Internet relationships and things that are[n't] sexy

Let's talk about sex, baby.

No, let's really not. But let's talk about meeting boys over the internet.

There was a time-- probably about two years ago, to be honest-- when I would have LOL'd in the faces of people who believed you could fall in love with someone without ever being in the same room as them. The idea of making relationships online was a fairly new concept to me. I was still too scared to give my close livejournal friend my phone number. The Harry Potter fandom, although I desperately longed to be a part of it, went over my head. And the thought of being involved with someone in another state or even another country? Seriously. You cannot even know someone you met on the internet.

And then I fell deeply, hopelessly in love with someone I met on the internet.

There's something about the thrill of a good taboo. You can watch your video responses; that's cool. But you can't make out with them. (What's "them?" The video response itself, or the person responding? Ambiguity is hilarious!) But yeah, the very fact that it's weird is often enough incentive to try it out. And I'm big on weird.

Siiiiiiigh. Yeah, there was no point to this other than that I'm premenstrual and crazy and whiny and miss my exboyfriend.

MOVING RIGHT ALONG. Here's a spontaneous list.

Things that are sexy:

--Jason Mraz, past, present and future.

--Spring Awakening.... (That wasn't an iffy ellipsis; think of it like lots of periods to show how very serious I am.)

--Nerd boys! Especially with thick-framed glasses.

--Dr. Cox and Jordan. Scrubssss.

--Oh, and (I think I just like embarrassing myself?) this, too.

--Guhhhh. Slap me across the face, but... Twilight.

--Um... and, um... this.

--BO BURNHAM. (boburnham)

--Johnny Depp in every role he's ever played.

--Moulin flipping Rouge.

--The Notebook. Cliche, but come on.

--I'm going to say it. People are going to flip out on me, but I'm going to say it. SMOKING.

--Happily married famous couples.

--"As Long As You're Mine" from Wicked.

--"As Long As You're Mine" performed by a happily married  famous couple.

--Brad Paisley, who's also half of a happily married famous couple.

--Pam and Jim from The Office.

--Guys who play World of Warcraft. I don't. Don't know anything about it. But it's hot.

--YouTubers.

Things that are not sexy:

--Porn.

--Paris Hilton. Particularly, Paris Hilton in porn.

--Orlando Bloom. Ever, really.

--Nearly every tramp stamp.

--White athletic shoes.

--Boy hair products of any kind. Even, like, conditioner.

--Axe body spray. Or at least I've yet to smell it done well.

--Shirts that don't fit.

--People who eat reasonable portions.

--Football. Just does nothing for me.

I think I'll add more un/sexy things to future blogs when they come to mind, a la communitychannel's ugly- and attractive-word-of-the-video. If anyone's reading this, what unconventional things turn you on? What conventional things turn you off?

Ummmmmm this blog has no continuity whatsoever and is kind of frightening. Oh well! See you tomorrow. 14,642 subscribers.

BEDA and the Surcol

I think I'm going to participate in Maureen Johnson's "Blog Every Day April" activity. Well. A hybrid of her blogging game and Alex (nerimon)'s vlogging game. I must blog every day that I do not vlog. Doubles are allowed if I'm bored.

Ha. As if I'm not terrified of vlogging.

You know how some people can just turn on their webcams and beauty and glory flows effortlessly from their beautiful and glorious faces? I'm thinking missxrojas, nerimon, lianeandthemusic, whataboutadam, communitychannel... like, people who can pull off an unscripted video blog. And then there are the rest of us. John and Hank (vlogbrothers)'s videos don't work without the hyperactive jump-cutting. Meekakitty's charm comes from her spastic editing style. Some of us don't have the constitution to be spontaneously articulate.

Fiveawesomegirls videos make me feel awkward to this day. I feel like I have to smile a ridiculous amount to keep the energy flowing, or retake a sentence so you can't see the bags under my eyes, or find somewhere interesting to sit to make up for my lack of interesting content. I always laugh when I get a comment like "You're so comfortable in front of the camera!" because, oh my God, I am not. I'm comfortable on the set of hayleyghoover, with ultimate control over each six-second clip, where I can count on the lighting and can always add music to parts that feel flat. Cameras freak me out. They're so brutally honest.

Anyway, maybe this is pointless. If practice makes perfect in the world of vlogging and I haven't mastered it yet after a whole year of 5AG, I'm probably doomed. And people HATE when I vlog on my personal channel. But... I'm going to try. The vlogs I make will be posted on my Secret Uninteresting Response Channel of Lame (my "surcol," if you will) and if you want to see them, you'll have to find them yourself.

HA!

Subscription issues, Florida, dailybooth

Okay, so I didn't reveal this blog to the public yet. I'll tell you that it's because I'm too shy and I want it to make a good first impression, but really it's because I forgot.

This whole subscription issue thing is INFURIATING me. I just found out that I missed a communitychannel video like two weeks ago. And every time Lauren (devilishlypure) makes a fiveawesomegirls video, I don't find out until Wednesday when I go look at the channel to mourn that no one ever posts. LEAVE ME MY VIDEOS! BECAUSE THEY ARE MY VIDEOS! /john proctor

It's raining in Florida. I love rain, yeah, but I'd like to be able to go OUT. There's this house down the street that was the original inspiration for the novel I've been working on since I was thirteen, and I haven't even gone to see it yet. Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

Oh, and dailybooth.com is kind of cool. I don't think I'll ever be that into it-- I still don't really understand how it works?-- but I like looking at the pictures. Rosianna (missxrojas) is gorgeous. 

W00t.

Lotsa videos to make.

Hello, girls. It's Thursday.

I think I'm going to link to this blog in my video today. (Pressure! Woo!) I'm not sure what I'm going to do for it yet. Maybe I'll make fun of Kristina/Alex (italktosnakes and nerimon) and Lauren/Matt (devilishlypure and thewhompingwillows) and do something cutesy with... my dog? An inanimate object? Eh, we'll see.

In other youtubely news, I have an old school hayleyghoover video written and started, including a clip from a very special guest. Someone way out of my collab league. I'm excited. I'm not positive yet, but there's a good chance this one will include even more terrible singing. I can't explain why I've felt so inclined to grace you with my straining vocal cords as of late; I promise it'll be over soon. Anyway, if I have time to record it after school today, which I... probably won't, it'll go up either tonight or tomorrow. However, it's much more likely that you won't be seeing it for another week, as I'll be in Florida for my spring break. I'd like to keep it as timely as possible, though. Ughhhh. Again, we'll see.

Also, there's a really, really, really funny and cute fiveawesomegirls collab video in the works. I'd like it to go up this Saturday, but I'm still waiting on clips from the ever-so-busy Lauren and the recently-struck-voiceless Liane (lianeandthemusic). Once I get 'em, though, I can edit and send it to someone else to post this weekend. Hahahahahaaa. You guys'll like it.

Oh! I was walking my dog the other day and got an idea for a short series of sorts. There would be several videos spread over a long period of time (think Annoyances), and they'd all be under a minute. At the present time I'm thinking they'd be more... crafty... than funny, but knowing my tendency to turn everything into some kind of joke, who knows. They'd open up a lot of opportunity for video responses, too. What are your thoughts on that? I've received a lot of feedback lately asking me not to post as many videos outside of my usual style. Give me a y/n in a comment on here, my Thursday video, or my channel.

People have been asking for more Annoyance videos, too. I wrote one a couple months ago that I really liked, but I CANNOT FIND IT. And now I know I've built it up in my mind so much that if I ever do find it, I won't want to make it. Baaah. I'm sure I can think of five things that annoy me on the spot. If that's what you guys want, let me know.

I love this. It's sad how much of my life it occupies, but I LOVE IT.

Has-been?

I'm bored in my free period, and I just decided to google hayleyghoover. Apparently the most-searched item is "hayleyghoover blog." Craaap. You guys want me to blog?

I guess it's about time. It's become increasingly apparent to me lately how little the majority of the world cares about the youtube community. But it's like... our lives. Therefore, I'm going to pump the internet full of youtube references until those of us who thrive in this microcosm can feel at home.

Kristina, italktosnakes, sent me her love song to Alex, nerimon, the other night, and I knew I was doomed. It is SO catchy and SO sweet and SO cute. And now that it's posted, she has SO passed me in subscribers. (Don't get me wrong-- she more than deserves it. Look her up.) Anyway, I reacted in the only way I know how to deal with pressure. I'm posting a hip hop single on my channel after school today.

Hahaha.

I guess I'm sort of nervous that I'm becoming a has-been before I've even been. Fiveawesomegirls has more subscribers now than it did last year, but it's losing its appeal to a lot of people. They wanted to know us, and now they do. So why do they still care? On a related note, it really, really bothers me how low Boh3m3's ratings and comments were on the video he posted this week. Boh3m3 is a BIG DEAL, people! It worries me to see the people I used to look up to and hero worship dropping off the radar. When was the last time Brookers put something up? You know what I mean?

Also, I've received the world's largest collection of hater comments this week. There must be a hundred. It honestly, honestly, honestly doesn't bother me to read "u r a fag" or "i h8 u," but ALL your feedback is "Die, bitch!" it can start to make you feel uneasy.

I don't know. I guess I'm a blogger now.