As I sit in an empty hallway with a bag full of textbooks and a laptop on my knees, it is suddenly dawning on me, Blog, that I am psychotic.
At my university, all classes start at ten minutes past the hour. This system was probably adopted to limit scheduling conflicts and to ensure students enough time to get from one end of campus to the other, but I can't help but feel like it summarizes the overall atmosphere of our school: laze in, laze out, take it easy, wear sweats. If you're ten minutes late, you're right on time.
I normally admire the type of people who don't allow themselves to be too consumed with fast-paced anxiety, the ones who find peaceful escapes from stress instead of always Starbucksing their way through the motions. And in a lot of ways, I'm one of them. The problem, however, is that no matter how artistic and writerly and smell-the-roses-ish I can be, I am incapable of being late. Incapable. For fear of holding people up or missing something important, I will always overestimate the amount of time it takes to complete a task or drive to the store or walk up a hill. So, when I tell myself that "Class starts at one," you can bet your ass I'll be there at 12:45.
But class starts at 1:10.
Meaning I'm twenty-five minutes early.
Which is basically half an hour early.
And what do you call the girl who's consistently half an hour early to an hour-long class?
Psychotic. We call her psychotic.
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55 comments:
I also fear the lateness. I have often arrived at places too soon, and just sat there like a loser. I have no words of encouragment. The only thing I can say is, do what I do now. Turn up late everywhere you go. It's the only solution!!!
I always give myself way too much time to get to campus, i set off about 20 minutes early, but it never takes me more than 10 minutes to get to campus. So more often than not, i'm standing around for 15 minutes, looking like an idiot.
I used to be exactly the same way!
But somehow it has worn off a bit the last few years. Can't tell you why or how. Maybe because I started finding it a bit of a pain in the A that I always arrived before everybody else... I still cannot stand being late, though.
And I often feel like I must be late, only to arrive and realize that I'm totally not late at all...
I can't be late. Ever. Under any circumstances. My dad and I drive each other kind of insane because he is compulsively late and I practically hyperventilate if I don't give myself way too generous amounts of time to be places.
My excuse for being constantly early is that it gives me time to read a few chapters of whatever in peace and quiet. Also, I am neurotic in the sense that I hate walking in late. This is especially true when going to the movies as I must watch the previews or even going into town. I always give myself ten-twenty extra minutes just in case.
I wish more people were like you, Hayley. I think being punctual is one of the most important quality to have--it makes it look like you have your shit together even when you really don't.
I am so scared of the thought of walking into a lecture late... because I just know it will be the day the lecturer comments on it and everyone stares, and the only seat is in a really awkward place. I just know!
I was never fussed about being late for things. In fact I used to scoff at my mum, who always has a complete fit if we are running even a minute late. However, over the years, I fear her obsession with being on time has rubbed off on me.
I have, on occasion, found myself worrying that I am running late for a lesson and rushing to my classroom. Only to discover no one else has arrived yet. And so I must hang around awkwardly for 10 minutes waiting for everyone else to arrive.
My university's the same way. All of my classes are across campus so I leave early anyway, which just complicates the matter. But on the bright side, I always get a good seat in class. It's only my 4th week of classes so I hope I can get the hang of not being to early or too late.
Whenever I'm late I get this weird feeling, I think it's guilt, I'm not sure but I can never understand how people either don't feel it or ignore it and are constantly late xD
I can't be late. It messes with my brain. But whats even
Worse if is someone else is late. You're sitting there, waiting for them, wondering how you're going to fit in all the things you've planned. It drives me insane. It so selfish; they ruin my scedual ;D
I am the same! Partially it's my OCD need to be there- like you, I'm worried I might miss something. But I also CAN'T be late. Sometimes I leave for parties when the party is supposed to start just so I won't be the lonely loser getting there at the stroke of nine... and when I get there, I'll be the firt one there and the only guest for a good half hour.
I have the opposite issue.. I'm consistently late. I underestimate the time it takes me to get from my dorm to my class, from class to babysitting, babysitting to dinner. Doesn't really matter what it is, I'm just consistently later than I intend to be when it comes to school or work. Even if I'm early, I'll go get a cup of coffee and end up being late.
I used to be exactly the same...mostly still am, actually, though with certain friends and (I'm ashamed to say) with my boyfriend, I've fallen into the habit of being late.
Oh, and I'm always late to class.
But other than that...I still share your paranoia about being late.
I find it rude and selfish to be late. Once or twice is understandable but if you know something starts at a set time and you're always late there is no excuse for that in my eyes.
I grew up as a military brat and learned that if you're on time you're late so I show up early for everything. I call work to tell them I'm running late and still manage to show up 10 minutes before I'm actually scheduled to start.
I'd rather be three hours early than 3 minutes late.
Well, it's better than being the girl who is consistently late. Cause that's me. And there are repercussions for being late. =S
rawr rawr. <3
I am exactly the same way. I guess we'll just have to share this psychosis. Or get jobs that appreciate it.
I'm the opposite. I'm late for everything. Parties, college, appointments, even TV. I rarely see the first 5 minutes of shows if I set out to watch them.
I've tried all sorts to be on time. Even waking up 2 hours earlier than usual. But no, nothing works. Something will always make me late.
And yes, my friends do hate me.
I'm the same exact way. At least, with college classes. If I'm running later than usual, I walk fast and nervously check the time every ten seconds, but am almost always still early.
BUT THEN, once I get to the building the class is in, I kind of stall sometimes. I'll go to the nearest bathroom or water fountain or walk really slowly, because I don't want to be too early, for fear of looking, well, psychotic... but maybe that makes me even more psychotic.
I do this too but with work. I bring a book with me so at least I can do something productive and don't have to sit bored in the breakroom watching whatever sports game is on the tv.
I'm exactly the same; my friends have started asking me to save them seats because they know I'm there at least 20 minutes ahead.
One thing that gets me about my university is that they don't give us enough time to get from one end of campus to the other. I've actually been LATE a couple times because running over a mile in 10 minutes uphill carrying books isn't feasible for me. xP Ah well.
That is my life according to class schedules. I'd rather be chronically early than chronically late, that's for sure. My dad taught me punctuality, though my reason for being early now mostly has to do w/ the fact that I want the left-handed desks in lecture halls. And the fact that I never want to miss beginning-of-class-quizzes that seem to be given in every class I ever take.
I don't like being late but I try to be on time without stress. I overestimate the amount of time like you do but I would never run for a bus that comes every 10 minutes or something.
Very early in class = time to read a few pages.
I DO THE SAME THING. Especially with work. I always feel really stupid sitting in the break room for half an hour waiting for my shift to start :P
My 9am is in a classroom exactly ONE MINUTE'S WALK from my dorm room. I have this class twice a week. Twice a week, I arrive at 8.46am.
I don't understand how people can be late. The mere thought of it makes me feel panicked.
I'm the same way, I absolutely hate being late. To the point that I tend to be sitting around waiting for a class to start 15 minutes before the teacher even arrives. But then again all of my classes (minus one) are about an hour apart so I'm sitting around waiting forever before I can actually get into my classroom. xD
Seems like most people here are very punctual. I am not. I don't know, I just don't like being early for things for some reason. For example, I dislike being early to parties or get-togethers in fear of having awkward conversations with one other person. Yes, I'm anti-social.
I go to a small university and my dorm building is right in the middle of campus, so it takes me like 3 minutes to get anywhere. Yet I still leave my room 20 minutes early to make sure I "get there on time." You are not the only psychotic one :)
Hayley, my school does the same ten after thing... and I too am consistently early. I share your psychosis.
Dude I'm the same way! I leave 30 minutes for class, knowing good and well the walk is only 10 minutes, i plan ahead in case I realize I forgot something in the middle of my walk and have to go back.
Anj
thissinglelife.com
Psychotic indeed, Hayley G!
Punctuality is good, but chilling is better. :)
I'm always everywhere late. And even if I schedule more than enough time, I'll still be late. If for once, I manage to leave on time, be sure that I'll have a flat tyre on my bike, and I'll have to walk. Or I fall down. I'm never in time, so just be happy with being in time, because even though waiting sucks, it beats the alternative.
I am exactly the same! Not just for classes, but for everything.
I can relate completely. COMPLETELY! I always take a train or two too early and then I arive at the train station way too early also and catch a train even earlier thus ariving wherever I need to be more than halv an hour than estimated. But I am actually okay with it. I detest being late and I also get a little irritated when people don't show up on time.
Usually my reaction to one of your posts would be a resounding "Hell, yeah!" But this one I don't get. I envy people like you with a passion - laid back, but still always on time - because I'm the complete opposite. I'm always rushing, always need to be somwhere, desperately trying (and failing) to multitask. That bit I enjoy, but I'm also chronically late. I've no idea how it happens, it's like my subconscious completely rejects the consept of punctuality. Well, at least I always get to make a dramatic entrance. Also, I feel strange admitting to this, but I read nerimon's slash fiction about you. It was strange and terribly written, but I couldn't help laughing my head off. Sorry:/
I am exactly the same! It starts to annoy friends when you consistently turn up quarter an hour early to everything (to the point where they tell you to meet them fifteen minutes later than they intend to get there) =L x
I'm the exact opposite! I'm always late for class, because I know I'll get in anyway. So if we exchange a bit of our earlyness and lateness, it would be perfect ;)
I *used* to be like this, and still am almost never late for actual classes. But I'm usually late for informal things, because I don't give myself enough time to get there or I can't find something or whatever. It's bad, and it's a habit I need to break. So yeah, I don't think your psychosis is a bad thing.
Hi, Hayley! I'm a faithful reader of your blog, but I rarely comment. I just wanted to tell you I've decided to go to OHIO! I'm superduperextremely excited. The campus is so pretty! I can't wait.
About being late - I'm the total opposite. I underestimate the amount of time it'll take me to to go somewhere/do something. I'm perpetually late, despite all my efforts to be early. I envy your psychotic punctuality. :)
I'm always 20 minutes early because the bus comes every half hour, and it's either be 10 minutes late or 20 minutes early. :|
So...Not to be obnoxious, but whatever happened to Presence???
I do exactly the same thing. I'm chronically early (as opposed to chronically late) - my roommates have always teased me about it, but oh well, I think being early is a good thing.
I try my hardest to never be tardy to anything. I have to be ten minutes early minimum to feel comfortable. When I go to the airport this is especially true, I will give myself three to four HOURS before my plane leaves. It's crazy. This semester though I've got a poor schedule with only ten minutes and 2 miles between two of my classes on Wednesdays.It's humiliating walking in six or seven minutes late every single Wednesday.
I know exactly how you feel. UNtil about the end of first semester of grade nine I was the girl who was outside the math room reading for fifteen minutes until class started because she had nobody to talk to at lunch. Thankfully things have changed, but, you know.
I second the Presence question. I understand life gets in the way of some things, so you should definitely take care of yourself before some silly internet blog. But we miss you over there. ):
Join the club, Hayley. Join the club.
Just spreading the word about Redbox's free movie code: BEMINE. Happy Valentines!
presence?
That is soo me! I leave my dorm for class 30 minutes eary, it takes 5 minutes to get to my building. My friends even give me a different time that we are meeting for dinner or something because they know ill show up super early and send them texts asking if there coming.
Psychotic maybe but I think there is a lot like us who have to be early. It's always better to be early than late anyway.
Hayley, I love you, but psychotic really isn't the term for that. Anal, maybe. OCD, perhaps. But psychotic... According to the dictionary, psychotic is defined as "Of, relating to, or affected by psychosis", with psychosis being defined as "a mental state caused by psychiatric or organic illness, characterized by a loss of contact with reality and an inability to think rationally. A psychotic person often behaves inappropriately and is incapable of normal social functioning."
I don't think that really describes you.
I'm sorry for being so... rude, you could call it, about this, but someone close to me actually suffers from schizophrenia, and it's kind of a mission of mine to clear any misunderstandings when it comes to psychosis and/or schizophrenia. Psychosis is a really, really serious illness, and being 25 minutes early for your class is not a part of it. When you're psychotic, you're suffering from hallucinations and delusions, your whole world is upside down.
So. I hope I didn't come over as too rude, but I just wanted to tell you this.
You're still awesome, though, don't worry :D <3
ME TOO!!!
i am psychotic too, according to your definition. i get up at 6 am and school starts at 08.05 am. i need about 15 minutes to get to my school. i leave at 07.20 which means, that i am there at 07.35, which means that i have to wait an eternity till classes start. being late means for me that i arrive around 07.50. i am the only one on time and all my friends are always late. i am now in 12th grade (which would make me a senior, i guess) in a grammar school and i have never been late (for 12 years)
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