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Sunday, May 9, 2010

I love my mom.

I don't recall ever going through that door-slamming middle school phase so often portrayed on TV, where the thirteen-year-olds with considerable amounts of eyeshadow and angst exclaim, "MY MOM'S SUCH A BITCH; I HATE HER." I never joined in on the ninth grade gym class discussions about whose parents were worse, and I never texted my friends under the table about how tortured I was to be living at home. There was definitely a period of time when I felt like I had nothing in common with my mom, like we were totally different personality types, and like we could rarely relate to each other... but I can honestly say with total confidence that, however secretly, I have always thought highly of my mother.

My sisters are rather feminine (sometimes excruciatingly so, although I both love and like them very much), so I tend to have a more natural inclination towards men, as if I need to balance out our family dynamic. Because of this, I often praise and label my father as my hero, but it's really unfair that I've never taken much time to talk about what a wonderful mother I have. Funny how I want rewards whenever I accomplish something that's expected of me, but I never provide my mom with any credit for how much she constantly gives, gives, gives to her family. She gave up her body to have and chase four kids, she's given up her sleep when we've been out acting stupid, and she gracefully gives up her dignity whenever we collectively make her the subject of our teasing. Nobody in our family provides as much, and nobody receives less recognition.

Oh, and on top of being an excellent mother, she's also an extraordinary person.

There seems to be a turning point in adolescence when it finally occurs to us that our parents are real, individual human beings with faults and shortcomings and desires and needs, rather than robots designed to do our bidding and sometimes stop us from eating stuff that tastes good. While it embarrasses me to admit this, I think I reached that stage a little later than average with regards to my mom. I poke fun of her for only having five childhood stories, all of which I've heard a thousand times*, but that's because it's rather difficult for me to imagine this organized, mature, put-together woman as a messy little girl. With difficulty, I can use our few home movies to picture a pregnant, permed, 1987 version of her. But in my mind, my mother popped out of the womb in a turtleneck, weighing a hundred pounds, holding a To Do list. The thought of her having braces or going to prom is still surreal to me.

That's why it's come as such a surprise to me that, as of the last few months, she and I are sort of becoming friends. Suddenly, I've had realization after epiphany: finding similarities in our facial expressions, becoming aware of the fact that she entered into her first** Big Deal Relationship at the same age (same MONTH, even) as I did. Noticing that we sometimes, almost, nearly share a sense of humor.*** As cliche as the metaphor is, I feel like we're entering into a new chapter in our relationship. Out of nowhere, I'm starting to possess traits of a legitimate adult. And while I don't claim to have the same maturity level and poise as she did at my age, when she was working a real job and about to get real engaged, I consider it an honor to resemble my beautiful mother in any way.

So there, I said it. The end. Stop looking at me like that. :)

Chipotle burritos this year: 16
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Nail color: "Onyx Rush," Maybelline Express Finish


*1. She broke her leg playing outside. 2. She didn't make the cheerleading squad her junior year, but tried harder next time. 3. She embarrassed herself in front of the teacher she had a crush on. 4. A guy once gave her a card reading, "To a sweat girl on Sweatest Day." 5. On their first date, my dad told her not to wear so much makeup.

**And last. Mom also deserves serious props for maintaining such a healthy and awesome marriage for almost thirty years, and counting.

***I only say that, Mom, because I know it'll mean a lot to you. If you ask me about this sentence on any other day of the year, I will continue to swear that I am hilarious, and that you are utterly unfunny.

46 comments:

alylurker said...

Aww this was really adorable! :D
It almost makes me want to go hug my own mom! I totally would but its 3 in the morning here! I should really stop watching old 30 rock episodes and go to bed...

BenCracknell said...

It's really, really lovely to hear some more about your mum. I hear some about your father, and I know your family life is very personal, but it's really good to get to know the two people who have moulded you into this lovely woman. Your mother seems downright amazing, and any human being would be unbelivably luck to have them in their lives.

Tell mama'Hayley she's pure awesome, and we freaking love her for it.

Have a good day, Hoover family!
Ben

to_thine_own_self said...

Aww...this is a really cute post.
Perfect for Mother's Day and so true...
I think it hit me when I was about 13 or 14 that my mom was a person when she told me about her past relationships for the first time.
It was weird realizing that she dated other people and all of that.
But it just let me see more of the true person that she is and not just the role that she had previously only let me see.
I love my momma. Her and I have always been close and reading this reminded me to just give my mom a little recognition from time to time.

Trudy Gine said...

I'm sure your mom is proud of you Hayley. :)

Teresa Aguiar said...

I think that that happens when they start seeing us as women!
Mine hasn't yet. It's very understandable, though.
It's awesome that you and your mom are getting closer! We know that moms are always gonna be there for us, right?
Like BenCracknell said mama'Hayley is pure awesome, now we know where you got it from (well, your dad also helped with that)!

Love from Portugal!

natasha.self said...

Ooooh it's Mothers' Day in America!

Didn't click until I noticed a bit of a theme on PostSecret this morning...

Kai said...

aww that was so sweet!
I love my mom!

Azu said...

My mom is the person I admire the most, more than any writer or author or whoever manages to put me in a state of awe. She taught me how to read and write (before I even went to kindergarten!) and I'm grateful for having such an awesome person to look out for me.

Thanks for reminding me that, Hayley :)

European Girl said...

That was one of the most beautiful posts I've seen:) I've lost my mom at the age before I could consider her as someone different than a mom. Becoming a grown-up without her feels like a snap in the face for I realize how much I didn't know about her and how happy I would be to get to know her NOW. And you're right, maybe considering them as individual persons who devoted their lives to us makes you mature.

Sidsel said...

This was very touching and relatable!

I constantly feel guilty for not telling my mom just how much I appreciate her and that I KNOW how much she does for our family without pointing it out. Every snark (though rare) keeps me up at night and I often find myself promising never to make fun of her again, cast another snide remark her way or thinking something negavtive about her. My only problem is I've found out we are less alike than I've always believed, but I hope one day soon I can live up to that promise anyway.

Krazy_4_Kelly said...

Aww this was really nice to read. Your mom must be super amazing to have raised such an awesome person. I hope she has a very happy mother's day =)

partyweetow said...

So, off topic, but there are five times as many people subscribed to you than there are living in my town. xD

kira902k said...

Hah aw this was really cute. And I know what you mean about suddenly seeing our parents as REAL people. That just happened to me recently.
I wrote a poem to my momma for mother's day. I'm proud. :)

Brynne Annaƫ said...

I'm happy to hear this. I've always had a good relationship with my mum, and in the last year I've looked at us and realized that even though I physically resemble my dad, Mum and I are so, so similar. It makes me happy.

Katie said...

AWWWW sentimental mommy/daughter pic needed for this post! :)

Emma said...

Would you mind elaborating on those stories in a blog post? Your mom's stories sound really interesting.

Caroline said...

http://www.nylonmag.com/?section=article&parid=4546

Hayley, I thought you might enjoy this considering your nail polish fetish.

Hooray for mothers!

Larangutang said...

That's awesome. You are such a good writer Hayley!

Christina said...

This is so adorable Hayley.

Alexis said...

Hayley, I saw this picture today, and it reminded me of your post:

http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc3/hs297.snc3/28497_420221520427_627070427_5951806_6847318_n.jpg

Aren't all moms superheroes?

seurat2 said...

Someone just earned herself some serious points with her Mom. That's not why you wrote this, but don't forget to save those points for a day when even you might need them!

Mariel said...

I used to think that me and my mom had absolutely nothing in common. But yesterday for mother's day I was at my grandparents house and we were looking at old pictures of her and my aunt. My mom and I kept looking at the pictures and cracking the same type of jokes about them. Then we burst out laughing over a picture of her as a baby and it was the same laugh. Same pitch, same volume. It was kinda scary but at the same time eye-opening in a nice way. :)

Jordiekins said...

I love my mom, too.

Also, http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l0dienv5cV1qbydgco1_250.gif

triciamacmillan said...

I feel the same way about my mom. I like this very much.

georgia said...

totally going through the same thing with hy mum. it's really odd.

Natalie said...

I need you to post more. Seriously. We're talking mental health here.

Anonymous said...

Hey. Kayley just said something weird in a video, and I guess I'm leaving this to say that I hope you're okay. *hugs*

Anonymous said...

i hope youre okay hayley
we love you :)

Anonymous said...

Okay, you can call me a crazy-creepy-Internet-stalker, but I'm kind of really worried. Hope everything's okay. We love you. <3333333

BenCracknell said...

Yes, I am only commenting again so I can enter a contest, and YES you should check this book out. It's the second in the series next to Shiver by Maggie Stiefvater, and it looks amazing!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l59sMzeA_vQ

Maria said...

It's so nice to hear you say such nice things about your mum. I'm sure that she appreciated this a ton. :)

Anonymous said...

hayleyyyy im missing you :[

That bloggers blog said...

its like something out of lizzie mcguire

Chrissi said...

Hope everything's okay Hayley. You've been internet absent for too long, <3333333

Summer of Love said...

Hey hayley, I am a huge fan of your blog. (i also enjoy ur vlogs and 5AG as well!) You are an amazing writer and it's nice to listen to you give voice to the gripes of our generation, as well as allow us to try and live vicariously through your own personal thoughts and experiences. You are kind of my inspiration and I convinced 3 of my friends to write a blog. We started it this week and was wondering if you would check it out and let us know what you think so far! it would be seriously amazing if i could have your opinion, i would be so honored, i wouldn't even mind if your opinion is a bad one lol. here's the link http://fantastic4-summer-of-love.blogspot.com
thanks!
p.s. i'm holly in the blog.

gaby said...

Saw this today and it made me think of you http://xkcd.com/741/

:)

Suburban Sweetheart said...

I know a lot of moms, & yours is a pretty darn good one. I know our moms still talk for work a lot, & I'm glad for it. Good people need other good people around.

JuliAnn said...

Ok... so Hayley I think you realize that you have kind of been slacking in the blogging world. I forgive you and everything, because I know you have a life outside of cyber land. Oh, and that it is harder to write a blog when you are happy and have no time (which I am assuming is the reason). However, can you ummmmm... update? =]

elizabeth said...

Hayley! where have you been! videos empty, no note! blog gone! ... i miss you. (:

Kelly said...

The problem with BEDA is that you seem to be so sick of blogging after it's done that you also participate in BOOIM (Blog Only Once In May). :/

We miss you. Come back soon.

Stephanie L said...

I guess BEDA spoiled me, but I have been slightly disappointed when I check every day and see that you haven't updated in two weeks! Please post again soon!!

caliowin said...

Miss you Hayley, but I hope you're having a great time IRL :D

Cat (: said...

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyleeeeeeeeeyyyyyy,
where did you go?

Don't you leave us for like 3 months again. I can't handle that.

Come back (:

Summer said...

hayley, i know you have a million things going on, so who knows when you'll get to this, but just wanted to let you know that I just read ghosts of ashbury high, the new jaclyn moriarty book, and it's AMAZING. so I think you should go read it. right now.

Anonymous said...

baby come back to meeeee

hahahaha, but no seriously. you are missed...

Julia said...

Hey Hayley.






Start blogging again.

Like, every day.


Please.





:)