Tuesday, February 16, 2010

I Found Alaska

The campus gym (I can never say the word "gym" without feeling like a douchebag. It's like hearing people order drinks "on the rocks." I know that's what it's called, but it always makes me roll my eyes) is always especially crowded on Mondays, because it may be the only day of the week on which the majority of students aren't drunk. After my five-mile run (mmm, yeahgurl), I was looking for a place to stretch, and the only available plot was in front of one of those enclosed racquetball courts with a glass wall, and I couldn't help but stare at the people inside the little compartment. It was like watching anatomically complex fish.*

Behind the wall, a girl was sitting on the floor, ignoring the net and balls and whatnot, while a boy stood, talking to her, juggling tennis balls. The boy was tall, kind of lanky, but not uncute, with floppy brown hair and a Ghostbusters t-shirt. He seemed very determined to look casual, but was clearly attempting to impress the girl with his mad skillz. The girl didn't look captivated by his performance, but she seemed comfortable, with her legs stretched out in front of her. She was skinny-but-curvy, and she was noticeably pretty-- in the somewhat emo way, even though her clothes, makeup and hair were all natural.

I'm not a total creeper-- at first, my excuse for staring was that I thought I recognized the girl. Maybe we had a class together? But as I sat there, studying the two of them, I realized my interest was sort of weirdly intense. Why did I care so much? What was so remarkable about these two strangers?

And then I realized. I don't know them, but I know Pudge Halter and Alaska Young!

For those of you who haven't read John Green's Looking For Alaska, I apologize for leaving you out. To make a long and very pointless story shorter: today, I saw some strangers who resembled the main characters of a good book. It was cool.


Not much has happened since I last wrote, but I did have a bit of a shocking epiphany the other day, as I was having my hair done in a fancy salon (thanks, Mom!) by a girl who is my age. She's my age, and she has her Real Job. I'm my age, and I'm picking up change by broadcasting my life to the internet, all while pursuing a career that relies mostly on luck. One from which I could easily never profit. One that makes people put their heads in ovens.**

I'm not asking for reassurance or anything; I'm fairly confident that, someday, I'll be able to make the whole writing thing work out. It's just sort of daunting. I'm no longer that sassy, obnoxious kid correcting her third grade teacher's punctuation. My proud declarations of, "I'm going to be an AUTHOR when I grow up!" have officially gone from stirring reactions like, "Dream big, little girl!" to, now, receiving quizzical looks and comments like, "I see. And what's your REAL JOB going to be?" Sigh. That's a good question, metaphorical adult woman with concern for my future! We'll see!

In other news, I had a very good Valentine's Day. I proudly wore the adorable and thoughtful present that I received earlier this month (as brilliant and attentive as he is, my boyfriend hasn't quite gotten the hang of surprises yet), and pretty flowers were delivered to my door this afternoon! I feel sort of guilty for being one of those gushy Relationship People now, especially because I've been in the shoes of the Lonely and Angry People in previous years, so just know this: if you're resenting the fact that your significant other didn't do anything special yesterday, I've been there before. If you hung out with friends all day, carried on with your everyday life, or sat alone with a book and Ben & Jerry's, I've been there before, too. If you want to punch me in the face, go for it. But, if you're one of the lovely, kind commenters who actually ENJOY hearing me gush, thank you! I have a good man, and I'm happy. :)

Anyway, it's 12:53 AM. PJ's sleeping over, so I'm sitting in the dark, blogging as a shadowy figure, while a cuter, gayer shadowy figure types a cuter, gayer blog next to me. I think it's time to sleep. Have a good night, everyone!

Chipotle burritos this year: 5
Subscribers: 24,888
Nail color: "Symphony in Gold," OPI
Miles run today: 5

*Jess was in my tenth grade Biology class, so, needless to say, I didn't exactly learn anything. I have little to no idea what "anatomically complex" means, nor whether fish have... simple... anatomy. Basically, I wanted to use a polysyllabic phrase that was vaguely scientific to make me sound well-rounded. If, instead, I sound like a douchebag, you have my permission to make fun of me all you want.
**Sylvia Plath. F'realzies.


PJ Scott-Blankenship said...

Can I make fun of you all I want anyway? TOO LATE.

Sarah A.F.Mow said...

Yeah, Pjay is freaking adorable. Will you do me a favor and yell that at him any time he tries to insult himself? Try to work the word "luff" with the "F"s and everything.

I feel pretty terrible asking you, Hayley, whom I've never met to do all of these favors for me. I probably just misused "whom." I don't take that fact lightly, no I do not. Anywhoozle.

I love hearing people gush. It's really nice and sweet. I'm naturally one of those annoying kind of people who shares too much, too often and gushes a lot ( just ask Pj..) so, it's honestly up my alley. Even in blog comments I can't muster up enough complicatedness to make myself seem like a human being. AWESOME.

Last semester, your blogs got me through English 101. I hated that class, it made me want to die because I can write better than that. I know, I'm being a cocky dbag, but Mondays are for dbags? I dunno... Thank you for returning just in time for another round. I know this sounds TERRIBLY selfish because you must need time to yourself and to Mike and to PJ and the other people in your life but, with the only intention being gratitude, I thank you. Really and truly and probably annoyingly to. Roll your eyes Miss Hoover! Roooool 'em at my gushh.

Love? Are we there in our relationship? I don't think so...


joy isobel said...

Flowers to your doorstep? Classy move, manfriend of Hayley. Oh, and that's totally happened to me too! I'll see people that resemble characters in books, some that I never really thought twice about. I think this is especially prevalent with Harry Potter characters considering the fact that there are so many distinct ones. Buuuut it's late, and I should go to sleep now. Have fun at your sleepover with PJ!

allysonkate said...

Uh oh, Hayley. You know your history with calling deaths. What if you find out (SPOILER) that this Alaska girl dies in a few days? Your. Fault. JUST like it's your fault Michael Jackson died. ;]]

And gush away, sista. Flaunt what you've got! hah.

Keshara said...

It's true, the future is a scary concept. I've told everyone throughout my whole life that I'm going to be an artist when I grow up, and I still get the strangest reactions when I tell people I'm an art major. I figure that if I reach for my dream far enough everything will all work out the way it's supposed to in the end.

BenCracknell said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
BenCracknell said...

If I saw what I thought to be Pudge and Alaska, I don't think I would be able to restrain myself! I would HAVE to go and take photos with them!
Ugh, Hayley, you never fail to make me smile with girly, I'm-so-happy-for-you-that-you-have-a-perfect-man, when you talk about just how gushy you relationship; I'm happy for you!
Also, I know completely how you feel! Every time the inevitable question comes up, "What will you do when you're older?" People just look at me wide eyed when I simply say, "Author."
OH! P.S-- I have the Scientific understanding of a toad, so if it's any constellation, I had no idea what that anatomy complexity crap is, anyway.

Have a good day!

Ginny said...

5 miles? High five, fellow running/athletic/whatever/I don't know where this is going/person ...

Yeah. Awkward.

Anonymous said...

Sylvia Plath didn't commit suicide because she was a writer, she killed herself because of complex problems she had battled with all her life. Comparing yourself to her because you hope to share the same occupation is trivialising the issue entirely.

thealphabet said...

Hey, I started reading your blog in the way back, the beginning, before the influx of readers, and I felt like a creeper, and you thanked me for the comment I made in the way back, but time happens and I don't know you, so I have no particular investment in your life, but after reading some again, I'm glad to see you posting again. Your blogs are sincere, and funny, and beautifully written.

Wanting to use polysyllabic words is no crime.

Congrats on your 5 miles!

I think if you are kind to the present, the future repays you with the same.



Anonymous said...

I've adapted the nickname Alaska, after the book. My blog is called "Just Call Me Alaska".
You got my hopes up.
Haha, I love you. And you have such a great writing style... You will totally become an author someday, and I will totally buy your book XD

Emily said...

I'm pretty sure your Sylvia Plath reference just made my roommate and I want to marry you. Any chance of you moving to Vermont soon? ;D

And while I spent the day eating chocolate in a library ... I am glad that you had a good V-day!

A.J. James said...

I too am very lucky in love and I am so happy that you are happy... My Valentine's Day was Spectacular!!!

Anonymous said...

I had an eerily similar experience to your Pudge-and-Alaska sighting! It was my college orientation weekend, and I kept seeing this girl I didn't know, and I couldn't place her. At all. I thought she was SO familiar, but I couldn't figure out why, because we'd definitely never met. And I realized after about three days that she looks EXACTLY like my mental picture of Margo Roth Spiegelman.

Also, I feel like I should add that even though I am single, I don't mind your gushing. You're happy. It's adorable. Problem solved.

Anonymous said...

I'm an aspiring author majoring in history, and my conversations with adults I meet almost invariably run:

Them: "So, have you picked a major yet?"
Me: "Yeah. History."
Them: "History, huh? What are you going to do with that, teach?"
Me: "No, I want to be a writer."
Them: "But what are you going to do for your real job? Teach?"
Me, trying to be polite: "I don't know."

Good God.

Anonymous said...

You are totally not weird for being intrested in the two strangers. People watching is totally normal, however blatently staring is...little bit creepy. :]
Its all good. Your very sweet and cute. I just started reading your blog and its very enjoyable. Yay You! and Keep being Happy! You make the world a little bit britter.

Anonymous said...

If you ever complete your book, just know that you have one reader in me :]
I'm sure you'll make it big, and just think your already building your fanbase!

AccioCrr said...

There's this commercial on TV for...I actually don't know what it's for. But there's a kid, about 10-11 years old. He has black messy hair and green eyes and round glasses, and every time he turns around I'm desperately looking for an odd shaped scar. I think I've found the right replacement for Daniel Radcliffe if they ever make a new series of HP films.
Oh, aren't we* calling the Situation the Situation now?!

And you already know we all adore your gushing. I personally can't wait to see it on paper, with a nice pink cover with flamingos**. All ridiculousness aside, you'll be a remarkable writer.

*And by "we", I obviously mean you. This is sort of pointless, but I've always wanted to use a star.
**Whenever I imagine you, you're followed by a flock of flamingos while wearing a pink wig. Jus' sayin'.

Best Wishes, Corina

AccioCrr said...

There's this commercial on TV for...I actually don't know what it's for. But there's a kid, about 10-11 years old. He has black messy hair and green eyes and round glasses, and every time he turns around I'm desperately looking for an odd shaped scar. I think I've found the right replacement for Daniel Radcliffe if they ever make a new series of HP films.
Oh, aren't we* calling the Situation the Situation now?!

And you already know we all adore your gushing. I personally can't wait to see it on paper, with a nice pink cover with flamingos**. All ridiculousness aside, you'll be a remarkable writer.

*And by "we", I obviously mean you. This is sort of pointless, but I've always wanted to use a star.
**Whenever I imagine you, you're followed by a flock of flamingos while wearing a pink wig. Jus' sayin'.

Best Wishes, Corina

tigressflowers said...

I have also wanted to be an author since forever. I am not however a grammar nazi, lol :D

I decided at some point that my 'back up' was to be a librarian, since I realize getting published is a difficult thing, and I know that I want to be around books for the rest of my life.

I know how you feel, the whole having a great relationship and wanting to talk about it, I had an amazing Valentine's Day at the zoo with my bf of three years, this is the first one we have actually celebrated though. (I think he's realized I'm not leaving him, lol. He has never had a relationship last more than two years, until me.) But I can't gush to my friends about how happy I am because most of them are single and miserable, and it makes me sad that I can't, because to them it would just be me rubbing it in their faces that they havn't found anyone yet.

Jazzy Jazz said...

Hayley, I'm happy for you.

idyllic said...

I knew I know that reference to the oven! I just couldn't remember the actual person, hah. Love the sidenotes. :D

Anonymous said...

I really enjoy reading your blog.:)

Tristan said...

Wait, so PJ's out of the closet now? I've kinda known for a while, on your formspring in quick succession someone asked who your favorite gay guy was, you said you couldn't tell, and then someone asked why you don't date PJ, to which you answered "you're not really his type." Oh yeah. I'm observant.

Eileen said...

Yeah, I hate the stigma that being a writer = being suicidal/depressed all the time. People only focus on the negative things in regards to any career in the arts - Sylvia Plath sticking her head in an oven, Van Gogh cutting off his own ear, Virginia Woolf drowning herself (and her body being found by a couple young kids a few days later... yeah).

I, personally, tend to think that these people who say "Oh, writing isn't a real job" are just jealous.

Paloma said...

It's so cool that you found Pudge and Alaska! - I love the fact that they are like real people for me -.

Hayley, you make me feel bad about myself.Tomorrow I'll got to the gym. :) *rolls eyes* ha-ha!

I'm glad you had a nice Valentine's Day. Don't worry about all that jelous people... they have nothing better to do!

Anonymous said...


Kristen said...

Hayley, you get me through the days left until I too can run away to college and be freeeeeee. I know, I know, I'm a year older but since I'm getting my associate's degree at a community college (majoring in journalism, hello politely puzzled stares and disapproving shakes of the head) - I've yet to leave the nest.

You even insprired me to start writing again. Something I took a temporary hiatus from, even though I've been dreaming up characters since I could form coherent thoughts. And it's the only thing I'm TRULY passionate about.

Harry Potter is something that got me through my late tweens/early teens. I found a family on the forums of and helped complete the goal of the One Million for the Prisoner of Azkaban thread. Don't know if you ever saw it...

Anyway, I just wanted to say that I admire you and look forward to your videos (and now that I've discovered your blog, I look forward to this too) and I've been having a rough time of it lately. I know, I know. Things are rough all over. (Quick! Name that book. 5... 4... 3...) but this blog made me feel equally as good as the Disney song dance party I held in my room to let off steam earlier.

best wishes,

Melody said...

About seeing book characters in real life, I mean.

Recently, in my history class, I was watching this group of four sort of band-geeky guys in my class, and when suddenly it hit me how strikingly similar the four of them were to James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter. It was uncanny.

Since then, I've been looking around my school for a Severus and a Lily. I haven't found them yet, but they must be around.

kira902k said...

See, I am that one who sits alone with a book and Ben & Jerry's but that's WHY I'm also the one who enjoys you gushing. If we can't be happily in love (or in like for that matter) then we might as well live off of others' happy relationships. ;)

Hah that sounded really depressing. But yes. I'm happy for you :D

And one of my friends looks/is EXACTLY like Alaska Young. It's great.

Merry living


Kate said...

i totally know the quizzical look that people give you when you tell them your major.
anthropology major, here.
most people don't know what anthropology is (i got asked if it was the study of ants, last year) let alone what you can do with it other than be poor, and live in a stylish/trashy box.
you go girl, with your happy relationship time, and your pudge-and-alaska gym experience, and your faith in your writing. :)

serenamurison said...

Oh Hayley,
There is not a single blog that puts a smile on my face quite the way that yours does.i

Kai said...

I really enjoy reading your blog, and I don't mind that you've gone from relationship hater to relationship being-in . .er? Anyways, I spent my Valentines Day at the movie theatre watching Valentines Day (the movie), just so I could say that I saw it then. Pathetic?

I hope you and 'the situation' are doing well =]

Anila said...

Yeah dude, people will never stop giving you shit for being an English major. I'm in my second semester of my sophomore year as a declared English major and now the scoffs and judgmental looks just sort of run together in a blur of I-don't-give-a-fuck. Because finding a way to survive is easy, doing something to make that survival worthwhile isn't. So keep on keepin' on, ignore the haters.

I realize this comment sounds vaguely ghettofabulous, for which I apologize, but only half-heartedly.


Scott said...

I feel so proud of myself for knowing the Sylvia Plath reference before reading the asterisk. BAMB.

I'm always boggled that people my age already have their real jobs. I'm two years of university down, probably four more to go. IM JEALUZ OF THEYRE LYFES.

Emily said...

I spent Valentine's Day watching horror movies with my friends because we're all single. I'm usually pretty okay with being single, but something about Valentine's Day and the way that every. single. commercial. is rubbing my singleness in my face makes me feel a bit lonely.
That being said, I love hearing you gush because you seem so genuinely HAPPY that it makes me happy, too. :D

That bloggers blog said...

i feel i should share this with u the future never comes you just wake up and relise your old one day its made of tomorows and usually those are filled with fun and interesting or completely terrifying things, theres no way to tell whats going to happen but you can live in the now and create great memories so if it helps the future isn't that scary its just living well thats the way i see it im glad your valentines day was good

Bel Glezer said...

How overwhelming it must be to read pages and pages of delightful comments on your pernonal-life-based blog, permeated with excellent English, while regarding nothing in particular...

Maybe I'm not quite used to this corner of the internet, but it sounds absolutely sweet!
By the way, if someone willingly visits your blog, he (or she -- mostly shes, I suppose) has no reason to complain or punch you in the face on account of your "gushing"...
And that's pretty much it -- I bet all of your followers are incredibly happy for you, while struggling with a little, albeit healthy, jealousy ; )

Gush away and be happy! We've all had our fair share of Ben and Jerrie's on Valentine's Day, Hayley!


Emma said...

I love you and I love how I knew about Plath before the footnote. HOO HAH, NERDFIGHTERS!

I would be one of the commenters who loves the gushing and then loves to eat Ben and Jerry's after hearing it all. You're too articulate to stop, and it makes me feel happy inside. As I eat Ben and Jerry's of course. I'm not sure if it's the ice cream or your words, but either way, I love your rants!

Can we haz link to PJ's cuter, gayer blog? Please?

Katie said...

I love hearing you gush because it makes me feel less guilty about loving to gush to everyone as well. Last year my boyfriend and I took a secret epic road trip for the weekend. This Valentines Day we ate pizza and built and decorated a Sims mansion for our little virtual family. If pizza and computer games aren't Love, I don't know what is. :P

Nokorola said...

Good to know that your St. Valentine's Day was good Hayley.

5 mile run? You go girl!

Hayley, what are you going to do for your fake job?

Have an Awe filled rest of the week Hayley.

Emiko Mae said...

hey hayley i know you check your blog comments so i wanted to ask here, could you check your e-mail?

Alice said...

I enjoy your gushing, it gives me hope that all of this high school horribleness is not forever

Christina said...

I just started to read Looking for Alaska and when you started to describe them that is what I started to think of. This makes me glad that I finally bought the book and reading it.

The Vagabond said...

That's awesome about the Alaska Young and Miles Halter look-a-likes! There's a girl in my Italian Vegetarian cooking class who looks exactly like Margo Roth Spiegelman.

Alex Cee said...

At least you have a good reason for watching those two people. I just watch intently without excuse.

Also, I know you're pain. I'm a Theatre major. When I tell people, they stop speaking to me and just nod. It's awful.

Allison said...

So, there's a video ad at the bottom of the page for UFC that says "CLICK FOR FIGHTER VIDEOS," and at first I thought it was part of someone's comment. Now I'm just wondering why your blog has UFC ads instead of, I don't know, Chipotle ads :)

As for the gushy relationshippiness (yay for made up words), I think it's LOVELY that you have a wonderful guy, and though I find myself lacking a guy I am in NO WAY JEALOUS (read: very, very jealous... but happy for you!). :D

Shelly said...

I have always been fascinated with your love for Chipotle and have been itching to try some. Now that I live in a town with Chipotle, I can finally scratch that itch. I am going there for dinner tomorrow and I am ecstatic.

toastburntbread said...

I get the thing about characters in books. My weird life goal is to find people in real life or actors who I could cast as the characters of Feeling Sorry for Celia, or as the trio from The Year of Secret Assignments.
I think I have found one. The younger girl character in the movie Up in the Air is perfect for Emily.

Zombie said...

Hayley, I'm scared. I just saw this ( trailer for the 7th movie's nothing like the book. They aren't even searching for Horcruxes. I'm practically in tears.

Madeline said...

That is AWESOME!! I would totally freak out if I saw John Green's characters alive and breathing in front of me.

I also want to be an author (well, that's one of many things...I should figure my plan out a little more since I graduate college in a year and three months), and I worry about the lack of a "real job" too. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one.

Cece said...

I'm lovin' the Slyvia Plath reference.
And I just met you and your good man, The Situation. I saw you holding hands and I nearly "Aw!"'d out loud. You two are so lovely together :]

jessmcfadden said...

<3 <3

Anonymous said...

It's this kind of thing right here that makes me want to be your friend.

ginger jones said...

I once saw Margo! I couldn't stop staring and all I could think was 'HOLY FUCK. I LIVE IN THE SAME CITY AS MARGO ROTH SPIEGELMAN.'

Alice said...

I love that the ad on this blog is a sandwhich made of donuts, eggs,bacon and cheese. Hmm I wonder where they got the idea that you like food...

hannah said...

this is kinda random but i just saw the movie bright star and wanted to know what you thought of it if you saw it?