Public

Working a practically full-time job based out of my laptop has quickly taught me that I’m much less of an introvert than I’d originally thought. While I’d still choose a bag of popcorn and old episodes of The Office over a college lawn party nine times out of ten, there’s something oddly draining about spending the vast majority of your day secluded in the same room. It feels almost pointless to wear makeup or attractive clothes when you’re only in class for four hours, and it becomes less and less comforting to lie in your bed at the end of the day when you’ve been there since two. Emily Dickinson-ing can take its toll on a person. So, because I’ve dedicated 2012 to mimicking adulthood and trying to get a sense of how I plan to live once I’m done with school next winter, I’m pushing myself to move out of my comfort zone, and tonight I’m coming to you live from a corner table at a coffee shop.

It’s a little bit distracting—one of my teachers is across the room, two nearby girls are noisily playing Scrabble, and the soundtrack keeps fading from The Rolling Stones to Teagan and Sara to something drum-based and vaguely African—but this tea is comforting and it feels nice to bring you, Blog, out on a field trip. There’s something charming about typing away in my little world, knowing that twenty other Little Worlds are happening around me. That bearded guy in the armchair is probably writing a screenplay. Those two blondes are maybe on a second date. The laptoppy blue haze on one girl’s face just screams Tumblr. These people all value being alone just as much as I do, but they’re choosing to be alone together. I could get used to this.

So what is there to say tonight? I had a really pleasant weekend. One of my best friends, Heather (she was my roommate last year, but transferred to a school near my parents’ house, for those playing along at home) came and stayed over for Friday and Saturday. With some other friends, we spent the former night ingesting things and watching movies and being ridiculous (my memories are admittedly scattered—at one point, I debated with a friend why he should let me draw on his face with marker), and the latter night at an annual dance held by our school’s LGBT group, the theme for which was “Super Queeros.” My Sailor Venus costume was unparalleled. Sunday was lazy and included a few hours of walking aimlessly uptown with Heather, talking about every stupid thing that wandered into our minds. It upsets me on a weekly basis that we no longer live within an arm’s-length of each other, but distance does, at least, make the heart grow fonder of walking together in the cold.

In other news, I continue to make progress with The Book project, and I’ve also returned to an old, previously abandoned novel. Before starting this post, I reread what I’d worked on this time last year, and those fifty stupid pages that I’d wanted to vomit all over at one time? They were surprisingly… not horrible. I’ll probably change my mind about it ten thousand more times before I ever finish the story, but for tonight, I’m going to allow myself to feel good. I can write sometimes! Who knew?

On that note, I’ve gotta get out of here to free up room for other Poets and Bards who actually plan on buying more than one cup of tea. But hey, maybe I’ll be back tomorrow! My goal for this week is to get out of my apartment more often and to judge myself less harshly when it comes to first drafts and valiant efforts. What’s yours?

P.S. New Answerly video today! This one is about not being a drunkard. Features photos of me being a drunkard.