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Sunday, September 13, 2009

Kanye West is a DOUCHEBAG!

To be honest, I've had a bad couple of days. A friend did something really mean to me this week, and it hurt a lot. To add to it, another "friend" said some awful things to me in response to the situation. A long sequence of nasty events followed me around like a cartoonish raincloud for a while, and I've been feeling rather upset about it all. I went out with Michal and Kayla (the cool, smart girls I smoked a hookah with last week) last night, in an attempt to cheer up both Michal and myself, as something similar but worse has been going on in her life. We got dressed up and marched patent leather heels up the Athenian hills, despite our better judgment. The party was a lot more fun for Michal than it was for me and Kayla, and I spent a good portion of the night in a corner outside, on the phone with Jess, nearly crying. I finally stomped back to my dorm in the middle of the night, feelings like I'd been run over by a tractor, crawled over my roommate's friend who was asleep on my floor, and had a few disturbed hours of sleep.

In the morning, my sister called, and I spent the afternoon with her and her friends, eating Taco Bell and watching Cruel Intentions. I took a much-needed nap. With that and the long shower I took a few hours ago, I'm starting to feel like a person again. Erin is mostly responsible for my regained happiness, though. She gave me my birthday present early-- a gorgeous lime green nail polish, proving that she already understands me after barely a fortnight of friendship-- and we had a dance party to Mika and Justin Finch-Fletchley. Now I'm on the dorm floor of Katie and Kelsey, two girls from my building, and we're watching the Video Music Awards with Erin and my roommate. Because I don't want to get into the details of my sucky weekend, instead I think I'll provide my reactions to the ceremony. If you didn't catch the VMAs, I'm sorry, and this post will probably stop being of any interest to you right about now. If you did watch, please comment with your opinions!

--Why do they keep showing the same four celebrities? Is nobody there? For example, eh hem, where is Miley?! I mean... I know where she is. But I still held out hope that she'd be there.
--Madonna's sort of making me nervous. I understand why she would want to make those points, and she certainly has the power and audience tonight, but I think she's probably taking it too far. It's nice that she reminded us Michael Jackson was a human, though. I usually compare him more to one of the crazy alien creatures from Cats.
--The host is supposed to be shocking, inappropriate, and funny. Russell Brand has hit on the first two and then some, but I'm not finding any of this amusing. He's off-putting and taking everything too far.
--...Are you serious? Are you serious?! Who let Kanye West on the stage? Taylor Swift is adorable, and while Beyonce is obviously a legend, the "You Belong With Me" video has been watched millions of times because millions of people relate and connect to her. Celebrities are all mentally unstable, and we accept that. In the case of giant turkey statues and space goggles, I embrace and enjoy their craziness. But you can't abuse your power to humiliate a girl my age for something out of her control! Especially something she deserved! Kanye is a douchebag!
--There you go, Taylor. Her performance is cute and energized. What a graceful way to handle it all. She looked straight out of Carrie up there, like she'd just won prom queen and then had pig's blood poured all over her. But instead of killing everybody with her eyes, she's singing well and looking like a rock star. Represent, Taylor.
--I'm all for Lady Gaga. I think she's insane in the best possible way, and definitely talented when it comes to grabbing attention. But I'm not sure I understand this, um, hanging from the ceiling, covered in blood, surrounded by paraplegics? Nice save from the Taylor Swift thing, though. Hopefully people will be talking about Gaga's weird ass collar and leg-on-the-piano stunt long enough to give Taylor a rest.
--Tracy Morgan! He's awesome and deserves the spotlight. It's unfortunate that his moments are being ignored because of the Kanye Disaster's aftermath.
--Oh my. Oh, Gaga. She's wearing a red fishnet over her body. Like blood. Excuse me?
--The group of girls I'm watching with have been arguing about why Megan Fox gets so much attention, when she isn't even that classically pretty. I've decided that it's because she sort of looks like Satan, what with her little slitty eyes, and therefore subconsciously gives off a "forbidden fruit" vibe. What are your thoughts on the matter?
--My friend Katie just checked twitter, and it's down from all the activity. The trending topics are changing at lightning speed, and everyone in the world has an opinion. Now everyone else is on a laptop, and we're all sitting in a circle, reading tweets. Good luck keeping up with those, Justine!
--The New Moon trailer. Does anyone have a spoon? 'Cause I want to gag myself. They're doing a great job advertising, because I personally cannot wait to see Kristen Stewart thrash around in her bed, screaming, out of holey emotional torture. Good Lord.
--"What? What happened?" asks a laughing Diddy after he mentions Kanye to a cacophony of boos. The crowd chants, "Tay-lor! Tay-lor!" I love live TV.
--"Kanye West is the biggest piece of shit on earth," says Pink of twitter. "My heart goes out to Taylor Swift. She is a sweet and talented girl and deserved her moment. She should know we all love her." I already really liked Pink, and now I think I love her.
--Cyndi Lauper? Hahaha! I wonder what percentage of the audience even recognizes her.
--Oh my gosh! I stand by what I just said. Pink is truly impressive. She's doing a freaking trapeze act and looks amazing at it. This performance on its own would be enough to make the VMAs memorable.
--Awwwww. We knew you'd redeem everything, Beyonce. Taylor looks beautiful and I think the situation was handled in the classiest way possible.

Okay, I think that's about enough. I've made it through a sleeve of Ritz crackers, and I have class in the morning, so I'm going to bed. I need a rest!

Sexy: Brushing your teeth in the shower. I know it sounds weird, but all the water creates a really intense foam explosion, and your mouth feels so clean and fantastic!
Unsexy: Kanye West! It sucks, because I actually respect his music. But there he goes, being a psycho. He makes Lady Gaga's prickly straw mane look attractive.

Chipotle burritos this year: 29
Bagel Street visits this school year: 1
Subscribers: 20,372

Bye, guys! Hopefully I'll see you tomorrow. <3

37 comments:

Adrienne said...

thank you for posting this. i needed some distraction, and this was perfect.

to_thine_own_self said...

I agree with pretty much all of your VMA reactions. Hah.
Actually, the very first thing I muttered after the Kanye thing was, "What a freaking DOUCHEBAG!"
I was pretty mad about that. He was such an arrogant jerk. Ugh.


The Lady Gaga thing was slightly...creepy. For a split second I kind of wondered if she'd really been shot live onstage because of the blood thing. I thought how shocking that would be. Then I saw her a little later in the crowd with that red...outfit on and knew she was back to her Kermit-dating self. Ahaha.

Caroline said...

Oh, Hayley.

-Taylor Swift is my hero. I wanted to cry for her. I also loved reading all the tweets about it. Katy Perry's is my favorite.

- Madonna made me very nervous...like the creeped out kind.

- I love Russel Brand.

- I respect Lady GaGa.

- Pink is a badass.

- Beyonce made my night. I was so happy she did that.

I love you, Hayley. You are up there with Taylor Swift on my hero list.

Anonymous said...

Pink is an awesome person, with great music,

i hope things get better for you haley :)

Allyson;; said...

I definitely enjoy Katy Perry's tweet, "FUCK U KANYE. IT'S LIKE U STEPPED 0N A KITTEN."

hahaha =]]

Eddy said...

I'm sorry the past few days have been rough on you. It sound like Erin is a awesome person to know.

I think Kanye West is an idiot and I plan on boycotting everything he does, past, present, and future. This in not the first time he has rushed the stage. Calling him a douchebag is an insult to douchebags.

Rosita said...

Kanye's always been a douche. It sucks that I actually enjoy some of his songs, because he is a total CREEP. I don't even really like Taylor Swift's music, and I thought Kanye was such a jerk.

At least Taylor has maturity and class, as well as Beyonce. And P!nk is just an effing BADASS. <3

loveacrosstheocean said...

I go to school in europe so I wasn't able to watch the VMAs live, and had to rely on my friends' facebook statuses, twitter, and the few videos that weren't pulled in record time to see what what going on. The thing that bothered me most was the kayne-taylor debacle. I lost SO much respect for him, seriously. My friends have been hating him for a while now, but talent is talent whether you're a douchebag or not. I wrote a blog entry right after watching the video of his tantrum, and Taylor's reaction broke my heart. To be honest, I think we all expect this kind of shit from Kanye, you know? Everyone knows he's arrogant and does a lot of things for shock value, but REALLY? TAYLOR? He would have never pulled this stunt with anyone else. Just because she's like a marshmallow and you want to hug her and braid each other's hair she gives off a vulnerability most other artists don't, and I think he took advantage of that big time. Fuck you, Kanye.
I really hope things get better for you, Hayley, and to speed the process, don't pick Ritz crackers. Try Oreos or something more omnomnom worthy. Just saying.
<3

Michelle said...

I was completely shocked when Kayne came on stage. I put off watching True Blood because I knew some drama would happen.It was HORRIBLE watching Taylor react to Kayne. He is such an effin douchebag that I'm at a loss for words.

Lady Gaga is nuts.

The New Moon trailer is HILARIOUS.I really don't need to hear her moaning or yelling though. That doesn't need to happen.The clutter of facebook statuses I had to deal with because of that trailer..good lawd! btw,since when is stuttering,moaning and blinking acting?

But I digress.

Pink is badass. She sang LIVE too. You don't see that anymore.

Madonna made me uncomfortable. I was waiting for her to say "I have a black son, just like Michael" or something crazy like that.

The Vagabond said...

Seriously, every time they flashed to Lady Gaga's prickly straw mane I was like "WTF?!" She is pretty cool in a "I do whatever the hell I want and don't care" sort of way and she's actually reasonably talented.

I agree with the Miley Cyrus bit. Sometimes I don't know what to think about her, but I heard Party in the USA for the first time today, went home, downloaded it and have been listening to it on repeat ever since. Seriously good song.

What Kanye did was really pathetic. I think he'll get what he deserves if he hasn't already though. She's going to write a song about his douchebaggery, earn millions, make a music video and then win a VMA for next year too! She's got this.

Stefan said...

megan fox just oozes sex appeal. in a lot of ways it's an attitude more then a look. classically pretty does not always play in to who guys give attention to.

Brynne Annaƫ said...

I am more convinced than ever that your mood and mine are somehow magically linked. I had the crappiest weekend of my life. My uncle died. Obviously that's big. And then a guy from one of my classes asked me to a movie with him and I was freaking out a bit because I barely know the guy. And then I turned him down over Facebook because of my uncle and all the homework I didn't do because I was depressed. And then I felt bad and watched two episodes of Dollhouse and one of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and still didn't do the homework. And then I read your blog and felt better. <3

Kaitlyn w/ a K said...

For some reason I feel the need to monitor the things you're counting unnecessarily closely, and your "Bagel Street visits" counter has been at 1 for a while. I'm gonna need you to go to Bagel Street again soon.

Kristen said...

My thoughts:
-madonna said very important things, but it ran longer than it should.
-the Michael Jackson dance tribute, especially Janet showing up, was made of awesome.
-Kanye West...it was seriously like abraca-douche, he appeared out of nowhere, took her mic, rambled something and she was left standing there trying to figure out what had just happened. Team Swift all the way
-Pink definitely has my heart. I wish I was that brave!
-I heart Cyndi Lauper. Time after time is seriously my fav song from her.
-I really don't get Gaga at all. I liked her first two songs but this costume thing she's doing I just can't understand.

Hopefully the friend thing/whatever else is messing with your thoughts clears up soon! Have a great week!

Meagan said...

About 10 minutes after Kanye West acted like an anal wart on live television, I thought to myself "God, I hope Hayley writes about this on her blog!" Does that mean I'm a nerd? I think it does.

Eddy said...

Well it looks like douchebag has taken to his blog and apologized to Taylor Swift. He is still a douchebag who thinks he can do whatever he wants as long as he apologizes on his blog

Wellduhh...I didn't think that is the purpose of having a blog. He could learn a lot from hayleyghovver! He only wishes his blog was even 1% as good as your's.

Scott said...

Hopefully everyone takes their negativity towards you, and sends it on over to Kanye. People like you don't deserve to be hurt by people. Kanye West deserves to be hurt by people.

That said, I pretty much agree with all of your opinions.

#TeamTaylor
#PinkisaBAMF
#Gagashouldtoneitdown
#Keepitclassy,Beyonce

itjusmar said...

OMG I totally agree with you, Kanye is a douchebag! I was already on the fence with him because of his previous arrogant and selfish hissy fits but this set it off. He had no business going up there and doing that. Taylor Swift is like awesome and the nicest person ever. I have now completely lost respect for him and even though his music at times can be really good it just now seems unpleasant knowing what kind of person that voice is coming from.
As for Lady Gaga oh my her outfits lol I don't know what to even say to that. I don't I guess that's just her thing, extremely weird outfits.
For the rest of the shows highlights, Pink is awesome, Beyonce kept it classy, and Russel well needs to tone it down or find some better jokes.

As for you Hayley, I hope everything gets better soon, sending out good vibes to you. Have a good day tomorrow.

Elizabeth... said...

I didn't even have the chance to watch that but I think you've given such a run down that I can understand the best bits.
Kanye is a dooche, Pink is awesome and New Moon will probably make my eyes bleed and my boddy sieze up in laughter.

Also, brushing teeth in the shower? All the time!

Friend stuff: *strange over the sea internet hugs*

Joy said...

HAHA I'm loving the "Unsexy" for today... It would have been easy to make any sort of insult and leave it at that (and would have been deserved on his part!). But of course you had to expand upon the point in an amazingly witty fashion:

"He makes Lady Gaga's prickly straw mane look attractive."

Now that is an amazing insult if I ever saw one!

ginger jones said...

I can't believe he would do something to someone so sweet. Sorry that you and your friend are fighting. I hope that after many years of friendship you will get past this because I know how painful it is when you almost lose them. Ignore what the other friend said because it's not her business. I appreciated this post.

eibbore said...

I'm in the UK, so I woke up went to Twitter and it was an explosion of "Kanye is an ASSHOLE", "Lady Gaga is insane" and "How classy is Beyonce?".

Agree on all parts.

Hope things look up for you Hayley! <3

Katie said...

Ritz crackers with cream cheese, FTW.

I didn't watch the VMA's but now I feel like I have to look up highlights to see what's going on. My roommate did burst into our room after the Kanye incident though and freak out to me about it, lol.

Feel better! <3

Meg said...

I am sorry you are having a suck weekend. I had a few of those my freshman year too! I went to a woman's college that year, so you can imagine all of the drama created by a few hundred girls living in close quarters.

Also, I love your blog. Some of your posts sound like novels to me. They are so emotionally charged. You are a great writer!

notaclareintheworld said...

I always brush my teeth in the shower!

traderbob11 said...

Your friends were mean?

The only juveniles in college are supposed to be the profs.

Sorry about that.

Let me hit the reset button for you.

iamajedii said...

I think you're right about Megan [Meghan? Whatever.] Fox...and Twilight...and Kanye...and everything else you mentioned.

DaisyJo said...

Hayley, you are write...RIGHT...about everything! I haven't had a chance to post my VMA blog yet, but I totally agree with you!<3

Hema said...

I agree with everything, except that i'm so tried of lady gaga - i just want her to go away. Also, I adore Russel Brand - he can do no wrong in my eyes. I guess it just comes down to having a different sense of humour. Spot on with everything else, though.

Kate said...

I CAN'T STAND MEGAN FOX.

Yes, I love Taylor, yes, I disagree with Kanye's statements, but the one thing that stuck out to me from this entry is your comments on Ms. Fox. I'm SO glad it's not only me.

I don't see what guys see in her, and she always looks like she's got a pole stuck up her butt all the time. Sorry, but it's true.

There are so many more beautiful women (inside and out) that deserve all that attention.

Margaret said...

I asked one of my guy friends why he loves Megan Fox so much. I think I phrased it like this: "How can you simultaneously love someone smart and beautiful like Emma Watson and the ever-trashy Megan Fox? She's not attractive at all!" ...Or something. Evidently, guys just think she's hot, want to have wild sex with her, and then move on.

Allison said...

Brushing your teeth in the shower... gonna try that.

And Kanye West can go suck it. Taylor and Beyonce are both classy.

Hayley said...

Oh no. A bad thing happened. I loved you with all of my heart and then you said Russell Brand wasn't funny. I'm very confused and not quite sure how to handle this situation.

Damn you, Miss Hoover.

Hayley x

Katy said...

Lady Ga Ga is a weirdo, but an entertaining one at that.

Megan Fox just radiates bitch. I just don't like her face. She give death glares to everything/one in sight.

Hilary said...

Oh Hayley, I'm so sorry people said some nasty stuff about you and I know EXACTLY how you feel. This past weekend my roommate and some people who I thought were friends said some hurtful things to me and were rather nasty about my values and maturity to the point where I moved out of my dorm just yesterday. So my heart completely goes out to you. People suck, I know. :)

kira902k said...

Hahah. I love your little comments on the VMAs. I didnt watch them but I've heard enough to be able to comment:
ALthough Lady Gaga is extremely odd, I think she's really talented and I kind of like her oddness. Also, she was singing "Paparazzi" when she died on stage, so maybe it was some deep message about, like...media and what all the attention does to celebrities?

Pink is one of my favourites, she is so talented and down to earth and nice.

And your point about Megan Fox is SO true. Satan. Yes. Hahh!

-alex

Freya said...

I swa=ear that Fucking Kanyey West. Taylor Swift is like the cutes thing, you just wanna hug her, as Katy Perry said "It was like you stepped on a fucking kitten" The prick. I loved Taylor on The view (Is that what its called?) They asked her what was going through her head and she said it was like
"Oh wow, WOW I won, Im gunna get to thank the fans, DOnt trip and fall. Oh Kanyey West is here. Cool haircut. Oh Hey...what ya doin there? Oh I guess I wont get to thank the fans"
She's such a sweetie, and she deserved the award. For gods sake Single Ladies isnt even all that good of a video! UGh The prick.