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Thursday, September 24, 2009

Hot Breadsticks

As many hater comments as I endure on a daily basis, I can say this for the internet: it has some medicinal value. My never-ending bad day prevailed from my last blog post all the way up until this afternoon, but somewhere during the process of editing my fiveawesomegirls video, I suddenly perked up. None of that was staged, by the way. I honestly turned on my webcam feelings like vomit, and all it took was some Miley Cyrus and some counting of my blessings for my mood to improve. So, YouTube, I'm willing to put up with being called a "fag" or "dum bich" every now and then if this is how you repay my patience.

Cheerful disposition aside, things aren't too exciting around these parts. I got an A on one of my first big girl college papers. It turns out that the secret is to determine the professor's political bias and religious beliefs, and then pander your heart out. All I had to do was compromise my morals and pretend to be an atheistic ultra-feminist. Eh, I may never be named a martyr, but at least my suck-up skills and knowledge of punctuation will never fail me!

Another thrilling event of note? I had dinner with my sister tonight, and I was ready to exit the line with my happy little crock of spaghetti when I caught accidental eye contact with a really cute guy, who was wearing a stained apron and tending to garlic bread. Like a hound dog, my nose followed the scent of golden-brownness to a back table in the kitchen, where sat a tray of breadsticks. "Are those...?" I started, looking from the breadsticks to Hot Dining Hall Guy and back again.

"Yeah," he said. "You... do you want to wait for them?" I'm going to be honest and add that he responded like he was a little bit flustered, and he was definitely looking at me the same way I was looking at him. "'Cause it'll be a few seconds."

"Obviously," I said. "I mean, breadsticks are awesome!"

Hot Dining Hall Guy laugh-grunted something that suggested that he agreed, and he then wrestled with the tray like delivering my breadstick was the most important task in the world. I was putting on a good show of looking distracted and disinterested, so his determination to feed me was particularly flattering. "Here," he finally said, smiling. And then Hot Dining Hall Guy held out the tray, specifically to me, despite the crowd forming in line. I took the tongs and plucked one from his platter. I felt it, guys. It was a carbohydrate love connection.

To top things off, the breadstick turned out to be a BOSCOE STICK. I don't know how badly your high school cafeterias suck(ed), but for the students of Hell, few things were more exciting than the days we were served these gloriously greasy cheese-filled breadsticks, and I thought I'd never get to savor them again. If it weren't enough that I got hit on by a boy with access to food, I got to chase the experience with fatty goodness.

So despite the fact that a whole lot of aspects of my life currently suck, at least I have a new goal: talk to the cute boy again. And, ya know, eat more cheesy bread.

Sexy: Matthew Morrison! I keep re-watching episodes of Glee on Hulu, and while it's partially to appreciate the hysterical dialogue, it's mostly to drool over the show's leading man. Oh, oh my. He is just too good-looking. It should be illegal.
Unsexy: Having classes on Fridays. My body is itching for the weekend.

Chipotle burritos this year: 31
Bagel Street visits this school year: 4
Subscribers: 20,641

Bye, guys! Hopefully I'll see you tomorrow. <3

47 comments:

Anonymous said...

Same thing at my school, but our french fries are awesome too. They taste exactly like McDonald's fries.

Lauren said...

YOU ARE ALSO FREAKING CUTE AND SERIOUSLY, EVERYTHING SUCKS BECAUSE YOU AREN’T HERE.

Tom said...

Another important tip for getting A's is to format papers exactly as Mr. Teacher Man said to, and insert multiple opinion-supporting quotes even in situations where they add nothing. Creativity optional.

ginger jones said...

I had to pause mid way through to watch your video, haha. It's nice to have double HayleyG it's like 'Twice is Nice' on Nickelodeon here. I'm kinda bummed that the college/university experience is kinda killed for me because I'm going two years late. Education hiatus sucks. I'm starting to crave knowledge. I'm glad that you, in the midst of your personal problems, are still having some good times inbetween.

iwishiwereaWeasley said...

I'm really glad to see that the little things are lifting your spirits! Brooding poet-ish Hayley is fine, but Cheerful excited Hayley is absolutely inspiring and she can make you laugh like crazy. So I hope things just keep getting better for you from here on in, because the world seems like a brighter place when people like you are let loose! :D

ps - sorry if that sounded weird, but...well, it's true :)

jessmcfadden said...

Hahah I also agree with Lauren!

seurat2 said...

So now I have to determine if Hot Dining Hall Guy (HDHG to his friends) will be worth a chapter in your eventual memoirs or just a passing reference because he is soon to be overwhelmed by the cluster of others eager to know you. A tough call, but I like how it started. Meanwhile, you still make me laugh.

Gomezzio said...

I just bring my own lunch nowadays, it's lot easier and better :P

I have a craving for Italian Dippers now :P It's basically the same thing you described except the bread is cut in and the cheese is placed in the slot. They're awesome. But yea, not worth the lines, money, and tolerance of the idiots who some might call your peers.

Kat said...

WORD to today's unsexy. I just got back from a Decemberists concert downtown (outdoor pavillions that allow you to listen to music without paying ftw), and now I have to study for my Spanish exam tomorrow and I have thirty pages to read on "feminine masculinity." Incidentally, I'm interested to hear how you define "ultra-feminist."

Also, I had no idea what Boscoe sticks were. Are they some kind of Midwest thing?

Kat said...

Also, Matthew Morrison? Totally David Jacobs all grown up.

xxTIFFANYxx said...

Wow Haley, it's like anyone's perfect boyfriend! Hes hot AND he has access to delicious food! You must investigate ASAP!

DaisyJo said...

Gotta love a boy who can cook....

Brynne Annaë said...

Of my teachers, half require MLA-style formatting and half Chicago Manual of Style. It's surprisingly difficult to keep it straight in my head which class needs which.

That said, I'm adoring college and I'm SO glad you are, too.

Eddy said...

It's nice to see you smiling on your 5AG video. I, along with your blog readers, am truly glad that you are feeling better.

The food at my college pretty muched sucked my last year so I lived on apples, yogurt, and take out Chinese food. I'm glad the food at your college is better.

allison said...

A carbohydrate love connection.
I want one.
But the cashier at Dunkin' Donuts gave me "the sprinkliest donut". His words, not mine. It would've been a rainbow waxy love connection, but, um, I as wearing my high school shirt. Fail.

When life gives you lemons, it also gives you hot guys with BOSCOE sticks.

KatieSham said...

Matthew Morrison is GORGEOUS.

His smile..seriously makes my draw drop. And I'm Ok with that.

The Vagabond said...

Glad to see your day got better! I saw a hot guy today too. He had Jamie Lawrence hair. He, unfortunately, didn't notice me or offer me greasy-cheesy bread. Maybe next time, despite the only place I've ever seen him is abs class. Will pursue this...

Happy National Punctuation Day!

Holly said...

"Hot breadsticks"!!!
My goodness. I refuse to believe/admit that I've a sick mind, but that is hilarious.
I hope you talk to him again, this sounds like the beginnings of an epic blog story.

traderbob11 said...

Bread sticks, ya, whatever.

an A "AN A" I'M PROUD OF YOU GIRL

on a sad note..I think my car is gay.

Hayley have a great day.

If you didn't notice..I wrote you a poem. (the two lines above...sheeeesh)

Emily said...

Sometimes, Hayley, I read your blog and then leave the window open so that I can think of something to say to comment with, but then just before I go to bed, I realize I actually have nothing to say so I sadly close the window and leave.

I don't want to do that today. :D <3

Scott said...

I was having one of the shittiest days ever today. I then opened the lid of my laptop, went to your blog, read the term "carbohydrate love connection", then proceeded to laugh until I realized my life is actually pretty okay. Thanks, I needed it. :)

But seriously, CarbMan - Get a piece of that.
...Wether or not I'm speaking of the actual boy, or the fucking CHEESE FILLED bread, you'll never know.

Sarah McLeroy said...

Matthew Morrison....omg, I keep watching the Kanye song clip on youtube and everytime I get quivers. He is so yummy. I'd also like to point out that his wife totally doesn't deserve him!

I thought I made a food/love connection one day at a local bakery but I have never seen that boy again. I hope you have better luck.

Mègan said...

Glee is fantastic <3

And so is Matthew Morrison! <3 <3

Elizabeth... said...

I think bonding over food is definitely a promising start.
As long as he understands if you say "nom nom nom" then you're sorted, right?

Nicholas said...

Oh Hayley, you make my work day bearable :)

And Glee? Amazing. Just amazing. I sometimes sit there watching open-mouthed, because I can't believe my eyes.

The single ladies parts in the last episode were almost tmth :D

Hannah said...

You really need to get your head around this silly religious belief thing you have going on, you know. I'm kind of hoping college will open your mind and you'll actually think for once. I wish you would write a blog detailing exactly why you're so steeped in your Church. It's tragic, because it's clearly only down to your devout religious upbringing (which should be a crime - children should not have religion forced upon them when they're too young to know better. My parents are both Christians, but they let me make my own mind up). You're obviously much smarter than that. I'm just praying (haha.) that you're not the devout believer, i.e. the type who actually thinks Adam & Eve existed. 'Cause FYI: that's stoopid.

Meg said...

You are right, pandering to your professor's beliefs is the secret to success in college. I have a friend who has the same major as me and we end up in a lot of the same classes. We have this kinda of game where we try to figure out our professors' political ideas. We have even scheduled appointments in their offices to see what kind of stuff they have in there. We are like secret investigators.It was pretty easy to do last year during election season, but this year it is a little harder. So far this semester, we are sure that Dr. Livingston is a hardcore democrat, while we are pretty sure Dr. Starnes and Dr. Kurt are republicans.

Elly said...

CHEESE-FILLED BREAD?!

Dammit, I have to get me to the USA pronto. Although my mum made some wick corn-bread the other day, it didn't have that same 'this is so fattening' guilt/glee attached to it as I'd imagine a boscoe would.

Hayley, you are a goddess xox

SlytherinSweetie said...

Ha ha. The ad on your page was for fancy cheese. Ha ha. But anyway, college sounds awesome. A cute guy, with access to cheesy food, and obviously likes you....Hurry up and marry him already! And you totally reminded me. I forgot to right my theme paper. Crap. Oh well, at least I had an awesome Hayley G blog to make up for it. =]

~Kayla

Anonymous said...

I´m so jealous you had a Mary-Kate & Ashley moment! Stalk the guy and get back to us, please!

- Sidsel.

eibbore said...

Is it strange to say I wish I knew you? Ah, who cares? I wish I knew you IRL.

JoshV said...

I believe it was Twain who said something like "I will never let my schooling interfere with my education". That's good stuff right there. It's impressive to see you working the system so early!

Shelby Rebekah said...

OH MY GOD Matthew Morrison is sooooo fine. Something about the way his mouth moves when he speaks...His like, subtle fragility in Glee makes him so...ugh I can't even put my finger on it. Though I wish I could...ehem *wink wink nudge nudge*

but the name is Tarah. said...

I love your cheesy bread story! Hot Dining Hall Guy sounds like a keeper. I mean, think about it. It's like that scene in Lady and the Tramp, BUT instead of a piece of spaghetti you're both eating an end of a breadstick.

So romantic.

Arden said...

I wish the servers in my dining hall were cute... All we have are these old ladies and this one old guy.

Margaret said...

Ohh! You just made me all KINDS of excited for my first college dining hall experience! Bring on the cheesy bread and hot men!

lalalaamichelle said...

Ask him if he likes coloring. If he does, he's a keeper.

runswithwands said...

I wish you could teach me how to write papers. I made a B :(

KatieSham said...

To that Hannah chick up there...

You do realize that by telling her what she needs to believe you're doing the EXACT thing you don't want parents to do, forcing their beliefs on someone.

Way to go.

And you said 'stoopid'. Which, no matter if it was a joke or not, is just weird.

Maria said...

Awesome. =) I'm glad that you're feeling better. Breadsticks are yummy. Hot guys are yummy. I have not been lucky enough to experience both simultaneously. Congrats!
...
Glee! xD

Indigo said...

Fiveawesomegirls videos always cheer me up, especially your last one.

Madhu said...

you should add to your count "number of hits by cute guys: 1" heehee

anyway that's really exciting
and i love you, just come to your blog when you're down and read all the love comments!

pickles4muggles said...

HAHA! Carbohydrate love connection! Awww hayley. I freaking love your blogs

Nokorola said...

Good job with all that Hayley, always enjoy the bread sticks.

kira902k said...

Matthew Morrison is beyond beautiful.

Cute boy serving good food. Sounds like a winner.
:)

-alex

megan-la said...

I clicked on the Matthew Morrison link to imdb you provided and...
http://www.imdb.com/media/rm868653568/nm1285162
have you seen this?!
I assume you've seen this but...
Have You Seen This?!?
o_o , :D

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