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Sunday, March 14, 2010

A Blog About Me (unlike all the others) (that's sarcastic)

I've recently come to the conclusion that my main talent in life is talking about myself.

Now, by that I do not mean "I'm not good at anything that matters!" or "I'm so in love with myself that I hate myself for it!" I just appear to feel the very most in my element when I'm either blogging, making videos, working on reflective essays, or writing in first person. While I'm far from skilled at expressing my feelings verbally (I tend to throw around "I don't know!" a lot when confronted with personal questions, because the part of my brain that processes emotion appears to be quite distant from the part that formulates my speech), I will say that I fancy myself somewhat introspective and at least beyond proficient at expressing transcendental concepts through writing. Of course, correct me if I'm wrong; you're the objective ones here. But that's how I see it.

So that sparks in my mind a rather pressing question*. How does one make a career out of talking about herself? Also, how does she manage to find things to say about herself once she's out of school and living that inevitable apartment-for-one life of Spaghettios and utter boredom and loneliness? Why is she receiving a multi-thousand-dollar education when she will forever be numerically illiterate and is likely to work at Barnes and Noble or something until she dies at her computer screen, in front of an unspectacular, unfinished, unread novel?

But really, with all melodrama and nonsensical stream of consciousness cast aside, what about this talent of mine is a talent? How is it at all marketable, or even worthy of having? For years, I've prided myself on being relatable to my fellow teenagers, and that knowledge has been enough to make me feel like these self-reflective internet hobbies are worthwhile. But... in six months, I will be twenty years old. Perhaps I'll always be an adult who better remembers the pain and fun and torture and awesomeness of adolescence, but I'm about to be an adult, and I can't expect to hold on to this intangible Relatability forever. And that's scary.

I don't know. (Ha, see what I did there?) There's no conclusion to this, no point to be made. It's just late at night-- 1AM, at that time when thoughts tend to roll at a faster pace than one can comprehend them-- and I thought I'd open a blank blog document and see what spewed out of my fingertips. If you have any input to provide at all, I'd be very grateful. If not... I feel you.

Chipotle burritos this year: 11
Subscribers: 25,733
Nail Color: "One Perfect Coral," Revlon

*Consonance!

82 comments:

Stefan said...

I know so many English majors that struggled with the question of what to do after college. there's no good answer for a major that has no clear path to a job.

Making videos can be a job. writing articles for publications of some type can be a job. even just studying youth culture can be a job. Librarians are paid to buy books all day (sort of, my wife would explain it a little different). In fact I know a lot of English majors that became librarians.

In all honesty you have a whole audience here who are just dying to buy a novelization of your life. There has to be ways to use this audience to your advantage (in a non-sleazy way obviously :)).

I'm lucky that I was in love with making websites. there was a really clear career path. And before that I wanted to be a mad scientist. So clearly I've always had a plan.

Whatever happens. Just don't fall into a career you don't like. It's too easy to do when you're not sure what to do in the first place.

stay strong. let me know if you need any website help, though I'm sure you know plenty of people who could do that.

Krazy_4_Kelly said...

I understand where you're coming from. I'm very good at listening to people and giving advice and I love when people tell me stories and the only thing I have ever seen myself doing is being a psychologist and I always having that annoying thought at the back of my mind of what will I do if this doesn't work out as I hope it will.

Not entirely the same as becoming an author, but I think I still understand your feelings.

The only bit of advice I can give you is to keep believing in yourself. I believe that you will become a published author because what you write is what I love to read and so many others feel the same way as I do. With that being said, just keep doing what your good at and don't worry about making money from it. Focus on your passion and the money will follow. =)

Phyllis said...

C'mon, Hayley. Being able to relate to people through writing is such a talent. Think of all the books you've read that melted your brain for a second because how beautiful and right it was written, or the emotion it fully developed. You are only 19 and have a built-in fan base. 25 thousand subscribers. At least a thousand blog readers, most of which will buy the book you will publish. You are already working on three novels and you haven't finished your first year of college. Not to toot your horn, but, kid, you are going in the right direction.

Many people, who try to make it, fail because they don't have IT. You got IT.

Today, many people have made careers talking about themselves. The real question is, do you want to? What do you want to say? What do you have to say?

Just know that we are listening/reading/watching. You have us tuned in.

-Phyllis (goingforthegold, thanks for the post yesterday. :)

Dani said...

Your fans don't love you because you are a teenager, they love you for your relatability as a person. That won't change when your age does, so don't worry.
As far as making a career out of writing about yourself, you could always become a columnist. That's a real job.
You are a talented person and far too idealistic to give up on all your dreams and settle for a crappy job you don't care about. Everything will work out in the end. You aren't wasting your money on school because you are learning valuable skills and things about yourself that will help you in whatever you do in the future. Best of luck!

Chrystie said...

Hayley, Hayley, Hayley. I know where you're coming from, and it sucks. You know what your passion is and you'd like to do it for a career. But can you? Will it work out? There obviously is no definite answer to this. But I do think that you have talent. You write well and relate to people. It's worth it to pursue it. Otherwise you'll be wondering what if? It's true that it may be hard and take lots of time, but it'll be worth it. So maybe you have to find a daytime job until your writing picks up... worse things could happen. I'm sure it will be stressful and there will be a lot of pressure. But you have tons of people in your life who will support you in the pursuit of your passion. :)

Erica said...

I wouldn't worry too much about not being a teenager anymore. Hank and John aren't teenagers, but they're still successful on youtube. Everything will be okay. Even Kenneth got his wallet back.
Also, as you get older, so will your readership/viewers. You're not supposed to know what you want to do with your life at this point.

Jess the Nerdfighting Band Geek said...

Just go out and do something amazing. You're not gonna be a spaghetti o's girl. And even if you are, none of us will leave until the most interesting thing you have to say is "I counted a total of 98 clouds passing by my window in the past hour. It's kinda windy"

Leah said...

You can always write nonfiction. Chuck Klosterman makes a living by talking about himself, doesn't he?

ThePeterIs said...

I wouldn't worry about it. I mean first of all, I think you do have talent, but I'll let you read the other 60 comments for reassurance of that.

Instead I'd like to suggest that you don't need to find your perfect niche and be some amazingly talented person to enjoy your life. I'd guess that in incredibly small portion of people would call themselves "talented" or feel that they have any sort of cultural significance. And yet a lot of those people live perfectly wonderful and enjoyable lives.

Now I'm not you, so I don't know, maybe being thought of as significant by other people is a vital piece of your definition of a successful life. But if not, then don't sweat it. There's an infinite supply of lovely things all around us everyday to make life enjoyable. Follow your bliss.

Sarah said...

Like everyone else on here will reiterate, you are fantastic Hayley, and again, your relateability has nothing to do with your age. I am 24 and have loved you since the time I first stumbled upon you in 5AG.

And if your novel writing is anything as fantastic as your blog writing, I would buy your book in a second. Like you, and 99% of your fans I bet, I read A LOT, and there is a LOT of SHIT out there that has managed to get published. Your writing reminds me of the insight and beauty that spews from the characters of John Greens books. In fact often as I read your blog posts I think "Hayley is such like a character John Green would write. Witty and intelligent, and novelistically fantastical to read, beautiful and charming, imperfect and completely real, and someone readers fall in love with"

If you poured into a character or a book even half of yourself that you pour into these amazing and inspirational blog posts, you will have a best selling book.

You are amazing. And being 20 is nothing! It's the 25 I am dreading!

Much love from New Zealand,
Sarah

Mack said...

Last night we watched "Julie and Julia." Julia liked food. For awhile, it seemed like that didn't mean much. (In fact it actually probably would've been cool if they discussed that more in the movie). But of course, her love of food led her to cooking and her book and TV show.

Also, I think your skill at blogging comes from a fascinating ability to use a story arch even when you're talking about just the ideas that occur to you. Sometimes it's an arch of events, sometimes an arch of emotion, and in this case, an arch of ideas.

"Story arch" is the only way I can describe it. It's also that "relate-able" quality, I think.

Brenna said...

A lot of people say the become 'adults' at age eighteen, but I really don't think adulthood has anything to do with age. We grow up in stages, if and when we're ready to make certain changes.

If you're worried about finding a job, that's not as big a deal as it seems. You'll find something. If you're worried about keeping your "awesome" while working that job, well, it's not always about being happy in that job, but sometimes it's more about finding happiness in everything else you do. I'm sure you'll find a balance.

Oh, and even if most of your "great works" are written in first person, you'll find that that is actually more common than you think. It may not be easy to talk about emotions for you (or for anyone, really), but talking about things you're intimately familiar with (such as yourself) is far simpler than talking about other things. It's like that saying, "write about what you know."

~TheLunarFire~

Elisabeth said...

Good at talking about yourself. Hmm. Motivational speaker?

In all seriousness, what loads of people have already said here is true. 90% of your subscribers would buy your book. Plus, if you write novels as well as you write your blog, you're already better than a few published authors.

How about a postgrad degree? Some year-long courses might give you more directly job-applicable skills. So you can be an English teacher or a journalist until you become a bestselling author.

Emily said...

Honestly Hayley, I think you're an amazing writer. Whether it's blogging, your college essay, your videos, or just... talking about yourself. I think you should do what makes you happy. And if it's writing, then you should write. Life's about risks right? Writing is generally based off of luck, and this is a hell of a risk. I think you should take it.

BenCracknell said...

I was thinking of some well thought out, I-know-exactly-how-you-fell, comment, but thinking about it again, I realise that I totally agree with you. Of course, I wouldn't class you as one of my IRL friends, and I certainly wouldn't say that I know you on any aspet, but after watching your videos for 2 years and reading your blog for God knowns how long, I feel like I have a borderline connection with you.
I don't know, maybe that sounds spastic, but I feel like I have the utter privilege of saying that I can read the Internet-tacular thoughts of miss HayleyGanstahHoover.

Molly said...

I know exactly what you mean when you say that your speech doesn't match up to your writing. I'll be trying to explain my ideas in my English class and my teacher will sit there looking at me in a strange way. He knows I have a good idea but my words twist themselves around each other making everyone else confused. A lot of the time I end up saying "OH I don't really know what I'm on about." But it's so much easier when I'm writing.

I love reading your blog, please keep writing regularly!

Arletta said...

Although I am not studying English, I understand what you are going through. I am also unsure about the success of the path that I've chosen. Art is simply not the path to fortune. Even if I have talent, not many people have the money to buy art and hang it on their walls.
Though it may not be the path to success, this is what I really do enjoy doing. I can't imagine myself doing anything else. I'm going for it no matter what.
If you love writing that much, I suggest you go for it.

JustAGirl said...

I've heard the best books are whent he author wites what they know--their own life. Use your own life experiences to write. If you are truly honest with yourself and your writing you can be successful.

kira902k said...

If YOU'RE worried about to do with your considerably large talents, then I don't know where that puts me.
You want to be a writer. And you're amazing at writing. I think your path is clear.
And anyway, you have to be able to base your stories off of yourself, so I guess being able to write about yourself is a good thing, no?

Anyway, I don't know anything.
And don't worry about growing up. I know a couple 30 year olds that are still teenagers at heart. :)

Sidsel said...

Oh, Hayley, I feel YOU! I'm 20 and I'm freaking out, especially because only NOW do I understand myself as a teenager. What use is that when I'm not one anymore? And I feel like I havn't done half of what a teenager should have experienced. I just want time to slow down, to yell: wait for me, I'm not there yet!

Anonymous said...

Oh, Hayley, I feel YOU! I'm 20 and I'm freaking out, especially because only NOW do I understand myself as a teenager. What use is that when I'm not one anymore? And I feel like I havn't done half of what a teenager should have experienced. I just want time to slow down, to yell: wait for me, I'm not there yet!

- Sidsel

(sorry if my comment's here two times)

to_thine_own_self said...

I don't really have anything else to say that hasn't already been said in other peoples' comments, so I'll just say this:
I'm really glad to be growing up in the same time that you are, Hayley. We're pretty much the same age and graduated from high school the same year. It's so nice knowing that what I'm going through is no different than what you are going through (as well as countless other people our age).
I think I take comfort from the fact that an awesome girl has doubts and fears and all of those feelings just like I do.

And, Hayley...please don't worry too much. You already have a loyal audience who wants to read whatever you publish. You'll do completely fine.

Kelly said...

(sorryforthelengthofthis)

In response to: "What about this talent of mine is a talent? How is it at all marketable, or even worthy of having?"

I know nothing about how marketable it is, unless you play the part of Ke$ha or Heidi Montag (but that would be the easy way out), however I would fervently disagree with anyone who argues it isn't worthy of having.

I think I have the same "talent" and have obviously questioned it enough to feel I should put it in quotations. However, I believe that being able to be introspective and reflective at the same time is rare and special, which is why people gravitate towards it- you word things that they feel but hadn't been able to express to themselves. The difference between you and Heidi Montag is that your "blogs about you" are about more than "selfishness"- sure, you might write them purely for YOU as therapy, but they do help others because they address so many universal themes about life in an offbeat, sarcastic manner that people love.

Oh, and I disagree- I think you can hold on to your "Intangible Relatability" forever and the impact is has on people doesn't have to lessen as you age. Quite the opposite actually, because in general, the older adults grow the more they forget what it was like to be a teenager (some Albus Dumbledore line is echoing in my head about now). So if you hold onto that by continuing to do what you do best, you'll be providing a great service to the world of teenagers out there by showing them that adults can be angsty and can question and challenge life too.

I know you know all of that, but it never hurts to hear it again. Oh, and I think you should be the next Joel Stein. I don't know if you read TIME, but I could easily see you usurping his job :)

Anonymous said...

Relax. No one thinks you're an adult till you're 30. You've got plenty of time :)

Kristina said...

Yeah. When you figure it out, let me know.

Kristen said...

I literally just wrote a mini-piece on this exact subject yesterday.

"It didn't have to be this way!" he shouts, and I believe him. No one should be so cramped. Minimized and folded over. Snipped, clipped, and neatly tucked away in spaces barely big enough to breathe. Our edges straining, fit into hollows where there is more skin than air. A crush of limbs curled over and under and through each other. Fetuses waiting for a rebirth.

And when it comes, it's not to an angel chorus. Not a burst of inspiration or heavenly light. There is only the burden of one more body in the world. A stain of drying liquid, a chest heaving with disbelief and incompetence. And it begins. The striving, the sweating, getting no where. Thrust into the dirty air with no warning, no welcome. Expected to be great and do great things with no example to follow."

We're in this together.

kristinalaursen said...

Keep in mind, we're growing up with you and we still need people to relate to.

June'sTunes said...

Hayley G, I have the answer to your question, how do you make a career of talking about yourself? The answer: do what Tyra Banks did and become a talk show host. However, instead suffocating people with words only about yourself, aim it in the more Ellen Degeneras fashion, where she includes humor. You would be good at that. You are a very funny gal.

Abby said...

I don't know, either. The real world is scary.
But you'll make it.
<3

Nicola said...

You could always market yourself as a kind of female Augusten Burroughs... except without the traumatic childhood. Or David Sedaris.

natasha.self said...

You could be Carrie (but less annoying) and have a newspaper column...

Scott said...

They say that you free yourself by knowing yourself. Freedom is different for everyone, but if for you, it is sitting in front of your camera and screaming "This is Hayley's Vlog," or being at your desk in front of your laptop pining for the right adjective to use to make what you're saying just right, I think that you should follow your bliss.

Fuck marketability. What is and is not marketable is determined by old men in suits trying to turn a dollar. It it equal parts cold and inconstant. But what is constant is your incredible ability to not only capture an audience - but to make them genuinely feel something.

To quote Remember Me, "whatever you do in this life will be irrelevant, but it's important that you do it. Because no one else will."

Much love. x

Emily B. said...

Hayley,

Do not worry about these things. You are a wonderful writer and person. Everything will come together for you. Just please do not stop being the wonderful Hayley we all know you are :)

Morgan said...

What do the John Greens and Sarah Dessens and Megan McCaffertys do? They project their memories of adolescence, and who they were(who they are becoming), and what they realized(what they are continuing to understand), into, um, novels. You happen to be very good at writing, you have a distinct voice, plus you're insightful/adorable.
That talent of yours that you're talking about is EXACTLY WHAT WRITERS DO.
Even though it sucks, you aren't allowed to feel like everything is going to be alright all the time because then life would be too easy.
You have a great family, cool friends, the Situation, and, even though you sometimes don't remember, A LOT of talent. You can be writer. I know.

I promise to buy 10 copies of your first published book. Use that money to buy yourself some Chipotle. :)
I love you. Lots of people do.
Don't forget that.
Yeah.

Tom said...

Wow. Saw your tweet about the comments, but seriously, wow. That's a pretty astounding response.

I mostly agree with what Peter said.* (Kid's smart.) I'd also like to add a couple things:

The idea of a "career" for a creative person, as a single endeavor that will fufill you for the next 40 years and will be both satisfying to your artistic side/lucrative, is kind of really, really ridiculous. Don't assume you have to find something like that. Just do anything you can to make yourself happy in the moment.

When I first saw this last night, I was tempted to just say something really sarcastic like "Hmm, you enjoy writing and you're a really fantastic writer... Oh, well, maybe you should give writing a shot." But seriously, I really don't feel like writing fiction is that that different from writing blogs/making funny YouTube videos/even tweeting. It's just that when you're working on something you've been working on forever, you feel like you have to work really hard to "get it right", like it's a bigger deal. And I guess it is, but I feel like you just have to get yourself into a mindset where you're not "working", you're just expressing yourself with passion and fervor, unapologetically. As Mr. Green put it, you have to think of writing as "making gifts for people."**

As far as feeling like you're growing up- there's a reason Young Adult authors choose to write for young adults. I remember seeing an interview with Norma Howe (she wrote Blue Avenger, one of my favorites in middle school), and she said she writes for teenagers because she's always felt like a 15-year-old girl. So yeah, basically, don't worry about it. One of the great secrets of adulthood is that you feel the same as you always did, just probably less awkward.

One last thing- I know you don't need to hear this; I've said it a million times and everyone else has said it a million times, but it still somehow bears repeating: You are Good at Writing. Like, better than I'd say 99.7 percent of the world. It's incredible to find someone so funny/intelligent/introspective/...nerdy haha, who can also write prose with that kind of rhythm and not-awkwardness. So if you do end up publishing stuff, I can't even imagine how fun it'll be to read.***

*"Follow your bliss." -ThePeterIs (actually Joseph Campbell) :)
**If you haven't read "Seymour: An Introduction", I'd reccomend it. There's a great bit in there about "writing your heart out" and shit, and Mr. Salinger was much more articulate than I'll ever be.
***That's the other thing: just have funnnnn, man. If you're orgasming at the fun-ness of the stories you're writing, you know you're making something readers will enjoy.

Corinne said...

Hey now, who's to say this "relatability" stuff you do so well won't stay with you into your adulthood? The way you express your feelings so clearly, so humanly, so... relatable-ly? is the reason you have such a dedicated following. People see little bits of themselves in your writing, so, in a sense, you aren't just talking about yourself, you're talking about a whole generation of people. ...I can't think of a good conclusion to what I'm saying, but maybe that's for you to make.
On another note, I've been reading your blog and watching your videos for a while now and I think you're fantastic. I'm senior in high school and I have found myself thinking and experiencing many of the same things you have. So thank you for being present in my journey, it's always reassuring to know other people think the same way I do.

jenibo said...

Just the other day, I was thinking about how jealous I am of hayleyghoover. YOU are set, girl. Because of your talent to relate to teens and girls of all ages, you've become a successful YouTube celebrity. (Yes! A celebrity!) You, my dear, already have a loyal fanbase. No matter what you do, no matter what you write, anything that comes from the great hayleyghoover is already gold to so many people. I envy you for that, really. I've wanted to be a YA author long before my first Sarah Dessen novel. I dreamed about it--literal wake-up-crying-because-I-wish-it-were-true-SO-BAD dreams, but I knew that getting there, to a place where people noticed me, read and LIKED my work, would be a long gruesome journey that would probably involve selling-out, a little, but hopefully not in the Gossip Girl or Summer Boys kind of way.

YOU, Hayley, you're already there. Just slap a price tag on it.

Niki. said...

I also throw around "I don't know" all the time... I tend to avoid personal questions (or any question, for that matter) due to that inevitable answer.

Therefore, I don't know, either.

However, I do know, as many others are saying, that you are wonderful and your relatability is definitely a talent. Your blogs and videos constantly improve my day. I don't think that talent will just fade away with age. And I would buy any book you wrote, anytime.

Anyway, I know it's easier said than done, but the best thing to do for now is probably to just... try not to worry about it. Keep doing what you're doing and maybe it will just sort of... work itself out, somehow.

Thanks for your blog posts. I love reading them. =]

smorasnki77 said...

I don't know how to put this without soundy creepy, but in all honesty you are such an inspiration. When you say that you think that you may end up alone with an unread story it breaks my heart because I know that potential like yours should never be wasted. As a teenager, hearing someone like you who is older than I am talk about things that other people wouldn't dare talk about makes me happy and makes me remember that there are truly good people in this world. I am a sophomore in high school and at this time colleges are pilling on the emails and letters to get me to consider places to go, but when I look on websites to see what potential majors I could have, most of the time I am dissappointed and pushed back from my dream of
doing something that truly makes me happy, but my parents and society are telling me that I need a good paying and dependable job in life, making me confused in what I truly want to do. When I read your blog posts they show me the real life experiences that you go through in your day to day life that mostly encourage me to make a change in the way society tells us what is right. Not only do I see a massive amount of hope in your life but also I am glad that you take the time to write about what is on your mind because I believe that it truly makes an impact in a lot of peoples lives including mine. Now I realize this is a really long comment and may come off as creepy but I missed your blogs and I am glad you are back and happy!
Thanks, Stefani

Kayte said...

Have you ever thought about motivational speaking to the adolescent? I hear it's quit fulfilling.

Anonymous said...

Hayley,

You are amazing. I'm only in 8th grade, but reading your blog brightens my day.

I love words... I love letting them consume me. But some words don't. No matter how hard I try to let them, they just won't let me get into them. When YOU write, though, I get lost in a sea of your words.

Nobody minds that you write about yourself sometimes. The way you write is in a way that everyone can understand.

WHEN you write a book and publish it (which you will) I will buy copies and copies of it...

Please never stop writing, even if it is about yourself, because your words are one of my favorite things.

swizzlersticks said...

I can't say much more that anyone else hasn't already said, but I've been a silent blog-reader of yours for some time now, and I have to say, reading your words genuinely brightens my day. I, like many of your other readers, I assume, follow your blog because I want to hear more about you.

In my psychology class we read a section on how being introspective is actually considered one of many natural intelligences a person can possess. Being able to understand and accurately portray yourself via words is one of the most important, respectable gifts someone can have. Be thankful for the innate talent and wit for which your fans adore you!

Also, please publish a novel soon! When you do, I'll be purchasing and reading it the first day of its release. Like everyone else has said, never stop writing. It's hard at times, but I know there are tons of people out there rooting for you and supporting you. I see a clear path in writing for you and I think you should follow it, no matter what it takes, because it's obvious you have a real, unyielding passion for the art of writing.

Hope you can figure it out soon. :)

Margaret said...

I think you're just thinking about this talent of yours the wrong way. You don't have to make a career out of it. In fact, I think a talent like the ability to express yourself and your feelings and thoughts contributes to way more than your job. That skill will help you in every part of your life. Maybe you don't think so because verbally you consider yourself less proficient. But girl, think of how many people don't know how to express themselves verbally, in writing, or even to themselves. You've got something that is really valuable.

Also, you're really pretty. So, you know. All the bases are covered.

James said...

You could join the cast of The Jersey Shore, where talking about yourself constantly is the socially acceptable thing to do.

:)

Molly said...

Hayley, even as you grow older (20, 21, 22...), you'll still have a huge audience that's growing older with you. You'll be able to relate to the people you're age, as well as teenagers (unless, of course, teenage life changes so much that it totally unravels all of the hard work you've put into your understanding-studies up until now). Basically, your window of being able to relate to people is ever-increasing.

shaylaluna said...

I feel like that right now, as well. I will graduate from HS sooner than is even imaginable and I don't know what I want to do. Where I want to go. ehhhhhh. (This is the part of the comment where I wanted to come up with brillinat advice for both of us and failed.)

Olivia said...

Careers involving talking about yourself? Famous actors or talk show host. All those people do is talk about themselves. I mean, the actors are asked by interviewers, but still.

You're a brilliant writer, Hayley. You'll make it happen. I have immense faith in you. It might not be easy, or work out perfectly right away, but you can do it. It's good that you're concerned, I think. It means you recognize you will have to work. And that makes you much more likely to succeed than most people out there.

As someone much wiser than me said, "Follow what moves you and move with it."

Unrelated story: So this morning I'm sitting in church, and the "italktosnakes THROWDOWN" song randomly pops in my head. It hasn't left yet.

alyson said...

Honestly, it's not like everything changes once you hit 20. Your lifelong goal of writing doesn't suddenly become just an unreliable fantasy on your 20th birthday. 20 is still extremely young and you're only a freshman so you still have a lot of time to think about what you're going to settle on. Not to mention a lot of people (especially English majors) end up doing something that doesn't have to do with writing a novel (or even something in an English field). There's more to an english major. You've got some time to think about it and everything will play out.

Holly said...

Okay, so we've all established that you're a brillinat writer, and that you love it.
Remember that you're still in your first year at college and so much can change before you're finally thrown out into the business world.
What you have, that I'm perhaps most jealous of, is contacts. You're on skype-ing terms with JOHN GREEN!!! You've got a huge following online, which is basically where the future of writing lies (somewhat sadly). Through Youtube, you've gotten to know so many people that can help you, advise you, promote you, and it's this that us commoners would die for.

Emily said...

I have NO INPUT for you, because I'm going to be twenty in two months, I feel nothing like a real adult, and I'm majoring in something I can't use if I stay where I am. I'm a film major, and a theatre minor, and I live in Florida. It kind of scares the crap out of me that I'm studying something that I'll either have to move across the country (or two a different one) to be able to use properly, or will just be completely not useful. At all. So I mostly try not to think about it, hah. I'm in that Spaghetti-o boat, too.

Emily said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

autobiography that shit. just do something interesting first.

herfordship said...

Nothing wrong with working at Barnes and Noble :) because that's where...um...I...work. BUT if you work there for five years you get a PIN! and then another PIN after five MORE...and another...and another...!!!

I really would be super happy if I never made it to that five-year pin milestone. 3 years of grad school to complete and I'm totally outta there, but then I would qualify for a pin...hmmm

Still, do what you love and nothing else really matters, right? You'll figure it all out. Hopefully we all will some day.

Brianna said...

If it means anything to you, reading your blog has helped expand my vocabulary. Almost every time I read your blog there's a word I look up to either learn what it means or remind myself. Then I try to use it in real life.

So thanks for that. :)

Nicole said...

Hayley, you have so much talent and so far it is taking you to a great place in life and your only 19 years old! How often does that happen? Not all that often and your talent has gotten you this far, you'll be okay just keep up the great work and keep your chin up kid 'cause we all love you.

<3

Nokorola said...

Our Hayley is growing up.

Hayley, on the topic of your future, you can always just become WhatTheBuck.

But srsly (I've always wondered why people abbreviate the word seriously, it seems to be non-conducive to the act of seriousness) ...wait, what was I going to say?

Have a good day Hayley, and don't talk about yourself too much.

Kathleen R. Hirtz said...

I, too, an an English major. Today is my birthday and I'm 20.

All I can say is: I hear ya. I'm totally in the same boat. Rather coincidentally, I've spent my entire morning in my university's Career and Academic Planning Center trying to determine what to do with my life. Solution? Change major to PR. Keep English as a minor. Declare second minor in Creative Writing. Follow path to become a editor at a publishing house.

Hang in there and keep writing. You're amazing and inspirational.

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Kelley said...

Hayley, I know exactly what you're going through. I did the same thing when I turned 20. I was panicing for months. The thing is, life as an adult isn't nearly as terrifying as it may seem. I'm an English major also, and to tell you the truth, most businesses will respect your degree because of your ability to write well. I know that working a 9-5 is not your ultimate goal, but it should give you some comfort to know that you won't have to be a starving artist if you don't wish to be. As far as your relatability goes, please don't worry. I read your blog and watch your videos religiously and they always ring with a genuinness that won't go away simply because you're getting older. Keep doing what your doing. All of us will be behind you, supporting you and cheering you on. Chin up, Hayley. :)

Anonymous said...

This has been on my mind for some time..... It does lead to other issues...
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Jeff said...

Don't let your quarter life crisis get you too down... I guarantee your best years are ahead of you.

As for marketing your skills... you are naturally likable and intelligent so everything else will be gravy or in your case Chipolte (what is up with you middle Americans and your love for that place?... it's good, don't get me wrong, but some of you are borderlined obcessed).

Jordiekins said...

LET'S SING CHRISTMAS CAROLS!

Jingle bells, jingle bells,
Jingle all the way,
Oh, what fun it is to ride,
In a one horse open sleigh,
HEY!
Jingle bells, jingle bells,
Jingle all the way,
Oh, what fun it is to ride,
In a one horse open sleigh...

*doesn't have good advice*

Jordiekins said...

AND THEN I SANG A THANKSGIVING SONG.

Ugh, fml.

Angela said...

I juuuust wanted to say that I absolutely love reading your blogs. I've read all kinds of literature and analyzed it and all that fun jazz but to me your writing is the best I've ever read. The way you write and express your awesome personality is so cool and refreshing.

All I know is that you should always write. Not like, 24/7 nonstop... but writing is certainly your strength/talent and I'm sure there will be tons of people who would love to have you write for them.

I wish you could go on Disney cruises or something and get paid to write about your experience.

I think there are jobs like that...

FOOD CRITIC!!! Sorry, haha. I don't know why such an emotion came over me when I thought of that.

You can always pay the bills with all the large luxurious amounts of money you get from your Youtube partnership :P(sike)

Anyway, keep doin' your thang!

Anonymous said...

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I don't think anyone really ever figures it out.
They just do the best they can one day at a time.
Smile!

musicdork said...

i would have to say that this feeling doesn't change with age. I am about to turn 24, just graduated college and at that strange point in your life where you have everything open but don't know where to go.

You have what it takes to be an author, or whatever you want to be. There is room for people like you. And you just have to find it, which i promise you is the hard part.

I wish you luck and hope that turning 20 brings you a new outlook on life.

Laura said...

Hayley, don't worry about your youth. Look at Shawn Spencer in Psych. He's still a kid at heart. Kenneth the Page is still pretty childlike, too. lol. You'll be a fantastic writer, and I know that when you get published, I'll be one of the first of many to purchase your novel.

Madeline said...

Hi Hayley, fellow freaking-out-20-year-old here. I want to write and I want to dance. Neither of those are guaranteed career paths. My actual major is Spanish, and while that could probably get me some kind of great corporate/PR job, I'm really tired of Spanish at this point. I like speaking it for myself (namely, so I can travel or talk to friends whom I've met while traveling), but I am so tired of using it for things for which other people tell me to use it. My minors are theater and dance, and my school frankly has a pretty mediocre dance program. At this point I'm thinking about going to grad school for creative writing, even though I've only taken one real English course in 2 3/4 years of college.

So you see, we're all still trying to figure ourselves out. Saying that doesn't make me anymore comfortable with all the unknowns, but at least we're struggling with the same thing...

:) (?)

Dinah said...

Aw muffin!

I second the idea that many people have suggested-- try your hand at memoir-style books. I find that I love reading them (Sedaris, Burroughs, Gilbert etc.) and it would probably be not unlike a lot of your blogging!

I don't really know anything about the publishing world, or how well memoirs sell, but I know that I love all three of those authors and I would gladly support any kind of writing you do aswell.

Also, as futile as this seems, try not to worry too much. We're all here for you!

inkstainedpages said...

I just wanted to let you know that I had Chipotle for the first (and second :)) time this weekend. Your book and food suggestions are never a disappointment. Thanks <3

ginger jones said...

The whole 'turning twenty' thing drives me insane! The whole distinguishing a man from a boy/girl from a woman then when you like a guy...oh boy. Not going there.I started reading Sloppy Firsts and THANK YOU FOR RECCOMENDING IT! IT IS AMAZING!

Nell said...

I'm awfully good at talking about myself as well. I don't think it's that unusual a talent to have. After all, I know more about me than about any other subject, and the same goes for other people. Only I know what goes on in my head, so naturally, I can express it better than other ideas.
p.s. Your Friendly Neighborhood Spiderman... so good... back when superheroes were friendly instead of badass...

Anonymous said...

Completely not about your blog post but Ohio beat Georgetown (I assume you are not in a bunker somewhere and are aware of this) and I was wondering how much you care and how big a deal it is at your school.

Anonymous said...

Hello. And Bye.

heyashleyp said...

Your issues are exactly why I'm trying to fight becoming an English major. I really don't want to have to be an English teacher or resort to just calling myself an author and having to rely purely on the idea that I'm going to get an awesome idea that will be able to provide for my life and my family. There's really nothing reliable to really choose, so I feel your pain. I also understand the scary realities of growing older because in 5 months I'll be 19, which means I'll have been an "adult" for a year, which is scary for me. BUT, on the other hand, when I read books by authors like J.K. Rowling and Meg Cabot who are so obviously are adults, but yet find ways to grasp the teenage mind, it gives me hope. So, I hope you find your hope soon, too. I don't think you'll ever lose your ability to relate to the teens as long as you keep being spunky, and keep being Hayley. You can do anything! You're awesome!

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Driscoll said...

You are an extremely genuine person. You put your self out there in a very pleasant way. By that I mean, you're not forcing all that you think on your blog readers. You're just getting your thoughts out in the open. I truly enjoy hearing what uou have to say.

BenCracknell said...

Such a random comment, but I've been wonderin for months how you make a mug of tea? I saw that you put honey in it? I'm kind of confused because, being English, I just go for the milk and sugar, but yours sounded so much nicer.
Can you please include a recipe in your next blog, please?
Thank you! xx

Madhu said...

I very much enjoyed the Spiderman cartoon theme song :)

I always think about writing stories of my life. (Like a diary with the entries strung together in a some-what cohesive manner) But I stop myself, knowing that I can never objectively write about my life, and I'll become partial if I write subjectively.

I don't remember where I was going with this...oh well. You're amazing and keep spewing your thoughts over this webpage, because I'll keep reading.

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