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Monday, October 18, 2010

A Note on Body Image

My name is Hayley Hoover, and my body is freaking awesome.

I've been doing this for almost five years. By now, my skin is thick enough that rude, ignorant youtube comments pretty much explode on impact when they hit my rock-hard self-esteem of steel. It doesn't even begin to sting anymore when I read something like "ur fat," because I know for a fact that I am not. And even if I were, I've reached a level of confidence at this point in my life that I no longer feel the desire to match anyone else's standards. My clothes fit comfortably, I can hike up a hill without losing my breath, my skin sits taut and smooth over my muscles, and I feel good. Sure, there are days when I catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror and cringe a little bit, but that's because I'm a girl and we have self-doubt wired into our brains at birth already, without any contributions from stupid boys who have probably never been within a foot of a boob. What I mean to say is, if you want to hurt my feelings, tell me I'm a bad writer, or an incurably mean person, or say something cruel to somebody I love. But if your goal is to bring me down, don't even bother with "Failed boob to body ratio." My body is hot, my brain is hotter, and my shape has zero effect on who I am as a person.

I had a friend in middle school who wore nothing but big sweatshirts every single day, because she was built like a Playboy bunny and had a movie star face, and boys would tease her by assuming she was promiscuous. She was beautiful, but if she wore anything remotely form-fitting, she was tortured as much as the girls with acne or extra pounds. If even the girls our society deems perfect can't escape ridicule from idiots, why should you allow rude remarks to get in your way?

My mother always tells me that some boy on the schoolbus once called her hairy, and somehow that one little comment stuck with her for years... so long that, in high school, when that same guy asked her out, she took heaps of pleasure in declining his offer. You don't know her, but my mom is smokin'. And part of what makes her so gorgeous is the fact that she understands how little it matters to be perfect-looking, and the fact that, while she's out being this stunning role-model, that kid from the schoolbus is probably raising more little jerk boys who will never be as awesome as she is.

Girls, I know you've heard it said before, but listen. I'm not a model. I'm not old and wise. I'm just a healthy, happy twenty-year-old girl who spends too much time on the internet, and I have no reason to lie to you. You kick ass. You're awesome. You don't have a perfect body, but thank God, because life sucks just as much for people who do. There are parts of you that are majorly pretty, and it's up to you to decide who deserves to comment on them. If someone makes you feel ugly, forget them. Criticism like "ugly" happens even to the people you think are beautiful, so it can't be all that valid. If someone makes you feel uncomfortable, deal with it or ignore them. You are hot, but you are also a hell of a lot more than that.

I'm not writing this blog post just to brag about my level of comfort with my self-image, because I was thirteen once, and there are few things less inspiring than hearing how happy everyone else is when you despise the way you look. I also don't want to be Tyra Banks and scream and cry and preach all day, because it's not exactly reassuring to watch a millionaire model talk about how hard it is to be a size six. What I do hope I can accomplish, though, is to tell each and every girl out there who reads this that guys who make comments on your appearance are complete and utter morons. You are not worthless for having cellulite; the comments of those who mention it are what's worthless.



Chipotle burritos this year: 29
Subscribers: 35,857
Nail color: Plain, for once. Riding this whole "I'm natural and beautiful" wave as long as possible. Also lazy.

126 comments:

Zoe K. said...

Today on the bus some boy told me that I was fat and what did I do, sit at home all day eating potato chips on the couch? I kindly told him that no, I'm not fat. In fact, I'm really pretty. I also swim 6 days a week for 2+ hours. I'm in shape. I have bad asthma. When that guy saw me fail at running the mile in gym, I just wanted to say to him that I have lungs that fail me, and I am a swimmer, not a runner.

Hayley, you made my day and I think you are pretty and nice and smart. My big sister is a stick, an emotional wreck and just dyed her hair platinum blonde because a boy broke up with her. Her last breakup resulted in a tattoo. I'd much rather have you as a big sister figure than her. <3

Sam M said...

thanks for this, hayley :D i was kinda down about this kinda thing today...<3

Sam M said...

thanks for this, hayley :D i was kinda down about this kinda thing today...<3

Paloma said...

"My mother always tells me that some boy on the schoolbus once called her hairy, and somehow that one little comment stuck with her for years... so long that, in high school, when that same guy asked her out, she took heaps of pleasure in declining his offer."

When I was in third grade a boy called me fat. Next year he started looking at me more than he used to, trying to get my attention, catch my hand.

I was joyful when I turned my back to him and walked away.

I know you probably hear this a lot. But you are wonderful. And consider as a fact that you have a loyal fan from Mexico <3

Kendall said...

You're a great person, Hayley. Thank you for this :).

Amanda McLoughlin said...

Thank you for this, Hayley. I thought I had a hard time surviving school, but I'm even more nervous for my sister as she enters middle school this year. Life for teenage girls is getting harder, so reminders like these are so welcome. Much love <3

Sarah said...

Hayley this was awesome :) I am in my mid-20s and generally happy about my size and who I am. It sucks though when one of your best friends (with a tiny waste and massive boobs) says "you don't understand, it is really hard being hot"

I literally wanted to punch her

<3 Much love

Kathriller said...

Hayley,

You aren't just right about this, but you expressed it so beautifully. As a writer and a rhetor, I appreciate that you use your gift to say things that matter. As an eighteen year old who is getting there in the self-esteem department, I look up to you a lot

-Katie

Bethany said...

You Hayley, are amazing.

Caitlin said...

GO HAYLEY!
You're fabulous, and I'm so happy that you know it and won't let anyone change your mind! :)

Rosianna said...

Thank you from the girl who spent an hour trying on clothes in Forever 21 today and left with nothing but a streaky face and feeling entirely inadequate. You really are just wonderful, as is your writing. You have an anti-youtube-idiot shell as strong as a Ninja Turtle and it looks beautiful.

allie said...

really inspiring post!
rock on

Megan said...

Hayley, I love you for this. This is the kind of thing that's shoved down a girl's throat every day by magazines etc that accompany the message with images of the 'perfect' girls - what way is that to raise someone's self-esteem? I'm not saying you're not gorgeous, because you are, but you are also real and relatable and that is what will make this sink in with readers where it would have bounced off coming from another source. Thank you :D

Ben said...

I am a boy so I feel kind of out of place here but I have been harassed a bit throughout my schooling on some trait of my appearance; the fact that I actually am overweight and that my Polish and Italian and French heritage contribute to how much hair I have. But, when I read something like this, it tells me that petty comments on my appearance will never matter in the long run. We don't know each other Hayley, but sometimes I feel like your'e one of my close friends and we're in a one-way conversation. Thank you for being there for me when I need you.

Christina said...

i like this blog post, and it is worth pointing out/watching out for... it isn't just mean boys that bring us down... girls can be worse (and i actually suspect it was a girl that wrote that initial negative comment on your video today that probably inspired this blog).

bottom line: girls, we've got it hard enough to deal with our own self doubt despite our high self esteem levels to be tearing each other down.

Anonymous said...

This couldn't come at a better time as I start the swimming unit in P.E. tomorrow. Eek. While it's great that this is all "girl power", girls are sometimes ruder and even more malicious than the boys. :( Hopefully this will not only encourage girls to support themselves, but also support others.

Kai said...

you make me happy, when skies are grayyyy :)
This totally made my day!

delightfully mediocre said...

Hayley, you are obviously beautiful inside and out. As someone who took a long time to get comfortable with myself, I hope this resonates with anyone struggling right now!

Listen to her! She's right! You are gorgeous! :)

Christina said...

Hayley, you are wonderful. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Sue said...

I always find that the stupid comments, that should never bother me, are the ones that irritate me.

Its things like comments that led to me being so reserved I never discovered 'me' untill I was 23. Mostly because I was to scared that everyone would attack me the way I was attacked at school. But I finally got the guts to do things, and my life is so much better because of it

tiannaweasley said...

Reason #643890634 why I have undying respect for you. <33

Nikki said...

I think we all need reminders like this sometimes. No matter how comfortable or uncomfortable we are with ourselves, everyone has those moments where they hate how they look. Sometimes we just need someone to tell us we're beautiful when we think the opposite is true. I know I struggle with this a lot, despite being comfortable with my body (for the most part).

Also, Hayley, I watch your videos and admire how confident and comfortable you seem with yourself. You're freaking lovely already, but having that confidence makes you that much lovelier. As do posts like this. =)

Tanna said...

This post literally made me tear up. As much as it sucks knowing that we live in a world where people think it's ok to do and say the things they do to tear women's confidence down, the fact that there are people in the world like who take public stands for this issue definitely helps to counteract that. So thank you. You are truly made of awesome.

Hailey Dixon said...

Hayley, I knew you were a role model from the first time I heard of you.
<3

PS Just know that you have a hotter boyfriend than they'll ever have girlfriends.

Melody said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
izzy brown said...

this has considerably brightened up my day. im a freshman this year, and hearing people say these kind of things to me(though it doesnt happen a lot) and each other sucks. So thank you hayley, for being so awesome.
Izzy

ps- i was about to do my global reading that i have to do by tomorrow, but then i saw you blogged and my homework became unimportant.

Iz said...

Hayley, you are awesome. Thanks for this. :) The way you write and express yourself is really beautiful, and you really exemplified that in this blog post. It was focused on a hard topic to discuss with young readers, and you did it with grace and dignity, as well as encouraging young girls to be themselves and to not worry about such things. I've worried quite a bit about these things, even though I have nothing to worry about, because I am perfectly healthy, and this blog helped me to learn to concentrate on other things. :)

Michelle said...

Lovely comment Hayley!
You should convert it to a WeStopHate video, check 'em out :)
http://www.youtube.com/WeStopHate

gryffindork311 said...

acne and greasy hair are not the only things my head has to offer. i have a brain in there too, and i like to believe that i know how to use it.

Alexi said...

I was that girl who wore a big sweater to school, not because I curvy, but because of the curves I lacked. My entire life I've been skinny to the point where girls called me annorexic. That hurt more than what boys had to say. Some people said I was beautiful and that I should model because of my height, but it really sucks when you have no control over the way you look. No matter how much I eat I can never have boobs or even a butt, not even after exersizing. It's all about accepting what you have. I admire you for that Hayley. You have what you have and you become more beautiful with every word you speak.

Luna said...

HAYLEY,

I have beyond hairy arms... It's unruly and dark against my skin color, and I have always been so self conscious about it. I used to wear long sleeved shirts when it was really warm outside and plot ways to go to Walgreens and get Smooth Away. But pretty soon I realized that I, personally, didn't mind the hair! It was the other people and their comments that made me feel self conscious about it. I kept telling myself that, and I've been taking steps to make myself feel more comfortable. This post helped A LOT. I hope you know how much of an impact you have on your blog readers.

Pip said...

Hayley, thanks for writing this blog. I can't say I've reached your level of confidence in my body image but I'm working on it. Your blog today was a needed reminder that (heads up I'm about to quote Eleanor Roosevelt) "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

jenibo said...

Inspirational and amazing, as always. You drive me crazy, Hayley. In all the good ways.

Elana said...

This post made me smile. Thanks for being so awesome, Hayley.

Maggie said...

Hayley, this post is super awesome, and so many other people have already shared such kind words and expressed their gratitude. I feel the same thankfulness, but you neglected to address the fact that girls, too, can be terrible to one another with regards to their appearances. Personally, I've dealt with far more critical, mean ladies than men. Whether their reasons for cruelty are sadistic or a reflection of their own insecurities, girls can be vicious.

In the same way, guys can be downright terrible to one another in the locker room. I've had so many male friends who have been bullied because of their weight, height, etc. People are just mean. Kids are mean. It can be difficult to keep in mind that beauty comes from the soul, but that's the truth.

Again, thank you for your insight on this personal subject!

Lauren said...

One thing I've always loved about this blog is the comment section. I always make a point to go through a few, because I really feel connected to all the other people here that are sharing your words. I can't tell you how happy I am with the things I just read, and I know it sounds weird to say I'm proud of you for this, because I am, in fact, younger than you, and have much less experience, but...I am.

Molly said...

I think that the fact that I started tearing up reading your comments about how you continue to influence people says something about who you are. I'm really glad you posted this, to say the least. I never really thought of myself as lacking confidence or hating my self image constantly, but there are flaws and I'm absolutely enthused that there is one human being out there who knows how I feel - we all have our days of ugly, but only in our own eyes.

You're pretty freaking awesome.

Anonymous said...

Thank you. This makes a huge difference. I feel like you are an angel. I wish I was happy with myself like you are <3

nicole. said...

you are a beautiful pesron, hayley g. hoover. i am overweight but i love myself so much that it doesn't matter to me. i love me and nobody can take that away from me. thank you for this.

crunches said...

i love you and look up to you even though you're four years younger

A said...

Thanks, Hayley. I needed this today.

Jess said...

Hayley <333

I couldn't believe the "ur fat" type comments on your Supernote video! I was hoping that you were going to write a blog post about this; you are always so inspiring when you talk about serious topics.

As a thirteen year old girl, I just have to say, thank you, Ms. G Hoover. You are amazing <3

Cassie said...

I'm fat, but I'm still pretty in many ways. None of my clothing ever fits comfortable. That's seriously my motivation to lose weight in life. You are lovely and I can't stand Tyra Banks.

Kelly said...

Hayley, your brain is sexy and I love you for it.

Thanks for posting this. I've book marked it so that I can come back and reread it whenever someone leaves me a rude youtube comment.

You make me want to listen to the Spice Girls.

Alexis said...

Thank you for writing this. I'm like, seventeen now, but body image + self esteem have been the absolute biggest issues in my life since I was probably eleven. I've matured since then, thankfully, and realized more things are important, but it's still a struggle. I think it will be for a while.

Those sort of things haven't even crossed my mind today, because today was a good day; regardless, reading this made me feel better. About it all.

Thank you for being awesome. <3

Kacie Galyon said...

Thank you thank you THANK YOU for being so freaking awesome, Hayley. And thank you for reminding myself and everyone else of the realities we too often ignore.

anna said...

Dear Hayley, I love you. I mean, in the "I know you through the Internet and refer to you in every day conversation as one of my friends" kind of way.

I've luckily avoided such verbal comments throughout the years, sometimes I wonder how, but that doesn't mean I haven't received plenty of stares and gross glances over how I look at a certain time. And the thing is: I've always been okay with it. I'm in no way skinny and I know for a fact that I could lose weight, something that has been going pretty well, actually.

I often wonder how my brain got wired in such a way that I could just get over how I look, that I could change it if I want, that I wouldn't worry about what others said about me. It wasn't even until this year that I really wanted to change my appearance and it's been working out great. I have my bad days, that's for sure, but I figure the people that truly love me and will love me in the future all accept me at face value. If they didn't, would they really love me in the first place?

Olivia said...

If I hadn't loved you before, I would love you solely for this post.

Perfectly expressed and awesomeawesomeawesome.

Anonymous said...

im just happy you updated...
and yeah i feel like i am overweight--but i try to do things about it. not because other people say anything, but so i can be confident about myself. and be healthy

Lindy said...

Hayley I love you so much, my freaking gosh, and heck YES I am beautiful, even though last Saturday I knocked out my two front teeth, haha.

I've always been pretty self-conscious, and in fact, on Saturday I was going through one of those "oh my word look at that picture IS THAT ACTUALLY WHAT I LOOK LIKE?!" phases...and then I had an ATV accident. And..people are amazing. I never knew so many people cared so much about me. One guy (an extremely ATTRACTIVE guy at that) even went so far to say "You're better looking than I am, even without your front teeth" -- I mean, with guys like that around, who needs this fake, unattainable "pretty" that doesn't involve cellulite?

Your blog today just sealed the deal for me, and I refuse to spend any more time dwelling in self-pity over a flaw in my appearance, because like you were saying -- the people who love me think I'm beautiful. And anyone else's opinion doesn't fracking matter.

Suburban Sweetheart said...

You're a pretty darn good role model Hayley Hoover. Even - maybe especially! - for me.

storminmay said...

I've always been a waif. I've always been thin and tall, and that's just how I am. Unfortunately, I had a friend in high school who didn't seem like a bully at first; she wasn't the Regina George type of mean girl (quite the opposite, actually). She'd always make comments on what I ate. Like, if I didn't have much on my plate because I simply wasn't that hungry, she'd day "Oh wow, that's *all* you're gonna eat? You know, guys don't like skinny girls. I mean, there's skinny, but then there's *too* skinny. You should probably eat more." And when I felt like eating a lot, the comments were opposite. "Oh wow, you're nonna eat *all* of that, right? I hope nothing's wrong, are you okay?" She continually tried to make me think there was something wrong with me when there wasn't, and I have no idea why.

I have a metabolism people would kill for. I happened to nab the tall+thin gene from my dad's side. I'm not going to apologize for it or put up with people who think the way I look is a result of anything else.

I adore you for writing this blog, HGH. I cannot even begin to fathom your level of awesome right now. <3

Anna J. said...

You made my day with this post. Although, your posts always do:)

Elena D'Amico said...

Thank you, Hayley.
For this blog post and so many others. <3
DFTBA (not that you really need reminding)

infinityalwayss said...

i admire your honest and sincere nature, hayley.
the words you put down in your blog are the things people need to hear because you're right, every single person has a unique beauty no matter what.
like you, i have learned to be at peace with who i am but naturally it wasnt easy and it never will be. i always look at it from the perspective of, i get one chance and one body and so that is what i'm going to love.
but its difficult to remember that all the time which is why blog posts such as this are a lovely way to refresh that part of my brain that is constantly nagging and picking at the way i look.
so thank you for being my reminder today :)

p.s. a while back you mentioned that you started using the livestrong.com app and because of that i recently began tracking what i eat on the app on my iphone. i didn't start using it to lose weight but to track the nutrients i am taking in to make sure i am getting enough fiber, protein, etc. in my diet since that is something i have always struggled with. and i have to say, i feel so much better since ive started using livestrong, so thank you for the suggestion!

Anonymous said...

Hayley this is so wonderfully written. I really admire you and I hope to one day feel as confident as you.
I wish I felt this way when I was your age. I'm 21 and still struggling with my confidence. But with time, I know I'll find it.

Courtney said...

Thank you for this blog post. You're awesome and you definitely made lots of people's days by writing this.

Cat said...

This is unbelievably true.
The real issue is that the way people feel about you affects the way you feel about yourself.
I learned too late in life to surround myself with those people who value the best parts of me.
When you feel good about yourself, you can accomplish anything, and you KNOW you kick ass.
So, wear that shirt that makes you feel like a rock star and those jeans that you KNOW you look good in!
The most important thing is to surround yourself with the people who love you, and to LET them love you.

Christie said...

You were the first vlogger I loved, and you'll always be my favorite. I'm so glad that after all this time, you're still amazing and you still always say the perfect thing!

GillianisAslan said...

My father once told me that I needed to wear my pants much higher if I wanted to hide the bulge. My brother told me that I had birthing hips. My grandmother has many memorable quotes, including the last time I saw her, when she said, and I quote, "Gillian...over the years, you have gone from chubby to overweight to obese." She then patted my back and walked away. These stung. They stung a lot being from my own family. But you know what? I'm not fat. I have killer abs and biceps. Yeah, I have large hips, but it's just the way that I was made. I may be pear shaped, but that doesn't translate to fat and ugly. I just concentrate on the good things, like my clear skin and strong muscles and only-tan-never-burn skin. Run and tell that, homeboy.

Kiko said...

Hayley, thanks. I don't even know what else to say. Thank you. I will bookmark this and read it every time I feel bad about myself.

Anonymous said...

This reminded me of a couple weeks ago when "friends" of mine told me my appearance and interest in Harry Potter and the Internet basically repels people. They essentially said that everything about my personality repulses everyone, which is why I'm having a hard time making friends in college. It's not the same as body image, but it can be as damaging. I don't care what they think because I have other people in my life who appreciate me for the way I am, and I'm glad you don't let the haters get you down. I've always thought you were gorgeous and I'm glad you think that too. :)

Olivia said...

Hayley, I'm really bipolar about my body and some days I'll LOVE its genetic code, and other days I'll only see the bad things. I don't know if that's confidence or delusion, but this post definitely made me happy about myself. I needed that pick-me-up.

I'm definitely feeling more confident lately. For the first time in literally years, I believe people when they tell me I'm pretty.

YOU are amazing. And smokin' hot. And incredibly talented. Thanks for being so supportive of your fans.

Nicoley said...

This was awesome Hayley and a little bit of exactly what I needed and it could not have come from a better person. Thank you.

<3

Carlotta Jones said...

This is my favourite line:
"My body is hot, my brain is hotter, and my shape has zero effect on who I am as a person". Hayley, this was a great post and I'm happy to see how a person is able to find that inner-confidence after such adversity. I think every girl can relate, to experiencing low self-esteem and then growing to love the body they are born with.

Melody said...

I'm really proud of myself. I read through this blog post without crying. xD I think that must be a sign that I'm feeling a lot better about myself than I have in the past.

Hayley, thanks for being awesome.

Marie said...

Thank you, Hayley. This post made me both tear up and smile. I've been having trouble with my body image since middle school and I'm a freshman in college. I was never athletic- I've tried six different sports and just couldn't stick with any. I have asthma and yes, I'm out of shape. I'm overweight. And I know that when I walk in a room, the first thing people notice is my weight. I'm so afraid that no one will take me seriously because of it. I already went through hell in 8th grade, and I was actually pretty skinny back then. But it never went away, and as I gained more weight I just felt like I don't even matter. Like I shouldn't exist.

It's really, really been bothering me lately. But this made me smile and feel a little better about myself. I like to read, I like to write, and I'm kind of funny in a stupid way. According to my friends, I'm freaking adorable. And I like that.

So thanks again, Hayley. You're a beautiful person and I appreciate you.

Just, Ale said...

Hayley, you are beautiful inside and out; it shows in your writing.♥ Thank you for this post.

Aly said...

Besides the fact that everything you said is completely true, I just want to say I love the way you write just as much as I love the content you choose to write about. They're both so real and inspiring, so thank you!

Ravenclaw2313 said...

Thank you. I struggle with the way I look all the time. I needed this. =)

PinkPieLover18 said...

Hayley, you're amazing. This was really well-written. <3 It's awful that society creates this image on how girls should or should not look. They fail to realize that everyone doesn't look that way, and there's not just one way of being beautiful.

Dani said...

great timing. I really needed something like this today. I was feeling a little down and my self-esteem was getting affected. It was turning into an 'ugly day.' But then your well-written and thoughtful post showed up in my google reader to remind me what's important.
Love you and love your blog. Keep up the good work, you're a great role model.

Louise said...

Thank you so much for this post. I go to an all girls school and last year I constantly felt like everyone there was much skinnier and prettier, and I would never be the same. However after one of the best summers of my life, I realised that what you look like isn't that important, only what's inside. Thank you so much for this post, you're such a good role model, and I feel like you've helped me so much, whether you realise it or not, haha! :] xx

Izzah said...

Thanks, Hayley. This is awesome. You're awesome. :)

Zaphiie said...

Hayley, you're my idol. Seriously.

This was an awesome blog post - much needed by the majority of teenage girls today... I'm going to make sure that all my friends read this :) I'm completely happy with my body, but it's things like this blog and people like you that keep me that way ;D

Seriously, though. You are such an amazing person. I was reading through the comments just then, and it's clear that I'm not the only one who feels that way :) NFTBA!

Emily said...

Hayley, you are my hero. And that's kind of all I have to say. <3

Aileen said...

Oh Hayley, you are lovely!

M├Ęgan said...

Gosh! You never cease to amaze me! <3

Squirrelfish said...

I was always the chubby kid in primary school. I was called fat by this one guy for two years in highschool. We ended up being really good friends but my whole mindset was 'I'm not like normal girls. I'm enormous. I'm worthless' and various issues developed from that.
Only recently, looking back from a somewhat-not-really-appreciation of my body, I realised what the real problem was. I had to buy my first underwire bra when I was 8, moving onto a C cup by the time I was 10, but I still had a child-like lack of waist. So what I had thought of was 'freakishly-fat', was really just a normal kid growing into her body.
You are basically my hero on so many levels, including on self-image. Thanks for talking about this now. I've been habing some bad-girly-thoughts about myself and needed some grounding.

Amanda said...

So you wanna know something? This actually made me cry. I've been feeling down lately, especially about body image and I know I have no reason to be. Thank you for this encouraging note, this is exactly what I needed.

REBECCA HARVEY said...

You, Hayley G Hoover just made my day entirely better. That should've been said up on a stand in front of the whole world.

SheGlowsInTheDark said...

...Dang. You Rock!
I was feeling kind of down on myself, & this post really helped me today. Thanks.

Rosanna said...

I just love you :) nothing else can be said

Teresa Aguiar said...

Oh Hayley, I think you're even more awesome that you think you are! Great post! I've also been working on my confidence for situations like these!

Ida Ruda said...

You are brilliant. You really are. On so many levels.

Speaking of Tyra Banks, please tell me you've seen this: http://bicyclerace.tumblr.com/post/648120040/via-yerawizardharry

Kelly said...

Hey Hayley, I just put a new spin on a John Green quote that I thought would be relevant to you ;) "Blogs are the ultimate Dumpees: put them down and they’ll wait for you forever; pay attention to them and they always love you back."

Anonymous said...

You Americans are obsessed with look.

Maria said...

Thank you, Hayley, thank you A LOT.

I just wanted you to know that I really appreciated this blog post. (Of course I appreciate your other blog posts as much!!!)

I would like to apologize a little bit for being one of those readers that never comment or anything, but that really does not mean that I don't love reading your blog. It's just that whenever I start to (ok, it's not that often, but when I do) type in a comment, it always seems to come out wrong.

Thanks again and never stop writing for us!
<3

Nela said...

Hayley, you're such a beautiful person, I wish I knew you in real life.

In my life I heard boys (and girls) making this kind of comments to girls who were REALLY TOO thin, like underweight almost. So it's hard to find them relevant at any point.

Jess the Nerdfighting Band Geek said...

You just said it all. Really, you did.

In fifth grade I got in trouble because in retaliation to a boy calling me fat all the time, I made a blog where I called him mac and cheese (don't question how I thought this was an insult!). I got in more trouble than he did, which I'm not entirely sure makes sense. But now I am older, wiser, and stronger. =)

toastburntbread said...

I remember back in grade eight, a boy announced to the whole bus that i was "unhot". I felt so humiliated.


so you are right. he's a moron.
:) people say really stupid things some times.

Miranda said...

what's sad is that sometimes it's girls calling other girls fat, because of their own insecurities. They look for imperfections in others to make themselves feel good, which is an awful way to go about things. But really "calling someone fat won't make you any skinnier, calling someone ugly wont' make you any prettier, and calling someone stupid won't make you any smarter"

yeah i just quoted meangirls.

allysonkate said...

There's a difference between BODY SHAPE and unhealthy fat.

We all have different body shapes, regardless of how much we work out.

Great post, dear. :]

sam said...

i just want to say that you are such an amazing person. honestly, i wish you were my best friend or something! haha.
reading your blog honestly makes my day. i started university in september and unfortunately haven't had as much luck as you did last year, making friends and such. but reading your blog makes me happy so thank you for that :)

Anonymous said...

This reminded me of something I wanted to let you know about/thank you for. When you wrote about your weight loss I was at a weight that wasn't incredibly unhealthy, but unhealthy nonetheless. Since then I've lost 15 pounds partly from using livestrong.com to track what I'm eating.
I just started university, and thanks to your blog post, I lost the frosh 15 I couldn't afford before I gained it.

Thanks, Hayley :)

Originalsarah said...

I know it's been said already but thank you so much, Hayley! I'm 13 years old, in 8th grade now, and well...I think you know how that feels. You are so inspiring and a great writer. Promise all of us that when you become a fabulous, famous author that you'll still remember your blog.

Riley said...

This made my day.
A few days ago my friend asked me where I sat in one particular class (she has it the hour after me) and when I told her he said this one guy asked the teacher who sat there before him because the "seat is really warm. like cozy warm." and the teacher told me that I sat there and the guy yelled in front of the class "wow! she has thunder thighs!" I just acted like I just thought he was stupid, but I was really hurt. That is the part of my body that I hate the most and to hear someone vocalize their hatred for it to makes me want to cry. (I am about to cry just writing this)
I know that everyone makes a seat warm when they sit in it but it still made me sad. Now I get up five minutes before the bell to make sure that the seat cools back down so it doesn't happen again.

kmyhatisgone said...

Vicky, yo! said...

Thank you for this, Hayley! It was kind of an attitude check for me. I have a friend who is very thin (exactly the shape and size thatsociety calls beatiful now). She eats enough (and keeps it) and is just naturally slende. Usually when she talks about her body or says she thinks she's too skinny, I just say something along the lines of; "Hey, you shouldn't be complaining" I always mean it as a joke and a confidence boost, but body issues suck no matter what your size is, and you've made me remember that she has it exactly as bad as I do. So thanks!

dashingnika said...

I've been having problems with this lately... thanks for making me feel better. :)

dashingnika said...

I've been having a problem with this lately... thanks for making me feel more confident! :)

Anonymous said...

I usually love your blog posts, but all this said to me was "I'm skinny and hot, and you're not, but you should have more self esteem. Also count your calories."

Rosina Maria said...

You're pretty kick ass Hayleyghoover.

Charlotte said...

Today has been a pretty awful day. Reading this post I could feel the optimism and positivity radiating out from my computer in waves. Thanks, I really needed it. Not because I feel body conscious, but it is nice to know people care. I hope you have had a wonderful day.

Larangutang said...

Thank you Hayley!

kira902k said...

Thank you so much, Hayley. I'm a 16 year old girl...and I feel horribly self-conscious about my body. I KNOW I'm beautiful. Yet, when I look in the mirror, more often than not, I cringe. In reality, I'm not fat, but I can't stop calling myself that, and believing that I am. I want to lose weight, I want to have muscle. And I hate myself so much sometimes for not having the perfect body that must be so easy to achieve. I'm just so lazy.

And although this blog didn't completely fix my way-too-common self-esteem problems, it did help. Next time I call myself fat, i'll think back to this, and how sure you are in yourself.

Thank you <3

-alex

Adela said...

So, I'm normally a lurker on the Internet because as Maria said in another comment, every time I type out a comment it never comes out right but this blog post meant so much to me I thought I'd comment anyway.

I'm 14 and I am, quite frankly, a bit overweight. I'm not shockingly so, or obese but you can tell that I'm a bit chubby. I'm sure there are plenty of people that could give me 10 reasons and more why this is bad and why I should be trying to get in shape, lose weight, eat more healthily, exercise more, whatever. But what I really need to hear is that I'm beautiful no matter what and nice reminders like your blog post make it so much easier.

Last year I really struggled with my body image and self-esteem. I was constantly comparing myself to not just my peers but pretty much anyone who happened to walk past me on the street and it got really unhealthy. I made the mistake of not telling anyone, but I still managed to fix it by deciding I wanted to stop feeling negative about my body all the time, non-stop. So I worked at it and I am so much better. Sometimes it only takes the smallest thing to make me cry and feel awful about myself and then I have to start all over again but I'm working on being okay with myself and learning to love my body.

I've realised that I need to do that first before I can even try to lose weight because if I tried now I would be doing it for completely the wrong reasons. If I decide one day I want to get in shape and be healthier, I want to be doing it for me and for my own health and not for other people like I would be now. Thank you, Hayley <3

Shameen said...

Absolutely loved this blog entry. Loved it so much I finally decided to leave a comment.

Hope you start blogging more often!

serenamurison said...

Hayley, you are so incredibly beautiful. I love knowing that you know it.

Sarah said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sarah said...

Thank you so much. Really. I don't think you know how much this effected me as a 16 year old girl who could definitely afford to loose a few pounds and feels absolutely terrible about it all the time. But you're completely right and I just have to work on keeping a good attitude and taking care of it in a healthy way. You're the Best <3

KatOfDiamonds said...

You are awesome.
This is awesome.
I know I am awesome.
haha
But thanks for this post!

ladlesandjellymen said...

the people who say hurtful things to others regarding their body undoubtedly have self esteem issues of their own. rather than working on those, they focus their efforts on attacking others, trying to them feel as crap as they secretly do. idiots like that don't deserve the privilege of being listened to, so i choose not to. :)

Anonymous said...

you're so inspiring hayley! you make me want to go out and achieve things :')

TonksftMemories said...

THANK YOU! I'm pretty much the same, I actually have pretty high self-esteem (even though I'm pretty quiet at school except for my group of friends).

The high importance on looks sucks for the people who are deemed beautiful by society and for those who are deemed ugly by dooshbags of society.

Sometimes I feel the same for body image, the fact that I'm completely okay with my body (yeah, there are part that I'd like to change, but I'd rather read a decent book than worry about and I'd rather save up for Leakycon than invest in beauty products) sometimes is a negative thing. When I'm having a crap day it's almost like "Who am I to think I'm pretty? No one calls me pretty (except people online, because everyone knows that people online are awesome) yet I think so. It can seem arrogant at times.

Basically, the ridiculous focus our bodies fails for everyone.

(Also, kind of irrelevant side-note, I hate it with "beauty" that there is a "too white", "too dark", "too tall", "too short", as if there is one perfect measurement of each part of our body that we should all aspire to be. Variety is the spice.)

Nicci Weasley said...

You truly are awesome.
Keep spreading your thoughts and words!

Veronica said...

This made me feel so much better than myself. I'm in Middle School, my own personal little hell hole.
Well, it was.
I was bullied in 7th grade by a girl who used to be my best friend, and her army of people I had never met. I got called ugly whenever I set foot in the building,and multiple times throughout the day.
But I got through that. I tell myself she said that because shewas bitter that I was better than her, since everyone else apologized. That probably isn't true (although whenever anyone asks she says she did all that because I copied her outift...), but I've reached a point where I can look at myself in the mirror and look through the acne and the thin hair and tell mysef I'm beautiful, and I can put on something that doesn't follow trends and feel good about what I'm wearing.
The other thing is that I'm terrfied that people think I'm anorexic because I have a fast metabolisim. I eat a lot, and I eat a lot of crap, but I hate when people tell me how skinny I am, and how ridiculous it is that I'm 13 and I weigh around 80 pounds.
Regardless (since this is getting long), this blog post really just fortified my feelings about myself, and how it doesn't matter what other girls thin of me or what the guys think of me, because I think I'm pretty, and I like who I am, and that's what matters.

Veronica said...

Forgot to add:

Thanks, Hayley. For being who you are and reminding me that I can be who I am, too. :)

Rachel said...

Thanks, Hayley. You're awesome and kick ass too.

Anonymous said...

In response to:

"you're so inspiring hayley! you make me want to go out and achieve things :')" -- anonymous commenter

I feel the same way :D

Abby said...

Hayley, you really inspire me. Please please please don't ever stop being you and doing what you're doing. I think you're beautiful, nice, smart, and funny from what I see and one day hope to meet you so that I can see those amazing traits in real life. Thank you so much. (:

Anonymous said...

It is good to have self-confidence, and you dont have to be a size zero to be pretty, but being really overweight is still unhealthy. I am a huge beleiver in exercise and i think it is a really good thing if people are motivated to get in shape and lose weight to become healthier. ( and i think as a fellow runner you can understand that) I am not saying that you have to be tiny because all people are shaped different and that is a really good thing, but it is still never good to be unhealthily overweight. I think it is important to have confidence in who you are but also to want to be heathy and fit.

Maggie said...

In your post, you kept refering to GUYS who put girls down and called them names. And at first I was slightly offended, though I am a girl. But then I realised that part of the reason that I've grown so self confident (despite my extra poundage, which I don't give a damn about) throughout high school is because it's all girls! There are no guys to make me feel crappy, like there were in gradeschool. And in gradeschool, I DID feel shitty about my body. I have diary entries to remind me of it.

Monica said...

Thank you so much for writing this, Hayley. I hear it every day, but it's so hard to believe.. When it comes from you, someone I really look up to, I feel like it's true. I still don't think I'm beautiful, but I'm trying to change that. :)

Anonymous said...

:) I'm so proud of who I turned out to be, and I don't care how self centered that sounds because it's the truth. Middle school was living hell for me because my best friend was like your friend you described. Except she abused it, she used guys, and lied a lot to people to make her self look better. But more importantly, she put me down to make her self feel better. I spent 3 years trying to be like her, since all the guys wanted her, it seemed only natural. I mean guys drooled over her, it was disgusting.

But then I hit 8th grade, and I spent the summer being in marching band without her. And it sounds silly, but being apart of something larger, and finding friends who appreciated me was something I was new to. And she got mad that I was actually getting some confidence. I don't really talk to her anymore, but all those guys who obsessed over her now think she really isn't all that great. One of them asked me out, and like your Mom, I really enjoyed rejecting him. :) You give really great advice, if only I had you to tell me this in 7th grade!

Catherine said...

Hey. Thanks for sharing that. I've only just begon to read your blog (no not because of Charlie, I've watched your videos for a couple of years now but for some reason I never found the way to this blog) and I was just wondering...
Are you confident enough to wear a bikini of a bathingsuit?
Because I life very close to the beach and in summer all we do is go to the beach. It's very frustrating when everyone starts taking of their clothes and is so relaxed and skinny when I'm... well... Not.
I'm not fat but I'm not skinny either. So yeah. Are there situations when you can't help but feel not confident?