Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Zebra Attack!

When one returns from a blogging hiatus, it is customary to devote the introductory section to making excuses for the absence. Therefore...

Reasons Hayley Didn't Blog in May:
1. She was being mauled by rabid zoo animals.
2. She hates you.
3. She is an idiot who thought it'd be a good idea to take classes far beyond her ability, and spent the majority of the month writing papers, studying piles of books, and repeatedly slamming her head into the concrete wall next to her bed.

And one of those is even true!

Anyway, like, hi. I'm sorry for frustrating some people; I hate not having time to write, and I miss you guys when I don't get to connect with you every day. School is just immensely more demanding this quarter than I was prepared for, I've had a couple family issues I've had to deal with, and the wounds from all my zebra attacks require constant care. But regardless, I am here. LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY WEEKEND.

For the past twenty-five years, The Situation's parents have hosted a three-day party over Memorial Day weekend for their college friends and their families, and I got invited this year because my life is amazing. Basically, it was one very long food-and-conversation fest, during which I got to pretend it was summer vacation and relax with some incredibly lovely people. I finally met The Situation's brother (with whom I had a refreshingly intelligent rapport about Harry Potter), bonded more with his ridiculously sweet, funny and adorable mother, and hung out a bit with various relatives and family friends. Despite not really knowing anyone prior to Friday, I never went more than a minute feeling awkward or out of the loop-- everyone was inviting and pleasant, and either his mother or awesome little sister were always around to bring me into conversations. Not counting the few awkward pauses following questions like, "So what is it that you DO on youtube, Hayley?" the whole weekend was very laid-back, very comfortable, and fell on the very opposite end of the stress spectrum from this week back at school.

Sigh. And, on top of all the projects and tests and failing I have to accomplish before next week, Mike begins his summer tour tomorrow in Indianapolis, and I am irrationally worried about it all. What if he gets a flat tire or something? (He'll deal with it.) What if he runs out of gas? (He never lets his car get under a quarter tank.) What if he gets a speeding ticket? (He drives like an old man.) What if nobody goes to any of the shows? (They will.) What if he gets attacked by a mob of escaped exotic animals? (Well, at least you'll have something else in common.) What if I'm being silly and overly protective and need to calm the hell down!?

I don't know, guys. I'm sorry to keep silent for a whole month, then come back and yell about stupid stresses and try to make a recurring bit out of something that doesn't even make sense*. How are you doing? What have I missed since the last time we "talked?" I have to go back to facing my school life, unfortunately, but I hope to write again much sooner. Probably. Maybe. I hope. Yes.

Chipotle burritos this year: 18
Subscribers: 28,848
Nail color: L'Oreal "Mango Mango" with Cover Girl "Ruby Dust" on top

*Why, exactly, is that unseatbelted child in such close proximity to a zebra?

P.S. Happy birthday to my beautiful, talented and fantastic friend, Lauren Fairweather. I love you!


hannahlikessheepbaa said...

I know what you mean about school stress. I'm in the middle of my A level exams at the moment. Scary stuff! Thing is, I've ended up blogging much more than normal because aparently the need to revise gives me more blog ideas!
I've only just started following your blog (increasing my list of blogs that I follow has been another distraction from revision) so I almost forgot that I'd followed you and this was a nice surprise despite the stress-filled-ness because you have such a wonderful way of wording things! I hope it's not too long before you blog more! :)

Sarah said...

Welcome back! I still have two weeks of school left and exams to do. We have the wall-bashing trait in common.

I am about to leave to get a check up. Awesome. So I'm glad I got to read your blog before leaving!

Brianna said...

Hooray for an updated blog. I was starting to feel silly getting bummed out when I'd click on my RSS Feed and still see "I love my mom". Haha who should be bummed about that? One good thing about you not blogging for a while is that I checked out your list of blogs you follow and my RSS Feed bar is full. I can't believe I'd never heard of Hyperbole and a Half! Thanks for that one.

I really hope that either my classes next semester don't consume my life or I magically get the ability to write a decent paper quickly and without stress.

Madeline said...

Oh my gosh, Hayley, I just laughed SO hard over the zebra attack video. And I honestly said something to my mom yesterday about how I've always kind of wanted to pet a zebra to see how it's different from a horse. This is why I love YouTube.

Not much is going on with me. I start work next week (basically doing daycare for middle school students), so right now I'm just trying to work up the motivation to sort/put away everything I brought home from college three weeks ago. Ugh.

Glad you're back...good luck with the rest of your school year!

GillianisAslan said...

I'm going to the Indianapolis show! I have a present for you, and for him, and I'm super excited about both. I hope they titillate the two of you!

BenCracknell said...

Well, I'm freaking fantastic now, Hayley! I've missed you so much, and an update is really what I need right now.
Not a lot's been going on. My cat got his head crushed in a door and had his eye taken out, but other than that, it's been boringly boring. I started making videos on YouTube, so I'm really excited about that!
Hope you're well, and I want to hear from you soon!

Have a great day,

Oh, also, I started reading the Jessica Darling series like you reccomended! They're fantastic! Thank you!

Robyn said...

Hayley! So glad to have you back in the blogging world! And at a perfect time, right when I needed to take a break from worrying about things and instead read something comforting and familiar.
I hope school settles down soon and that you're enjoying the warm weather!

p.s. Sorry for all of the exclamation points (-:

Anjali said...

Fear the zebras... o_o

Nice to see you blogging again! :) You actually inspired me to make one of my own haha, so thanks for all the time you put in here. All your readers appreciate it!


Sarah said...

Good to see you back!!

Try not to let the stresses get you down to much! And good luck for everything you have to do this quarter :)

Leigh said...

Thank you for portraying our annual weekend get-together in such a flattering light. It really was wonderful to have you join us. Though, looking back, aren't you sorry you didn't try out the bouncy house?

Anonymous said...

What's new? The actor playing the role of Cinderella's Prince in my school's production of Into the Woods, that's what (or rather, who?). I know you've done Into the Woods, so you know the play and how difficult it would be for someone to learn that part in two days. With no opportunity to do a full run of either act. The most ridiculous part of it all? The role of Cinderella's Prince was double-casted because the original actor was only able to come to one show but one guy's unavailable for three of the four shows and the other got mono. So now an alumni who has been helping with the show for the past month or so has the part.
As the trumpet I sincerely hope I don't accidentally miss any fanfares or he won't know to come onstage.

Bel Glezer said...

This was like a sneaky, unexpected birthday present for me!
Thank you for updating your blog, Hayley -- it means a lot! I know you have a life and all, but that doesn't mean I haven't missed reading your stuff!


Ida said...

You hate us don't you. That's the one you mean. Don't lie to me! Now I'm sad.

Kai said...

Yay blog!
I guess we can forgive you since you did an amazing job during BEDA!
Your weekend sounds totally awesome, and I had a great weekend too :)

J O D I E said...

Hayleyy i've missed you!
Don't feel guilty about your absence, we understand that you do have a life away from The Internet (As much as we hate to admit it..) and we fully appreciate how busy you must be!

I'm sure your hard work will pay off, and you'll completely dominate all the papers you have to write etc, you're too awesome to possibly consider failing at something!

Not much going on here..
In the middle of GCSEs, the most important exams of my life, what my 16 years of existance have been leading up to. So that's stressful, but it'll all be over in less than a month.

Can't wait to hear from you again, good luck with everything you're doing right now, and stay away from those zebras !

Jodie xxxx

Azu said...

I know you think you're rambling
or complaining and stuff in some updates (most of them) but I think it's pretty funny and enjoy reading them. Sorry if it makes me look like a you-are-in-despair-ha-ha-person, but I do like them. Maybe it's because you manage to put fun stuff on them (zebras).

By the way, what's the matter with zebras and their hate for awesome people? .

Michelle said...

I was thinking about your blog yesterday! YOU MUST'VE GOTTEN MY THOUGHT WAVES.

I went to a drive-though safari once... a zebra tried to make out with my mom through the window.

Britty said...

I'm sorry that school is kicking your ass and taking your name. It should be the other way around, but I'm in college too, I understand it doesn't always work that way.

Since we last "talked" I recieved word that I got accepted into my program for school and I start the grueling 22 month process August 30, so yeah, I'm stressed about that.
I also went on a cruise to Mexico with my best friend in the whole world for my birthday (I am now 24!) and spent the day surfing and loving my life.

Hope you can find time to talk again, we miss you when you are away.

Melody said...

Yaayyyy new blog!!

Just watch. Now everyone is going to start actually getting attacked by actual zebras. =D

partyweetow said...

I kinda like when you don't blog every single day. I appreciate your writing more in smaller amounts.

Alright, that sounded a bit mean. It wasn't supposed to. Your blog is like chocolate. If I eat it every day, I'm just gonna get fat. And by fat, I mean... the blog metaphor to fat. >.>

accioweasley said...

Today is the graduation of my very best friends in the entire world. Well, 8th grade graduation. Regardless, I'm sad, and excited, and frustrated. I have no idea what I'll do without them :(
As for blogging again, thank-you! Good luck with the rest of school!

Anonymous said...

I'm glad to hear you connected so well with Mike's family. :)

alylurker said...

Your back!!! Ooh zebra attack?? I was attacked by a gorilla. I was totally winning the fight, when I remembered that it was an endangered animal and so I let it win.

I actually attempted to do a backflip on a trampoline and ended up kicking myself in the face. But my friends decided gorrila attack was a better excuse for my black eye xDD

Lindsey said...

Hmmmm what have I been up to since we last "talked"? Well, um, do you have any advice on how to get a job, despite being unable to win popularity contests?
Seriously though, if you do, it would be rather helpful

Krazy_4_Kelly said...

Welcome back, Hayley! *throws confetti* I'm sorry about your zebra attack; if only it happened before the party, you could have brought it up to all his relatives and family friends. I'm sure that would have not been awkward at all.

Anyways, it's good to have you back. Hopefully your classes get a bit easier (or end soon.) I just started summer school today so I'm in your boat with being in school and just wanting it to be summer vacation...

Anonymous said...


On top of an already wonderful day (took my last final, got a new dress, hung out with friends, Glee is on and so is Zoey 101 ahah), I get a wonderfully witty update from my favorite blogger.

My life is too good right now.

Pip said...

Good to have you back, Hayley!
As for me, funny you should ask. There is absolutely nothing going on in my life. But now that you are have returned to the blogging world, life is happier.

Good luck finishing up school!

Alison said...

Ha! School stress! Finals are next week! Hooray!

It seems that whenever I- and my fellow classmates- reach this point of hysteria, bad things go down. Last time, three of the girls dumped their boyfriends, 2 left the school, and one threatened suicide. I promise you, this is very cheery school.
I would love it if you wished me luck. It might even make my day.

Or week, if you do it in all caps.

Aside from all that schoolstressfunstuff, you appear to be fairly happy, and we're happy for you. Such a lucky, lovely girl.

annaface said...

School sounds kind of ridiculously horrible. I was done before all of my friends & I'm pretty sure most everyone else; this Friday will mark 6 weeks off?

Either way, I finally started my first ever adult job. Hooray for 8 hour workdays? I feel very adult for someone who is only 19.

Another new thing: one of my best friends from college is leaving to Washington DC tomorrow for 2 years & I won't have contact w/ him besides snail mail. I'll have to find a new boy to coerce into not doing homework & playing ping-pong instead.

Niki. said...

Welcome back! =D.

Sorry about all of the school stress. I had to deal with some of that this past month, too, with AP exams and all. I graduated high school on Thursday, though, so that's all over with. =].

I'm sure Mike's tour will go well. And good luck with those zebras.

Anonymous said...

My life, thanks for asking :), is pretty much school and exams atm. I had an exam this morning and another tomorrow, so in between frantic study I was all like "I wonder if Hayley's updated today" feeling pretty pessimistic as to the outcome, so this made me as happy as one can be on minimal energy levels.

It’s also my best friend’s birthday today :).

:) from Annabel

Jordiekins said...

Welcome back! I'm too tired to write a long, drawn out comment, but, um...


Manuel said...

Welcome back! We missed you but we're not angry :)

VTBurninator said...

Welcome back!! Also, good luck with the school stress....advice from 6+ years of higher education...take breaks, listen to comforting music (I'm sure you can find some), eat and play! Best of luck as you finish out this very busy quarter (when does it end btw?) and send my good wishes to The Situation on his awesome summer tour (will you get to go to any of his shows?)

Washington Irving said...

welcome back

unhappily, the denizens of the zoo were that day inclined to be uncouthly
more particularly the primates--from which with dignity square feet
turned abruptly Miss Gay away:
"on the whole"(if you will permit a metaphor savouring slightly of the
Miss Gay had nothing to say to the animals and the animals had nothing
to say to Miss Gay

Lewis H :) said...

AND SHE'S BAAAAAAACK! I can't express how happy I am :) Blog Every Day in June?

Sarah said...

Yay, you're back! It was SO nice to see this today. (Although never apologize for living life. I'm sorry that school is so stressful, and I hope that your family stuff is ok now...)

Since you last posted? I went on an amazing trip, and had a great time ... and then came back to real life and realised that I have SO much to do before I finish school forever in three weeks, and am spending my week panicking! I'll get through it all though, and so will you!

Lewis H :) said...

AND SHE'S BAAAAAAACK! I can't express how happy I am :) Blog Every Day in June?

Elizabeth said...

I saw this at Barnes and Nobles yesterday and was really excited. You're a Jaclyn Moriarty fan, aren't you? I think I read that here but it's very possible I read that some place else. At any rate, the book looks good, I'm excited to read it, and I thought you would like to be aware, too.

giascreen said...

I know how you feel when you say you are overwhelmned because you took classes way over your head. I did that last year and at first I hated it (thats a lie I hated it the whole way through)but I also learned more in that class then I have ever learned in my entire School career. After I finished that class I was so proud of myself and I know that when you finish this semester you will feel the same way. You are a brillient girl and even though you feel like you will fail everything, you wont. You'll be fine just keep working at it and try to do as much as you can as fast as you can so you cant take the time to think and stress about your work.

I really enjoy reading your blog before I start my school work so keep us posted and let us know all your classes are going.

Snottlebie said...

YAY! Hayley's back. School has really slowed down for me too (after AP and IB exams in May), but finals are next week. Ergh. Thanks for writing again, we missed you.

Kate said...

oh you know, i just spent 2 weeks traveling around New Zealand with my brother.
and got back yesterday - but because of time differences and how long the flight actually was, June 1st lasted 40 hours for me. FORTY.

thatothergrace said...

I was lucky enough to have finished all my finals last week, and on sunday, when my freinds graduated, I became officially a senior and have spent the last thee days laying in bed rereading Harry Potter, and editing a new video for my youtube channel. :)

I'm glad you back!

Alice said...

Oh HayleyG, I've missed you so!
I'm using a kindle right now, and when you shut it off it displays a different author. Every once and a while I get that super creepy picture of Emily Dickenson. HAYLEY! why do you continue to torment me with her photos?

I've actually been blogging more often because of finals, because its distracting, and satisfying when Algebra 1 isn't. In fact, I may take your idea of buying grades with chocolate chip cookies

Tenley Nadine said...

Wait, one of those excuses is true? ...You were mauled by Zebras?! lol

Kelly said...

So happy you're back Hayley. Wow, I'm so impressed with you and Mike. I can't even imagine how hard a long term relationship could be at times. The only boy I ever loved is leaving this weekend and I don't know if I'll ever see him again. All goodbyes feel like that sometimes, even when you know it isn't true. Stay strong, and we're here if you need to vent your "silly" worries. We've all got em.

Dinah said...

Yay! You blogged AND got a P.O Box!!! I wasn't sure this day would ever come.

One way you could cure your tour worries is to go to as many shows as you can with Mike. That way you'd almost get BORED of it and wouldn't worry so much.
Or y'know, you'd fall even more deeply in love. It's a win win really.

Nothing too much to report over here, other than I try not to think about all the oil destroying our ocean because it makes me want to cry and/or hit things.
Also, I could use some sunshine and heat. The Pacific Northwest is currently lacking in summer weather.

Missed you so much, so glad to have you back.

Sammie said...

Glad to hear your alive and well Hayley!! Im picturing all your school stresses happening to me this coming fall...I am going back to university in september. I'm sure The Situation will do great! :)

Keshara said...

welcome back :]

Nicoley said...

Yay glad to see a post from you Hayley! I'm glad you had a fun and relaxing weekend away from school.
I have some sad news my dad passed away from throat/liver and bone cancer a couple of days ago and his funeral was today. Reading your blog has made my sad week that much brighter. But I suppose there is some good news, my 21st birthday is on Sunday and I'm celebrating with friends and family.

Sorry for the downer of a comment but I hope you have a good rest of the school year.

Missed you!


Catherine said...

Nice to see that the zebras have let you live. It's good to have you back. Don't disappear for another month, or I might have to send my ostrich after you next.

And we don't mind the complaining! It means you're human and not a soulless automaton.

Madhuuu said...

wheeeeeeeeeen is your school over?
mine's been over for...a week now hehe

katiezell said...

Hi Hayley! School is stressful, but it feels like I have nothing to do without it besides be lazy reading, re watching Avatar and Doctor Who episodes, and trying to be my Rubik's Cube record. To be truthful I spent the past 2 hours catching up on your blog and you are even more hilarious and awesome than what I remember from when I last read your blog (2 months ago).
Best Wishes,
Katie Z

Anonymous said...

Hello, Hayley! I've missed you so!

You and Mike seem perfect, and he seems like the type of the person who would have an adorable family. My boyfriend's family doesn't like me, so you are very lucky!!

That zebra video was hilarious and thank you for sharing it. :)

kira902k said...

bit late posting a comment on this, sorry!
Everything will turn out okay, you won't fail, and mike will be fine. <3

I'm good, stressed because I'M going to fail finals and sad because all of my friends are leaving for the summer soon and I'm just going to be stuck here. Bleh.
But yeah.
I miss your blogging, but I understand that you're busy. :)


ps now i keep picturing you as that screaming child in the zebra attack video.