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Monday, September 21, 2009

Upset and Angry

Studying Donne in my English class has programmed my mind to spew out a constant string of unconventional analogies. And this, dear readers, leads me to say this: Blogging is exactly like exercise. It sounds frightening and painful when you haven't done it in a while, requires a few minutes of warming up, feels good in the middle, and feels even better when you're done. However, it's also super hard to get back in the habit once you've taken a few days off. Unlike Donne, I have a suspicion that I've already made this same comparison in an early blog. If I have, pretend I haven't. If I haven't, you can go ahead and think to yourself, Wow, that Hayley is just so brilliant. I know. I know.

Anyway, I'm alive. I didn't write on Friday because I was eating mass amounts of pizza and watching stupid movies with Michal in her dorm. I got back late, opened my laptop with the intention of updating, and was pulled away by that football player from my high school, because his girlfriend was visiting, and she was fed up with watching him play video games all night. So, to remedy the situation, I... entertained his girlfriend in a room, surrounded by boys playing video games all night. Not exactly the party of a lifetime, but it was still probably healthier than writing to strangers, alone, and falling asleep in my clothes.

Jess and Sebastian came down on Saturday. We did things the Jess-and-Hayley way, meaning that we ate more calories than any of our bodies wanted, and laughed a lot. Jess and Erin hit it off, as I knew they would, and the two of them went on a little adventure while Sebastian and I had some boyfriend/girlfriend time. Later, the four of us went to the hookah bar with PJ (the lonelygirl15 guy), where Jess showed all of us up with her amazing smoke rings. With a tiny nicotine buzz and some dancing, skipping and other revelry, we went to a dumb, stereotypical backyard party because my hometown friends wanted the true OU experience. This resulted in Jess and I singing "Best I Ever Had" with Solo cups in hand, and Sebastian and I mostly breaking up.

Sunday was hard. Leaving Jess the first time was positively miserable three weeks ago, but watching her leave me was unbearable. I now have memories of my best friend in all my school hangouts, and while other people here are awesome, and I love my new life to death, no one else, anywhere, will ever compare to this unbreakable relationship I started before I could write. A genuine liter of tears poured out of me during our goodbye hug, and as I walked away, I had to cup my hand over my mouth so passersby didn't hear my obnoxious choking sobs. It was all different shades of embarrassing and messy and sad as hell. There's nothing melodramatic or exaggerated about my friendship with Jess. She's the single most important person to me, and no amount of consolation will make this amount of separation fully tolerable.

To top it off, Sebastian and I officially broke up right before they left. Before you jump to conclusions, it was for very good reasons, and while we're sad, it was both unavoidable and nobody's fault. I called him this morning, after I had to walk up a huge hill in the rain, immediately after waking up, with a food hangover. Because he's the person I call when I feel like that, and things between us aren't going to change over something so petty. Sigh. It was inevitable, but it just isn't fun.

To top that all off, I'm vicariously pissed for Kristina, whose life is the opposite of fair right now. We've been talking about how excited we are for her to get back home this week, and it only truly hit me tonight that while she's coming back to the ability to call me, she's not actually coming home to me. Why can't the people we love just be close enough to hug? Or throw things with? In fact, why can't the people we need to throw things at be close enough to vandalize their stuff and break their faces?

I'm sorry. I haven't blogged in a few days, because I was worried it would come out like this. My roommate is asleep next to me with her comforter pulled over her head, and I'm pounding angrily on my laptop with the lights on. My mother is being a nagging psycho and texting me every two seconds, demanding that I call her, because my family has the unrealistic expectation that I want to talk to them at all times, and about everything. Ugh. Stop me from punching a wall or something.

Sexy: Nina Jankowicz. She's a great person, so fun to hang out with, and I've been watching her videos nonstop since I woke up today.
Unsexy: Everything else!

Chipotle burritos this year: 31
Bagel Street visits this school year: 4
Subscribers: 20,580

Bye, guys. Maybe I'll see you tomorrow. <3

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Birthday Presents!

I had a fantastic day yesterday! Erin, my roommate, and my friend Katie from Theatre class decorated my room with balloons and banners. I came back from class to find my birthday video from the other awesomegirls, which, in my personal opinion, is the absolute funniest 5AG collab of all time. I laughed out loud innumerable times, setting me on a high that lasted all afternoon and beyond.

My classes dragged on, but I treated myself to an escape from The World's Quietest Professor by taking my laptop. I didn't learn a damn thing about media, but I got to have conversations with Marlena and Leah over Skype, and wrote most of a paper for another class. I think the guy behind me was probably reading over my shoulder, so I sort of regret being so boring. He was looking for adventure, and all I gave him was a Word document and some nerdy poetry analysis.

When my school day was over, I went to my sister's house for dinner. I was greeted by oven-baked s'mores and homemade Mexican food, because Kelly knows me, and she's the freaking greatest. I ate more than I thought I could handle, talked to my parents a bit on the phone, and finished my paper. Nothing was thrilling about it, but it was fun nonetheless. I also received a huge ice cream cake, ordered from my brother, to take back to my dorm. Because, in his words, "Everybody wants to be friends with the kid with the cake."

And indeed! They do! The girls from my floor sat in a circle in the middle of the hallway, brandishing spoons, and we all dug holes and tunnels into the center of the poor thing. Once we were on the verge of puking, we took the cake on a tour of the other floors of our building, offering scoops to eager boys and begging others to take the melting mess off our hands. We left the gloopy platter in front of this one boy's door at the end, because he's creeped on virtually everybody we know. "Thanks for the memories!" we wrote on his dry-erase board. "Love, the girls from the floor below."

The night was topped off by a floor-wide Glee party, and my friend PJ (the one who helped with lonelygirl15) came over to join, bringing a hand-painted watercolor of Elphaba from Wicked for my birthday. I also found presents from Michal and Kayla left on my bed: orange nail polish, yellow nail polish, candy, and other goodies. I got to sleep late, after reading the hundreds of birthday messages I received on facebook, twitter, youtube and this blog. I love each and every one of you! Thank you so much for caring about me!

Today, while less eventful, was still really nice. I was forced into attending a pizza party at a professor's house for one group of the Creative Writing majors, but it ended up being a lot better than I'd imagined. I got a free dinner, and I bonded with a couple of girls from my English class. One of them is even a huge fan of the Potter musical, and she's just great. We were assigned to write up profiles of other members of the class and post them online, and the one she did was really well-written. I seriously want to be friends with her.

Also, I received my birthday packages from my parents tonight! I got a cute raincoat, a big bag of peanut M&Ms that I've already nearly killed, and the world's most gorgeous brown leather Steve Madden boots, just like the ones Hermione wore in the Half-Blood Prince movie! And, better yet, Miley Cyrus owns the same pair. I'm overcome with joy, and can't wait for tomorrow, so I can be Haymileyne.

Sexy: Lauren Fairweather! I had a good phone conversation with her tonight, and every time we talk, I'm reminded by how much I miss her, and what a great person she is. At the same time, I feel like we're exactly the same age, and like she's my big sister. Oh yeah, and she's my favorite musician. But whatever.
Unsexy: "Ooh, I looove Harry Potter," said one girl at tonight's event. "I'm the biggest fan! I've read all the books, and I even went to the latest movie... what was it called? Like, the fifth one? Anyway, I went to see the movie in, like, the first week after it came out."

Chipotle burritos this year: 30
Bagel Street visits this school year: 2
Subscribers: 20,497

Bye, guys! Hopefully I'll see you tomorrow. <3

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Reflections on Age 18

As of right now, as I begin this blog post, I was born exactly nineteen years, twelve hours, and thirty minutes ago. It's strange how slowly this realization has been sinking in for me. When I was younger, I would jump around town for a full month screaming my new age, alerting the neighbors, asking polietely that everyone drop everything to pay me my much-deserved attention. But slowly, the novelty of having lived another year is wearing off. So much that, as I glanced at my phone this morning, I had to think for a second about why my heart had jumped at the date. September 15th? What happens on September 15th? Oh, right. Nothing. My brain has just been conditioned to begin bursting with anticipation for the 16th.

I wish I could compile some kind of sappy tribute to the previous year of my life, complete with detailed accounts of what made it special, but I just don't think I have it in me tonight. I've been doing a lot of homework, talking to a lot of friends, and scarfing a lot of bagel sandwiches. Such strenuous activity can sap up a girl's energy. Instead, however, I will list eighteen frivolous memories, in no particular order, to remind myself of this age. Not because I've given tonight's blog post a ton of thought, but because I know I would hate myself later if I didn't put forth any effort. And so, dear readers, below is my time capsule of the last year.

1. I opened my first real, adult bank account, to which I deposit my real, adult paychecks. And when I visit the bank, nobody gives me a lollipop or plastic dinosaur. (Not that I wouldn't greedily accept either, should the tellers decide to offer them.)
2. I registered to vote in a presidential election. America's first black president was sworn into office while Jess and I walked down the hallway of our high school, and we paused on our way back to class to stare at the clock and count down, "Five, four, three, two, one. HAPPY PRESIDENT!"
3. I entered a sex shop, and while I cringed and closed my eyes for most of the visit, the entire experience was legal.
4. I purchased cigarettes at a Circle K, breaking the heart of the little old man behind the counter who, upon checking my valid ID, knew he had to sell them to me.
5. I grasped my high school diploma, tweeted all kinds of inapporpriate reactions to my newfound freedom, and called every teacher I passed on my escape by his or her first name.
6. I dyed my hair an unnatural color and sometimes dressed outrageously for the amusement of my friends and the shock factor from my public school.
7. I read William Shakespeare's Hamlet for the first time, and subsequently had my life altogether changed by a play.
8. I kissed four boys, and while giggling, pecked each of the other fiveawesomegirls at midnight on New Year's.
9. I peirced my ears.
10. I reached 20,000 subscribers on my personal YouTube channel where, over the last year, I posted thirty-one videos.
11. I managed to never get arrested, get into a bona fide car accident, or acquire a parking ticket... greatly surpassing the world's expectations.
12. I ate some number significantly larger than twenty-nine Chipotle burritos.
13. I made new friends that are like fountains of joy, and weeded out a few old drains.
14. I did something secret and amazing with my best friend. Something you still can't know about, but is still seriously worth noting.
15. I starred in a musical I actually loved.
16. I moved away from my childhood home to a beautiful college campus, where I'm expected to take care of and look after myself. (When my big sister isn't available, of course.)
17. On September 16, 2008, I was genuinely in love. The relationship ended at an undeterminable point during the months to follow, and it took most of the rest of this year to reach the point where I don't operate under a constant state of pain. I'm glad it happened, though, because on September 16, 2009, I will have relearned how to love myself, independent of another's opinions.
18. Less than a year ago, I began writing a blog. At first, it was just a way to pass the time. Now, it is consistently the most relaxing and meditative part of my day.

Eighteen is my lucky number, and I think I did it justice.

Sexy: The free ice cream I picked up this afternoon just from smiling and nodding as a ditzy blonde talked to me about the prospect of joining a sorrority. To be honest, I probably won't. The twist cone, however? Totally worth it.
Unsexy: Having to attend classes tomorrow! Doesn't the university realize it'll be my birthday? They can't expect me to listen to the world's quietest professor on my birthday!

Chipotle burritos this year: 29
Bagel Street visits this school year: 2
Subscribers: 20,408

Bye, guys! Hopefully I'll see you tomorrow, when I'll be a full nineteen years old. <3

Monday, September 14, 2009

Family, Passion, Andromeda & Caesura

It's probably safe to assume that the average college student has to adjust to a life separate from that of his or her family, and that, aside from the occasional phone call or email, that student becomes an independent creature with limited contact with home. Well, let's just say that, in more ways than one, my family is a little bit different.

I finished off a much-needed, therapeutic, I-miss-you-so-much conversation with Kristina this evening over Skype, yawned, and noticed a text from my mother. "I'm going to cancel your phone if you do not return my calls," she said, to my shock, as she usually can't manage to send a text message on the first try without some stray foreign characters or plus signs in the place of spaces. "This is not a joke," she added, for comedic effect. I rolled my eyes, because it's my mom, and when matters "are not a joke," they tend to concern such pressing issues as my need to vacuum something. Nevertheless, I hurdled my way out of my dorm through the pitch black (Roomie has the lovely habit of turning out the lights and going to sleep at hours during which the summer sky isn't even dark) and found an uncomfortable corner of the stairwell to check in and appease my mother's ever-active nerves.

We talked for half an hour about the world's most important problems, from the death of Patrick Swayze (sad) to the scores of various football teams (who cares?) to the air-quote "friendship" that caused me pain this weekend (whatever). Despite the nature of the conversation, it's comforting to hear her voice from time to time, and to catch glimpses of my dad's lame sense of humor in the background, adding sarcastic statements like, "I'm never buying one of Kanye's albums again," when he obviously has little to no understanding of which artist Kanye West is. After a little bit of I love you too, Mom, and a dash of yes, I'll wake up early enough next week to check out one of the churches, I finally made it off of my cold, echoey stair. When I checked to see how long we'd spoken, I saw a text from my oldest sister. "Are u blogging?" it said, with a lowercase "u" like that, because she's on the oldest edge of our generation, where they think typing like that is cool. "I am waiting."

Sigh. Add to all this the two facebook notifications I just acquired from my other sister and my brother, and you've got yourself one family that's entirely too involved. (It's okay, though, because as much as I hate it, I still really love it. For example, the notification from my brother was a comment on my status about tonight's celebrity death. He says, "Nobody puts Swayze six feet under." Because he's just that funny.)

Anyway, besides all that, nothing much has been going on around these parts. Erin and I have been having a lot of dance parties around our floor, sometimes without music. Michal and I were going to hang out this afternoon, but somehow our plans kept getting waylaid, so that just never happened. Instead, I used my time wisely by downing a carton of Half-Baked ice cream, talking to Sebastian, and getting 100% on an online quiz for my Religion class with limited studying, because growing up in a church has finally paid off in a tangible way!

Speaking of classes, English continues to thrill me. Once again, this morning's two hours of studying poems caused my heart to thud outrageously, and I could practically feel the happiness pulsating in my legs. It took probably seventeen years of my life for me to develop a relationship with poetry, but all of a sudden, John Donne is one of my most important literary influences. I sink into his words like biting into a piece of warm blackberry pie, and I'm overcome with passion and the desire to speak figuratively, and to make crappy analogies like comparing reading to pie. During our short break in the middle of class, I found myself subconsciously scribbling all over my notebook. Terrible teenage rip-your-heart-out poems, lines from Donne that mean little out of context but so much inside a piece, words with which I've developed obsessions. I feel so blessed to know what I love. And, goodness, I love the English language.

I love the English language so much that, even though my Theatre professor continues to gain more of my respect as an insightful, entertaining and endearing man as the classes go on, I became a little bit defensive during his lecture today. Our textbook for Theatre-- the half-inch-thick paperback that cost about a dollar per flimsy page-- is really biased towards its subject, and nearly bashes every other artform. It talks about how film was created entirely for making money, how no movie could ever have the integrity or require the skill of a play, how no novel is capable of accomplishing the same goal as a drama. Now, I love theatre, and some of the book's points are totally valid, but nobody talks smack about novels and films without first messing with me. Perhaps I'm taking things too personally, but I don't think that textbook had any right to ask me to fork over a whole paycheck just so it could preach against my passion, especially when that passion is what's bringing in my income!

Also frustrating was, once again, my Media class. Remember last week when I told you about the professor who seemed knowledgeable and well-spoken, but whose tiny voice put me so far on edge I could barely stand to listen? Well, he attempted to redeem himself this afternoon by wrapping a microphone around his aging body, but, even though I sat in the very front row this time, his quiet voice persisted onward, and fought valiantly to stay annoying. I strained my mind to follow his two-hour lecture, bulging my eyes to will them to stay open, but it was all to little avail. I found myself furiously scribbling notes, not on the topic, but to blog about later. "He doesn't put enough air behind his words," I wrote. "The first syllable comes out in a relatively powerful burst, but then the rest simmers away somewhere in the back of his throat. His microphone does nothing but amplify the little whistles that escape every time he pronounces an S!" It didn't help the situation when he later attempted to show us a movie, but couldn't figure out which cords to plug where, and ended up instead filling the hall with a staticy white noise for the final third of the class period. The speakers' hiss served to drown out the professor's few audible words, and I found myself drifting into a sleepy state. Where there should be notes about the influence of radio on wartime suburban America, I filled columns of my notebook practicing the names of my unborn future children. At some point in my daydreaming, I convinced myself that I will have two daughters and name them Andromeda and Caesura. "LOL, that sucks," Jess said, when I told her about the destinies of her theoretical future pseudo-nieces. "What am I supposed to say? That I'm jealous of the attention your kids are going to steal from mine?" Well... maybe.

So, that was, more or less, my day. I'm on a couch in the study lounge right now, between two girls at round tables, sketching human figures from those little angular wooden models. It's pleasant in here, typing away to the combined cadence of their moving pencils and the distant voices down the hall. Somebody's flushing a toilet somewhere, and someone else is watching some sort of sporting event. As for me, though, it's definitely time to hit the sack. I hope those of you readers who are getting used to a new school year are adjusting, those whose lives are continuing normally are finding little excitements, and those of you who are my relatives are pleased that I've taken the time to update my blog.

Sexy: Modern poet Tony Hoagland. While kind of offensive and rated PG-13 or up, I really enjoy his poem called "Adam and Eve," which I discovered today.
Unsexy: Bigoted youtube commenters. I devoted a bit of time today to replying to nasty comments on old disneykid1 videos, giving some irritating people a few lessons in grammar and kindness.

Chipotle burritos this year: 29
Bagel Street visits this school year: 1 (I promise I'll get on this, Kaitlyn! Haha.)
Subscribers: 20,391

Bye, guys! Hopfully I'll see you tomorrow. <3

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Kanye West is a DOUCHEBAG!

To be honest, I've had a bad couple of days. A friend did something really mean to me this week, and it hurt a lot. To add to it, another "friend" said some awful things to me in response to the situation. A long sequence of nasty events followed me around like a cartoonish raincloud for a while, and I've been feeling rather upset about it all. I went out with Michal and Kayla (the cool, smart girls I smoked a hookah with last week) last night, in an attempt to cheer up both Michal and myself, as something similar but worse has been going on in her life. We got dressed up and marched patent leather heels up the Athenian hills, despite our better judgment. The party was a lot more fun for Michal than it was for me and Kayla, and I spent a good portion of the night in a corner outside, on the phone with Jess, nearly crying. I finally stomped back to my dorm in the middle of the night, feelings like I'd been run over by a tractor, crawled over my roommate's friend who was asleep on my floor, and had a few disturbed hours of sleep.

In the morning, my sister called, and I spent the afternoon with her and her friends, eating Taco Bell and watching Cruel Intentions. I took a much-needed nap. With that and the long shower I took a few hours ago, I'm starting to feel like a person again. Erin is mostly responsible for my regained happiness, though. She gave me my birthday present early-- a gorgeous lime green nail polish, proving that she already understands me after barely a fortnight of friendship-- and we had a dance party to Mika and Justin Finch-Fletchley. Now I'm on the dorm floor of Katie and Kelsey, two girls from my building, and we're watching the Video Music Awards with Erin and my roommate. Because I don't want to get into the details of my sucky weekend, instead I think I'll provide my reactions to the ceremony. If you didn't catch the VMAs, I'm sorry, and this post will probably stop being of any interest to you right about now. If you did watch, please comment with your opinions!

--Why do they keep showing the same four celebrities? Is nobody there? For example, eh hem, where is Miley?! I mean... I know where she is. But I still held out hope that she'd be there.
--Madonna's sort of making me nervous. I understand why she would want to make those points, and she certainly has the power and audience tonight, but I think she's probably taking it too far. It's nice that she reminded us Michael Jackson was a human, though. I usually compare him more to one of the crazy alien creatures from Cats.
--The host is supposed to be shocking, inappropriate, and funny. Russell Brand has hit on the first two and then some, but I'm not finding any of this amusing. He's off-putting and taking everything too far.
--...Are you serious? Are you serious?! Who let Kanye West on the stage? Taylor Swift is adorable, and while Beyonce is obviously a legend, the "You Belong With Me" video has been watched millions of times because millions of people relate and connect to her. Celebrities are all mentally unstable, and we accept that. In the case of giant turkey statues and space goggles, I embrace and enjoy their craziness. But you can't abuse your power to humiliate a girl my age for something out of her control! Especially something she deserved! Kanye is a douchebag!
--There you go, Taylor. Her performance is cute and energized. What a graceful way to handle it all. She looked straight out of Carrie up there, like she'd just won prom queen and then had pig's blood poured all over her. But instead of killing everybody with her eyes, she's singing well and looking like a rock star. Represent, Taylor.
--I'm all for Lady Gaga. I think she's insane in the best possible way, and definitely talented when it comes to grabbing attention. But I'm not sure I understand this, um, hanging from the ceiling, covered in blood, surrounded by paraplegics? Nice save from the Taylor Swift thing, though. Hopefully people will be talking about Gaga's weird ass collar and leg-on-the-piano stunt long enough to give Taylor a rest.
--Tracy Morgan! He's awesome and deserves the spotlight. It's unfortunate that his moments are being ignored because of the Kanye Disaster's aftermath.
--Oh my. Oh, Gaga. She's wearing a red fishnet over her body. Like blood. Excuse me?
--The group of girls I'm watching with have been arguing about why Megan Fox gets so much attention, when she isn't even that classically pretty. I've decided that it's because she sort of looks like Satan, what with her little slitty eyes, and therefore subconsciously gives off a "forbidden fruit" vibe. What are your thoughts on the matter?
--My friend Katie just checked twitter, and it's down from all the activity. The trending topics are changing at lightning speed, and everyone in the world has an opinion. Now everyone else is on a laptop, and we're all sitting in a circle, reading tweets. Good luck keeping up with those, Justine!
--The New Moon trailer. Does anyone have a spoon? 'Cause I want to gag myself. They're doing a great job advertising, because I personally cannot wait to see Kristen Stewart thrash around in her bed, screaming, out of holey emotional torture. Good Lord.
--"What? What happened?" asks a laughing Diddy after he mentions Kanye to a cacophony of boos. The crowd chants, "Tay-lor! Tay-lor!" I love live TV.
--"Kanye West is the biggest piece of shit on earth," says Pink of twitter. "My heart goes out to Taylor Swift. She is a sweet and talented girl and deserved her moment. She should know we all love her." I already really liked Pink, and now I think I love her.
--Cyndi Lauper? Hahaha! I wonder what percentage of the audience even recognizes her.
--Oh my gosh! I stand by what I just said. Pink is truly impressive. She's doing a freaking trapeze act and looks amazing at it. This performance on its own would be enough to make the VMAs memorable.
--Awwwww. We knew you'd redeem everything, Beyonce. Taylor looks beautiful and I think the situation was handled in the classiest way possible.

Okay, I think that's about enough. I've made it through a sleeve of Ritz crackers, and I have class in the morning, so I'm going to bed. I need a rest!

Sexy: Brushing your teeth in the shower. I know it sounds weird, but all the water creates a really intense foam explosion, and your mouth feels so clean and fantastic!
Unsexy: Kanye West! It sucks, because I actually respect his music. But there he goes, being a psycho. He makes Lady Gaga's prickly straw mane look attractive.

Chipotle burritos this year: 29
Bagel Street visits this school year: 1
Subscribers: 20,372

Bye, guys! Hopefully I'll see you tomorrow. <3

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Some More on the Ghosts, and Bullets

One thing about college that's less than thrilling is the fact that teachers expect you to read hundreds of pages in two nights. I'm currently sitting cross-legged on my bed, twisted around cords and wires from my laptop and phone, glancing helplessly at the dog-eared third of my Theater textbook I'm supposed to read by tomorrow afternoon. I want to brush the stale taste out of my mouth. I want to snap my fingers and have the pages magically seep into my brain. I want to pee. But, more than anything else, I want to blog quickly.

In bullet form, today I:

--Woke up around ten, spent a few hours lounging around the room with the shade pulled down and the lights turned off, watching videos and eating the perishables out of the minifridge. Painted my nails, took way too long a shower, paid too much for more required school supplies, lazed my way to class.
--Discussed religious misogyny with an actually diverse group: a Buddhist, a Jewish girl, a starch Atheist, an evangelical, a half-ethnic Muslim, and several shades in between.
--Made a fiveawesomegirls video, showing off my dorm.
--Had dinner with Katie, the girl from my floor/theater class.
--Spent way too long talking to Sebastian on Skype and a few seconds doing the same with Jess.
--Discovered old diaries from middle and high school, taking me back on first dates, through embarrassing horror stories, and to some really terrible metaphors.
--Sighed loudly and considered hitting "PUBLISH POST" prematurely just so I can feel like I've accomplished something.

In other news, the ghost stories get creepier. The girls next door couldn't get their door to open from the inside, and my roommate couldn't manage to pull it open into the hallway, either. Another girl from our floor reports showers turning themselves on, which reminds me that the other day, I assumed I'd accidentally hit a shower as I walked by, though I hadn't felt myself knock the handle. And, because we're not nervous enough already, a bunch of us are going to go visit the creepy hospital remains this weekend. *scary music*

Sexy: The fact that, even though it's a lot of reading, I get to do homework for a class about theater.
Unsexy: The fact that my roommate just turned the light off, at ten, despite the fact that I'm obviously doing homework and have to maneuver my way down from the bunk at least twice more.

Chipotle burritos this year: 29
Bagel Street Visits this school year: 1
Subscribers: 20,278

Bye, guys! Hopefully I'll see you tomorrow. <3

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

GHOSTS! and Classes

Oh, blog. Follow my lead and pull on a hoodie, slip into your leopard-print slippers, and grab your own plate of pizza rolls, because I have so much to tell you.

I'm sure some of you will remember my brief description about why OU is considered one of the most haunted places in the United States. The campus is surrounded by cemeteries, which form a pentagram from an aerial perspective, and the city of Athens at one time housed a large, unethical mental hospital with the nasty habit of torturing and lobotomizing its patients. The hospital was closed, suddenly, one day. Some of its buildings were demolished and university buildings were built upon the land on which they once stood. Other parts of the hospital remain, untouched and unvisited, except by the hundreds of daring and drunk students willing to risk being arrested each year. Since the founding of Ohio University in 1804, students have been reporting creepy goingson and telling ghost stories about supposed supernatural experiences. Some claim certain words will jinx you if uttered in the wrong corner of campus, or that you can hear a bag of marbles being poured on the marble floor late at night in one of the residence halls. The most irksome rumor to me is that past students have committed suicide by jumping off roofs after becoming possessed. It's true that OU has had its fair share of such suicides over the decades, but I think that it probably started with one person, who lent the idea to others, who followed suit to be poetic or something. Either way, I've never made up my mind as to whether or not I believe in ghosts, because I've never had any reason to care. That is, I didn't have a reason to care... until a few days ago.

Roomie and I have gone to sleep early this week, so we've both been in bed with the TV on and lights off for a good length of time each night. One night, after we'd settled down and closed our eyes, a light above our dresser popped on. For a second, we each assumed the other had gotten up without our noticing, but it soon became apparent that anyone capable of reaching the switch was under her covers. We laughed about it together, chalking it up to living in an old building with faulty wiring, and Roomie got off her bottom bunk to turn the light off. I remembered the event the next morning while I got ready for the day, and tried to turn the light on again so I could see in the mirror better. It wouldn't turn on. I dismissed this, once again, because our cinderblock walls and dirty linoleum floors don't exactly add up to living in the lap of luxury.

It was the next night that things got strange. I tried desperately to fall asleep, but found myself flopping agitatedly from side to side and glancing at the clock at frequent half-hour intervals, well into the night. Every time I approached rapid eye movement, I'd bolt upwards to the sound of my phone, on my desk below, ringing. I wanted to strangle whoever found it necessary to keep calling me at all hours, and I knew it had to be a friend, since I have family and emergency numbers use a different ringtone. I couldn't make out the words of the ringtone, playing over and over again, but I knew from the bit of sound that reached me on my bunk-- the sound of a female voice, sing-chanting-- that it was "That's Not My Name." The next morning, after I groggily stumbled down from my bed, I grabbed my cell phone, irritated, to find out who had found it so necessary to reach me at 3:30AM. No missed calls. And the volume was off.

I've never been able to hear music from any surrounding room at any hour of the day, even when I've been silent at my desk, so I ruled that out. Last night, I purposefully left the volume on my phone, risking bothering my roommate, so I could hear if the noise was coming from some other source. As I cuddled into bed, and Roomie did the same below me, the overhead light for our entire room shut off, leaving us in the pitch black. We wrote it off as the lightbulb dying, and flipped the switch a few times to be sure. Nothing changed, so we went to sleep. This morning? It works perfectly fine.

The obviously natural response to something like this is to alert facebook, so last night, I made my status, "OUR ROOM IS HAUNTED!" I received a few curious comments in response, as well as a link from my friend Leah's mom to some sites that detail the reported hauntings of OU. I did a little bit of research after visiting these sites and, of course... (cue the creepy music) in my very building, several other girls have reported hearing women's voices talking, appliances turning themselves on and off, and unusual, unexplained insomnia.

dum Dum DUUUUUM!!!

Anyway, on a less freaky note, I had three new classes today. My first, a literature class required of freshman English majors, didn't sound too promising in its course description, which included phrases like "textual analysis," but I went in with the hopes that it would be bearable. BEARABLE! It turns out that we're going to be studying John Donne to great depth, and we're required to buy his complete works. So, you know, it's only a class on my favorite poet! This morning, we discussed "The Flea," and while I've read it before, going over it in a room full of people who share my knowledge and passion, with a professor who's, for once, significantly smarter than I am, caused my heart to flutter. I truly spent the whole hour beaming, and rushed to eat lunch alone so I could slurp up the supplementary reading. Finally!

I shimmied into Theater, still smiling like I'd won a Jamaican vacation, and was further pleased to find one of the girls from my floor, Katie, in the same class. We had a fun conversation about the merits (me) and absurdities (her) of Spring Awakening, the hilarity of putting on musicals in small high schools like ours both were, and Into the Woods, in which we both had leads as seniors. We were making plans to watch the premier of Glee together when a large, sweaty man entered from the back of the classroom, slinging a stack of papers in the crook of his arm and apologizing for being, what I hadn't even noticed was, twenty minutes late. He hoisted himself onto the counter and asked an unfortunate girl in the front row to maneuver the labyrinth of desks and legs and bags to pass out our syllabi, which consisted of a disorganized, unstapled pile. The professor proceeded to insist that we call him by his first name and ask us to, please, swear as loudly, offensively, and often as we wish. Requirements for the class include attending awesome campus play productions and reading the textbook, which, while disgustingly expensive, is surprisingly entertaining. Another course that I can definitely get used to.

As for Mass Media... we'll see. It meets in a giant lecture hall, but due to some strange scheduling mishap, there are only about thirty of us for a couple hundred seats. I sat myself in the front third of the hall, thinking I was being a good student by reserving a responsible, interactive chair. The professor was this older Flitwick-type character who quietly told us not to move if we didn't feel like it, so we naturally assumed he'd be using the microphone sitting there on his podium, and that I'd still be relatively near the front of the class. Oh, but it didn't work out that way. No, instead, he delivered his two-hour lecture in the world's quietest voice, barely opening his mouth, to the point that I was leaned forward as far as possible and holding my hair out the way from my ears, in hopes that I'd catch every other word. The row behind me followed suit, asking each other for clarification and sulking, whereas those in the back gave up entirely and closed their eyes. When the professor paused for a second, I jumped down a couple of rows, until I was practically in his face, and I still had a hell of a time making out his sentences and not drifting into an afternoon nap. If there's anything I hate more than seeing things done slowly or unnecessarily gently, it's seeing them down quietly. I was crawling out of my skin. If the few words I heard from the man hadn't been so brilliant and well-worded, I would have given up. And at least he was speaking quietly, because had he whispered, I would have yanked out all my hair and outright left. So what did we learn today, kids? When people tell you to sit in the front of lecture classes, LISTEN TO THEM.

I go back to Religion tomorrow, and then have Theater again and my Freshman Seminar on Friday, but then I'll have scoped out all my classes. Michal, Kayla and I just went uptown to get some more of our textbooks, and then Michal and I went to the "artsy" coffee house and played with a box of Trivial Pursuit from 1980. "What bird produces the largest egg?" I asked, reading that the answer was the ostrich. Michal replied matter-of-factly, "Pterodactyl." I slipped the card back into the box, nodded, and said, "Correct." It's as if we put in a combined effort to form pricelessly funny conversations that are strictly for our private pleasure. I like her.

I'm now going to have a few Oreos and dip them into milk until they're soggy and deteriorating, because they're best that way, but my dad always found it gross enough to yell at me for trying. I'm then going to watch Glee with Katie from Theater class and any other available musical fans, brush the cookie from my teeth, and snuggle into bed with some John Donne. Pray no dead mental patients possess my body in my sleep!

Sexy: The atmosphere of cafes, though I don't actually drink coffee or condone the practice of purchasing drinks the price of burritos. The mismatched plush furniture, old lamps, light jazz and company, however, I can totally go for.
Unsexy: Washing dishes in a stationary tub in the bathroom. Guess what I'm off to do?

Chipotle burritos this year: 29
Bagel Street visits this school year: 1
Subscribers: 20,241

Bye, guys! Hopefully I'll see you tomorrow. <3