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Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Fourteen-Year-Olds and Love

Even though I've been scribbling short stories and creating characters in my head since I could hold a crayon, I kind of consider the beginning of my "real" writing to be when I started keeping a journal in middle school. It wasn't unlike this blog, except that Jess and my first ever Internet friend, Susie, were the only people allowed to read it*. I used it to document every encounter I had with my first (mostly unrequited) passionate "likelike" interest, picking apart his words until they no longer contained any meaning whatsoever, then would write volumes about how frustrated and scorned I was. The practice was melodramatic at worst, invigorating at best-- even when the cheesy writing seemed worthy of a canceled daytime soap opera, I always came away from those journal entries feeling energized and empowered. I was able to trap all my angst into a page. I could come back and observe my old feelings from afar, but they were permanently put away where they couldn't torment me anymore. It was all very emo-- just like this paragraph explaining it-- but writing gave me a way to deal with my emoness then, and has also provided me with the opportunity to still feel connected to my fourteen-year-old self to this day. She was tempestuous and tightly-wound, but she meant well. And she's who I want to write books for.

Fourteen-Year-Old Hayley didn't feel like a lot of people understood her, but I think, at nineteen, that I still get it. Anyway, I'm telling you this in an attempt to clear up any inquiries as to why I so frequently harp on eighth grade. I realize that most of my readers and youtube subscribers are around that same age, and I care more about their opinions than anybody else's. That being said, fourteen-year-old girls, there's one important message that I need to drive home before I can continue with the point of this blog post.

Boys do not lead to happiness. Some people can spend eternity with their high school sweethearts, but most people don't find true love before they're fully-formed, independent individuals. I've had plenty of miserable experiences with boys in the past, because neither of us were emotionally ready for healthy relationships yet. I'm not the same person I was a year ago, and I'll probably be a lot different next February, because I'm young, too. And wouldn't it suck if you met the perfect person now and ended up scaring him away, because you haven't had enough practice?

I truly understand how lonely you are, and I understand how appealing it is to dream that, tomorrow, a boy will appear who completely adores and appreciates you. Someday that will really happen, but both parties have to be ready. And, truth be told, you're probably close to being ready, but boys mature slowly, so he isn't. Until then, try to be patient, and don't allow your feelings to be hurt if you're not asked to a dance or nobody gives you a Valentine. The girls carrying boxes of chocolate around in two weeks will probably feel just as awkward as you do.

So remember that, okay? I've been hesitant to write this necessary post because I was worried that you guys would conclude that my overall happiness with life is due to my new relationship, when really, the fact that this relationship works is due to the fact that I've become a happy person. It sounds lame and preachy, but I can now confirm that you'll never share true love until you love yourself. I should know.**

THAT being said, I've been modest and reserved and cautious and all that other ladylike crap long enough. Without exaggeration, without naivety, without doubt... I'm in love. And, despite what I would have told you a month ago, I've never been in love with anyone else. I've felt deeply about people before, but this oxymoronic feeling of unsettling comfort is totally unique, totally baffling, and totally consuming. Gag-worthy cliches that used to make me roll my eyes keep escaping my mouth, until I find myself saying things like, "I've never been so sure about anything." Because I haven't. It's just surreal.

This man*** (yeah, that title is incontestable and official) finds little ways to blow my mind a little bit more every single day. He is so brilliant, so talented, and so gifted, but he works harder than anybody. I've never met another confident person who is still so consistently searching for ways to improve himself. He's masculine-- it's my job to call him out on the occasions when he's being insensitive or arrogant-- but he really strives to understand people, and he's incredibly caring and observant. I've never before heard somebody end a discussion with, "Okay, you're probably right," without being sarcastic or sounding pathetic, but that's the sort of person he is. He can be strong and gentle at the same time.

And our dynamic is fantastic. Our senses of humor are just in sync, in a way that you can't fake. We don't need to explain to each other why things are funny, and we laugh so much together. The only time we've come close to an argument, we immediately saw and took each other's sides, then spent the rest of the afternoon apologizing, only feeling hurt at the idea of hurting each other. We both choose connecting with people in small groups over parties, and we both need time to just be alone. We're both very immersed in the internet culture, so we can fluently talk about things like BlogTV and editing videos, but our online worlds don't always intersect, so we still have our own space, even within the internet microcosm. He's a male songwriter and I'm a female Family Guy fan, but I'm able to maintain my femininity and feel like a girl, because we balance each other out.

He thinks so highly of me, too! He respects me and looks up to me and thinks I'm smarter than he is. I don't buy that last one at ALL, because I find myself gaping in awe at his intelligence on a regular basis, but our admiration is very mutual. Honestly, the most attractive person I could have ever dreamt up (black hair and dark blue eyes? Like, does that even happen?!) thinks I'm the prettiest girl alive. It's kind of insane. And if you even knew HALF of the romantic gestures he's pulled in such a short time, you'd be calling for the Hollywood movie rights. I looked down at my cell phone the other day to see that he'd changed the message on my screen to read, "I love you, Hayley." He drove a ridiculous and outrageous distance to visit me at school this weekend, then insisted upon buying me food (good, right?) and leaving me with his high school cross country sweatshirt so I can parade his name around like a sixteen-year-old, and surreptitiously smell my sleeve to get me through the day. I know.

Anyway, he joked last night, asking when I was going to blog my heart out about how great he is. (When I received my early Valentine's present in the mail today, after I nearly cried from the thoughtfulness and price and sweetness, he added, "What else does a guy have to do to earn a blog post?") I outlined my qualms about sending the wrong message about happiness to some of my readers, and he said, "One, read their comments. They clearly want to know. And two, you're spinning this the wrong way. Think like a writer. You can write about what we talked about. About all the crap and loneliness you put up with, and how things come around, and how you learn skills that you can use for your 'good one.'"

I told you he was smart.

Chipotle burritos this year: 4
Subscribers: 24,470
Nail color: "Far East Fuchsia," Maybelline (Discontinued)

*This excludes the few purchasers of Red, who have had the misfortune of reading an embarrassing excerpt from my middle school journal, immortalized in print.
**LolsubtleRentjoke.
***I've now revealed the identity of The Situation on both twitter and youtube, but I'm going to continue to blog about him under a nickname. He matters so much that, when I choose to dip into my personal life like I am now, I still want to keep some distance between Reality and Blog World. I'm more than happy to call him by his real name other places online, but we'll keep him The Situation here. (Like how John Green calls his wife, Sarah, the Yeti.)

128 comments:

runa said...

I'm so happy for you two :) It sounds like this is a great thing for both of you.

lalalaamichelle said...

You. Get published.
Now.

Snottlebie said...

The way you manage to express your thoughts and opinions continues to impress me. It's a talent to be able to put your thoughts into words and you manage to pull it off all the time. :)

Also I would like to add that another misconception young girls (and guys I guess, but I wouldn't really know) have is that they have a hole or a piece of themselves missing, and need to find a way to fix that (like by finding the perfect person). And the thing is, no other person can be that "missing piece" because it needs to be *you*, you accepting yourself.

I don't know if that made any sense, but Hayley, I'm so glad you and "the Situation" found each other! Haha, good blog post as usual. /fangirls

Alice said...

Thank you Hayley! I'm fourteen and can totally relate to your fourteen year-old self. These days everyone and everything tells you how a guy will fix your life and make you a worthwhile person.It feels so good to have someone (finally) tell you that guys aren't the key to happiness. Like Tina Fey (a GODDESS) said "Let the boys practice on other girls. Let them treat other girls like crud, let them learn how to French kiss for, like, 10 years, let them give some other girl a bunch of crappy Valentine’s Day gifts, and then you just move in when they’re fully formed."

Bel Glezer said...

Atta girl!
Keep on spreading the love - you're giving us all hope to someday find what you have!
And he's really cute too! The song was mind-blowing...

Carina said...

Oh Hayley this is the most wonderful thing I've ever read <3!

Chelsea said...

What really got me and made me turn to goo (because I was still somewhat solid until this point) was the "What does a guy have to do to get a blog post?" bit. That... that is so... amazing. I would love for a guy to say that to me, in the way I know The Situation means it.

Yeah, you don't know me. I don't know you irl. But since I first subscribed to you, you've been someone I can relate to. I didn't have anyone in school that I related to when I first found your channel in 2007. Since then I've become a happier person and have friends I love.

So I know there's truth in what you're saying. And even though people grow up and change and are *always* changing, there are still some core things that stay the same, and I continue to be amazed at how there are these little ways that I still relate to you after all these years.

Sorry for the incoherence... I'm tired xD

Anila said...

He sounds like a keeper. And from my enthusiastic stalking, he's pretty cute, too. I love what you said about how most girls, especially the just-out-of-preteen-hood ones, think that happiness and boyfriends are codependent and that manner of thinking really gets them into trouble, so I admire you using your influence as an internet personality to help them out with that. Kudos!

Margaret said...

<333333
I'm so happy for you!

Jordiekins said...

When you compared calling him by his fake name to John's name for Sarah, my brain was like, "YETI-SARAH-SITUATION'S REAL NAME*-SITUATION-HENRY ATTICUS GREEN-HAYLEY'S PREGNANT." I was totally worried; but, I then realized that you would have told us.**

Um, gross, love stuff. *still thinks girls have cooties*


See ya soon!

*Except, it was, like, actually his name.
**Although, it probably would have been some obscure Twitter reference that would make us assume you had a good day.***
***CASE. IN. POINT: http://bit.ly/b7RPbB ****
****Wait a tick-tock... http://bit.ly/aZQSJp WHAT?

wheretheducksgo said...

it's nice how by just reading it, I can practically feel how happy you are. it's nice to read a blog that feels so much like a story, but someone can really be this happy in the nonfiction world as well.

Dana said...

Oh, I remember the fourteen-year-old phase.

And right now I'm in the sixteen-year-old phase. Where I think a boy will validate me. Not make me happy, but make me feel secure. Like, if I can get the smartest boy I know to like me, then I will stop doubting me intelligence.

I recognize the irrationality, but it still overcomes me.

I'll just wait a few years. :)

Also, side note. I love your blogs. I love your videos. I love Thursdays. Thanks.

deb wakefield said...

fabulous post there hayley!
this is very exciting. i am very happy for you both!
how did you come up with the nickname "The Situation?" because i don't know if you realize this, but well, a Jersey Shore "star" has popularized that name... (i saw him on the grammy's... not good news)

Dana said...

*my

Katy said...

eww this is the grossest thing I've ever read

then again... I'm me.

Brittaneee said...

You two are adorable together and I really wish you all the best.

The youtube video was completely beyond adorable.

Jon said...

*barf*

Marlena said...

happysiiiiiiiiiigh. =D

Paloma said...

Hayley, you are from now on my role model.

I'm fourteen. Sure, boys are cute and blabla. But when I see them, when I hear them speak... they haven't read a book. And literally, not a single book. They only talk about Megan Fox and Wii...

I want a boy who likes to read, loves Harry Potter and John Green, is enthusiastic about Nanowrimo, and, most importantly: who understands and appreciates me.

And I know there's now way I'll find a fourteen-year old like that. Or, at least, it's not very likely I will.

Loved your post.

Vanessa said...

You are dead-on about this. When I was 13-14 I thought all I needed was a boyfriend to be happy.

Now at 16 I know better. Truthfully I haven't grown up as much as I need to to become an independent human being. Once I get there I know I'll be ready for love.

Thank you for everything Hayley, you don't know how much I admire you. <3

Larangutang said...

The Rent quote made my day and I'm so happy for you Hayley. Not like in a creepy way but in a "yay your really happy and have a great guy" way. :D That was a really strong and awesome blog. Woohoo! Good thing in setting the younger girls straight on guys too because I know every girl has been there. You're awesome :D

Zombie said...

:) This gives me hope. Thank you, Hayley and Situation. Would that be The Situation? Who cares, THANKS!

Kayley said...

This is BEAUTIFUL. I love you.

Maria said...

Hayley, why have you gone soft on us? :(

Jennifer said...

Hayley, I am truly happy that you have found someone that you can love, and respect the way you seem to do. You deserve everything you are getting. Oh, and as a seventeen year old girl I can't wait for "boys" to grow up already, but I know they will soon. You need to get get published because everything you write has such wit and truth, which is something so many people need.

the apple that astonished paris said...

coming from a nineteen year old, i feel like you're writing about my past and my life, and i completely agree with everything you've said. my emotional state and relationships are so much different than when i was younger, and the part about how you were able to get into this relationship BECAUSE you've become a happy person made me so happy because i know exactly what you mean.

i don't know if i'm in love right now, but i love the relationship i'm in and i know i wouldn't have been able to have it five years ago, or even one year ago.

thanks for being someone we can relate to, hayley. <3

the apple that astonished paris said...

oh, and i forgot to add the part where i'm OMG SO RIDICULOUSLY HAPPY FOR YOU!!! ;D the video made me squeal so much, ahhh! :D

89ravenclaw said...

I am so happy for you, especially after all the past not-so-great relationships. Now go dance around to Barry Manilow, because it's the only thing I can think of that could make you even happier.

Gomezzio said...

I totally got that Rent joke before I read the footnote. Winpuppy.

thebrookereview said...

What an amazing post! Your happiness radiates from it too :)

Leah said...

*smile*

Linda said...

Although you probably have no idea who I am, I am so happy for you. I'm a year past fourteen, but this blog post has nevertheless really made me realize some very important things. In fact, your whole blog never ceases to amaze me and inspire me to write. I speak on behalf of your commenters when I say, you might not be published (yet), but you're really an amazing writer in the sense that you could touch SO many people, let alone be a role model for them all.

(I'm aware everything I'm saying right now probably sounds really kiss-assy, but trust me when I say I mean everything 100%.)

But on a less serious note- I am so happy for you! Reading about you gush makes me gush. I could think of few people more deserving of a good boy, and by the sounds of it, he deserves you just as much.

Anyways, keep on writing. You're going to make it big.

-An avid fan :)

LadySidi said...

I'm so happy for you both, Hayley! Reading this whole blog, I could FEEL your thoughts and emotions - you expressed everything beautifully. :)

Dinah said...

Awesome awesome awesome.
Oh, and not ALL your viewers/readers are 14...I'm 22.

GRACE said...

I'm fourteen, and you make me feel special. :) And I totally made a blogger account just to let you know that.
You are such an amazing role model. I've been reading your blog for almost a year and have been watching your videos since I was eleven, and you never cease to amaze me. Thanks for making me cheerful and optimistic every once in a while, like right now. You and your happiness GMH. Best wishes!

Morgan said...

Thank you so much.

to_thine_own_self said...

This is probably one of my favorite blog posts of yours. Ever.
And I'm super happy that you are super happy. You deserve this happiness so much, Hayley. You truly do.
=D

Oh, and because I, at the age of 18 and a half, have never even came close to being in love, this blog gives me renewed hope. I like what you said about love happening when both parties are ready.
That makes me feel like not giving up on it, like I've been doing. It'll happen when it happens and when everything is ready for it to.

Morgan said...

Also, you can tell him that I bought some of his music. You indirectly paid him a percentage of 99 cents a song! (Because I would not have found his talent if not for you)So yeah. Tell him that.

Natasha said...

You are amazing, Hayley. Thank you for this.

Sabrina said...

"What does a guy have to do to get a blog post?" The Situation makes me smile. He gets you. Just like you get fourteen year old girls. Your writing isn't forgetful or condescending; it's down-to-earth, like you're telling me things that I've yet to grasp or fully acknowledge. Your writing is pushing me to become a self-actualized adult and realize what counts. I haven't found "true love," but your words make the wait seem more important, more crucial to future existence, than the destination. Boys do not lead to happiness. Accepting and loving yourself leads to happiness, which may lead to boys. You deserve him so much, and he deserves you.

Sarah said...

Every teenage girl needs to understand what you just articulated so beautifully.

And the way you speak about your relationship with The Situation is eerily similar to how I spoke about your-riend-to whom-I-am-now-married about a year and a half ago. Just saying. Enjoy the road.

Tom said...

Awwwwwwww. Not that it means much coming from the internet-sortofalmost fan-people, but it seriously makes me very happy that you're so happy now. (I mean, I remember post-prom Hayley haha.)

Way to stick it to the fourteen-year-old girls...or something haha that expression doesn't mean what I meant at all. But seriously that whole preamble to the gushing was very thoughtful and considerate of any younger readers. It made it so you totally avoided Edward Cullenizing The Situation. (Not that you could Edward Cullenize someone that nerdy. Edward Cullen would never include the Zelda theme music in a love song.)

It's such a weird thing, the whole romance... situation. For everyone, I mean. Justhowlike one can go years being all alone and then meet someone and fall all madly and whatever. But I totally agree that people don't complete one another and an unhappy person won't be eternally fufilled even if the perfect person comes into his or her life. Hopefully that bodes well for me. I feel like I'm not too lonely considering how I used to be. I'm actually probably the least lonely ridiculously girly hopeless romantic teenage guy ever (a title I wear proudly).

*hums coollike's love song* bum bum bum, bum bum bum badadadum...and I know, there's a woman waiting but she's not a woman yet...

Chipotle Burritos this year: 2
Subs: 30
Number of times I've mentioned charlieissocoollike in a comment on hayleyghoover's blog this year: 3 hahahaha

Allison said...

I'm nineteen. I've never been in love, I've never even been in a relationship. And while your story is so encouraging, your words so true, it's hard for me to believe that I will find my someone some day.

Even though I know that you are a real person, you are still removed from the real world, or at least, my perception of you is. So though you are real, you don't seem real. Because in the real life that I know, there are no perfect boys like yours. In my life, there is no Denis, or "the Situation", or Luke Conard, or the other FiveAwesome Boyfriend(s) that I don't remember the names of.

I'm sorry if that comes across weird, but I wonder if you know/remember what it's like to be the anonymous follower of some person who doesn't even know you exist. I don't really know if there is a point to what I'm saying. Maybe I just needed somewhere to vent...?

Anyway, I'm very happy for you, and I hope that I will some day (soon, I hope) be as lucky as you in love.

Kristina said...

Oh Hayley. You are my inspiration. Even though we are about the same age I really do look up to you. I'm a freshmen in college this year too, and I grew up in a very Christian home and consider myself a Christian, but sometimes find myself at odds with what the church thinks I should do. I've been writing my whole life, and hope one day to write YA fiction. I'm not internet famous like you, but I have got some short stories published in local magazines and things.
Anyways I am also worried about young girls constantly being submersed in a culture where "finding a boyfriend" is the only path to happiness. All these girls really crave is attention and affection and somebody who will really LISTEN to them. I find it very hard when I'm writing not to do the typical girl meets boy, girl is now happy bit.
SO I will get to the point now, when you are writing for a early teen/pre-teen audience how do you stay away from that topic?

hannah said...

people with dark hair and blue eyes:
-Detective Flack on CSI New York
-Neil Caffrey on the show White Collar

I am equally infatuated with people with blue eyes and dark hair and i don't go gaga over people with blonde hair and blue eyes.

seurat2 said...

That's wonderful Hayley. Really happy for you both.

hannah said...

i'm also 13 and never really believed that guys are the key to happieness. i have even been asked out a couple times but turned them down because i believe we are two young and we are not going to get anywhere in the relationship anyways.
p.s. someone asked me out on facebook once.

Annie said...

Some girls can be bitter when they hear others say they're in love but I don't think I'm bitter at all. I've never been happier. Which is odd considering we don't know each other. Maybe it's because I feel like I see myself in you.

A girl who feels like she needs a boy (or in this case a man) in her life, will always feel the negatives when the relationship (ultimately) ends. It might just because I have a few too many feminist tendencies in me, but there's nothing wrong with being single or being happy "alone". But, when you do find that one boy who will make you smile, who will go out at 11 o'clock at night to get you gas when you've run out in front of his house, or who will sit on your couch after making out and tell you how you two are going different places in life and are just really good friends and makes you cry about it but you know you'll forgive him in the end because he's become your best friend and life sucks without him, life becomes worth living.

Holly said...

This blog pretty much restored my faith in love.
<3
So glad you're happy, Hayley.

Krazy_4_Kelly said...

Awwww I'm SO glad that you're so happy. And The Situation is just as lucky to find you as you are to find him and that's just so awesome. I'm glad you pointed out the issues you had with posting this and I think they are very good points. However, with that being said, I believe I can speak for all of your blog commenters (and lurkers) by saying that we are very, very happy to hear that you are happy.

I can't wait until the day I can go to the bookstore and see your best seller on the shelves and I can tell the person next to me, who has no interest in what I'm saying, that I read your work when you were a teenager just dreaming of getting published. Then said person can pretend to care for .5 seconds then roll their eyes and walk away mumbling how annoying adults are...

Anonymous said...

hayley you are so amazing.

Susie said...

I'm kind of in awe about the fact that I was mentioned on your blog.

Ninth grade. Man. That kid you blogged about...I forgot his name, but I still remember what he looked like. Maroon 5 and Harry Potter. Drama. Good times.

When I wrote creatively then, I wrote about kids my own age. Now, I still write about high school, because it still fascinates me (though I'm glad I've graduated!).

I'm so happy you've found this amazing guy (I have an amazing guy myself) and I look forward to reading future posts about him!

BitterSweetBree said...

Wow. Okay, just wanted to say that all the stuff you said at the begining about fourteen year old girls was really kind of moving. And I'm eighteen. Lol. You inspire me, for reals. :)

And I am BEYOND happy for you and The Situation. You deserve him Hayley, and so I am glad you two found each other.

Anonymous said...

This is great. But... don't jump the gun, OK? Very few people find true love at 19, either.

PJ Scott-Blankenship said...

I love you so much, it's ridiculous.

annaface said...

I swear, it's like your job to make me want to write down everything in my head. EVERY. SINGLE. POST. makes me feel guilty for not writing more.

Is it strange that it makes me happy to find out that you're so happy? It's not like I know you and you definitely don't know me . . . But I'm happy that you're happy, Hayley.

Kaedtiann said...

<3

Madison said...

Your happiness is infectious! Your middle school/high school experience reminds me so much of my own!
I just figured out last fall that just because you put out love doesn't mean you'll receive it- you have to open your heart to it. As cliche as that sounds, in all seriousness, you can't have love until you accept it. You'd think being raised in the church would have taught me that, but I guess some things you have to learn on your own.
From one 19 year-old to another, I wish you all the happiness you can get your hands on!

Ps. You were the first person I subscribed to on youtube, which led me to 5awesomegirls and then led me to John and Hank. I think I owe you, like, my life. Thank you.

xoxoadorkable said...

This is my favourite blog post of yours. Ever.
I love it. I absolutely love it. It's just soooo good.
You're so talented, Hayley. You win the internet. But you lose the game.
I love, and completely agree with the message your telling younger girls. I hope they listen to you, because it's true.
And can I just say how INCREDIBLY happy I am for you and The Situation. Omg <3 You guys may make me vomit, but you make me vomit sunshine and rainbows =)

Emily said...

Hayley, I am SO happy for you! That is just so amazing, and from the way you describe him, you deserve someone like him! <3
Now, I'm nearing 20...where's mine? *rubs hands together and looks around expectantly*

Anonymous said...

it makes me really sad sometimes coz a girl who used to be one of my best friends convinced herself that she needed a guy to feel valid or something. so now she's with this total idiot... and we're not friends. guess im not cool enough coz im still single

good on you for being able to be happy with and without a guy... and congratulations. you've found something really rare

Anonymous said...

Congrats, Hayley! He really sounds like a truly amazing guy.

You give me hope that I will one day be as truly happy as you have become.

Thank you.

Joella said...

He sounds like an utter sweetheart. :) You're a lucky girl, Hayley! :D

And yeah. I agree with everybody. You need to get published. Like...now.

Scott said...

I love how happy you are. Reading this made me genuinely happy, and I love how you have morals.

wanna be a daytrader said...

GAG
And then you go and lose one of your interests.
Whatever

see ya Hayley

brandomblair said...

I don't believe I've ever squealed and smiled so wide while reading a blog post. There's a first for everything I guess! I'm so happy for you it's almost ridiculous! <3

Anonymous said...

THIS IS SO CRAZY cuz i have been a fan of you and a fan of the situation on youtube SEPARATELY for a longggg time. i feel like i know you both very well and its amazing that somehow your worlds collided and youre together and youre in love. its surreal for me.. and im not even you! please keep the adorable gooey stories coming. makes me sooooooooooooo happy. to see you happy. and to see him happy. :]]
-sharon

Sarah said...

Hayley... you're making us older fans feel old! (haha jokes)

I'm a decade older than 14, but hey, your writing still inspires me, and I love your videos so keep it up!

Cheers!
An old (in years) fan :-p

Elizabeth... said...

All I can do is grin for you, my words cannot fully sum up my smile.

A.J. James said...

I am happy you have found someone that can brighten you so much. I am very lucky in love myself and it took me 30 years and countless heartbreaks to find her...

Sidsel said...

This give me a hope. I'm so picky with guys and it's not as if they hang on trees as it is. I've finally grown confident enough to like myself, I'm ready now!

Yours is my favorite blog.

NicholaSophie said...

What a lovely post Hayley. So inspiring and cute :]
'The Situation' sounds lovely and most importantly, perfect for you.
& I can definitely relate to some of the stuff you wrote about being 14, you have given me hope ;]

Casey Rose said...

I woke up to this post a few minutes ago. I feel that butterfly-in-the-pit-of-my-stomach kind of feeling I get when I read the fiinal pages of a good Sarah Dessen or Maureen Johnson novel. Ah, young adult love. There's nothing like it.

Great way to begin the day. <3

Alyce said...

You sound so happy, and I think that's fantastic. You guys seem really good together.
I don't know what else to say, other than your blog is truly my favorite. I wish you guys the best :)

MooMoo-Chan said...

This made me squee like a little fourteen-year-old-girl. =]
I'm very happy for you two & I still think you're very freaking uber lucky. <333

Cori said...

You're amazing, sis. Love you.

Hannah Alaizabeth said...

my fourteen year old self just threw up from the backlash of a lesson learned too late...boys mature slowly? Why didnt I know this before?!

Anonymous said...

Honestly, given the day I have just had this post was absolutely perfect. Thank you, this helped me to feel kind of optimistic.

And I'm glad you're so happy x

Ginny said...

OHAY I'VE READ RED. It was really good, and contrary to what you say here, your little bit in that book is one of my favorite parts (and not just because I'm a die-hard hayleyghoover fan).

:]

Lorena said...

This blogpost made me smile so much, Hayley :) I'm so happy for you! <33

Anonymous said...

I'm so happy that you're happy! :D
Thanks for the letting me have this thought in my mind for my last month as a fourteen-year-old girl. You and charlieissocoollike have recently made me much more optimistic for the future, so thanks.

Brynne Annaƫ said...

That's so great, Hayley. :)

I have the semi-unfortunate experience of having written a journal entry every single day since I was 11 and a half years old (December 11, 2002!) and there is a whole. Lot. Of crap. On those pages. From angsting about the guy I thought I loved in 9th and 10th grade (and maybe I did, because I took all of 11th grade to get over him), to a borderline eating disorder at 16 (SUCKAGE. BIG TIME), I'll never be able to forget it because it's all there.

On the other hand, I think that having it there helps me figure out where to be NOW. And much as it sucked at the time, I read it and realize that it's over and I think it helps me keep from making the same mistakes twice. Without the journals, I might still be a depressed, jilted, underweight mess, which would be very bad for all concerned.

ItsOnlyMe said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ItsOnlyMe said...

I love this post so much, I love that your happy and I love that you care so much about your subscribers. I wish I could write like you. You really speak to people. Thanks xx

Katie said...

It always makes me happy to read things I've learned experienced from someone else. Especially such a fantastic writer like you, Hayley. :)

My senior year I thought I was in love with a boy and we would spend the rest of our lives together. When we started having problems and broke up, I didn't know what to do with myself. Almost four years later I'm with a man I truly KNOW I'm in love with, and my senior year relationship is nothing in comparison to what I have now. I was also never one to use "Gag-worthy cliches" but now...well you know.

I'm so happy for you! (And for myself, haha.) Love rocks. <3

babyporridge. said...

I've made it no secret that your blog is my favourite. I'm always floored by how you manage to eloquently express yourself. And this time, that still holds true. But I love love love your consideration of your readers, and the clarification that boys don't equal happiness.

My thoughts are exactly paralleled with yours, and I am so pleased and so so impressed that you can set such a fantastic example for the people who choose to read you.

That said, much mirth for your bliss. I'm glad for this union, but what I love most is the mutual sense of respect and admiration. You don't see enough of that.

Will end this now before I become much more of a blubbering sap.

alimarie_11 said...

you have know idea what this would have ment to me if i'd read it when was 14, not a clue how this could have incredibly changed me, and avoided mess-ups which could make things easier today. but i guess i feel like since i took a hard path the learn, i better take as much from it as i can...

i just really hope anyone who feel like they need someone takes this to heart.

and thank you hayley, once again for producing words and ideas and feelings that my brain isn't suited to express. :)

apples_and_pancakes said...

Someone here said that your post made them want to vomit rainbows? Well said, commenter! And, Hayley, I am very happy for you.

Another State of Mind said...

aww Hayley, this just made me feel happy, and it's not my life! I'm so happy for you two. :)

serenamurison said...

This is wonderful.

Anonymous said...

ohmygoodness ohmygoodness ohmygoodness hayleyyyyy! i absolutely love love LOVE reading about your love life. ahaha that sounds so weird, but it feels like im reading an excerpt from a romantic comedy-type novel. and... you give me hope hayley. about finding that one guy. because i know that you are real, and i'm not actually reading a made-up story about love in a book when you're thinking, "riiiiight. like that would really happen to me". im reading about real life, real love. :]

hmmm, next tell us the story of how you guys met

Cece said...

This is so cute and sweet :) I'm incredibly happy for you, and incredibly hopeful that when i'm as old as you i'll be able to write half as well as you do.

Allison said...

*gushes*
AWWWWW.
That was an excellent post. I really do like that you addressed the fourteen-year-old crowd, because I know that I was A) really really REALLY impatient for love at that age and B) really really REALLY unprepared for a relationship. Even when I was sixteen and FINALLY had a boyfriend I wasn't ready for it. You're absolutely right, and I hope the girls reading this blog post take what you said to heart. Good job role-modeling :) (And CONGRATS, your boy sounds amazing. I'm so happy for you two.)

Jonneke said...

I'm so happy for you, Hayley. I was seriously crying while reading this post. And I mean that in the positive, good crying way. My emotions kind of malfunction sometimes in the way that I both start crying when extremely happy and sad. It's weird. Most of my stories end with "... and then I started to cry" (on a related note, I'm not a very gifted story-teller, otherwise I would have found a way to end my stories differently each time I told them).

But, what I was trying to say: I'm so happy for you. Like, happy happy happy. You deserve this. And The Situation deserves you, too. You deserve each other. And that's what's good about it, I guess.

Oh, and another thing: your way of expressing yourself is just... unbelievable. You are one very talented woman.

Nokorola said...

First of all Hayley, I resent the fact that you feel guys mature slower than girls, and you're just a poopyhead.

Emo Hayley!

That is all, have a tripendicular day Hayley.

Abby said...

Wow. That was more eloquent than anything I've ever read that you've written. Love suits you, Hayley, and I'm so happy for you. As a 16 year old girl who probably still belongs in the middle school age of relationships, this post meant a lot. I'm probably going to be rereading it next week, right after I read all about your Valentines cuteness with the Situation.
Seriously, Hayley, I'm so happy for you in a way that could only come from how perfectly you expressed yourself in this.

bookwormdaisy said...

Awwww, Hayley! I'm so happy for you two. :) Best wishes!

Just, Ale said...

Hayley, this is one of the most touching things I've read. It actually brought me to tears. Thank you for being awesome.

Josephine said...

Hayley... HE IS PERFECT. holy cow. :D

Genevieve said...

Ahh. If only you'd posted this a couple days earlier.
I could have written my "Mutual Relationships" essay on you. As you (and he) create a mutual relationship that I now officially admire.
In stead, I had to write it on Harry and Hermione.
But, either way, this is good.
Fantastic.
I love happy people.
And you sound like you are a happy people.

Hayley_leesha666 said...

I am so so so so happy for you guys! I can only hope and pray that i will get my own "situation" one day and be as genuinely happy as you are!
Congrats again!
xxx hayley

PS: i purchased RED lastyear when i heard you were in it.. and i was thoroughly impressed! :)

Emma said...

You are certainly my favorite youtuber for a REASON. Multiple, in fact.

I am so very happy for you, and am lucky that I get to live vicariously through you, since I have an unrequited SOMETHING on a beautiful boy I've known for three years who is leaving for university in a year (growl). But screw that. YOU are made of awesome.

I love hearing your perspectives on love and being a teenager. Keep on writing! I promise to buy TWELVE copies of your debut novel.

Kaitlin C. said...

Hayley, you are truly amazing.

Hi. Big fan,
fourteen-year-old chick, who was just thinking, "*sigh* I need a boyfriend so badly. Someone who can tell me I'm a beautiful person, because I'm so convinced that I'm not." Then I just decided to stumble upon your page. At first, what I read came to me as a real downer. But then I realized, how right you usually are. I mean...everything you've done that I've known about has taught me a lesson...that if I follow through with, you're right. So let me just thank you again, for making me realize, I don't NEED someone, I just foolishly WANT someone. :]

kira902k said...

I've read this over quite a few times, but I keep forgetting to comment.
I think this is amazingly written. As a 15 year old girl who's never been in a relationship, and craves one, it's nice to hear what you have to say on the subject. It made me feel better.
I'm so h appy for you and the Situation. He seems like such a sweetie (and he's pretty darn good looking, too. :P)

I definitely cried while reading this post. I'm just emotional like that. xD

And I loved the Rent reference. I caught it.

I wanted to say a lot more about this blog, but I can't seem to put it into words.
You're an amazing writer. That is all.

-alex

Anonymous said...

Hey, would you mind changing the prize for Haiti donations from making a video on a Saturday to removing Liane from the channel and if necessary, replace her with someone else?

Please and thanks.

Love,
The People Who Hate Fridays Because of 5AG

Gerarda said...

Yay! I'm so glad that you have found someone who is that awesome in your eyes and you are, in turn, as awesome in his.

I found your post quite interesting because as I read it I've realised that I can't at all relate to what you said in that post at all. I was never interested in boys when I was 14, I was barely interested in them at 17. At 19, I'm interested in boys but I don't think I'd EVER describe ANYONE like they way you described the situation. Maybe I just have very little faith in people. =)

joy isobel said...

Hayley, I'm so glad you found someone you care about (: You two seem genuinely perfect for each other, and that makes me happy for you. Strangely enough, I think we started dating our boyfriends at the same time haha. You're adorable, never stop blogging, please <3

Katyisgoing said...

Ah, that's so great!

709Wife said...

Hayley! Mom made me read this, and two sentences into it, I knoew it was by you. I love you and miss you. This has helped me so much with everything. Who is this "man"?

709Wife said...

That last post (under my google account) was from Sammi. :) From me: You Truly Amaze Me. Reading the comments from all these young girls (including my own) that you've touched brings tears to my eyes. Your talent is an incredible gift but to realize how that gift is helping young girls is priceless. You put the Awesome in Five Awesome Girls. :)

Hope is Alive said...

hayley i love you,and your blog.

im laughing right now, because you referenced your internet friend susie, who you met when your were roughly fourteen.
well, my name is susie, im on the internet and i am fourteen.

pinkelephant1146 said...

I think I would like to marry The Situation.

Perhaps our age difference would be unsettling, and perhaps the fact that you're in love may factor into it, but we can move past that. ;)

Haha. Seriously, I'm really happy for you. XD

Kelly Kathleen said...

Aww Hayley, that was so sweet. I hope you and The Situation are happy for a long time!!

I loved all of the stuff you said about boys not being the key to happiness. I broke up with my first boyfriend a few months ago, and I've realized that we didn't work out because I wasn't happy with myself. Since we've broken up I've become much more confident in myself and as a result, I'm a much happier person. And I'm not frantically searching for the next boy, either. It will happen when it happens! (And the best thing is i'm not going to be tied down to the wrong boy when I go to college next year)

Laura said...

I'm 18, Hayley, and honestly you're like a mini-hero to me. (I don't know why you're mini, but just go with it.) You're right up there for me, like Tina Fey. Yes, I like you that much. All I can say is that I've never come even a teeny bit close to what you're feeling right now. That's right. I'm a relationship virgin, so your post gives me some hope. Ah, I can't believe I'm spilling my guts to you right now, but I guess you're just so awesome that I feel I can confide in you. Anyway, enough about me. I am SO happy for you. I know we don't know each other, but I can feel this intense joy radiating from your post, and I have to say that it's lovely. I'm so glad you're in this place in your life. Also, I checked out The Situation and he struck me as a mix of Jemaine Clement and Darren Criss (physically). You are so lucky....but so is he :)

Sam said...

awe haley! this blog made me smile - i'm so happy that you're happy! considering i'm a year younger than you and am yet to find anyone even remotely resembling the kind of guy you've found; it gives me hope :)

also you are an amazing writer - i have no doubt you will be famous one day. seriously. you already have connections in the field and everything (john green!)

Annalise said...

you have inspired me so much, with this blog and with your youtube videos [both hayleyghoover and fiveawesomegirls] and i just want to let you know that. i've started my own channel on youtube to vlog in large part because of you. i am so in awe of your relationship with the situation and this post cinched it. i was just wondering about this kind of thing today [the romance and boys and relationships, blah blah blah etc.], and while i am closer to your age now and not fourteen, this post helped. a lot.
i know i'm late to the game, but i've been looking at your back posts and kristina's, and you guys are... awesome. you really do "live up to your name".

thank you.

Chocolatier said...

A facebook friend posted the link to this post on another facebook friend's wall and that's how I got here. I'm 14 and in eighth grade and this post (the first part anyway) describes perfectly how I feel. Like, I can't talk to the guy I like, most guys hate me for some reason, I havent ever had a boyfriend or been kissed. Thank you so much for the advice, I'm going to try to take it to heart.

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