and was being flown to a better hospital a few hours drive away. I thought quite pessimistically that she would die. I hoped with all my heart that she wouldn't.
The next morning, I got on Facebook (I had time to kill before class) and my sister, her mom, had actually gotten a Facebook and left a comment on another of our sister's videos with Sarah in it. She thanked her for capturing the memory for her before she died. I went to school knowing that something was wrong; she was either already dead, or really close.
When I got home, I was called into my dad's room and before I even saw him I knew that my thoughts were unfortunately on the right path. Sarah died. Her brain activity died first, then on Thursday after her four brothers said goodbye, she breathed her last breath. I quietly walked into my room, thinking I was a character in a book. I wanted to just close the book and continue with my normal life, but I couldn't. She was four.
I, just like you, am unfortunately alive. I am not some figment of an author's imagination.
Oh how simple life would be if I were.

Ida said...

I've just recently noticed how big of an influence you've had on me. Most importantly: I read books again! I had a period a few years ago where I maybe read 2-3 books per year,and usually books I had to read, through school etc. But now I'm back on the wagon and read... let's just say a LOT more, willingly.
If it wasn't for you I wouldn't love books as much as I do, started loving musical theater (and Glee!), I would still not know of Idina Menzel or Kristin Chenoweth, I wouldn't have read Paper Towns, or loved Harry Potter the way I do now.
So thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

Morgan said...

I totally narrate my life like it's much more monumental in my brain! it's hilarious, because I've been doing since I was really young. ah.
For the record, I check your blog every day and even when it is insignificant in content I get some sort of weird satisfaction from seeing a new post and reading it. Also, you give me renewals in the hope that college is worth the horrors of high school. haha, ily. :]

Chrystie said...

I think you're right about the whole thing where people who read books tend to think of their life as a book.

I'm glad to see that others narrate in their head too! I've never met anyone who did this besides me. Or at least they never admitted it!

CRUNKRacoon said...

I'm actually sort of glad you're real. How horrible would it be if it turned out you were some persona created by a novelist.

If it weren't for Youtube...I'd be having doubts by now...

kira902k said...

Haha you really do seem able to control celebrities with your supermegaawesomeandkindoffatallyhorrible psychic skills. :D

And that coincidence with the book was amazing.

I definitely operate under the illusion that I am in a book as well, you're not alone.

Also, do you have a PO Box? I'm sending Kristina a letter and I'd love to send you one as well. :)


Katrina said...

omg.. i wanna watch clueless now. LOVE ALICIA SO MUCH.

Tamar N said...

I'm sooooo happy to know that I'm not the only one who secretly pretends that they live in a novel... Thank God. I always look at random things like a falling leaf and try to
make it a metaphor for something in my life.
And you mentioning Alicia Silverstone TOTALLY made me want to rewatch Clueless (for the millionth time lol). I hope I'm not the only one for that one, too XD.

The Pickled Panda said...

Wow, so you mean I'm not the only one who is constantly envisioning herself being the main character in a novel? Do you also, instead of talking with someone you know/meet/see, envision what conversation you could be having with them/ i do this all of the time, constantly going over different conversational topics we could cover, what I would say, how they would respond, etc. I do this for so long that I miss the opportunity to have a real life conversation. But I think that would attribute more to the writer in me versus the person who thinks she is trapped in a novel.

Katie said...

You know you're a book nerd when I have to look up definitions of words you use in your blog. Sheesh, this shouldn't be so much effort for me!! Just kidding. I like learning new things.

Also, yay for being a hxc Hayleylujah Chorus follower and getting references to old topics.

Also also, BOO for Heidi Montag! I'm trying to think of some way you can use your psychic powers to spontaneously end her life but I think that'll be up to you. Please succeed.

Catherine said...

Hardcore Hayleylujah Chorus followers FTW! Does that make us the HHC? I feel like the level of your blogworthiness has reached the level where you can give your readers as a whole one collective name. I challenge you to come up with a good name for us. That is your homework.

Also, I think people in general tend to think their life is one big story. They search for meaning in seemingly mundane things. (This is me trying to sound like I know what I'm talking about.)

Nice to hear from you two days in a row!

Leah said...

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. You just made my night, darling.

Sarah said...

I totally have moments when I look at myself/that instance and think how I could be a character in a book or movie. Those moments are magical.

That being said, I really struggle with the mundane moments. I think because everything in a book is included purposefully, I have difficulty accepting that the meaningless, "filler" times in my life do need to be happening (e.g. hours spent studying to eventually get my degree!). I think it's still good practice to look at your day and find meaning in the mundane, and to think about the bigger connections. Being present in your life is what it's all about - for me anyways.

Anyways, look how many people wrote that they identified with what you said! I think we do care, partly because we are interested in you/your life, and partly because having someone articulate the thoughts that we feel too helps us to feel connected.

Sorry this is so long and rambly ... I don't make sense when I'm tired!

wanna be a daytrader said...

Hayley, I was thinking...

OH wait, someones at the door.

K, I'm back, and for a second there you actually thought someone was at the door.....NOW THAT'S WRITING!

Ah,haha, I just live in a simpler World. The greenish, purplish one over there by that errrrr...
I should have just stuck with just saying hi today.

See ya Hayley

Anonymous said...

Good writing advice if I ever heard it.

Scott said...

I love it when life makes sense like that.

And on the subject of living life like you're in a book, analyzing, pondering figuring out direction - That's hardly a bad thing. That's just being self-aware, which is a powerful, powerful tool to have.

And please, please don't kill anyone else with your mind. Fell better!

jessmcfadden said...

You are, like, the most convincing imaginary friend ever. I had my mom read this and she said, "Honeydear your writing is getting so much better!"

Loves it. Love you.

jessmcfadden said...

P.S. I like these comments! Good blog readers.

traderbob11 said...


God Bless

usernamessuckfully said...

Haley stop whinging and write ur freaking book haha btw alicia was in the movie stormbreaker which had that eragon dude in it

barefootfiona said...

Hayley! Huger? Is that really a book-nerd-word?

I do fell the same about blogging, but I find that my life is in fact So dull that nothing happens. I have basically no friends and those that I do have live hours away from me because we go to a school with a wide catchement area. I have no extra-curriculars. And I'm stressed from school. And the stuff that I get excited about is basically too nerdy for even most nerds to be interested in - grammar is predominant.

My whole existence is dangling on the fact that I will go to University in Autumn, and life will begin. The hallowed, the long-awaited, the hopefully not underwhelming life.

Anonymous said...

Hayley, you just explained my life! That's one the reason why I write a diary, I guess it makes me feel like Jessica Darling. And if it's in a book it must be part of something bigger, right?


Bahsheep said...

Adam (:

HeyLukey said...

iv never been much of a writer but i have an idea and i have recently had a similar experience, but in the form of a convosation with my mum. she just said to me if you have the idea make it happen and as i have alot of free time atm i have actually taken the time to sit down and write. reading your blog and various other blogs tho helps me get in to the mood to write, and knowing that there are others that also walk in to that wall of writers block that i do helps me get through it.

Margaret said...

Yep. Distance. *sigh*

Samantha said...

Did your crazy psychic powers kill JD Salinger?

Tanairi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Pippa said...

I agree with you about blogging for delusional book-lovers (not that I'm calling you delusional...I'm delusional but you're much more sane than I). I blog partly because I just need to write and partly because I do imagine my life as a novel, a bad novel but still.

On a sadder note, J. D. Salinger died today. I remember reading on your blog that you were a fan. He was my favorite author and I've read every short story he's ever written. I hope you'll read one of his stories today in honor of his literary genius.

Hayley_leesha666 said...

i am admitting to the fact that i legitamatly got excited when i realised i qualified for a hardcore follower.. the fact i got so excited makes me either extremely lame.. or extremely cool.. not to sure. Anywhodyhay, i just caught up on the last few entries i had missed.. :) glad to see your blogging again! :)

Emma said...

I completely agree with wanting to be in a book. But I think it stretches to more people than book nerds. It's a way of finding meaning in life amidst the suffering.

I am consistently amazed by the signs in life too, and I find it crazy that JD Salinger died today after you wrote this. I think it's a writers' job to take the signs and make them meaningful in a way that is nonexistent in reality. Good luck, I'll be rooting for you.

Anonymous said...

god hayley i love your blog so much

Anonymous said...

I totally wouldn't be surprised if Adam was "The Situation." Just saying.

Anonymous said...

...just kidding

Kaedtiann said...

Haha, @Jess.

Like everyone else, though, I totally agree about the character thing. I don't even blog, but I kind of write my life in my head sometimes (that sounds a lot cooler/weirder than it is), because I like to make it all neat, and pretend it has some kind of plot, structure, or at least witty narration.

Belen said...

I have to say I'm glad you aren't a character in a book, its nice that such a fun, nerdy person that I can relate to actually exists.

Its good to know you're not another Lonelygirl15 or something like that.

Maya said...

I like this post... your bit about wanting to be a character in a novel is pretty spot on, considering that is basically the entire point of keeping this sort of public-journal-blog. I keep a blog, too, but since it has a specific theme and consistent subject matter, it's a little different than what you've got goin' on over here.
I generally don't comment on here, but I feel compelled to because it is such an interesting observation!

I would say that as a longtime yt subscriber (think before 5AG) and a reader of this blog since its conception, that I very much think of you as a character in a sort of multi-media, real-time book. I see the mostly-scripted, well-edited version of your life 99% of the time, and yet that 1% and (perhaps that I've been "with you" for so long) makes it so that I do care, on some level, what is going on in your life.
Awaiting your next video or blog post is like waiting for the next installment of the series to come out, except knowing its "real" gives it more weight somehow.
What I mean to say is, don't feel bad that people don't "really care" what goes on in your life (whatever that means), because honestly, that is how it should be! Strangers who are really and actually affected emotionally by your day-to-day activities and emotions are called, well... stalkers.

Anyway, that was probably more of my opinion than you needed, but this post inspired a lot of internal discussion, so please excuse my verbal vomit!

Anonymous said...

That is my mom's favourite colour of nail polish. She thinks the name is hilarious.

Anonymous said...

I am so excited you are back to blogging (and have been for a while)! This is my first comment on your blog and unfortunately, it is somewhat self-indulgent. I have a random question for you and it sorta pertains to my current situation...If someone told you that you would not be able to see your boyfriend in person until about a year from now, would you continue to skype with (and date) him? keep on bloggin' girl!

Kristina said...

Hayley can I just say one thing? I love your new banner! Yay. Can you tell us who drew it and why it is so freaking awesome? Also I like the name of your nail polish. I think nail polish and paint color names are kind of beautiful in their own right. My nail polis is called "Made you blush" by Sally Hanson. Di you know there are some science nerds who think we should just specify colors by their wavelength? Lame!

Brianna said...

Oh man, I leave the internet for a while and when I come back and finally read your blog again you're all full of angst. Ok so maybe not that much has changed over the past 5 months. :) I have missed reading your blog, so I'm glad you've kept it up.

P.S. I creepily spent Thursday watching most of your old videos and all of your new ones and I decided to create my own youtube account. Finally. So thanks for that too.

Clara said...

I'm a hardcore reader? whhaaatt? when did this happen? why did no one tell me?

dinahrose said...

I stumbled across 5AG through vlogbrothers a few months ago. From there I subscribed to your personal channel. And now this.
It's pretty weird when you feel a connection to someone that you DON'T KNOW. But that's why I've now subscribed to your blog aswell. Also, for purely selfish inspirational reasons.
Thanks Hayley.

Patientes said...

Okay. I swear I haven't been stalking you, at least not for the last couple months.

But weirdly enough, I have a horrible cold as well, and I wander around narrating my life to myself as if it's a novel.

And doing anything at all with a cold is hard. Because you know what? Colds want one thing. Okay maybe two. Your SOUL, and sleep. Nothing but sleep. Can't make a video, can't write, can't do anything but sleep! For a week!

(I've rambled on... and it's only like... two percent related to your post. I am an idiot. sigh.)

-Patientes (yes, random crazy fangirl video making girl.)

Eff said...

I love your new banner! It is new is it? Or am I just oblivious... No, it must be new.
And I love the "Hey Hayley" video:)

Hannah Alaizabeth said...

I love that
A. You think youre a character in a novel too...
B. that youre an Attention Whore
C. that you read Robert's Rules of Writing, and
D. that you are currently writing a novel.

I like that
E. you have psychic powers that predict celebrity appearances [in a way]
F. books also fall on you from above,
G. All of the above also apply to me.

I hate that
H. you havent eaten more than 5 burritos this year,
I. the nail polish "Mad Hatter" hasnt appeared yet on your list of "currently wearing" colors.
J. you didn't call your high school idol and sing them a hit 90's song spur of the moment.
K. All of the above apply to me.


Robernay said...

I really needed the advice about writing. I guess I'll need to go out and buy a copy of Robert's Rules of Writing and hire poor child to drop it on my head while I am walking So I can also get the advice

Morgan said...

Hayley, if you don't give us at least SOME happyhappy gush stories about your Mike and Hayley weekend, I think I can speak for most of us when I say...Just please do. :)

I love you.

Dinah said...

Alright, I've successfully caught up on all your blog entries, leaving me at this one. PHEW!

I agree with commenter Emma who said that "the job of a writer is to take the signs and make them meaningful in a way that is nonexistent in reality."

I think that's what I LOVE about books and struggle to find sometimes in life-- the connections, or signs. It's like, everything that happens to you or that you observe has the potential to mean something but unless you write it doesn't.

I'm loving your blog to death over here Hayley.

Also, I found something that I think might inspire you to keep doing this blog. One of my old professors collected his diary entries from 1997-1999 and he's put them up on a webiste* for people to view. And while that is cool in and of itself it turns out the site drew the interest of some publishers and now he's getting it published in the fall! Neat huh?
So, you never know.
Keep writing.

*This is his website if you want to read some beautiful little snapshots of life.

Irissel said...

Hey Hayley! I just discovered you on youtube a while ago and then found out you have a blog and so I've been reading my way through it instead of reading for my English class tomorrow. Anyway, in light of this particular post I was wondering how felt about this quote:
"Literary experience heals the wound, without undermining the privilage, of individuality. There are mass emotions which heal the wound; but they destroy the privilege. In them, our separate selves are pooled and we sink back into sub-individuality. But in reading great literature I become a thousand men and yet remain myself. Like a night sky in the Greek poem, I see with a myriad eyes, but it is still I who see. Here, as in worship, in love, in moral action, and in knowing, I transcend myself; and am never more myself than when I do." - C. S. Lewis

Irissel said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
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Baltimore Ravens jerseys. I guess we just never had the whole deal done when the [JGR] press release went out. All we were doing was offering help. We agreed that Mark was driving at Martinsville, and we were working through what it looked like after that. Before we got it all figured out, a press release was put out. I guess it said Mark would drive it until Denny was better, and that was just not what we agreed to yet.One of the tough things for Hamlin and his team over the next six weeks is going to be finding capable replacements. A team that is as good as Hamlin's is going to want to find drivers that can fill in and potentially be successful
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