Monday, September 14, 2009

Family, Passion, Andromeda & Caesura

It's probably safe to assume that the average college student has to adjust to a life separate from that of his or her family, and that, aside from the occasional phone call or email, that student becomes an independent creature with limited contact with home. Well, let's just say that, in more ways than one, my family is a little bit different.

I finished off a much-needed, therapeutic, I-miss-you-so-much conversation with Kristina this evening over Skype, yawned, and noticed a text from my mother. "I'm going to cancel your phone if you do not return my calls," she said, to my shock, as she usually can't manage to send a text message on the first try without some stray foreign characters or plus signs in the place of spaces. "This is not a joke," she added, for comedic effect. I rolled my eyes, because it's my mom, and when matters "are not a joke," they tend to concern such pressing issues as my need to vacuum something. Nevertheless, I hurdled my way out of my dorm through the pitch black (Roomie has the lovely habit of turning out the lights and going to sleep at hours during which the summer sky isn't even dark) and found an uncomfortable corner of the stairwell to check in and appease my mother's ever-active nerves.

We talked for half an hour about the world's most important problems, from the death of Patrick Swayze (sad) to the scores of various football teams (who cares?) to the air-quote "friendship" that caused me pain this weekend (whatever). Despite the nature of the conversation, it's comforting to hear her voice from time to time, and to catch glimpses of my dad's lame sense of humor in the background, adding sarcastic statements like, "I'm never buying one of Kanye's albums again," when he obviously has little to no understanding of which artist Kanye West is. After a little bit of I love you too, Mom, and a dash of yes, I'll wake up early enough next week to check out one of the churches, I finally made it off of my cold, echoey stair. When I checked to see how long we'd spoken, I saw a text from my oldest sister. "Are u blogging?" it said, with a lowercase "u" like that, because she's on the oldest edge of our generation, where they think typing like that is cool. "I am waiting."

Sigh. Add to all this the two facebook notifications I just acquired from my other sister and my brother, and you've got yourself one family that's entirely too involved. (It's okay, though, because as much as I hate it, I still really love it. For example, the notification from my brother was a comment on my status about tonight's celebrity death. He says, "Nobody puts Swayze six feet under." Because he's just that funny.)

Anyway, besides all that, nothing much has been going on around these parts. Erin and I have been having a lot of dance parties around our floor, sometimes without music. Michal and I were going to hang out this afternoon, but somehow our plans kept getting waylaid, so that just never happened. Instead, I used my time wisely by downing a carton of Half-Baked ice cream, talking to Sebastian, and getting 100% on an online quiz for my Religion class with limited studying, because growing up in a church has finally paid off in a tangible way!

Speaking of classes, English continues to thrill me. Once again, this morning's two hours of studying poems caused my heart to thud outrageously, and I could practically feel the happiness pulsating in my legs. It took probably seventeen years of my life for me to develop a relationship with poetry, but all of a sudden, John Donne is one of my most important literary influences. I sink into his words like biting into a piece of warm blackberry pie, and I'm overcome with passion and the desire to speak figuratively, and to make crappy analogies like comparing reading to pie. During our short break in the middle of class, I found myself subconsciously scribbling all over my notebook. Terrible teenage rip-your-heart-out poems, lines from Donne that mean little out of context but so much inside a piece, words with which I've developed obsessions. I feel so blessed to know what I love. And, goodness, I love the English language.

I love the English language so much that, even though my Theatre professor continues to gain more of my respect as an insightful, entertaining and endearing man as the classes go on, I became a little bit defensive during his lecture today. Our textbook for Theatre-- the half-inch-thick paperback that cost about a dollar per flimsy page-- is really biased towards its subject, and nearly bashes every other artform. It talks about how film was created entirely for making money, how no movie could ever have the integrity or require the skill of a play, how no novel is capable of accomplishing the same goal as a drama. Now, I love theatre, and some of the book's points are totally valid, but nobody talks smack about novels and films without first messing with me. Perhaps I'm taking things too personally, but I don't think that textbook had any right to ask me to fork over a whole paycheck just so it could preach against my passion, especially when that passion is what's bringing in my income!

Also frustrating was, once again, my Media class. Remember last week when I told you about the professor who seemed knowledgeable and well-spoken, but whose tiny voice put me so far on edge I could barely stand to listen? Well, he attempted to redeem himself this afternoon by wrapping a microphone around his aging body, but, even though I sat in the very front row this time, his quiet voice persisted onward, and fought valiantly to stay annoying. I strained my mind to follow his two-hour lecture, bulging my eyes to will them to stay open, but it was all to little avail. I found myself furiously scribbling notes, not on the topic, but to blog about later. "He doesn't put enough air behind his words," I wrote. "The first syllable comes out in a relatively powerful burst, but then the rest simmers away somewhere in the back of his throat. His microphone does nothing but amplify the little whistles that escape every time he pronounces an S!" It didn't help the situation when he later attempted to show us a movie, but couldn't figure out which cords to plug where, and ended up instead filling the hall with a staticy white noise for the final third of the class period. The speakers' hiss served to drown out the professor's few audible words, and I found myself drifting into a sleepy state. Where there should be notes about the influence of radio on wartime suburban America, I filled columns of my notebook practicing the names of my unborn future children. At some point in my daydreaming, I convinced myself that I will have two daughters and name them Andromeda and Caesura. "LOL, that sucks," Jess said, when I told her about the destinies of her theoretical future pseudo-nieces. "What am I supposed to say? That I'm jealous of the attention your kids are going to steal from mine?" Well... maybe.

So, that was, more or less, my day. I'm on a couch in the study lounge right now, between two girls at round tables, sketching human figures from those little angular wooden models. It's pleasant in here, typing away to the combined cadence of their moving pencils and the distant voices down the hall. Somebody's flushing a toilet somewhere, and someone else is watching some sort of sporting event. As for me, though, it's definitely time to hit the sack. I hope those of you readers who are getting used to a new school year are adjusting, those whose lives are continuing normally are finding little excitements, and those of you who are my relatives are pleased that I've taken the time to update my blog.

Sexy: Modern poet Tony Hoagland. While kind of offensive and rated PG-13 or up, I really enjoy his poem called "Adam and Eve," which I discovered today.
Unsexy: Bigoted youtube commenters. I devoted a bit of time today to replying to nasty comments on old disneykid1 videos, giving some irritating people a few lessons in grammar and kindness.

Chipotle burritos this year: 29
Bagel Street visits this school year: 1 (I promise I'll get on this, Kaitlyn! Haha.)
Subscribers: 20,391

Bye, guys! Hopfully I'll see you tomorrow. <3


Indigo said...

Hi Hayley! It's so nice reading your blog, I think you're so awesome.

to_thine_own_self said...

Believe me, I know completely what it's like to have a too-involved family. Not just my immediate family, oh noooo.
My cousins all comment on my Facebook statuses, my aunts add me on there all the time, and every little move I make on the internet is closely monitored by them to be reported back to my parents because, well, neither my mom nor my dad know how to work a computer.
It's so frustrating, yet sweet. So it makes me feel guilty for hating it sometimes. Ugh. Life...

Casey Rose said...

I'm going to take a second to go temporarily insane (well, moreso than I already am) and tell you that I really appreciate what you write at the end of (almost) every day. I feel strangely connected to a lot of the issues, celebrations, and/or regular goingson that occur in your life.

In short, I look forward to reading every night those few words that remind me that there is life out there. Even if it is in Ohio. Hey, I take what I can get.

Thank you.

Krazy_4_Kelly said...

I feel as if I may be too tired to comment to this by saying anything other than "I love your blog, Hayley" but I will try. My day has felt long and I've been irritating by the amount of work and school that has been keeping me away from reading the Hunger Games so every hour I have been checking your blog hoping to get an update to read in order to make my day better.

That media class sounds horrid. If you're still in the drop period, I'd consider dropping and taking another but if not I say try talking to your professor after class to ask for clarifications. It'll help you understand and get him to remember your name and face and that you care about his class which can only be a good thing.

You're awesome and keep updating this so I can stay sane.


traderbob11 said...

Independent creature? Nobody around here calls you that anymore! We had forgotten all about that.

Yes-I'm insane - come join me, wont ya?

Media class..ask the prof to project, and the boy can't run a projector? Media class? I gotta be thinking the wrong thing here, cause if I'm right, you professor is.. Ahhh an easy F

Later Hayley

to_thine_own_self said...

Ok, so I know I aready commented a little while ago, but I thought I'd check out Tony Hoagland before I turned off my computer for the night.
I googled him and I must say that I do like his poems. You were right, "Adam and Eve" is good.
And I really liked "America".


Holly said...

I have nothing special to write, so I'll just go ahead and say, once again, that you are a brilliant writer and I look forward to your blogs daily! (in a non-creepy way)

jessmcfadden said...


Phyllis said...

this was so well written. it was an absolute joy to read.

Kaedtiann said...

I don't have much to really comment on, so I'm sorry, Hayley.

But I just really, really like the way you put words together, okay? So thanks for stickin' with us bloggies... ers. Whatever.

Eddy said...

I understand about the involved family. I went to college in Seattle, about an hour drive from my family home. My Dad had the habit of just dropping in whenever he was in Seattle. This usually happened about once per week. I guess it is hard to let go of your youngest son.

I truly enjoyed your writting style of this blog. It put a big smile on my face and I read this entry twice!

Now that you are working on the Bagel Street count, I noticed that the Chipotle burrito count is stuck at 29. I can only assume there is no Chipotle in Athens. I'd send you one if I could figure out how to do so. I'm probably 1700 miles away from you.

Laila said...

A friend of mine has this as his status, which I really like and think you'd appreciate too - "He's dirty dancing up in heaven with Jerry Orbach now"

Also, Chipotle was on my campus last week giving away free chips and guacamole and salsa, so I thought about you all through my lunch :)

nicole. said...

i'm glad you're having fun in college, i don't get to move back to mine for another week! it's frustrating.
oh, and my friend thought up this gem:
"nobody sent swayze to the coroner"
yeah, i love tasteless jokes.

Margaret said...

Oh, boy. Caesura can be friends with my kid, whom I've just decided is going to be named Litote. :D

Scott said...

I talked to my Mum on the phone practically everyday last year. It almost made it a chore - she'd ask for new news, and I would literally have nothing. There's nothing wrong with waiting a couple days, letting things build, and have stories accumulate, Mother! XD

And I've mused the idea of naming my child Lemony, so our kids can band together in a weird-name club. They'll have refreshments. Others will be jealous.

disneykid1 said...

You are totes my fave (am I using "totes" and "fave" because I'm too old?).
I'm reliving my freshmen year through you. It was definitely one of the best years of my life. It makes me feel like I'm fifty saying that. I'm not. I'm DK1. I'm a kid forever.

Anonymous said...

'I devoted a bit of time today to replying to nasty comments on old disneykid1 videos, giving some irritating people a few lessons in grammar and kindness.' - Hayley, google should give you a medal for the amount of awesome you contribute to youtube. And the internet in general. This medal probably doesn't exist yet but it SHOULD.

And lol, my family is exactly the same - me and my brother are both at uni but my whole family is so internet-inclined that we talk all the time anyway. I wouldn't have it any other way though, I couldn't cope with all the craziness without them!

Anonymous said...

My family is lucky if I call them once a week. I love them and would willingly call them more often, but all I get to hear about is family drama and I can only deal with that every so often.

On the other hand, I had a housemate whose mom would call her every single night like clockwork. And if her mom hadn't called by a certain time, she'd call her. But she was tight with her family (and her family was paranoid) so it was sweet.

I had a professor a bit like the one you're talking about here. He wasn't old, but he'd wear these extremely colorful turtlenecks (my favorites were plum and burnt orange) and be completely monotone and whisper a bit till he was talking about volcanic and meteor explosions when he would shout BOOM as loud as he could. He also spelt rocks with an 'x' and my favorite quote was "This is a body fossil. B-o-d-y fossil."

MarriageOnTheQuad said...

Tony Hoagland is by far my favorite contemporary poet. The Donkey Gospel, one of his recent collections, made me wish I could write poetry.


P.S. I stand with you as a defender of the novel and the English language. I'm taking a Shakespeare course with a roomful of theater majors who still don't understand the difference between poetry and prose.

Catherine said...

I love when you just add little shout-outs to the things you like. I just googled Tony Hoagland and read a few of his poems. Adam and Eve was good, but I also liked America. Now back to this English work that is calling my name. Senior papers don't write themselves!

Anonymous said...

People who think it's cool to write with "u" are alternately endearing and obnoxious. :D

Involved families are nice. Usually. Though sometimes my mum will email me just to ask "who that person was who commented on your blog", and if I don't reply to an email, she sends me another. I'm okay with it. I'm going to school an hour away from home, though, and I've seen my parents once a week since it started. Dunno if that'll keep up or not.

eibbore said...

I love reading your blog. You are inspirational.

When can we read a hgh novel!? Seriously, DFTBA would publish that.

Kate said...

i have a professor with (what i think is) a speech impediment that causes her to elongate long O sounds (which is no good because it's an "anthopaahhhlogy" class) and it makes me YAAWWWWNNN like crazy. i feel horrible about it, because i LOVE the subject matter and she teaches it well... but how she speaks makes me sleeeppyyyy. :(

VicMorrowsGhost said...

"Somebody's flushing a toilet somewhere"

Really, or is it a... GHOST POOP!

Tom said...

Happy Birthday!!!!!!!! Bwahaha FIRST

Since I was in John's ustream chat. That was exhilarating, not being in a waiting room, and being, like, an equal with hayleyghoover. And Will Grayson! Thrilling. ...And I think you called Sebastian gay? Hahaha.

seurat2 said...

Andromeda, sure. Shortens to Andy, shouldn't cause any great angst in her life. But Caesura? Please, step away from that name slowly, make no sudden moves. You could start wearing a hearing aid for the lectures, that should get his attention. Oh, I know get one of those devices they advertise on tv for old people that you hold in your hand that amplifies the sound. Ok maybe not on sober reflection. See this is the kind of revolutionary thought your blog inspires in me.

Annie said...

Haha. Your brother's Swayze joke was hilarious. This was a TFLN: (404): i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral..."i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn"

Eddy said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAYLEY!!! I know I am early, but I think everyone here should know that on September 16, the world was blessed with the arrival of the awesome Hayleyghoover!!! I hope you have a truly awesome birthday!!

kira902k said...

Hah, your family sounds great. Also, I'm very jealous of most of your classes, although I'm sure I'd want to strangle myself if I had Mr. Quiet Voice.


Allison said...

Love your future child names.
Also, you're lucky that your mom knows how to use all the modern technology; I love my Mommy dearly and wouldn't trade her for anyone in the world, but it takes 5 minutes to send a 15 character txt message on a QWERTY phone. This'll all change in college, I hope lol.

Sarah A.F.Mow said...

Every time I read your blog, Hayley, I feel like I desperately need to update mine. I love, love, love the way you write. It's like pie? he he he. I'm sorry your weekend didn't go terribly well, what with the "friendship" feuds but I'm glad you're alive and well and blogging. =)
You're good stuff Miss. Hoover.

Kaitlyn w/ a K said...

Hahahaha. Oh, gosh. I loved the mention. :-P

I hope your media professor somehow becomes less frustrating. You could try writing him an anonymous email about how he needs to hire someone to read his lecture notes for him. Eh? Maybe?