I'm in a bad mood. I'm jittery and anxious. I have an unstarted paper due tomorrow morning. And the only thing I can stand to do, for some reason, is blog. However, having spent all day driving back to school, I'm in that weird state where my brain is exhausted but my body is restless... so this will come in a list of whiny bullet points.
Reasons to Whine:
--Every February, there's a weekend at OU when students have their younger siblings come visit, and my big brother (an Ohio University graduate himself) made plans to join the little ones this year and come down to hang out. We were all (one of my sisters is here, too, as a senior) looking forward to it for a long time. I was super excited for the last weekend of the month... until I realized that I'd gotten the dates wrong. Sibs' Weekend started this last Friday. The same Friday that I'd made solid plans to meet my boyfriend's family. When I realized my mistake, I hesitantly let my brother know that I wouldn't be in town for his visit... and he was pretty irritated and upset. My brother doesn't get irritated and upset with me. It feels really wrong and sad.
--Before meeting my boyfriend's parents and sister (who are positively LOVELY people; so kind to me and truly adorable), I practically made myself sick, worrying that they wouldn't like me. I'm embarrassed just to admit that, but it's true-- I've always been sort of self-conscious about whether or not I'm liked, and I managed to give my normally clear face four mountainous zits from stress. The worry is over now, but the bumps on my chin and lip remain.
--As my school and his work are located far apart, I don't get to see The Situation a third as often as I'd like to, and saying goodbye really doesn't get any easier with practice.
--I went home for the rest of the weekend, and since a few of my school friends live near my house, I happily offered to drive them, and ended up taking one of my sister's friends with us. And. Well. How can I properly describe this guy to you? When he first entered the car, he was on the phone. Through the loud speaker, I heard a voice ask, "How's Kelly's sister?" to which the boy responded, "Eh, she's like a cute seven." I'm going to assume that he meant that, on a scale from one to ten, I rank at seven. Now, I'd probably call MYSELF a "cute seven," so that alone wouldn't have bothered me much, but this guy went on to give me driving advice ("Wanna pass this truck already?"), respond to questions by saying "word," which I was unaware was something people actually DID, and to make a variety of vile statements which I will not dignify by repeating. I was irate by the time I dropped him off at his parents' mansion, and overjoyed when he found another ride back to Athens today.
--My oldest sister and brother-in-law took my parents on a little mini-vacation this weekend to celebrate their birthdays, and my brother and other sister were at OU, so I had the house all to myself for Saturday and Sunday. I wasn't too thrilled about this, but I was looking forward to having time to devote solely to my friends. I hung out with Lor and Jess for part of Saturday morning, and was excited to inform them that they could sleep over, so we could eat and talk all night. But... they had other plans. Other plans with friends from THEIR school. I don't know. It's one thing to feel left out when you hear about the fun your childhood friends are having without you from several hours away, but realizing that they have a life that simply doesn't involve you, even when you're around, is kind of depressing.
--Due to the previous bullet point, I spent Saturday night all alone, watching old episodes of Sex and the City and feeling very conscious of my loneliness. At one point, I yelled several times for my dog, and she didn't come. She was sitting in the other room. Just couldn't be bothered to lift a paw to respond, even when she only sees me every couple of weeks. Thanks, Lexi.
--My friend James wanted to try a new route back to school today, and I listened to him, because he was the one holding a map. Everything appeared to be going fine, until James revealed that he's dyslexic and had read off the wrong exit number, and we found ourselves in rural West Virginia. I mean, it was okay. We figured out how to get back fairly quickly and painlessly-- but not until after we made a pit stop and were begrudgingly served by a gas station attendant with some kind of personal vendetta against Ohio. "Ya'll lost on your way to Ohio University?" she'd asked. We confirmed her suspicions with a nod, to which she sucked her teeth and replied, "I hate people from Ohio." On the bright side, we all made it out alive. On the downside, it would have made an awesome horror story if we hadn't.
...That was an awful and unfunny thing to say. I'm clearly tired.
Anyway, I wish there were some kind of conclusion to this all, in which I'd tell you how much my day has improved, and how content I am now. But in reality, I just feel a little bit calmer for having let all my thoughts out, and a little bit more worried about that paper I haven't started writing. So. Sorry for being a downer. Here's hoping that tomorrow will be better.
Chipotle burritos this year: 6
Nail color: "Taupe-less Showgirls," OPI (discontinued)
Miles run today: 0, but I went for a psychotic walk in my pajamas before sitting down to write this, because I had so much steam to burn off.