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Monday, July 11, 2011

Two Months Later

It's been two months and I realize this. I also realize that everything I say in this paragraph will be skimmed over, your eyes mid-roll, because this is far from my first apology and will certainly not be my last. Still, I feel obligated to say IT'SNOTYOUIT'SME and to extend my arms. If you want to accept my hug, it's all yours. If you want to pelt me with small objects instead, that's cool too. I get it, I'm sorry, I love you, baby, let's never fight again.

So where did we leave off? I moved out of school in mid-June and was immediately congratulated for a term well-done... with oral surgery. No matter how much I protested, my wisdom teeth were begging to gtfo. It wasn't a horrendous experience pain-wise, but my tiny mouth decided to punish me* by swelling out like a basketball and preventing my jaw from opening fully. I spent a week and a half on an undesired juice fast, unable to part my teeth more than a centimeter. Sigh. #whitegirlproblems

But just as every gay-friendly celebrity will tell you, it gets better. My cheeks shrunk back to their normal size, my fatassery picked back up where it left off, and I've had some very fun post-recovery days. The Situation came over for the week leading up to his current tour, and we went for walks, made completely inane internet projects solely for our own amusement, and visited the Cleveland zoo. I even got to drag him to my extended family's annual Fourth of July party where the main topics of conversation ranged from how friggin' pregnant my sister and brother-in-law are getting**, to how much abuse my brother takes from the little cousins, to cupcakes. Party in the USA.

I also spent the 4th and its surrounding weekend with The Situation's tourmates (friends of mine, as well), Alex Carpenter, Jason Munday, Christian Caldeira and his girlfriend, Kelly. I put aside my strong aversion to pokey objects in the vicinity of my eyes just long enough to play with sparklers, and to the great amusement of my boyfriend, managed to paint the fingernails of a sleeping Jason. Oh, youth.

I'd like to lie and tell you that more has happened since we last spoke, but unless you want to hear long, detailed descriptions of... watching Nancy Grace cover the Casey Anthony trial... with my mother... every single night... I've got nothing. So far, the summer has been devoted entirely to nursing my sore mouth, screaming things like "HOW CAN THEY IGNORE THE TRACES OF CHLOROFORM?!" at Anderson Cooper's dreamy eyes, and working on this godforsaken novel of mine. The current goal is to have a solid, decent draft by the time my sister passes a human child through her legs. I'm racing a baby. A Book Before the Birth. I was going to come up with another quirky way of phrasing that, but besides realizing that "librarian" rhymes with "cesarean," I'm fresh out of ideas. Shut up. It's late.

Anyway, I leave tomorrow evening for LeakyCon, where I'll hopefully meet a whole slew of you. If we do cross paths, be prepared to high-five a stranger, because you really don't have a choice in the matter. If we don't get to chill in person this week, however, try not to be too bummed-- I've had to stay home while all my friends attended Potter conferences in the past, and it majorly sucks, but you're still freaking top-notch in my book. Here, have a high-five in typographic form: ^5.*** You guys all kick ass. And now I sleep. Goodnight!


Chipotle burritos this year: um... 13?
Subscribers: 52,245
Nail color: a pale pink OPI
Miles run today: 1

*As if I'm not already punished enough as it is-- damn you, Angelina Jolie, for making full lips a beauty requirement.
**He's showing less than she is, though.
***Sorry, Karen Kavett-- I can't say I'm positive what the word "typographic" actually means.

49 comments:

Anonymous said...

Youre going to leakycon? Yay! :)

Although its kind of awkward to meet strangers that you stalk on the internet...

Jen said...

I wish I could go to Leakycon. I've never been to any gathering, and I don't know how much longer they'll run.

Anna said...

I wasn't THAT depressed that I couldn't go to LeakyCon...then I found out that Evanna Lynch was going. And proceeded to want to cry.

Also, it's pretty awesome that you ran into a deer out on a walk -- were you out somewhere in like, actual nature, or still in suburbia?

thatothergrace said...

I so wish I could go to leakycon! I never get to go to gatherings. :(

Caity Grace said...

I don't get to go. :/ have fun for me! ^5 ****

anna said...

I'm another non-LeakyCon-goer but that's alright. I'm working now so as to save my money for various other trips during the school year, like Disneyland and camping in southern Utah. That stuff is almost as cool . . . right?

And though you don't talk about your novel THAT often, we hear about it enough to eventually get to read it, yes? If not, I'll just have to come visit you in Ohio and politely ask to read a draft. (Read: steal your computer)

Kaitlyn said...

I'd just like to let you know I'm currently listening to you playing recorder to Hey Molly and crying from laughter.
Anyways, getting my wisdom teeth out was a bitch, I'm sorry you had to go through it, too.
I really hope I get to see you at Leakycon. Mainly so I can creepily consider giving you a hug because you are like, my freaking hero, but then chicken out and just give you a high five after awkwardly mumbling to the ground like a psycho how much I love you and your blog and your videos.

nerdygwen said...

That sucks about getting your wisdom teeth pulled. I had 4 of my teeth pulled last year and was forced to take my passport picture the next day. My cheek was SO swollen in the picture!
Can't wait to see you at LeakyCon!

Maya said...

hahah i laughed so hard at your flirtations album. I really wish i could go to leaky con :( but have fun. i can't believe it's going to be over... kind of. thanks for blogging hayley, i've missed your blogs!

Nicci Weasley said...

Haley, I really really hope I get to meet you at LeakyCon!!
If you see a short bespectacled Weasley-looking girl running towards you, yelling and waving her arms around... Don't be alarmed. It's just me :-D

Anonymous said...

I happily accept your hug, Hayley :)
I even paused The Illusionist to come read it- and that's saying something (I love The Illusionist. A. Lot.)
So feel loved!

Anonymous said...

I happily accept your hug, Hayley :)
I even paused The Illusionist to come read it- and that's saying something (I love The Illusionist. A. Lot.)
So feel loved!

Jaine said...

Yay! I can't wait to meet you at leaky. I'll be the really awkward one among a sea of awkward people. :P Oh and seriously, your giving out high fives not hugs!

Redsetting said...

Hayley, I just want Apple to make a text-to-speech voice of HayleyGHoover - The Missing Voice. Do you think that too much to ask of the Universe?

Bryce said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Bryce said...

So worth the wait. Flirtations in the Key of Life is the most refreshing piece of art I've had the pleasure of experiencing in years. ^5

Marie said...

I'm actually *in* Orlando, going to the wizarding world today...but *not* going to LeakyCon. It's a strange form of torture, being so close yet so far away, and I've managed not to break down into tears, but eventually...*le sigh*

So I'd love to high-five you, but 'tis not to be.

Anywho, I'm glad you've had some fun (besides your oral issues).

Karin said...

Welcome back!! Will not be going to Leaky, Sweden is a little too far away for my budget, however, the fact that the premiere is in twelve hours here almost makes up for it. Yayyyy for living in Scandinavia where we for no apparent reason get the film two days earlier :D:D Hope the rest of your summer is enjoyable!

Johnny Rollerfeet said...

Re: Flirtations in the Key of Life

I recently found a casette tape of my wife's piano recitals from age 8 through 16. Our car has a tape player (yeah, wtf?) and I drive around listening to everything from piano 101 songs to Memories (from Cats)...as interpreted by my wife 20+ years ago.

The best part is you can ACTUALLY HEAR when a key change is coming in a song. There is a long pause mid-song while you can see in your mind's eye little Becky looking down from her music to the keyboard to reset her hands. It brings me great joy, much like your cover of Hey Molly.

Thanks!

Alexis said...

Why didn't you tell us you were working on an album?!? I've never experienced such an odd mix of hilarity and pain.

Emma said...

Ooh you went to the Cleveland zoo? I almost went last week! But then I couldn't. I really want to see the elephant exhibit.

Ellen said...

Sitting at home while all of my other Harry Potter friends go to LeakyCon is the exact boat I'm in right now. It's going to make the midnight premier much less exciting. None of the people I'm going with will even dress up with me!

However, my best friend did promise to annoy the beans out of everyone down there so that I get some autographs too.

Anonymous said...

YEEEEE I GET SO EXCITED WHEN YOU FINALLY COME BACK<3

Anonymous said...

I was in stitches over your Hey Molly cover. Best rendition in my opinion.

Emma said...

Flirtations in the Key of Life made the two month wait totally worth it.

Allison said...

LOVING your cover of Hey Molly. Beautiful.

Emily said...

Being the same age as you, I find that sometimes our lives line up in odd ways.

1) We took the SAT in high school on the same day, using the same study book.

2)After finishing my sophomore year a few months ago, I also was forced to have my wisdom teeth removed. But I did not mind eating instant mashed potatoes every day for a week.

3) I went up to visit my boyfriend in Ohio soon after my surgery. We went to the Cleveland Zoo. But he did not let us stop at Grandpa's Cheese Barn.

maggiehanna said...

*sigh* I wish I was going to LeakyCon. :-/ Oh well.

Have fun there Hayley!

Carrie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Carrie said...

Yay a Hayley blog post!!! So glad to see it! I am going to my very first Harry Potter Midnight premiere (because I wasn't allowed in the past) tomorrow and will be thinking of you and other HP FAN youtubers!! :)

Victoria said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Victoria said...

She's alive! She's alive and I won't get to see her aliveness, because NO LEAKYCON FOR YOU, GLEN COCO (I'm the non-going Glen Coco in this scenario). I'll try not to be too bummed and hope everyone is having major funsies. Without me.

usernamessuckfully said...

I have a lovehate relationship with this blog on one I go oh hayley's back then I think oh right she finally decided to write something and que the eye roll have fun at leakycon.

Leesa said...

You don't need to appologize for not writing. If you don't write, it is fine. I will just read you when you choose to write.

alimarie_11 said...

The cover of Hey Molly was, by far, my favorite.

Emily Suess said...

Hi. I'm new here, and I don't really believe in lurking. So I'm going to dive right in with my two cents.

I would just like to say that while your burrito fascination concerns me a little, I love your writing.

Megan Sanchez said...

I finally have a job with dental insurance and I'm about to get my wisdom teeth out. Everyone tells me it doesn't hurt, the recovery is no big deal. IDK, but basketball mouth sounds like a big deal. I'm glad your ordeal is over.

tranquilily said...

Slightly amusing story for your entertainment:

I'm on a study abroad right now so I haven't checked your blog in a while or watched any youtube videos, then I had a dream. Apparently you lived in the neighborhood next to mine in this dream, yet we had never met, but I ran into you walking home from the store. Then we hung out at my house for like, a whole minute but you had to leave because your parking meter was up and my family was going out to dinner. I don't know how your car got there or why there were parking meters at all, but so it was. So when I woke up I thought, 'I should check Hayley's blog' and I typed in the address and it wasn't there, and I thought you had deleted it and I was so sad, then I realized I typed 'hooer' instead of 'hoover'.

So after all that I was glad there was an update! I'm so jealous of everyone who went to LeakyCon or even got to see HP7.2 yet, because I haven't :(

Jacqueline said...

I got my wisdom teeth out this summer too. Not fun! What's even less fun is that it's been a month and a half and it JUST got infected. Guess who can only eat soft foods again?
I've never felt so empty.

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