I'm not a genius or a prodigy or that girl who played Winnie Cooper, but I'm a pretty smart person. I don't follow most trends without thinking, I try not to use words I don't understand, I don't buy things off the TV. Still, with all my rationality and with all the raging feminism of my twenties, I do have my weaknesses. And one of them is Victoria's Secret.
I waddle through the mall, balancing the Christmas presents I need to exchange, arms laced with the straps of shopping bags. I see it in the distance, glowing pink. On either side of its entrance, posters fill the space from ceiling to floor with images of open-mouthed women and their extraordinarily long torsos. A scent, vaguely vanilla, seems to traipse into my nostrils. I strain to avert my eyes. Silently remind myself, It's a trap. They know what appeals to your young female brain. If you go in there, you'll spend money you don't have on items you don't need and then you'll be hooked and never, ever escape. But it is too late. I am lured into this wonderland of lace, glitter, cotton strewn about messily on purpose. I give myself over to the poppy music, inadvertently changing my footsteps to match the beat, until my zombie stride is identical to those of the other shopping prisoners. My smart-person brain is taken hostage. All my thoughts become one repeating mantra: This is sexy. You need sexy. Must be sexy. Buy the sexy.
I find myself twiddling through delicate fabrics, turning over pretty items in my hands. Suddenly, $70 sounds like a perfectly reasonable amount to spend on a nightgown. People who wear these sweatshirts have qualities that I need. My lumpy skin looks nothing like this mannequin, but maybe that's because I don't own this sparkly thing.
I need more money. I need to lose my belly fat. I need to brighten my skin. I need to slather on these creams, pat my face with this powder pompom, wear high heels, inexplicably, to bed. I need to pout my lips like her, I need to pose myself like her, I need to buy everything in this room so I can be exactly what their labels promise: a bombshell, a centerfold, a vixen, a tease.
And then I'm in line, palming an overpriced tube of lotion whose smell would not have enticed me half as much at Macy's. I fiddle about with miniature last-minute products strategically placed near the register. Perhaps I should be wearing lipgloss. Men must like oily, slippery magenta lipgloss, or else it wouldn't be called Beauty Rush, or else it wouldn't be here. Maybe I should get some and watch the woman behind the counter wrap it in hot pink tissue paper and then I can be desirable glamorous wanted worthy. But it's my turn to check out now, and the reality of making a monetary transaction zaps enough sense to my brain that I drop the lipgloss back in its container. I sign my unnecessarily pink receipt and I finally emerge from the store with only one bag. With each step toward the pretzel kiosk, I feel Victoria's grip on me loosen. I am no longer sultry. I am no longer a slave.
Why does that place have so much control over me? I got decent standardized test scores! I've bookmarked CNN.com! In the real world, I am confident, comfortable, and proud of my body and the person inside it. I wear mismatching socks and I only own three pairs of jeans. I should be above these too-obvious marketing schemes, but I'm not. Not quite.
So I wonder, how do you deal with this kind of temptation to spend heaps of money on qualities that can't be bought? How do you convince yourself that sexiness has nothing to do with labels, and that being a good person has little to do with sexiness? Is it always negative? As often as it makes me feel inadequate, its products also make me feel sort of empowered and feminine. Where is the line?
I can't be the only smart girl who still gets sucked in by marketing once in a while. I'm interested in hearing your opinions on the subject. Until then, I hope you're all having a great week. I'm looking forward to reading your responses!
Chipotle burritos this year: 31
Subscribers: 41,613
Nail color: "Devilish," Revlon
Miles run today: 0, but I ate cheesecake, which is practically the same thing.
P.S. It is not sexiness that I have an issue with. Sexiness is awesome and ABSOLUTELY a trait that smart women can possess. My issue is with DESIGNER sexiness. My issue is with paying twice as much for something because it comes on a pink hanger. You know?
Monday, December 27, 2010
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Hayley G. Hoover and Charlie McDonnell
I've tried to ignore it. I thought that maybe, maybe, maybe it would go away on its own, and we could all just forget about it and move on with our lives... but I don't think I'm going to be able to escape this one for a while. It's time to address what it's time to address. There is a Charlie McDonnell song about me.
Three years ago, I used to talk with Charlie on a regular basis. We'd joke around on Skype about youtube and life (he was ahead of me on the subscriber charts, but there was no dramatic difference in our ranks within the youtube community at the time), and one day he sent me a silly faux-love song he'd whipped together in my honor, full of inside jokes and his usual quirkiness. It cracked me up. I played it for my mom and my best friend, but when it never made it into a charlieissocoollike video, I promptly forgot the song had ever existed.
Charlie and I fell out of touch quickly after he sent me the song-- I grew bitter toward him when "fiveawesomeguys" (his spin-off of fiveawesomegirls, which had just begun and was just gaining popularity) phased away from its original role as a companion and tribute to 5AGirls, and soon eclipsed the viewership of our project, despite the fact that it was significantly less organized, less original, and at many times a blatant ripoff.* The fiveawesomeguys soon ceased to credit us for the idea of their channel, and to this day, many youtubers believe 5AGirls-- a project to which I have devoted three years of my time and creativity-- to be an homage to fiveawesomeguys. This assumption is incorrect.
All that being said, however, I eventually got over my animosity. In his defense, Charlie had both mentioned me and posted a video response to my channel in the past, generously giving me a boost in traffic, and had never said a harsh thing about me. I will not act like my bitterness about fiveawesomeguys was unjustified, but it's not something that still bothers me today. I find Charlie's videos to be very entertaining and worth watching. I have had friendly relationships with other members of their channel, and I respect all of them as very talented and fascinating people.
So fast-forward to this December. I heard through the grapevine that Charlie McDonnell was releasing an album through DFTBA Records, and was startled to see my name on the track list. I had given him permission years ago to do with the song as he pleased, and it is funny and cute, so it shouldn't have been a major shock... but I was still bemused. I literally have not spoken a single word to Charlie since the short-lived success of his collab channel. He has not contacted me throughout any part of the process of this album's creation or promotion, and if it weren't for its success, I probably would never have heard that the song was being used at all. I'm not embarrassed about it, and I'm frankly very pleased to have gained new readers and viewers because of the song**, but I can't pretend I saw this coming.
Oh, and now to the fun part. One charming result of my unexpected love song comes in the form of the newly popularized google search "Hayley G Hoover political views." Charlie mentions in the song that, despite his phony affection for me, he and I "don't share the same political views." This is based solely on a few irresponsible things I happened to say around the time of the 2008 election (when I was, mind you, a high school senior, and therefore very naive and prone to iffy logic), about the fact that I tend to lean on the conservative end of the American political spectrum. I've since learned that it's useless to utter a single word about politics on the internet, because even the most flawlessly delivered arguments are still heard as "ME LIKE ABORTION" or "CAVEMAN HATE GAY MARRIAGE." But, to diffuse some of the rumors, I am neither a radical Democrat nor Republican. I am consistently much more liberal on social matters, but consider myself a fiscal conservative. And even still, I am only twenty years old, I'm financially dependent on my parents, and I understand that my opinions could change drastically in just the next five years. All I ask is that you not hear Charlie's song and decide from it that "since Charlie supported Obama, Hayley must be a Nazi," OR deduce that "since Hayley publicly supports gay rights, Charlie must be a homophobe." Both are shallow, neither is true.
In conclusion***, I respect and like Charlie McDonnell, find his song about me to be flattering and fun, and do not harbor negative feelings toward him. While I deeply hope the song will not forever be the number one result for my name in search engines, I am not embarrassed that it exists. I am also not a far-right fundamentalist extremest Karl Rove fan, nor am I Charlie's girlfriend of past, present, or future. Glad we've cleared that up.
Chipotle burritos this year: 31
Subscribers: 41,116
Nail color: "Devilish," Revlon
Miles run today: 3
*I considered wording that in a more polite fashion, but there really isn't any polite way to tell the story truthfully. On several occasions, the fiveawesomeguys announced weekly themes that were identical to the ones we'd created the week before. Charlie adopted a pet cactus plant, without so much as a nod in my direction, when I had been doing the same on our channel for a month. It's difficult to call that coincidence.
**Well, I'm not exactly pleased about being bombarded with comments along the lines of "wut did charlie see in dis fat bitch she iz so uggo he shud luv me insTeaD." But to those of you who have nice things to say-- or who just don't have cruel things to say-- hello!
*** "In conclusion." Lol. I feel like I'm writing an essay for high school English.
P.S. All I ate today was cinnamon rolls (3), a bagel sandwich (1), and chocolate chip cookies (endless, approximately 13). Livin' the dream.
Three years ago, I used to talk with Charlie on a regular basis. We'd joke around on Skype about youtube and life (he was ahead of me on the subscriber charts, but there was no dramatic difference in our ranks within the youtube community at the time), and one day he sent me a silly faux-love song he'd whipped together in my honor, full of inside jokes and his usual quirkiness. It cracked me up. I played it for my mom and my best friend, but when it never made it into a charlieissocoollike video, I promptly forgot the song had ever existed.
Charlie and I fell out of touch quickly after he sent me the song-- I grew bitter toward him when "fiveawesomeguys" (his spin-off of fiveawesomegirls, which had just begun and was just gaining popularity) phased away from its original role as a companion and tribute to 5AGirls, and soon eclipsed the viewership of our project, despite the fact that it was significantly less organized, less original, and at many times a blatant ripoff.* The fiveawesomeguys soon ceased to credit us for the idea of their channel, and to this day, many youtubers believe 5AGirls-- a project to which I have devoted three years of my time and creativity-- to be an homage to fiveawesomeguys. This assumption is incorrect.
All that being said, however, I eventually got over my animosity. In his defense, Charlie had both mentioned me and posted a video response to my channel in the past, generously giving me a boost in traffic, and had never said a harsh thing about me. I will not act like my bitterness about fiveawesomeguys was unjustified, but it's not something that still bothers me today. I find Charlie's videos to be very entertaining and worth watching. I have had friendly relationships with other members of their channel, and I respect all of them as very talented and fascinating people.
So fast-forward to this December. I heard through the grapevine that Charlie McDonnell was releasing an album through DFTBA Records, and was startled to see my name on the track list. I had given him permission years ago to do with the song as he pleased, and it is funny and cute, so it shouldn't have been a major shock... but I was still bemused. I literally have not spoken a single word to Charlie since the short-lived success of his collab channel. He has not contacted me throughout any part of the process of this album's creation or promotion, and if it weren't for its success, I probably would never have heard that the song was being used at all. I'm not embarrassed about it, and I'm frankly very pleased to have gained new readers and viewers because of the song**, but I can't pretend I saw this coming.
Oh, and now to the fun part. One charming result of my unexpected love song comes in the form of the newly popularized google search "Hayley G Hoover political views." Charlie mentions in the song that, despite his phony affection for me, he and I "don't share the same political views." This is based solely on a few irresponsible things I happened to say around the time of the 2008 election (when I was, mind you, a high school senior, and therefore very naive and prone to iffy logic), about the fact that I tend to lean on the conservative end of the American political spectrum. I've since learned that it's useless to utter a single word about politics on the internet, because even the most flawlessly delivered arguments are still heard as "ME LIKE ABORTION" or "CAVEMAN HATE GAY MARRIAGE." But, to diffuse some of the rumors, I am neither a radical Democrat nor Republican. I am consistently much more liberal on social matters, but consider myself a fiscal conservative. And even still, I am only twenty years old, I'm financially dependent on my parents, and I understand that my opinions could change drastically in just the next five years. All I ask is that you not hear Charlie's song and decide from it that "since Charlie supported Obama, Hayley must be a Nazi," OR deduce that "since Hayley publicly supports gay rights, Charlie must be a homophobe." Both are shallow, neither is true.
In conclusion***, I respect and like Charlie McDonnell, find his song about me to be flattering and fun, and do not harbor negative feelings toward him. While I deeply hope the song will not forever be the number one result for my name in search engines, I am not embarrassed that it exists. I am also not a far-right fundamentalist extremest Karl Rove fan, nor am I Charlie's girlfriend of past, present, or future. Glad we've cleared that up.
Chipotle burritos this year: 31
Subscribers: 41,116
Nail color: "Devilish," Revlon
Miles run today: 3
*I considered wording that in a more polite fashion, but there really isn't any polite way to tell the story truthfully. On several occasions, the fiveawesomeguys announced weekly themes that were identical to the ones we'd created the week before. Charlie adopted a pet cactus plant, without so much as a nod in my direction, when I had been doing the same on our channel for a month. It's difficult to call that coincidence.
**Well, I'm not exactly pleased about being bombarded with comments along the lines of "wut did charlie see in dis fat bitch she iz so uggo he shud luv me insTeaD." But to those of you who have nice things to say-- or who just don't have cruel things to say-- hello!
*** "In conclusion." Lol. I feel like I'm writing an essay for high school English.
P.S. All I ate today was cinnamon rolls (3), a bagel sandwich (1), and chocolate chip cookies (endless, approximately 13). Livin' the dream.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
On Writing
In case nobody's ever told you, writing a book is hard.
I was hesitant to even attempt National Novel Writing Month this year, as it fell right in the middle of my chaotic final exam schedule (from hell!), but sometimes I simply cannot be stopped. I went at it hard and fast for something like five days, and I finally resigned in a puddle of homework and misery just after breaching 15,000 words. So it goes.
Though, in case you haven't heard (which you haven't, because I've been neglecting this blog to the point that I BARELY EVEN RECOGNIZE YOU PEOPLE! *sob*), I'm currently home on Winter Break until the beginning of January, and have nothing but free time in which to make waffles and force the imaginary friends inside my head to interact with each other on paper. After extensive editing, my NaNoWriMo novel now stands at a solid forty pages, and continues to blossom and shape itself every day. Like a Chia Pet you have to think really hard about. I'm growing to simultaneously love and abhor my main character, who has a habit of fearlessly using words that embarrass me to even type, but who also has a very justified adoration for nacho cheese. It is deeply, humongously, extremely likely that this story will never leave my Microsoft Word document and that you will never read a single one of its sentences, but I'm still a superstitious person when it comes to writing, so I don't want to drone on about it too much. However, just know that I really like this idea. I think it could amount to something someday, and I don't say that very often about my creative projects.
But all optimism aside, can we talk for a second about how freaking difficult it is to funnel thoughts into story form? Writing is so much more than "this happened, then this happened, metaphor, simile, ending." You have to plan events ahead of time so that details can weave themselves throughout the plot, but be careful not to plan too much, or else you'll lose all the excitement that comes with the actual writing. You have to find non-irritating ways to introduce the physical characteristics of people and settings, while still including enough dialogue to keep the reader's attention. Different characters need different voices, even though they're all coming from the same author's brain. Who knew art could have so much logic to it?
Still, I'm very excited about the work I've been churning out lately. This book is happening. My new blog project, Presence, is in full swing, and already has a self-sufficient community surrounding it, which blows my mind and warms my heart about sixty times a day. On top of that, I'm about to take on another writing job that will provide me with some real, tangible, spendable money, which will allow me to, like, drive a car and eat food, and will also allow me to say with more confidence, "I am a freelance writer." No more of this "I want to write" nonsense. No more "I'm going to be a writer when I grow up." I'm finally doing it, bitches. Watch me go.
On that note, I'm gonna crawl back into my fictional world until I finish a chapter. I hope you're all having a great week, that you're eating well, and that you don't hate me too much for the video I posted yesterday. As a reward for sitting through it, you may watch my dogs play in the snow. I'll see you guys soon!
Chipotle burritos this year: 31
Subscribers: 40,706
Comments from new subscribers who only watch me because Charlie told them to: Priceless.
I was hesitant to even attempt National Novel Writing Month this year, as it fell right in the middle of my chaotic final exam schedule (from hell!), but sometimes I simply cannot be stopped. I went at it hard and fast for something like five days, and I finally resigned in a puddle of homework and misery just after breaching 15,000 words. So it goes.
Though, in case you haven't heard (which you haven't, because I've been neglecting this blog to the point that I BARELY EVEN RECOGNIZE YOU PEOPLE! *sob*), I'm currently home on Winter Break until the beginning of January, and have nothing but free time in which to make waffles and force the imaginary friends inside my head to interact with each other on paper. After extensive editing, my NaNoWriMo novel now stands at a solid forty pages, and continues to blossom and shape itself every day. Like a Chia Pet you have to think really hard about. I'm growing to simultaneously love and abhor my main character, who has a habit of fearlessly using words that embarrass me to even type, but who also has a very justified adoration for nacho cheese. It is deeply, humongously, extremely likely that this story will never leave my Microsoft Word document and that you will never read a single one of its sentences, but I'm still a superstitious person when it comes to writing, so I don't want to drone on about it too much. However, just know that I really like this idea. I think it could amount to something someday, and I don't say that very often about my creative projects.
But all optimism aside, can we talk for a second about how freaking difficult it is to funnel thoughts into story form? Writing is so much more than "this happened, then this happened, metaphor, simile, ending." You have to plan events ahead of time so that details can weave themselves throughout the plot, but be careful not to plan too much, or else you'll lose all the excitement that comes with the actual writing. You have to find non-irritating ways to introduce the physical characteristics of people and settings, while still including enough dialogue to keep the reader's attention. Different characters need different voices, even though they're all coming from the same author's brain. Who knew art could have so much logic to it?
Still, I'm very excited about the work I've been churning out lately. This book is happening. My new blog project, Presence, is in full swing, and already has a self-sufficient community surrounding it, which blows my mind and warms my heart about sixty times a day. On top of that, I'm about to take on another writing job that will provide me with some real, tangible, spendable money, which will allow me to, like, drive a car and eat food, and will also allow me to say with more confidence, "I am a freelance writer." No more of this "I want to write" nonsense. No more "I'm going to be a writer when I grow up." I'm finally doing it, bitches. Watch me go.
On that note, I'm gonna crawl back into my fictional world until I finish a chapter. I hope you're all having a great week, that you're eating well, and that you don't hate me too much for the video I posted yesterday. As a reward for sitting through it, you may watch my dogs play in the snow. I'll see you guys soon!
Chipotle burritos this year: 31
Subscribers: 40,706
Comments from new subscribers who only watch me because Charlie told them to: Priceless.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Sunday on the Couch
For the past few months, I've avoided gushing about my relationship with The Situation online, for fear of driving people away with all the nauseating gooey loveness... but sometimes I just can't hold it back. I am so happy and so in love.
I'm lying on his couch, covered in a blanket, and he's crooked at the opposite end, asleep with his face against the seat back. My feet are pressed between his hands, keeping them warm. I never understood why people romanticize the act of watching someone sleep until right now. I like the way his shoulders sway up and down when he breathes. I like being able to study the contours of his face at rest. I like just being here with his body in close proximity to mine. It's surreal to think I've only known this person for a year, because nothing feels more like home than this.
Aaand I'm starting to sound like an obsessive basement serial killer or something. Which is exactly why I normally keep these thoughts to myself.
Chipotle burritos this year: 31
Subscribers: 39,831
I'm lying on his couch, covered in a blanket, and he's crooked at the opposite end, asleep with his face against the seat back. My feet are pressed between his hands, keeping them warm. I never understood why people romanticize the act of watching someone sleep until right now. I like the way his shoulders sway up and down when he breathes. I like being able to study the contours of his face at rest. I like just being here with his body in close proximity to mine. It's surreal to think I've only known this person for a year, because nothing feels more like home than this.
Aaand I'm starting to sound like an obsessive basement serial killer or something. Which is exactly why I normally keep these thoughts to myself.
Chipotle burritos this year: 31
Subscribers: 39,831
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Potter and French and Flu!
Aaaaah. Hey, guys. Between final exams and NaNoWriMo and packing and driving home for my winter break, I feel like I've been running laps ever since we last spoke. But you, Blog, are exactly what I need to unwind. You are like a big comfy pillow. Made of angels. And you smell like tea and bubble baths. Because I don't have the attention span to form paragraphs right now, I shall now proceed to make random bullet points of things on my mind.*
--I've now seen Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 two times, and have plans to see it again with my entire family tomorrow. It is BY FAR my favorite of the movies, and I have very few complaints. However, my complaints are valid, and they are as follows: 1) Why would Regulus have his full name on his bedroom door? 2) Why would Hermione pack more than one coat? 3) Since when are elevator doors impermeable to Dementors? 4) Why is Movie!Voldemort always so... green? 5) It's unfair to Harry to make him say idiotic things like "What's the trace?" just to reiterate plot points. 6) How did Ron not get hypothermia after he crawled out of ice water, fully clothed, and then hung out for fifteen minutes?
--My final exam in French didn't go spectacularly. There was a full page devoted to grammatical rules I'd barely ever heard of before, because most people in the class were either better prepared in high school, or have already taken a full year of French at the university level. I studied like it was my job, and I tried hard, so... we'll see. Je suis très, très stupide.
--Until this week, my mother has always operated under the assumption that the flu is a myth, and that to succumb to minor sickness is a sign of weakness. But, thanks to karma, my poor mom was just attacked by her first flu in twenty-five years. She's infected my dad, and is now inevitably infecting me. As of this moment, I feel fine, other than a few nerve-wracking body aches... but I am coming to terms with the fact that I'll probably be spending my Thanksgiving holiday... losing food.
--My new writing venture, Presence, is getting off to a crazy start. I already have more blog-related email than I can respond to, which is both daunting and amazing. I'm still finding my footing and trying to figure out exactly what the site is going to be, but its readers are already blowing me away with their insight and humor and kindness toward each other and geez!
--Nanowrimo is quite the challenge this year, but I'm still going. I had to take a full week off to focus on finishing my academic quarter, but I've spent a large part of today trying to get back on track. I've accepted that I might not finish the race to 50,000, but I'm not going to let myself quit. Who's with me!?
--I just posted a new video on hayleyghoover, and I think it's pretty good. I bitch and satirize and sit on the floor of my dorm room in front of a blanket I taped to my dresser. A must-see!
And that's pretty much it, as far as I can remember. What have you guys been up to? What were your feelings on Deathly Hallows? Any tips on how I can fight this flu before it happens? What's your blood type? Really, anything you have to contribute that will give me a break from writing would be greatly appreciated. I seriously might die in front of my computer, fingers outstretched, gasping for breath. Or maybe I'm a drama queen.
Either way, I hope you're all having a lovely day, and I can't wait to catch up with you again soon!
Chipotle burritos this year: 30
Subscribers: 38,636
*That sounds exactly like the beginning of a second grade essay. "My name is Hayley Hoover, and I am going to tell you about my favorite things. This is a list of my favorite things."
--I've now seen Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 two times, and have plans to see it again with my entire family tomorrow. It is BY FAR my favorite of the movies, and I have very few complaints. However, my complaints are valid, and they are as follows: 1) Why would Regulus have his full name on his bedroom door? 2) Why would Hermione pack more than one coat? 3) Since when are elevator doors impermeable to Dementors? 4) Why is Movie!Voldemort always so... green? 5) It's unfair to Harry to make him say idiotic things like "What's the trace?" just to reiterate plot points. 6) How did Ron not get hypothermia after he crawled out of ice water, fully clothed, and then hung out for fifteen minutes?
--My final exam in French didn't go spectacularly. There was a full page devoted to grammatical rules I'd barely ever heard of before, because most people in the class were either better prepared in high school, or have already taken a full year of French at the university level. I studied like it was my job, and I tried hard, so... we'll see. Je suis très, très stupide.
--Until this week, my mother has always operated under the assumption that the flu is a myth, and that to succumb to minor sickness is a sign of weakness. But, thanks to karma, my poor mom was just attacked by her first flu in twenty-five years. She's infected my dad, and is now inevitably infecting me. As of this moment, I feel fine, other than a few nerve-wracking body aches... but I am coming to terms with the fact that I'll probably be spending my Thanksgiving holiday... losing food.
--My new writing venture, Presence, is getting off to a crazy start. I already have more blog-related email than I can respond to, which is both daunting and amazing. I'm still finding my footing and trying to figure out exactly what the site is going to be, but its readers are already blowing me away with their insight and humor and kindness toward each other and geez!
--Nanowrimo is quite the challenge this year, but I'm still going. I had to take a full week off to focus on finishing my academic quarter, but I've spent a large part of today trying to get back on track. I've accepted that I might not finish the race to 50,000, but I'm not going to let myself quit. Who's with me!?
--I just posted a new video on hayleyghoover, and I think it's pretty good. I bitch and satirize and sit on the floor of my dorm room in front of a blanket I taped to my dresser. A must-see!
And that's pretty much it, as far as I can remember. What have you guys been up to? What were your feelings on Deathly Hallows? Any tips on how I can fight this flu before it happens? What's your blood type? Really, anything you have to contribute that will give me a break from writing would be greatly appreciated. I seriously might die in front of my computer, fingers outstretched, gasping for breath. Or maybe I'm a drama queen.
Either way, I hope you're all having a lovely day, and I can't wait to catch up with you again soon!
Chipotle burritos this year: 30
Subscribers: 38,636
*That sounds exactly like the beginning of a second grade essay. "My name is Hayley Hoover, and I am going to tell you about my favorite things. This is a list of my favorite things."
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Presence
It drives my mother crazy, but I've always found that the best time to start a project is in the middle of chaos. What better occasion to take up scrapbooking than when your bedroom floor is covered with clothes? Who's to say that wrapping Christmas presents is a task better suited to a clean table than to a desk scattered with open paint bottles? And really, can you think of a more convenient time to start an online magazine than halfway through NaNoWriMo and college finals?
Ah yes, so the doughnut's finally out of the bag*. This project was originally slated for takeoff on September 1st, but my classes ended up being much more challenging than I'd anticipated, and I had to push it back until I got things under control. A few of my stealthier blog readers started to catch on months ago (looking at you, Whimsy, Alison, fantasyvfacts, Emily, and Lauren), and it's pained me to ignore their inquiries until I was ready for a big reveal... but today is finally the day. You, blog readers, are the very first ones to hear about my new online-magazine-of-sorts-slash-advice-column, Presence.
I decided to start this little sideline writing project after the overwhelming response to my posts on here regarding gay rights, weight loss and body image. I've received an astounding number of messages asking for blogs about certain topics universal to the teenage experience, for more "issue posts," and for other sorts of big-sisterly advice. A few people even suggested that I write a weekly advice column on this blog, and loads of others have asked for recommendations of books, youtube channels, movies, etc. This all really intrigued me, but I couldn't help but wonder... what qualifies me to be anyone's big sister figure? Most of the Hayleylujah Chorus readers are here because of my youtube videos, or fiveawesomegirls, or some connection to me in real life. This blog and its surrounding community is so much fun, and I absolutely never intend to let it go, but maybe it's time for me to also have a satellite project that's more about the readers and less about me.
So, to answer the inevitable questions, the Hayleylujah Chorus is not changing at all. I'm going to keep coming here and being equally obnoxious on my regular sporadic, unpredictable schedule, talking about the same range of things. I'm just branching out into another area, too, with a little less first person and a little more reader interaction. If you're interested in following my new project (although you are under absolutely no obligation and I'll try not to talk about it too much over here, so as not to alienate those who aren't part of it), you can click here to learn more about it. I hope to see some of you other there, maybe, and if not, I'll see you guys around these parts soon!
Chipotle burritos this year: 30
Subscribers: 37,959 (Thanks, Charlie.)
*"Cat" has never made sense to me.
Ah yes, so the doughnut's finally out of the bag*. This project was originally slated for takeoff on September 1st, but my classes ended up being much more challenging than I'd anticipated, and I had to push it back until I got things under control. A few of my stealthier blog readers started to catch on months ago (looking at you, Whimsy, Alison, fantasyvfacts, Emily, and Lauren), and it's pained me to ignore their inquiries until I was ready for a big reveal... but today is finally the day. You, blog readers, are the very first ones to hear about my new online-magazine-of-sorts-slash-advice-column, Presence.
I decided to start this little sideline writing project after the overwhelming response to my posts on here regarding gay rights, weight loss and body image. I've received an astounding number of messages asking for blogs about certain topics universal to the teenage experience, for more "issue posts," and for other sorts of big-sisterly advice. A few people even suggested that I write a weekly advice column on this blog, and loads of others have asked for recommendations of books, youtube channels, movies, etc. This all really intrigued me, but I couldn't help but wonder... what qualifies me to be anyone's big sister figure? Most of the Hayleylujah Chorus readers are here because of my youtube videos, or fiveawesomegirls, or some connection to me in real life. This blog and its surrounding community is so much fun, and I absolutely never intend to let it go, but maybe it's time for me to also have a satellite project that's more about the readers and less about me.
So, to answer the inevitable questions, the Hayleylujah Chorus is not changing at all. I'm going to keep coming here and being equally obnoxious on my regular sporadic, unpredictable schedule, talking about the same range of things. I'm just branching out into another area, too, with a little less first person and a little more reader interaction. If you're interested in following my new project (although you are under absolutely no obligation and I'll try not to talk about it too much over here, so as not to alienate those who aren't part of it), you can click here to learn more about it. I hope to see some of you other there, maybe, and if not, I'll see you guys around these parts soon!
Chipotle burritos this year: 30
Subscribers: 37,959 (Thanks, Charlie.)
*"Cat" has never made sense to me.
Monday, November 8, 2010
Gaaaaaah!
I am in an unpleasant mood, Blog, and I will tell you why: GROUP PROJECTS ARE THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE.
This quarter, I've stupidly found myself enrolled in a class whose entire grade, unbeknownst to me, consists of five ten-page papers, to be completed with the "help" of several other group members. I volunteered to compile and edit four of the five projects, less out of the kindness of my heart than out of my need to be in control of my own grade, and have therefore spent at least two weeks out of every month this quarter stressing myself to the point of near combustion over a class I don't even care about.
I like all the people I'm assigned to work with, but only two of them have consistently put in their share of time and effort, leaving me and one other girl (Brittany; she's adorable) to write several supplementary pages at the last minute, every time. As a group, we've scheduled a few meeting times every week, and me, Brittany, and one other guy have spent the majority of these meetings shaking our heads and laughing about the fact that we are always the only ones to even show up. On top of that, out of the people who have sent me their work on time each week, the vast majority of emails I receive are written on about a third grade level. At the beginning, I chalked this up to the fact that I'm too harsh a critic, and I devoted a few hours to correcting their mistakes without mentioning it. But it came to the point in my editing process this weekend that I actually called my parents to read them excerpts from the drafts I had to work with. My dad couldn't speak through his laughter. My point is, if these guys were just horrible writers, that would be one thing. But they must be taking advantage of the extra editing time I put in, because if they turned in papers like that to teachers, they would be failing out of school. Either that, or I'm setting the standards for myself way too high and should stop working so hard for my grades, since writing like that can pass a class.
Meanwhile, everything I do in my French class comes out to a C, even when I trick myself into thinking I'm improving. My high school French teacher was this little quirky, lovable, crazy ball of hyperactivity, and while she had enough enthusiasm to be heard around the school building, I definitely did not learn enough to prepare myself for the level of course I'm taking now. The problem is, my college has three ten-week trimesters rather than two semesters, so by the time we stopped reviewing and launched into the new material, it was too late for me to drop the class and rework my whole schedule. And even if I could have switched to a lower level, I'd already spent over 200 freaking dollars on textbooks that were shrink-wrapped, so they can't be sold back to the bookstore once they've been opened. I had no other option but to stick with it, so I've been raking in the C's and crossing my fingers for my upcoming exams.
Tomorrow morning, I have to go into a room alone with my professor and hold a five-minute conversation with her, entirely in French, about a random question. She emailed us some examples, and these aren't questions like "Tell me about your family." A few of the options include "Do you believe celebrities deserve to be harassed by the paparazzi because they chose to be famous?" and "Do you believe in predestination?" These are things I'd have a hard time talking about in English for five minutes, and I still stumble when answering some yes-or-no questions in class. A few days ago, I wrote a paragraph in response to each of her examples, and I've spent the weekend going over them and practicing reading them aloud. I don't know how else to study, since I don't have any idea which vocabulary I'll need, and it's the grammar that confuses me. This exam accounts for 10% of my final grade, and I have one more written test next week worth 15%. It really stresses me out knowing that I'm currently resting at a C, and that a whole 25% of my grade is still up in the air. I don't know how I'm supposed to not freak out about this.
Meanwhile, it's November, and my cursed competitive nature would not allow me to make the mature decision to not sign up for this year's NaNoWriMo. It's an added stress to know that my novel's just a click away, itching to be written, but that I have to ignore it. It's more important to pass French than it is to maintain an impressive word count, and Nano will still be going on in two weeks when I'm home from school with nothing to do... but I still don't like this. I started off really strong this year, and I'm worried I'm wasting all my first-week energy by taking such an early break. Gaaah.
Also, to make matters more fun, the stress of school combined with Daylight Savings to throw me off my regular medication schedule, and I missed a headache pill today, which has resulted in one of the worst and longest I've ever had. It's 7:15 now, and I've had strong pain in my neck, face, and the right side of my brain since 3:30 this afternoon. I also had to turn down an offer from my friend Carina to go see Ben Folds tonight-- for free, since they had an extra ticket-- because of my need to study French and my unreliable group for that other class. It doesn't help that Ben Folds has been tweeting pictures all evening of a city right nearby, just to rub in my face that I can't be there. Lame.
Anyway, I appreciate you being here for me to complain to, guys. I needed this little break from squeezing my head between my hands and throwing my French book across the room. I can't predict when you'll be seeing me here again this month, because I don't know when everything's going to calm down, but I promise I haven't forgotten you. I hope you're all having an easier week than I am. :)
Chipotle burritos this year: 30
Subscribers: 36,640
Nail color: I've been bare for a couple weeks, just for lack of time.
This quarter, I've stupidly found myself enrolled in a class whose entire grade, unbeknownst to me, consists of five ten-page papers, to be completed with the "help" of several other group members. I volunteered to compile and edit four of the five projects, less out of the kindness of my heart than out of my need to be in control of my own grade, and have therefore spent at least two weeks out of every month this quarter stressing myself to the point of near combustion over a class I don't even care about.
I like all the people I'm assigned to work with, but only two of them have consistently put in their share of time and effort, leaving me and one other girl (Brittany; she's adorable) to write several supplementary pages at the last minute, every time. As a group, we've scheduled a few meeting times every week, and me, Brittany, and one other guy have spent the majority of these meetings shaking our heads and laughing about the fact that we are always the only ones to even show up. On top of that, out of the people who have sent me their work on time each week, the vast majority of emails I receive are written on about a third grade level. At the beginning, I chalked this up to the fact that I'm too harsh a critic, and I devoted a few hours to correcting their mistakes without mentioning it. But it came to the point in my editing process this weekend that I actually called my parents to read them excerpts from the drafts I had to work with. My dad couldn't speak through his laughter. My point is, if these guys were just horrible writers, that would be one thing. But they must be taking advantage of the extra editing time I put in, because if they turned in papers like that to teachers, they would be failing out of school. Either that, or I'm setting the standards for myself way too high and should stop working so hard for my grades, since writing like that can pass a class.
Meanwhile, everything I do in my French class comes out to a C, even when I trick myself into thinking I'm improving. My high school French teacher was this little quirky, lovable, crazy ball of hyperactivity, and while she had enough enthusiasm to be heard around the school building, I definitely did not learn enough to prepare myself for the level of course I'm taking now. The problem is, my college has three ten-week trimesters rather than two semesters, so by the time we stopped reviewing and launched into the new material, it was too late for me to drop the class and rework my whole schedule. And even if I could have switched to a lower level, I'd already spent over 200 freaking dollars on textbooks that were shrink-wrapped, so they can't be sold back to the bookstore once they've been opened. I had no other option but to stick with it, so I've been raking in the C's and crossing my fingers for my upcoming exams.
Tomorrow morning, I have to go into a room alone with my professor and hold a five-minute conversation with her, entirely in French, about a random question. She emailed us some examples, and these aren't questions like "Tell me about your family." A few of the options include "Do you believe celebrities deserve to be harassed by the paparazzi because they chose to be famous?" and "Do you believe in predestination?" These are things I'd have a hard time talking about in English for five minutes, and I still stumble when answering some yes-or-no questions in class. A few days ago, I wrote a paragraph in response to each of her examples, and I've spent the weekend going over them and practicing reading them aloud. I don't know how else to study, since I don't have any idea which vocabulary I'll need, and it's the grammar that confuses me. This exam accounts for 10% of my final grade, and I have one more written test next week worth 15%. It really stresses me out knowing that I'm currently resting at a C, and that a whole 25% of my grade is still up in the air. I don't know how I'm supposed to not freak out about this.
Meanwhile, it's November, and my cursed competitive nature would not allow me to make the mature decision to not sign up for this year's NaNoWriMo. It's an added stress to know that my novel's just a click away, itching to be written, but that I have to ignore it. It's more important to pass French than it is to maintain an impressive word count, and Nano will still be going on in two weeks when I'm home from school with nothing to do... but I still don't like this. I started off really strong this year, and I'm worried I'm wasting all my first-week energy by taking such an early break. Gaaah.
Also, to make matters more fun, the stress of school combined with Daylight Savings to throw me off my regular medication schedule, and I missed a headache pill today, which has resulted in one of the worst and longest I've ever had. It's 7:15 now, and I've had strong pain in my neck, face, and the right side of my brain since 3:30 this afternoon. I also had to turn down an offer from my friend Carina to go see Ben Folds tonight-- for free, since they had an extra ticket-- because of my need to study French and my unreliable group for that other class. It doesn't help that Ben Folds has been tweeting pictures all evening of a city right nearby, just to rub in my face that I can't be there. Lame.
Anyway, I appreciate you being here for me to complain to, guys. I needed this little break from squeezing my head between my hands and throwing my French book across the room. I can't predict when you'll be seeing me here again this month, because I don't know when everything's going to calm down, but I promise I haven't forgotten you. I hope you're all having an easier week than I am. :)
Chipotle burritos this year: 30
Subscribers: 36,640
Nail color: I've been bare for a couple weeks, just for lack of time.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)