Yes, I know, okay. There were several reasons behind my absence, none of them were legitimate enough to excuse it; I'm sorry. Burn me in effigy or call me a mean name in the comments or anything it takes to get it out of your system. Alright. Are we good? Can we proceed?
Truth be told, I've been avoiding you guys for a week or two, mostly out of embarrassment and general apathy. Well. That makes it sound more dramatic than it is-- I'm not apathetic. Right now, I'm quite purposefully shoving Wheat Thins into the wide-open, chapped-to-shit cavern that was once my mouth. I care about these Wheat Thins. They care about me. We're in an exclusive romantic relationship.
I... yeah. I got dumped.
I wasn't planning on making some giant public announcement about it, but it seems silly to hide things from you guys. This dumb blog has seen me at my worst and at my best, and to deny the existence of the former would just make the latter seem fake. So yes! I got dumped! I got dumped, I got dumped, I got dumped! I alternate between feeling 100% normal and then like I've just been shot in the stomach. Right now it's the second one... hence my efforts to fill the wound hole with high fructose corn syrup. It isn't the end of the world, but it is the end of a very big part of my life, you know? I haaaate being the victim but I can't pretend I'm not sad.
ON THE MUCH BRIGHTER SIDE, I have plenty of other things to occupy my mind. This week, I'll be finally making an official announcement about a project I've been alluding to for some time. I think most of you will find it really exciting, especially since it may (spoiler!) involve you. I hope you'll accept this token of my affection in exchange for a few more instances of blogbitching about my love life. Deal?
Chipotle burritos this year: A lot.*
Subscribers: 55,581
*There's a burrito place on campus that I can run to in between classes and while I'm ashamed to admit it, I've lost count of my designer burritos.
