I didn't have the time to read over yesterday's entry before I posted it, but I knew it was little more than a disjointed attempt to get something-- anything-- up and online. None of its content was particularly witty or thought-provoking. There was scarcely any continuity from paragraph to paragraph, and none of it needed to be said, anyway. So why do I bother? Why do I write this blog?
The obvious short answer, Because I'm an Attention Whore, doesn't quite cut it, because there are all kinds of quicker and more efficient ways to make people listen to you. Just ask Fred and Heidi Montag. No, it's something beyond that. The truth is, I write about my inane today-to-day life because I operate under the delusion that I am a character in a novel.
I'm not alone in this problem-- I think it plagues a lot of book nerds. We're so used to getting wrapped up in a fictional world, searching for foreshadowing and symbolism, and coming out of it feeling like we've Learned Something. I think I blog because it gives me the chance to pretend like every day has a denouement. I get to pretend my life has meaning that, when properly analyzed, could be beneficial to somebody else... instead of the reality of the situation, which is the fact that nobody cares.
Hahaha. Don't worry, guys-- I'm pretty much just inventing angst. I have a cold, which sucks, and this week seems to be dragging on forever, which is aggravating, but I have very little to complain about. My classes are all as good as they could be. I have free time and good friends and am head-over-heels. My only complaint is that, unfortunately, I am real. And not a book.
Anyway, I'm thinking about all this stuff in the first place because the number of novel-like coincidences I encounter on a weekly basis are getting absurd. In class today, I asked some girl next to me, "What's Alicia Silverstone been doing for the last decade? I feel like she disappeared." An hour later, and guess who had a cameo on Oprah? ALICIA SILVERSTONE. Honestly, have you heard a peep from her since her crappy canceled Fox show? No. For you hardcore Hayleylujah Chrous followers, I think this is another Michael Jackson/John Hughes type of deal. Let's hope my "psychic powers" fail me this time and Alicia doesn't join the club and spontaneously drop dead.
A huger coincidence: I was zoned out all day, thinking about my poor, neglected novel. When I finally got back to my room and opened my computer, I stared at the blank screen for a full minute before typing, "I need a directional sign. I suck at this." With a sigh, I pulled my hand away from hovering over the keys, so I could clumsily pick up my ringing phone from its spot on my bookshelf. I hit the side of the already wobbly shelf with the back of my hand (which hurt!), and the impact sent a flimsy paperback flying onto the floor. Halfheartedly, I picked up Robert's Rules of Writing by Robert Masello-- the only book of writing advice I've ever loved and trusted-- and flipped to a random page.
The page, titled "Keep the Faith" (yes, Leah!), advised me to stop pretending to write a book and just write a freaking book. So... I am. Or am trying, at least. Isn't life funny sometimes?
Sexy: Whataboutadam. Also, leaving cryptic messages of advice for whataboutadam in the "sexy" section of your blog. LOOK IN THE MURR AND GO FOR THE SNOOKI GOLD, ADAM.
Unsexy: Distance. Blah.
Chipotle burritos this year: 3
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Nail color: "I'm Not Really a Waitress," OPI